1st Ti
“I’m Aya Otonashi. Pleased to et you.”
The transfer student smiles faintly.
Her beauty sends ripples through the other girls, and while you’d think the boys would be excited, too, they rely sit in shell-shocked silence.
I’m no different. I’ve never seen soone as attractive as her. I don’t think I could look away even if I wanted to. Our eyes et, and her gaze draws in with no resistance. She seems used to the reaction, and she flashes a quick smile as we look at each other.
I feel like my head is spinning.
I’m going to fall for her, even though I know it’ll most likely never work out. She’s way out of my league. It feels like she ca out of another world. I probably sound a bit weak for putting it that way, but I’m pretty sure anyone would feel the sa looking at her.
“Let start by saying the answer is no.”
The smile never leaves her face as she says all of this.
“I, Aya Otonashi, do not want you to be nice to .”
A hush falls over the classroom.
With just a few words, she has silenced the uproar among her classmates, almost as if she cast so sort of magic spell.
“Please don’t think poorly of . I would like to be friends with all of you, if I could. But I’m afraid that is impossible. Allow to explain why…”
Her face grows lancholy, but she continues on in a faint voice.
“My existence as Aya Otonashi will never be anything more than an illusion.”
I don’t understand what she’s trying to say, but sothing about her tone makes swallow nervously.
“We were never ant to fit together. From our respective viewpoints, we are all simply dreams. The reason why is that I am a transfer student. We aren’t acquainted, you don’t know , and we will always return to this state in the end. I must continue to avoid forming connections with others and never entertain any thoughts of bonds. I truly am nothing more than an illusion among you. However, I take pride in my identity as an illusion. It’s also occasionally a source of pain for . But I must accept it, for if I ever fail to do so, if the weight of being nothing more than a vision overwhelms , then I will lose myself within this false world of repetitions.”
I can’t make heads or tails of what she’s saying, but I can tell she’s completely serious and not likely to stand for anyone making fun of her.
“I have abandoned my true na within this Box in order to beco this illusion. I felt that using my real na would be a hindrance, repeatedly drawing back to who I really am. If I fall victim to the false repetitions here, then I’m sure all of you will vanish, too.”
Her tone intensifies.
“That is why I must persist as an illusion, as Aya Otonashi.”
Ah, I get it. I don’t completely understand it all, but it feels like she isn’t actually Aya Otonashi yet. She’s going to beco Aya Otonashi from this point onward.
I’m sure it’s against her will, and I’m sure it isn’t sothing she wants.
But regardless, she still has to assu this identity.
“I’m not strong,” she says bitterly. “There will be tis when I want to complain and be weak. But if I ever do so in the course of what lies ahead, I will cease to be Aya Otonashi. So in order to ensure that doesn’t happen, I am going to voice all my weakest thoughts right here and now. I…”
A coincidence. Yeah, it has to be a coincidence, but still, right when she starts speaking, she looks at .
“I want soone to stand beside .”
Then she smiles at .
“I will now introduce myself again.”
When she speaks, it sounds like she’s making the introduction to herself as much as to us.
“I am Aya Otonashi. I am pleased to et you all, for the many tis to co.”
Aya Otonashi bows deeply to the class.
Unsure of what to do, no one in the class says a word.
That’s why I start clapping.
The sound of my hands coming together resounds throughout the classroom.
Eventually, soone else joins , and then soone follows our lead. Others join in, and the sound of the applause increases. Once we’re all clapping, she finally raises her face to look at us.
She’s no longer smiling.
She’s standing bravely, facing straight ahead with her fists clenched tight.
The deep-blue sky is clearer than I ever thought possible.
I check the date as soon as I wake up. It’s April 7. Today is April 7. I check the newspaper and TV just to make sure it really is April 7. I know there’s no aning in reconfirming it so many tis, but ever since the day I beca trapped inside the Rejecting Classroom, it’s beco the only way to put my mind at ease.
The events that took place within the Rejecting Classroom remain in my mind as information, but recalling those mories is like viewing pictures of that were taken without my knowledge. The Box, Maria, O—I know who and what they all are, but they stir no emotions, no anger or sadness or anything inside . I’m sure that’s why I’m also slowly forgetting I was once in love. The mories are all so thin and tenuous that they’re slipping through my fingers bit by bit.
I’m sure it’s the sa for Maria.
We were never ant to et in the first place, so I’m certain we won’t do so again now.
Anyway, today is April 7, the first day of school.
I’m now a second-year student.
My horoom is on the third floor now instead of the fourth. Just being a little lower and farther to the west isn’t going to change the scenery from the window much. But when I enter classroom 2-3, the atmosphere feels completely different, and my chest tightens with elation.
My eyes land on a printout lying on my teacher’s desk, detailing the seating arrangents. I take a seat in the one assigned to by the chart. I greet my new classmates with a gentle “Nice to et you,” which they return in kind. Yeah, this is going to be nice.
Another face enters the classroom.
When he spots , he raises a hand in greeting.
“Wassup, Hosshi? Looks like we’re in the sa class again!”
He hasn’t said anything strange, but all fifteen of the people in the room turn to look at us.
Yep, Haruaki is as loud as ever.
“…Hey, Haruaki.”
“Huh, what’s up?”
I regard him with a suspicious look. “Is it really you?”
“…Why’re you looking at like I could be so sort of fake? You think I have a twin brother or sothing? Maybe one of those super-famous manga out there has you convinced that all high school pitchers are twins!”
“…That’s not it.”
I guess it’s going to be a while before I stop suspecting Haruaki…
“By the way, Hosshi, have you heard—?”
“Hey, it’s Haru and Kazu!” A new voice cuts Haruaki off midsentence.
Kokone stands by the door of the classroom with Daiya next to her.
Did the two of them actually co to school together like friends? If I point that out, I’m sure I’ll spend the rest of the day enduring Daiya’s ntal torture, so I keep my mouth shut.
“I felt my heart leap at the sound of a woman’s voice, only to find out it was just Kiri. You really know how to take the wind out of a guy’s sails!”
“What the hell type of reaction is that, Haru? Who do you think you are?”
“Yeah, well, I know you’re a big fan of mine, but I really have to draw the line at you following to another class, you know? That’s all I was trying to say.”
“Ha! Sounds like you’re just trying to cover up the fact that you’re madly in love with . You’re such a child. And while we’re at it, maybe you should stop filling up your phone with recordings of my oh-so-cute voice?”
“Who the hell would do that?!”
“‘Yes, Master!’ …C’mon, Haru, it’s the perfect chance to add another clip to your adorable little collection! Here, I’ll give you another. Maybe you’d like it if I said ‘Welco ho, Master!’ this ti?”
I don’t know what to make of their conversation, but I do know it’s embarrassing, so I hope they’ll stop soon.
“Ugh… Hey, Kazu, you don’t have any firecrackers on you by chance, do you? I wanna light one up and throw it in Kiri’s mouth so we can have so peace and quiet.”
“Oh, look, it’s Daiya. He must be jealous because I’m giving Haru here all my finest voice samples. Don’t you worry, though. If you bow down and lick my shoes, I might just call you ‘Big Brother’ in my best little sister voice. Wow, I’m so nice!”
“Could I get you to say ‘I’m sorry for ever being born’?”
…Here I am in a new class, yet nothing has changed at all.
Still, this is exactly what I wished for.
I’m sad that Mogi and Maria aren’t here, but this is what I fought the Rejecting Classroom so hard to restore.
“…What’re you grinning at by yourself over there, Kazu? You look like a creep.”
Daiya brings everyone’s attention to .
“Ew, he’s right! Kazu has a huge grin on his face. He must be having a little laugh to himself or is probably thinking sothing perverted. Yeah, I’ll bet he’s imagining what it’d be like to have a little fun with the girl sitting next to him.”
“I’m not.”
I shut that down right away. Kokone purses her lips.
“Whose seat is this, anyway? Soone I know? Soone cute?” Haruaki asks, even though he’s sitting in said seat like he owns it. I know the person’s na because I checked who would be sitting there out of curiosity while finding my own seat.
“Yeah, it’s a cute girl.”
“Really? Who?”
She has a desk here. That at least makes happy. As long as she has a seat here, she can take it one day. Who knows? That seat may not be next to mine anymore by the ti she makes it back, but that doesn’t upset .
I smile and say the na of the one assigned to the seat next to mine.
“It’s Mogi.”
Reviews
All reviews (0)