□ ■ □
I lost track of how many songs we sang. More accurately, I got tired partway through and just sat there listening. Turned out, Baek In-hyeok was a microphone hog. As soon as you handed him the mic and pushed the button, it was like a vending machine—music just kept coming out.
Seon-jae stuck to ballads, In-hyeok stuck to rap. The two of them kept at their preferred genres for a while, then gradually branched out—singing songs by other idol groups, then pop songs, and even ani OSTs.
They must’ve gone to karaoke together often, because their teamwork was on point. They split up the lyrics effortlessly and even nailed the original artists’ ad-libs. Watching Seon-jae mimic them perfectly, I had to hold back laughter. You two should totally debut as a unit. You’d kill it, I thought to myself.
With one last coin left for a final song, a worn-out Baek In-hyeok slumped down and handed the remote. He told to "carry Seon-jae on your back and run" and wrap it up with a bang. I took the remote and just sat there blankly until a song popped into my head. I pushed the button and started the song.
“Isn’t that kind of a sad song to sing in front of your boyfriend?”
In-hyeok wiped the sweat from his forehead with his palm as the song title faded off the screen and the lyrics began to appear. Maybe it is, I thought for a second—did I choose sothing too sad? But the countdown had started, so I grabbed the mic. I stood up, the white Santa beard still hanging from my neck. It’s the last song. I should give it my all, I thought.
“She’s gonna belt this one out, huh.”
In-hyeok rested his head on Seon-jae’s shoulder as he said it. Their reflection flickered on the screen’s dim glow. Seon-jae shifted his shoulder like he was trying to shake him off, but In-hyeok just pressed down with his head harder.
After the song ended and we got ready to leave the booth, Seon-jae and In-hyeok put their helts back on, and I pulled the beard up from my neck. The way we all looked getting ready to go—it was like a gang of robbers heading out to rob a bank.
Helt on, visor lifted, Seon-jae reached up and tugged at the beard hanging beneath my chin. As the beard slipped down past my lips, I looked up at him. Without saying a word, he looked back at . What’s this about? his expression seed to ask. Then he pushed the beard back up and patted it into place right under my nose.
“You sang ‘I Won’t Love’ for the last song. It was so emotional I thought you ant it.”
I was combing the tangled beard with my fingers when I glanced at Seon-jae again. He seed slightly bothered by my song choice.
“It was just a song. What’s the big deal?”
I poked him in the side with my elbow. This ti, Seon-jae pulled the beard up over his eyes.
“I don’t even listen to lyrics like that anymore. I don’t relate to them at all these days.”
He yanked the beard down and lifted his gaze. In-hyeok, who had gone out first, opened the door and stuck his helted head back in.
“Hey, standing out here in a helt alone is hella embarrassing. Hurry up and get out here.”
He pulled his head back out and disappeared. I turned back to Seon-jae. Looking up at his tall fra, I reached up and pulled his visor down. Then, placing both hands on his helt, I leaned forward and kissed the top of the visor.
“Hey, that’s supposed to go on my lips.”
“Later.”
I grinned and turned to walk out.
We descended the stairs and stepped outside. Baek In-hyeok, wiping the sweat off his hands, took a step back like he didn’t want to be seen standing too close to us.
Seon-jae had the highest score. That ant he got the wish coupon. In-hyeok stood across from us like a man about to be executed, shoulders drooping as if bracing for a formal farewell.
“Seon-jae, I’ll grant your wish,”
In-hyeok said, lowering his head dramatically. His helt tilted downward until Seon-jae reached out and shoved it back up.
“Why would I use it on you? How would you even grant it?”
“For real? Then I don’t have to leave?”
Seon-jae nodded.
“If you’ve got any self-awareness, you’ll go on your own.”
At that, In-hyeok placed a hand on Seon-jae’s shoulder, looking betrayed.
“That really stings, coming from you.”
Seon-jae shrugged, knocking his hand off.
“So what’re you gonna wish for? Who’s it for?”
In-hyeok asked. Seon-jae raised his arm and wrapped it around my neck.
“I’m using it on Chun-baek.”
“Huh? On ?”
I leaned against his chest, looking at the dark helt in front of , when people started whispering as they walked past us. They were muttering amongst themselves, but their voices were loud and clear.
“Is it Halloween today?”
“It’s February, dumbass.”
“No, I know that. I’m saying they look weird.”
“Maybe it’s a delivery gig.”
“What’s with the Santa, then?”
“Probably so church event. Why are you asking , go ask them.”
Oh no, definitely don’t co ask us.
I grabbed both Seon-jae and In-hyeok by the arms and made a hasty exit.
□ ■ □
We stood in front of Jagam High School. The familiar sign brought an odd feeling. Baek In-hyeok stepped through the gate with a bounce in his step, his helt swaying side to side as if he were humming.
“This is where I first t you.”
Seon-jae said, looking out at the schoolyard.
Yeah, I murmured under my breath—probably too quietly for him to hear. Seon-jae rested a hand on my head and gently brushed my hair back.
In-hyeok had walked to the center of the field and was waving at us with both arms raised.
“Hurry up!”
“Uh... behind you.”
I stretched out my finger, pointing behind him.
Before Baek In-hyeok could turn around, a ball ca flying in a curve and smacked his helt square on. A young boy—probably an elentary schooler—ran over. For a second it looked like he was going to apologize, but instead, he picked up the ball first.
“Dude, that hurt!”
“Ah, I’m sorry.”
“Why’re you playing soccer alone?”
The two of them walked together toward the goalpost. As Seon-jae brushed his hair down, his hand brushed against mine. He laced his fingers with mine and said, Let’s go, before stepping forward. We entered the gate and cut across the school field.
Back when I ti-traveled, Seon-jae had always tugged on my backpack or pulled the hood of my duffle coat or puffer jacket. That’s why walking hand in hand across the Jagam High field now felt strangely unfamiliar. This isn’t a dream, right? I thought as I rubbed my fingers against his. Seon-jae looked down at .
“What?”
“Nothing. It’s just strange. I rember glaring at you around here, like if you said your na one more ti, I was going to kill you.”
This was about where I had run up to him and hugged him. I laughed to myself, rembering how cold his expression had been.
“And yet, you kept calling .”
“Yeah. I was really bad at listening.”
“Yup. You kept showing up, making fall for you. Then once you realized you liked back, you ran away.”
I turned my head and gave him a sideways glance. I pouted in mock denial, only for the fake Santa beard to get caught in my mouth.
“Oh yeah, you said you ti-traveled. Does that an I fell for you when you were twenty-four?”
Uh... I’d never thought of it like that. I blinked slowly. Seriously, that had never crossed my mind.
“Well, you must’ve fallen for as an adult too, right?”
I shook my head right away. At first, it had just felt like peeking into the past of a celebrity I adored. Ryu Seon-jae, my ultimate bias. The one I could only see through bromides and album photocards. But over ti, those feelings had grown into sothing deeper.
Eighteen-year-old Seon-jae was just a regular high school boy. But to , he had never been ordinary. Still, the ti we spent together was filled with the most ordinary things. Walking side by side, hearing birds sing, watching clouds float by. The sunlight shattered and cast long shadows under our feet. Cars drove past. Lights flickered in the dark.
Those small monts piled up.
The soccer ball that rolled into an alley. The scent of hot fish-shaped buns we passed. The grainy feeling of sand pressing into my palms when I collapsed on the field, exhausted.
The wind tousling my hair. The visible breath in the cold air. The warmth that spread when our hands touched. The flutter in my chest when our eyes t.
calling, Seon-jae, and him replying, Kim Chun-baek.
Like the world turning white when snow falls, sothing had covered over all the old feelings and replaced them with sothing stronger, clearer. I loved him. I loved the high school version of Ryu Seon-jae I had t.
“Isn’t it?”
“No. It’s not like that.”
“Then when did you start liking ?”
I stopped walking and thought. When did I start liking him? I looked up at the sky, then turned my head. A breeze blew the fake beard under my nose in the wind’s direction.
“I don’t know. I just liked you from the start.”
Seon-jae, who had been gazing quietly, reached out and fixed the beard caught in my collar. Carefully, he straightened it and then brought his hand to gently brush the corner of my eye.
“I love you.”
...That was sudden. Wasn’t this a weird mont to say that? While wearing a helt? While I had a Santa beard on?
But still—my heart pounded.
“God, you guys look ridiculous right now.”
Baek In-hyeok shouted from afar. We turned to look. He was standing at the goalpost with the kid, holding a soccer ball. Looked like he’d taken it from the boy. He set it down, bent over, and whispered sothing in the boy’s ear.
As Baek In-hyeok straightened up, the boy kicked the ball hard. It soared toward us. Seon-jae leaned back and received it smoothly with his chest, juggled it off his knee, and kicked it right back. Even while holding my hand, his movents were perfect. I wanted to clap—but he was still holding my hand, so I just smiled instead.
□ ■ □
We sat together on the bleachers—Baek In-hyeok, , and Seon-jae—each sipping banana milk through a straw. The kid was still playing alone by the goalpost with the soccer ball. We’d played so ridiculous excuse for a soccer ga together, all four of us. Baek In-hyeok was just as bad at it as I was.
According to Wikipedia, Baek In-hyeok had studied piano since he was a kid. That’s why he’d always avoided PE and spent break ti in the music room. There was even a page full of quotes from his old classmates confirming he was never the type to run around.
As he drank his milk and sucked through the straw, In-hyeok ran his hand through his hair to cool off.
“I swear, I was born incompatible with sports.”
I nodded with the straw still in my mouth. Seeing with my beard parted neatly and the straw between my lips, Baek In-hyeok burst out laughing.
“Hey, you actually look really cute right now.”
Seon-jae and I turned our heads at the sa ti. Receiving both our stares at once, Baek In-hyeok blinked in confusion. He looked back and forth between us, then shrugged as if to say, what’s the big deal?
“What? Why are you so surprised? It’s not like I said I like you or anything.”
My eyes went wide at Baek In-hyeok’s words. What the hell, do you... like or sothing? When I stared at him with that kind of face, he furrowed his brow like I was being ridiculous.
“I don’t like you, okay?”
“Oh, right?”
I chuckled awkwardly and turned my head away. But Seon-jae’s gaze didn’t leave Baek In-hyeok’s face. After watching him for a mont, Seon-jae tapped the helt beside him.
“Not going?”
“You’re already kicking out?”
“Then when are you planning to leave?”
Baek In-hyeok pouted like he was genuinely upset. He put on his helt and called out loudly to a boy who was rolling a ball near the goalpost. When the boy looked over, Baek In-hyeok raised a hand and gestured for him to co. The boy kicked the ball into the goal and ran over.
“What is it?”
“You know how to take pictures, right?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“Then take one for .”
Baek In-hyeok took out his phone from his pocket and handed it over. The boy climbed up the stairs, took the phone, then stepped back down. Holding the phone with both hands and raising it in front of his face, he walked a few steps closer to find the right distance.
Between Baek In-hyeok and Seon-jae, both wearing helts with their shields up, I sat there with a Santa-like white beard trailing down. It was an absurd setup for a photo, no matter who looked at it. But since the boy obediently followed Baek In-hyeok’s instructions and adjusted the angle, both Seon-jae and I ended up naturally facing his phone.
“Hey, what kind of photo is this even?”
Seon-jae said flatly, staring straight ahead.
“Who knows when we’ll ever be back at school together like this? Might as well take one for mory’s sake.”
“But why are we taking a commorative photo of the three of us?”
“Wanna make it four? Include that kid?”
When Baek In-hyeok teased, Seon-jae quickly turned to him. As they bickered face-to-face, click, the shutter sound went off.
“Huh?”
Startled, Baek In-hyeok turned to look. The boy held out the phone like he’d taken the shot.
“Ah, no, that’s not it. Just one more ti, please!”
The boy pouted but readjusted the phone in his hands.
“I’ll take it.”
We straightened our postures and stared ahead. The boy began to count—one, two—and before he could say three, bonk, Seon-jae’s helt gently bumped against my head. Click. The sound of the shutter went off again, and the boy handed back the phone with a grumpy face. Baek In-hyeok got up and ca down the steps to take the phone.
After fiddling with the screen to check the photo, he burst out laughing.
“Ah man, this is way too good to keep to myself.”
“Why? Did it co out well?”
“You think it did?”
Just as he was about to shove the phone back in his pocket, Baek In-hyeok hesitated. Turning to face us again, he adjusted his grip on the phone, pointing it—sohow it felt like—right at Seon-jae and .
“What’s that?”
I asked, and he waved a hand.
“Get closer.”
“Us?”
“Yeah, you two.”
Seon-jae scooted right up to , our legs touching.
“You’re gonna take a picture of us?”
“Can’t you tell?”
“Hey, you don’t have to take it.”
Seon-jae said, taking off his helt. He smoothed his hair, then placed a hand on my shoulder.
“Seriously, it’s fine.”
Then he leaned in and pressed his cheek to mine, taking a few strands of my fake beard and placing them on his upper lip like a mustache. I turned my eyes to him—his face right next to mine—and just then the shutter went off. My eyes imdiately snapped to Baek In-hyeok.
“Wait, what? You took it?”
“Yeah. Ryu Seon-jae asked to.”
Looking slightly embarrassed, Seon-jae put down the beard and straightened it out.
“We don’t have a single photo of just the two of us.”
I burst into laughter at his bashful face. The puff of air from my laugh made the beard flutter.
□ ■ □
Baek In-hyeok slumped his shoulders and turned around with a pitiful look. I watched his back as he trudged across the field and shouted, “In-hyeok, take care! Let’s hang out again!” I imdiately panicked—maybe I’d called him too familiarly—but Baek In-hyeok looked back briefly and waved his hand high.
“I’ll make a group chat and send you the photos!” he yelled.
Seon-jae, hands stuffed in his pockets, looked at and then at Baek In-hyeok with a blank expression. The loud hmph he made was kind of cute.
Seon-jae and I walked hand in hand down the hallway. The halls were empty and quiet. Our steps ca to a stop in front of the music room. The front and back doors were both locked.
“Do you think it still opens?”
As if he’d done it many tis before, Seon-jae jiggled the rattling window and pushed it. It slid open easily. He held the window and looked back at with a face that said, See? It opened.
We sat together in the music room and chatted quietly. The sun gradually dipped behind the building, painting the sky in sunset hues that shifted to violet. Then, dim moonlight filtered through the large window. No stars were visible—just a dusky sky. The empty school was quiet. It felt like if I shouted, the echo would bounce off so faraway corner of the building.
Seon-jae leaned on the window ledge, gazing down at the school grounds. I sat on the piano bench, looking at Seon-jae bathed in moonlight. The light highlighted his face. His bangs, now a bit longer, brushed against his lashes. I saw a smile slowly spread across his face, like so warm thought had crossed his mind. A deep dimple appeared on one cheek.
“What are you thinking about that you’re suddenly smiling like that?”
“Hm?”
Still smiling, Seon-jae let out a soft “ah” and stepped away from the window ledge, walking slowly toward .
“I was thinking about you.”
Even though we were in the sa place, he said he was thinking of . It was such a ticklish thing to say I shrugged my shoulders in embarrassnt.
“When I used to skip self-study, I’d co here with In-hyeok sotis. He’d play the piano, and I’d just listen. When I leaned there and looked out, I could see the auditorium and the cafeteria in one view—and every ti, I thought of you.”
Stopping just in front of , he gently patted my head.
“Looking back now... I think all I did was think of you.”
You only thought of ... Is that a confession, too? I wanted to smile brightly, sweetly—but my mouth just dropped open. I couldn’t hide the happiness.
Ryu Seon-jae, why are you so bad at hiding your feelings? I pressed my lips together, blaming him unnecessarily.
He sat down with his legs apart in the remaining space on the piano bench. Propping his chin on his arm over the piano lid, he stared at .
“You were just thinking, How can he say stuff like that so easily?, right?”
“Whoa, psychic...”
I widened my eyes like I was scared, and Seon-jae let out a small laugh.
“You know that feeling where you’re so nervous it makes your teeth ache? Like your heart’s about to explode and your whole body’s trembling.”
I tilted my head slightly, eyes rolling as I tried to think. When I was with Seon-jae, my heart always raced. Sotis it pounded so hard from his sudden confessions or kisses that I thought it might tear apart. It beat like a drum, or sent shivering jolts through . Was that what he ant?
Still holding eye contact, Seon-jae spoke again.
“That’s how I feel when I think of you.”
“...Huh?”
“When I think about you, I get so nervous I feel like I’m going to die. Like I’m going to lose my mind.”
I placed my hands on my knees and just blinked. But unlike his words, Seon-jae’s expression looked completely calm and relaxed. He even seed a little sleepy. Not a trace of nervousness to be found. I almost didn’t believe him—but swallowed the doubt.
“You don’t believe . But I an it.”
Can he read my mind or sothing? I hadn’t said a word, but every line from Seon-jae’s mouth matched my thoughts exactly. Was he hosting a shaman or sothing?
I rested my arm on the piano lid and propped up my chin, mirroring him.
“I believe you. Why wouldn’t I?”
“How long are you going to believe ?”
“Mm... until we’re seventy?”
“So we’re dating until seventy?”
It was such a far-off age I let out a silly laugh. Seon-jae leaned his chin on his left hand, and I did mine on my right. Our tilted heads mirrored each other, and soft laughter floated between them.
“Sol.”
“Yeah?”
“The in the future is still going to love you.”
“....”
“Just like you did.”
Seon-jae lowered his arm and pressed his cheek to the piano lid. Then he took my hand resting on my knee and started fiddling with it. His fingers gently traced each knuckle.
“It’s you. Always you.”
His gaze, previously lowered, slowly lifted and locked with mine. The moonlight tilted—and as if pulled down by that weight, his head gently lowered. His lips t mine, and I held my breath.
After a few seconds, he pulled back, then brought his hand to the nape of my neck and tugged in again. Our lips t once more. He bit down softly. As our mouths overlapped, his lips grew wet. Then he parted them slightly, slipped his tongue between mine, and entered. His warm breath brushed against . My shoulders jumped from the sensation of his tongue intertwining deeply with mine. Seon-jae cradled my head and gently stroked it. I curled my tongue around his, drawing it in.
After a long while, we parted and made eye contact. Seon-jae, still leaning against the piano, sat up straight. His gaze t mine again. He brushed back my ssy hair and said what he had started to say before the kiss.
“No matter what we were like before you ti-traveled—”
I stared at his face. # Nоvеlight # His lips were beautiful as he spoke.
“We would’ve t anyway.”
He rubbed his eyebrow, then propped up his chin again and leaned close, as if to et my eyes and say, Right?
In the world before I picked up the pocket watch, there was no Seon-jae. I had to feel that absence through articles. Through tiny words, through photos, through comnts. It was a vague kind of emotion. Not just “missing”—it was “never there.” An emptiness more profound.
Watching Seon-jae say that we would have t anyway in such a world made my nose sting. A wave of emotion rose up from sowhere deep inside .
My lips trembled, my brow furrowed.
“...Are you crying?”
I pulled my face away and shook my head. “No, I’m not.” But my voice cracked in the most pathetic way. I lowered my head and rubbed my thumbnail. Pressing my thumbs down, I tried to swallow the tears, but the corners of my eyes grew hot.
“Hey, why are you crying? Don’t cry.”
Seon-jae opened his arms and hugged tightly. My scrunched-up face buried into his chest. I always believed that when soone says don’t cry, they’re really casting a spell that makes you cry harder. The tears surged, and eventually burst.
“Ugh, hngh—”
As I sobbed out loud, Seon-jae gently patted my back. I kept going, “Ugh, hngh,” unable to stop. I soaked his clothes with my tears. His slow, steady hand on my back trembled now and then, and I wondered if he was crying too. I pulled my head back and looked up at him.
But Seon-jae was smiling. Our eyes t—his filled with laughter.
“Why... are you laughing?”
I gasped the words out between sobs. Then he laughed even harder, showing teeth.
“What the hell. Why are you laughing?”
“You’re cute.”
“This... this is cute?”
“Yeah.”
Seon-jae gently rubbed my cheek and wiped my tears.
“You’re so cute I could die.”
I was crying and he called cute. I wiped my tear-streaked face with the back of my hand. My brows were still furrowed from crying.
“You’re so cute, I wish no one else could see you.”
As I scrubbed my eyes and then looked at him, I wondered if he really ant that. But it looked like he did.
Ryu Seon-jae really is... kind of a bold type, huh? I pouted slightly. When our eyes t, Seon-jae smiled again, silently.
That smile was so pure, it seed to seep into . Into the moonlight that slipped in, into the breath brushing gently against , into the warmth that softly spread with love.
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