“What I’m saying is that it doesn’t matter whether this is normal life or the inside of the Rejecting Classroom. You get ?”
That’s Haruaki’s counsel.
I was completely stumped earlier, so during break I asked him to hear out. After telling him everything over lunch, I’m listening to his response as we stand behind the school.
I know Haruaki. He isn’t saying this because he doesn’t believe my ludicrous story.
“What do you an, it doesn’t matter…?”
“Uh, hey, I’m not saying I don’t believe you, okay? But let’s just say we are inside this ‘Rejecting Classroom’ right now. How is this any different from the normal life you want?”
“What do you an? Everything about it is different.”
“C’mon, it’s the sa. You said all of us disappeared, and now we’re back. That Aya Otonashi girl you ntioned was never a mber of our class to begin with. Things just went back to normal. You see that, right?”
Things just went back to normal?
…Maybe he’s onto sothing.
I would never have t Maria if it weren’t for the Rejecting Classroom.
No one here knows anything about her. And that’s as it should be. Aya Otonashi has always been a foreign presence in classroom 1-6.
Maybe everything I’m talking about is just sothing I dread up. Maybe Aya Otonashi is a fignt of my imagination.
…I can’t tell. But I do know today is still March 2.
“If we’re inside the Rejecting Classroom, then it will always be March second. Can you really argue that isn’t unusual?”
I thought Haruaki would agree with , but I was wrong.
He tilts his head a bit to the side as he replies.
“I think you know the answer to that question yourself.”
The way he acts like it’s so obvious brings up short. He scratches his head in puzzlent as he watches .
“I know what you’re trying to say, Hosshi. But you only feel that sothing is wrong because you’re aware things are looping. So you’ve got your everyday average life that you took for granted up until now. If the sa day of that life were to repeat over and over, you wouldn’t know it, right? I don’t feel anything is off right now, for instance. Here, at this very mont, I believe I’m in the middle of the sa old boring day-to-day I’ve always known, even if it does happen to be inside the Rejecting Classroom.”
He’s definitely right.
The only reason my gut tells all this is wrong, that it’s horrible, is because I know about the classroom. If I didn’t, I probably wouldn’t notice anything strange at all.
My awareness of the Rejecting Classroom is the source of my ntal turmoil. Without that, I could fully enjoy the normal life laid out for here, even if it’s stuck on repeat permanently. The days would roll by as I avoid the sad fate of soone I can’t identify. It would all be so happy and convenient.
The idea of destroying all this is nothing more than self-satisfaction.
“It looks like you understand now, Hosshi. So what’re you going to do?”
“Right. I know what to do now.”
“See? Well then, maybe…”
Haruaki trails off. Wondering why, I turn around and find Mogi standing behind .
“What’s the matter?” I ask.
“Can I borrowKazuki for a second?”
I look at Haruaki for a mont upon hearing her words.
“Anyway, Hosshi, I guess that’s probably enough about that for now, huh? Feel free to hit up if you ever want to talk about it so more.”
“Sure. Thanks, Haruaki.”
With a quick “You’re welco,” Haruaki leaves.
What does Mogi want? Was she looking for specifically?
I give her face a closer look. I can’t help but think how pretty it is, and I quickly look away.
“…”
Her brows are furrowed, even though she’s the one who wanted to see .
“…I’m going to ask you sothing, and I want you to answer, no matter how crazy it may sound.”
“Uh, sure…”
I give my assent, but Mogi’s face still tightens as if she finds this a difficult topic to broach. She takes a mont to gather her nerves and then looks straight in the eyes as she asks her question.
“Am I Kasumi Mogi?”
What?
The question is so out of the blue I can’t even act surprised, and instead I stand there without much expression at all.
She averts her gaze in apparent embarrassnt.
“……Um, do you have amnesia or sothing, Mogi?”
“…I know what you want to say, but please just answer the question.”
“You’re Kasumi Mogi. That’s obvious…”
Now that’s a line you’d never hear from normally.
“I see…,” she murmurs, seeming slightly sad for so reason. “You might not believe what you’re about to hear, but please hear out. The truth is…”
The next words from Mogi, the Kasumi Mogi who I was in love with, are unbelievably absurd.
“I’m Aya Otonashi.”
“…Huh? Aya Otonashi…? You’re Maria? But how?”
Mogi continues as I stand there in shock.
“Yes, I’m Aya Otonashi. You and all the others have fallen for this charade where I’m sohow Kasumi Mogi even though I look and talk completely different from her. I have no way to confirm it, but I know for a fact I am Aya Otonashi.”
Despite all that she’s saying, the only person I see before is Kasumi Mogi. Still, I can’t deny that she does look and speak exactly like the Aya Otonashi in my mory…
“Uh, well, how about this? Lots of manga have stories about people with multiple personalities, right? Maybe you’re experiencing sothing like that right now?”
It sounds ridiculous, but it’s still within the realm of rational thought.
“I already considered that. If that were the case, it would be strange that you didn’t harbor any doubts about the sudden changes in my personality, and the na Aya Otonashi would never have co up. Don’t you agree?”
There’s no denying that I never said the na Aya Otonashi to Mogi.
“So why would you have turned into Mogi in the first place?”
“…The way you’re describing the situation is misleading. I have only been placed in the role of Kasumi Mogi. I haven’t actually transford into her in the physical sense. I’m happy about that, at least… But anyway, I’ll explain how I see this situation. If I’m Aya Otonashi, that ans Kasumi Mogi does not exist in the 27,756th transfer. Do you understand?”
I nod.
“Kasumi Mogi is gone. Her position is vacant. I told you before that it was not by my own intent that I was treated as a transfer student in this world, right? This ti, I think I’ve been assigned this empty space instead of being brought in as a transfer student.”
It sounds like a bit of a stretch. “But there’s no way I, or anyone else in the class for that matter, would mistake you for Mogi.”
“That was definitely one of the biggest problems. But when I ran up against this issue, it actually cleared up sothing else. The owner of the Rejecting Classroom experienced 27,755 of its loops. Their personality should have changed a least once sowhere in all that ti, but no one ever noticed anything like that occurring.”
I have to admit she might be right.
“It’s natural to deduce that so rule of the Rejecting Classroom prevents others from noticing changes to the owner and also prevents those changes from interfering with their personal relationships. Kasumi Mogi was the owner, but for so unknown reason, she has vanished, and now I have taken her place. The aforentioned rule ca into effect, so now no one notices anything different, even though my appearance and personality are that of Aya Otonashi.”
Her explanation does seem feasible, at least.
If Mogi really is Maria, then I definitely have cause to rejoice. Of course I do. I an, I would have no idea of what action to take in all of this without her. Maria would be my guiding light.
Still…
“I don’t believe you.”
I’m just finding it all too hard to swallow.
Perhaps startled by my unexpectedly strong response, Mogi eyes with a guarded expression.
“I know it’s hard to believe, but there’s no reason for you to react like that.”
I chew on my lip.
“Oh, I see now. You don’t want to accept what I’m telling you as true because doing so would be the sa as admitting that Mogi was the owner of the Box. You want to avoid that if possible. I can understand why. After all, you loved—”
“That’s enough!!” I yell without aning to.
She’s right. There’s no way in hell I want to accept any of what she is saying. But it isn’t Mogi being the owner that bothers . No, the thing I absolutely will not accept is…
“……I’m in love with Mogi.”
I force myself to say it.
“I know.”
Mogi herself scowls as if asking why I’m saying sothing like that now.
“That’s why there is no way you could be Maria!”
My hands clench into fists. Seeing the way they tremble, I’m sure she finally understands what I’m trying to say. Her eyes open wide, and her mouth closes.
I love Mogi.
That feeling will never change,not even if she looks exactly like Aya Otonashi.
Let’s say everything Mogi is telling here now is true. That would make the biggest idiot in the world. It would an I didn’t notice anything different about the girl I loved, despite how much she had changed. I didn’t notice even though Maria replaced her entirely. It has less to do with her and more that I can’t handle my emotions.
People often say that love is blind, but this would be on a whole other level.
It would all be fake.
It would an that this love that I’ve embraced for such an unbelievably long ti is false, nothing more than a sham.
That’s why I can’t accept any of Mogi’s argunts. I can’t accept the idea that she’s Aya Otonashi. The mont I do, this love will die.
“I love you, Mogi!”
That’s why I shout those words like a declaration of war.
She falls silent and closes her eyes.
If there’s a worse way of telling soone how you feel, I’d like to see it. I’m just crying out my denial of this situation without giving any thought toward her feelings.
I clench my fists even tighter. I’ve co this far. I have no choice but to say the rest.
“If you really are Maria, then prove it!”
Her eyes remain shut for a short while.
Having steeled her will, she opens them and speaks.
“Have it your way.”
I flinch at the strength in her voice.
“You may have succumbed to the Rejecting Classroom, Kazuki, but that doesn’t change what I have to do. That’s why I thought maybe I would just leave you be. I’ve decided not to, though. I don’t want sothing like this to bring you to your knees.”
As she grabs my right hand, my eyes reflexively go to hers. She never looks away once.
“I want you to know this: I am, and could never be anybody but, Aya Otonashi.”
She draws my hand toward her chest.
“Wh-what are you doing?”
“I am a Box.” There’s disgust in her voice. “That ans I’m not a human like Kasumi Mogi.”
“Doesn’t that just an you’re granting a wish, then? Mogi is like that, too. Even if you could sohow show the Box, that wouldn’t be proof that you’re Aya Otonashi.”
She shakes her head.
“You’ve heard stories about fairies who grant a single wish, no matter what it is, right? Did you ever think that for your wish, you would just ask to have more wishes?”
I nod.
Now that she ntions it, I have considered getting infinite wishes that way.
“I’m embarrassed to say that my wish was sothing similar to that.”
Her tone is full of self-mockery.
“I asked to be able to grant other people’s wishes. Making others’ desires co true is my entire existence now.”
“That ans…”
She is exactly like a Box.
Still, I thought her wish was a noble one. Why, then, is her smile so self-deprecating?
“Unfortunately, I didn’t have complete faith in my ability to do such a thing. The Box didn’t grant my wish in its entirety. Everyone who used my powers vanished becausethe Box drew upon my feelings that wishes don’t co true so easily in the real world.”
I’m at a loss for words. It’s as if these magical objects never grow tired of toying with people.
“Kazuki, I will let you touch my Box. After that, I never want to hear any more nonsense from you about being soone other than who I really am.”
She opens my hand and presses my palm against her chest.
I can feel the beating of her heart.
And then…
“Ah!”
…I’m at the bottom of the ocean. Even on the seabed, it’s still bright, like the sun has sunk down here along with . It’s beautiful. I find myself srized by the water. But it’s also cold, and I can’t breathe.
Everyone looks so happy. So joyful. So jubilant. Everyone is smiling down here under the sea, where they can frolic with the deep-sea fish, where they can drown and bloat and freeze and collapse under the pressure. There’s no aning down here. Nothing overlaps. Each of them has their own puppet show or ga of pretend or picture presentation or cody down here. Everyone is a blissful tragedy.
And in the midst of all this, soone is crying.
Amid all the happy people laughingha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, there’s one single person who is crying.
I shake my head. This must be so sort of vision. Just a vision. I’m not actually seeing any of this.
But it’s enough to make understand. Soone’s emotion, a feeling of hopeless solitude, has been irrevocably embedded in my body.
I surface from the depths of the ocean and return to where I was.
She lets go of my hand.
I slowly pull it back from her chest and sink weakly to my knees.
As soon as my legs touch the ground, I can feel the tears streaming down my cheeks.
It’s no use. There’s no way I can deny her claims after seeing what I just saw.
“That is the misbegotten happiness of my Box.”
She is Aya Otonashi.
But doesn’t Mogi have a Box, too? That doesn’t matter. It wouldn’t be enough to refute Maria’s claims. I don’t need logic to understand this. A single touch was enough to make understand that the girl standing before is Maria.
I’m sure what I saw was sothing she normally avoided showing to others. She did it for , though.
All so I wouldn’t lose myself to the Rejecting Classroom.
“Maria, I’m sorry…”
Maria smiles and shakes her head.
“…”
I hate my emotions right now.
Even though I understand, deep down in my bones, that she’s Aya Otonashi, I can’t change my feelings toward her. Her smile is irresistibly cute. The last vestiges of my affection are toying with , refusing to fade.
My tears keep flowing as I kneel there, disappointed at my inability to completely free myself of this love.
“Kazuki.”
Maria says my na.
“Huh?”
Then she does the last thing in the world I would have expected her to do.
She takes into her arms.
I comprehend the physical action itself but not the aning behind it.
The hesitant way Maria moves her arms is totally unlike her.
“You’re the only one who rembered my na.”
I can’t quite figure out why she’s saying this.
“If it weren’t for you, I would’ve been alone. It pains to say it, but you just being there supported in its own way, even when I mistook you for the owner. That’s why…”
I finally get what Maria is doing.
“…I’m here to support you now.”
Maria is embracing . Contrary to her words, what she’s doing isn’t supporting so much as enfolding , weakly and timidly.
“I can be kind to you while you’re in love with .”
I’m confused.
I can’t determine whether the feelings inside at the mont are for Kasumi Mogi, Aya Otonashi, or both of them.
I do know one thing for sure. Being here like this, right now, makes the happiest man on earth.
“Ah.”
What if…
What if Maria had another reason for allowing to touch her Box besides just convincing ? She didn’t want to say she was Kasumi Mogi. She wanted to acknowledge her existence. The notion runs through my head, but eventually, a laugh rises to my lips as I realize how ridiculous it all sounds.
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