TL/Editor: Butter Cat
Status: 4/week mon-thurs
Illustrations: none
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〈 Chapter 68 〉 Chapter 68. Fledgling.
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Even as ti passed, the curtain showed no sign of falling.
The original script, which I had practiced and thought about dozens, hundreds of tis, was now useless.
Even improvising had reached its limit.
The more I continued, the more I felt like I was sinking into a bottomless swamp.
Just when will the curtain finally fall.
How long do I have to drag this life out.
I thought I could finally end it beautifully this ti, but the many opportunities to end my life which had presented themselves, had long since vanished.
It would be nice if they could fly far away, the people who had grown from small ducklings into graceful swans soaring through the sky were still circling around , refusing to leave, as I drifted along the water's edge.
I felt a sense of pride, seeing them fly freely in the sky, their beautiful forms, but at the sa ti, there was a miserable who ended up feeling jealous of that sight.
I wanted to be like them.
But I, could never be like them.
It was a truly, outlandish desire.
"…You're all so unfair."
My complaints were short-lived.
The stage lights, shining brightly upon , alone on stage.
The sound effects, echoing from all directions.
They showed no sign of disappearing, continuing to shine mockingly at , still sitting on the ground.
No more mistakes will be tolerated.
"........♬"
The red shoes were put on my feet.
One, two. A frenzied dance that wouldn't stop until death began.
Even if the two dancing legs were cut off, even under the falling blade of the guillotine, the curse of these red shoes will never be lifted.
Because the hands grasping my legs, none other, would not allow the dance to stop.
Wrinkled hands and delicate hands.
Unsightly crushed hands and small, snow-white hands.
Hands with all nails pulled out and bleeding, hands covered in calluses.
Smooth hands and hands with unique rings, hands with traces of burns and hands with several fingers cut off, hands clutching banknotes and hands with striking red manicures.
As long as all of them don't let go, that is.
If one person is happy, does that an another person has to be unhappy?
Conversely, if one person is unhappy, does that an another person has to be happy?
I don't know about such a dichotomous argunt.
I don't even want to think about it, my head hurts.
But one thing is certain.
The happiness I had been ignorantly enjoying before, was sothing that should have belonged to soone else in this place.
And that I, who was only prolonging a aningless life, had stolen theirs.
The hands holding onto my legs were their hands.
The hands of those who couldn't live a happy life because of .
Whether this never-ending life was sothing I wanted or not.
The fact that I had stolen from them remained unchanged.
And the fact that I had to pay the price for it also remained unchanged.
That's why I shouldn't wish for happiness.
To bow my head, to kneel, to let them step on and climb to greater heights, was the only thing I could do.
And a single flower, a single teardrop that they dropped, a place in their mories that wouldn't be forgotten, was the only reward I could receive.
Be content with enjoying that process.
Haven't you been doing well so far?
Haven't you been enduring well so far?
".....Ha. Haha."
I stood up.
Who was it that said once you start dancing, you have to see it through to the end, that they didn't want to see a pathetic and anticlimactic ending?
It was none other than myself.
—Thud.
".........."
On the table, I saw a small knife used for cutting fruit.
A knife so sharply honed that if misused, it could easily take the life of a young girl, even by accident.
As if enchanted, I climbed down from the windowsill and started walking towards the table.
".....Uh… um… Princess…"
"..........."
Who is she calling?
It was easy to quietly pick up the knife without waking Tessa, who was sound asleep beside .
With trembling fingers, I caressed that sharpest object containing death.
Swish, swish.
".........."
My pulse raced, my heart pounded.
My reflection in the blurry blade. The dull surface was completely covered by a red liquid flowing from my finger.
But, even so.
"I don't feel anything."
As if I was completely broken.
Really, I felt nothing.
**
It fucking hurts.
That was my first thought.
"...From now on, I would appreciate it if you wouldn't get in my way with your half-baked sense of duty."
"...You're saying it's my fault? What the hell? No, seriously, why!? Hey!!"
"............"
Clink, clink.
I soothed my swollen cheek with a glass filled with ice, glaring resentfully at her, who was leisurely walking in front of with a gaze full of dissatisfaction.
I had stopped the fight, and tried to set things straight when she was about to head down the wrong path, so why then are you treating that coldly.
On top of that, she even broke my sword.
The wrist of my hand which had been gripping the hilt is still throbbing.
Look at my wrist! I said look!
Step, step.
"........."
Like a cat that's done sothing wrong but still wants to maintain its pride, yet can't quite manage to act completely brazen.
Seeing Saelli trying her best to avoid making eye contact with , as if there was sothing she felt guilty about, but in the end, I was the one who surrendered.
Well, considering my boundless generosity, I have no choice but let it go
No, in this case, she's more like a lion than a cat.
Anyway, from what I've heard, Saelli has lived several tis longer than , and if you look closely at her words and actions, they often seem no different from a child's. Maybe because she lacked experience in human relationships, despite her long life.
Like a naive child who had gotten hold of sothing so precious that she doesn't know what to do with it and just wants to hold it tightly in her arms.
Before, she used to give off a more adult-like vibe, but I wonder if it's because she's beco more true to her emotions while living with Alice—
—Thwack!
"...Oof?! Ah, s-stop. You hit a bone. Seriously…!!"
"........"
I got hit again.
My side ached terribly. Really, it hurt so much I could cry.
And Remi Akaia, instead of showing concern for as I limped down the street, clutching my aching side, glared at with a look of disdain.
To think that I had basically saved this woman too, and yet she was treating so coldly.
I wonder if she's not thinking of her own embarrassing mont, in that while Saelli and I were arguing, she was flapping her arms around and tapping Saelli's arm that was choking her.
Really. It seed like everyone around was completely devoid of conscience.
"Hngg… It's not like there's any place on my body to hit…"
"......You know, I've been thinking, don't you have a natural talent for earning a beating?"
".....?"
"......I'm saying you deserve another hit."
Thwack.
The fight was sohow resolved.
Saelli admitted that she hadn't ant what she said from the bottom of her heart, and that she had been overprotective of Alice's safety due to the unknown individuals who had suddenly attacked their ho.
Co to think of it, that's why she had sent Alice to the Museion.
I wonder who those reckless people that dared to attack Saelli were.
".....Haah."
"...What is it? No, tell what it is."
".........You don't need to know."
When I asked about the identity of the attackers, just in case, she stared at intently for a mont and then clamd up. She still hasn't explained what she ant.
I don't know what she ans by 'weeds' either.
And I don't know why she looked at when she said that, I really have no idea.
Anyway, even though it ended that way, Saelli still adamantly opposed Remi Akaia being near Alice.
When Remi Akaia heard that, she went berserk and got angry, almost opening the prologue to a second fight, but let's skip over that, thinking about it would only give a headache.
Well, in the end, we all agreed to just shut up and go see Alice.
Thinking about it, we all had the sa thought.
Tap.
"—The fact that you've already crossed the line, doesn't excuse your actions."
".....That's what you're bringing up after coming all the way here?"
"I thought I should say it before we et Alice."
The dormitory where I was currently staying.
With just one step left before entering the dormitory where I'm currently living, I turned around and gave Saelli a warning.
We had, undeniably, made a mistake.
But it should beco a milestone engraved in our hearts so that the sa thing never happens again.
It absolutely cannot an that because we've already committed a sin, it's okay to commit the sa sin again.
Even if her anxiety, born from the recent attack, made her act rashly, what was wrong is still wrong.
"I didn't an to confine Alice. I just wanted to eliminate anything that could harm her from her surroundings—"
"Shut up, a sturdy fence is no different from a cage."
Do you think it's right to lock away everything else so that they can't reach Alice, just because Alice isn't the one being caged?
What's the difference between that and turning the outside of the cage into the inside?
Saelli needs to understand that difference.
Well, at least it's a relief that she apologized, admitting that she too had montarily lost her head.
Because if Saelli truly set her mind to it, no one could stop her, except for Alice.
Even I was only able to get behind her back because of luck.
"Anyway, Alice has been gloomy lately, probably because you haven't been around. Go and cheer her up."
"...Huhu, yes. I understand."
"…Tch."
There was one person who was unhappy that the woman she didn't like was going to see her little sister, but overall, it was a satisfactory ending.
We slowly entered the dormitory where Alice was waiting.
Completely unaware of what was about to happen.
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