TL/Editor: Butter Cat
Status: 4/week mon-thurs
Illustrations: none
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〈 Chapter 20 〉 Chapter 20. Choice.
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Farming.
The act of sowing seeds or grains in the ground and later harvesting the fruits that grow from them.
It's considered one of the most representative and arduous labors in our long history, yet surprisingly, many people enjoy and love it.
You don't have to look far to find that I'm one of them.
I like it but… The reasons people like it are as diverse as the number of people in the world, but I think the most common reason is that the reward follows in proportion to the effort?
There's a saying, ‘The land doesn't lie.’
Well, the sky high above often spews out lies that are hard to accept.
Torrential rains, storms, droughts, and so on.
Anyway, farrs set out to work at the sa ti every day — before the stars disappear beyond the horizon and the sun reveals itself.
I plow the fields, pulling weeds, compact the soil.
Rustle, I generously sow the seeds.
Even though the seeds sotis don't germinate, even though they wither away right after sprouting, even though they beco fertilizer for other plants without bearing fruit, I continue to sow seeds diligently, following their lead.
And finally, has the sky recognized the sincerity of my prayers?
Green cotyledons have begun to sprout from the seeds I've sown.
Quietly, little by little.
Crack, the shells start to break.
This one is Anna.
This one is Remi.
And this one is—
—Elli.
I decided to call this plant 'Elli', after her nickna.
**
One month ago.
The day I planted a seed in Saelli, or rather, Big Sis Elli.
After I was subdued by Elli while pretending to have a ltdown after realizing I had lost my mory, I woke up in a bed in a bedroom and started revealing my mories bit by bit, amidst Elli's concern.
You said I didn't have to force myself to rember if my head hurt or my heart ached, didn't you? Her words, prioritizing my well-being over my mories, almost brought tears to my eyes.
Sniffle, sniffle.
Well, it was all an act from the start.
'Aris Akaia' had to die. There was no reason for her to live.
So I, myself, decided to kill her.
I said I had forgotten everything.
The mories of ten years, the happy past, my precious family, even my own na—everything was gone.
Like bubbles ford by the waves, disappearing as they crashed against a solid reef.
Crash, I was about to vanish.
Except for one thing.
"Anna…"
"…Anna, is that your na?"
I simply muttered the one syllables, 'Anna', in response to Big Sis Elli's question about my na.
Anna.
Anna Akaia.
My unfortunate older sister, who attacked , the root cause of her inferiority, to escape from it.
She must be continuing her relentless efforts, for , who died a aningless death due to her wrong choice.
".....No… no...!!"
"....!!"
"I...! I'm calling that na... Who is it? Who is it? AAAH...!!"
"...Calm down!! Breathe, take a deep breath. Now—"
I clutched my chest and wept.
Tears stread down, soaking the bandage.
After that, there were incidents where I almost passed out again because Elli thought I was panicking, or where I was forcefully laid back down on the bed while writhing.
The recoil of being laid down sent tingling sensations throughout my body, making scream.
And then, Elli, not knowing what to do, kept apologizing.
Hearing Elli's flustered voice was so enjoyable.
According to Saelli, I was found downstream of the river.
Even though the river served as a natural border, and one could travel through multiple countries by following its course, there were limits.
And considering the state of my body, I couldn't have been adrift for very long.
At most, a few dozen kiloters?
If my body had floated for longer than that, I would have beco fish food.
So this place was within the Tesillia Kingdom, even if we extend the range as far as possible, at most it’s still 'nearby',
The na 'Anna', and my appearance, which seed to be that of a noble.
Considering her kind heart, which led her to treat a young child like with such care, I'm sure she would spare no effort to uncover my past.
Then, eventually, she would find out as a reward for her sincerity.
The horrific past of , 'Aris Akaia'.
A child found on the brink of death.
No one knew what kind of atrocities had been inflicted upon her, but her body was mangled beyond words, and she seed so traumatized that she couldn't even rember what had happened.
And all that the child could rember was two syllables, presumably the na of a family mber. (TL Note: Two Syllables, Why? Because Anna’s Korean na is 안나 which consist of two.)
"Anna.....Anna....."
"......."
As if those two syllables were incredibly precious, the child called out that na every day, singing about wanting to see her.
She even whispered the na in her sleep.
But the gods are cruel.
The truth she finally uncovered was—that the sister the child so desperately wanted to see was the perpetrator of that horrific cri.
Driven by envy of her younger sister's talent, she ruthlessly stabbed her youngest sister and threw her off a cliff. A depraved soul.
It was hard to believe that she was human, with warm blood flowing through her veins like everyone else.
Heehee.
Hahahaha.
Would Elli tell the horrifying truth?
Or would she betray the child's expectations and lie?
A white lie, as they call it.
A doctor telling a terminally ill patient that they can live, instilling false hope.
So might consider it a good deed born from good intentions.
But in the end, a lie is a lie.
Those who utter lies must bear the consequences of their actions.
I'm curious.
What choice will Big Sis make?
Now—
Choose.
**
Life is a series of choices, and no one can escape that cycle.
She had hoped this mont wouldn't co, but the mont of choice had found her.
Ta-da, like this.
After the "disinfection" routine, which had been unusually intense compared to previous days,
I could sense sothing amiss in Elli's attitude towards .
Huh...?
Of course, I had known before that she felt an inexplicable sense of guilt towards , but the intensity was different today.
If it was like regular coffee before, now it's like Starbucks?
"… Big sis…?"
"........"
Tap, tap, I walked into the kitchen, leaning on my cane.
I called out to her, but there was no answer.
Unlike before, when she would respond within seconds to my words, Elli didn't seem to register my presence.
I walked towards where I sensed her presence and, spreading my arms, jumped into her embrace.
Hug, Elli's distinct, tallic scent assaulted my senses.
I can’t make out the sll of flowers or food, but for so reason, but I was strangely sensitive to the sll of blood.
How strange.
I snuggled against her back and called out her na.
"Big sis Elli…?"
"… Ah!"
She always noticed , even when I snuck up on her from behind with all my effort.
For Elli, with her remarkable perception, to not react until I approached her with my cane and embraced her…
Elli's voice was startled as she realized I was hugging her, and she slowly started talking to .
Heehee.
Big sis, you shouldn't play poker or anything like that, you know?
You'll lose everything, from top to bottom.
I could tell just by your voice.
"… I’m sorry. I made a mistake."
"Huh..? What do you an…?"
"…It’s nothing. Yes. Now, let’s eat."
Her tone was more broken than usual, and her responses were delayed, as if she was absentminded.
It was to the extent that even a young child who adored and followed her older sister would notice sothing was wrong.
Big Sis, you found out, didn't you?
I found out too.
Was that why today's 'disinfection' was so painful?
Sensing her strangeness, I slowly sat down in my designated seat for my als.
A soft chair welcod .
"…Here you go. I tried sothing a little different today."
"............"
"…Is sothing…not to your liking?"
The spoon wasn't lifted, it just moved around in circles, swirling.
Scrape, scrape, the spoon scraped against the bowl, making a sharp sound.
The al was, as always, a thin soup tailored to my condition. However, seeing that the portion was larger than before and there were so solid ingredients, it seed Elli felt that my condition had improved considerably.
Thud, I didn't pick up the spoon for a long ti.
"......."
"......."
As I put the spoon down, a heavy silence descended upon the kitchen.
I felt her gaze fixed on . Maybe she thought I was uncomfortable with the different al?
Or maybe she thought I was too weak to even eat because of the unusually painful treatnt?
Well, I do want to eat sothing else.
I spoke.
"Big sis Elli…"
"… Yes? What is it?"
Elli's voice trembled slightly.
A well-controlled tone, so subtle that one wouldn't notice the difference without listening carefully.
But often, those who pretend to be composed on the surface are actually rotting away inside.
Big Sis Elli, are you listing all the possible mistakes you might have made, lost in a whirlwind of delusions?
But what I'm about to say is sothing bigger than those trivial matters, sothing like...
Yes.
A bomb, you could say?
I spoke slowly, in a low voice.
Gulp, I heard Elli swallowing nervously.
"Big Sis… Did you find Anna?"
".....!"
The air froze.
Now is the ti to choose, Big Sis Elli.
What will you choose—?
A reality where only despair exists.
An illusion where hope doesn't even exist.
Both are, well, pretty much the sa.
Think long and hard about it.
Really~ really hard.
**
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