There was this unendurable burning feeling in my heart when I was carried into Vdce's tent whilst I was fighting for my life that I shall never forget, an unpleasant stabbing sensation within bound when I drowsily beheld the grief-stricken face of my male which was illuminated to by the moon that seed to mourn with him for later on that dreadful night her light had dimd and the glistening stars hid to Phobos's distress and his neverending howls of agony as though he was the one who was wounded.
Despite the pain of my flesh all I kept crying out was his na begging the leader of females to bring him inside, for I was terrified it would be the last I would be able to see him for a while. My soul never ceased summoning my mate even when she uncovered my bruised neck and prepared it for healing.
And when she squeezed a peculiar fluid-filled moulded ball of herbs right over my gaping flesh my body sprung forward and an ear-splitting screech tore out my throat for I had never once felt such intense pain before.
Each ti I cried out sobbing aloud he scread with for every bit of my misery he felt it too and was living through it all. And throughout my treatnt I thought that it was rely a sense of panic that defeated in that situation and that he wouldn't leave my side for we had overco nurous tests and tribulations to get we were that mont, I thought he would fight for us in a way.
But his need to protect always ca first and soared above his desire for anything else, even the eternal love we held for the other for after that night my male had vanished. When I had awoken the next day, Vdce stood by my side and unhappily inford he was nowhere to be found and I distinctly heard the very first crack of the outer shell of my heart to her truth.
I once more wept sorrowfully for we were torn apart again and my soul couldn't handle it. I couldn't handle being alone without him anymore I had gotten so used to his electrifying warmth that my flesh froze instantly without his heat.
For several nights I dreamt he returned ho to , laid beside on our bed calling my na in that delicate voice he owns ant only for my ears. But it never did happen and I got desperate with each fleeting day, fury rose from my inner depths at my male to the decision he took without paying heed to my wishes. I understood the reasons behind his antics but I couldn't fathom how he would leave without even a single word of farewell.
Moreover, I was consud by anxiety as I could neither speak nor walk for a whole month. My neck was regularly bandaged and I was bedridden. My pain escalated with each day as my moon blessed wasn't beside to aid in my healing process and my wolf caged herself not wishing to co out either. I felt rcilessly abandoned just like when I was eighteen and it agitated even more. But from that tiny seed of anxiety grew raw fear...fear that he will never return to .
During that one month Moira took good care of she grew to be the support I terribly needed during those frightful tis. She fed , changed and even cleaned after . Yes, it would have been embarrassing if Phobos was the one doing all that instead but I still hopelessly yearned for him. If he simply stayed by my side and spoke to that would have been more than enough for to recuperate but the lack of his presence rely brought forth heartache to accompany my physical suffering.
In the last two weeks, my throat has fully healed and the bandages were finally removed. I have regained my strength and was gifted with no more nightly visits to Vdce's hut for dication. I feel relieved for all is back to normal, all except having Phobos with .
"Krlovna." Drakho's faint voice beckons and I turn my gaze from the calm waters towards him. "I noticed you did not eat lunch so I brought it to you." He utters while showing a full plate containing fresh bread and chess with thinly cut slices of dried at.
"Do you think he has eaten?" I ask coolly studying the pine trees on the opposite side of the river that seems to be concealing sothing.
"Whom?"
"My male."
"Of course he has. Alpha Phobos never misses a al, Luna." I beam at his blunt words. Indeed my male treasures food so much, he loves to eat and has a big belly unlike any other.
I wonder if he misses my cooking rather I am sure he does for I rember on the days we bickered he would find our pack's food laid at our table instead of my ho-cooked als. He would make feel guilty for not cooking for him for his shoulders would visibly sag and the tips of his lips would dip downwards revealing to his displeasure. The beast would appear like a pup to during those tis.
"Where is he now, Drakho?"
"Luna I have ntioned it to you several tis-"
"I know but just tell it to again, I wish to hear it. That way it would keep my heart still for a little while longer."
"Krl took one of our trucks and went to sojourn in a nearby pack. I am unsure when he shall return for he did not inform before he left." He repeats the sa words he has told countless tis before but my heart continues to clench achingly, his truth does not pacify at all not even a little. There is no uncertainty of his location and for that I am grateful but what is unknown is our future.
I know Phobos, if he found sothing to be right from his point of view he shall never waver and set the path straight on our behalf. The thing with that dull-witted beast is that he never tries to think from my perspective of any situation. Most of the ti I hold certain solutions that would suppress our problems but he never chooses to discuss them with , his answer is the final word. Stupid Alpha male!
"And this pack, you cannot take there yes?"
"I cannot, Luna. It is too far from here and Alpha's orders are to keep you here on our lands for he knew you would attempt to run after him." Drakho is lying, I had known it all along. Phobos will never choose to leave his pack vulnerable without his protection, he must be sowhere close. But his headstrong Beta will not bend to my masked interrogation.
"He is such a foolish male. Is he not, Drakho?" I whisper as his eyes broaden imperceptibly to my question.
"I cannot answer that I do not wish to be beheaded." He utters with a low bow as I giggle at his words. Only I possess the courage to call Phobos this way, I am the only wolf he allows to call him such nas.
"Do you know how long he has been gone for? 1 month and three weeks. 51 days to be exact, Drakho. And do you know what scares the most? That male has put up a barrier around his mind and soul and I...I cannot feel him."
"He is doing this for your safety, Luna."
I rise to stand on my feet whilst briskly turning to the side to et his serene eyes, my annoyance to the words 'my safety' surging. "I am fine, Drakho. I am breathing and well."
"Yes but Alpha needs to get his beast under control, you mustn't be hard again. He has lived all these years solely to protect you and I hope you can be patient with him."
"You see that is what I lack. I used to be very patient, when I turned eighteen I waited for that male to co and claim but over the years I have lost every bit of it. I have matured on your lands and I will not simply sit here like a damsel in distress waiting for him. It is my turn to go fetch my male, Drakho." I utter whirling around to grasp the plate from his hands and march back from the river bed towards the pack grounds.
"How will you do so, Luna? You do not know anything about his location or how to get there."
"As for where he is I will solve it soon, I am close to obtaining my answer. And I will get there with one of our trucks it is quite simple." I reply while casually shoving a small strip of at into my mouth.
"You cannot drive, Krlovna. You would not know the way either." He stomps after striving to suspend my plans.
"It does not matter. I will run there if I have to."
"Luna please." He pleads with . This has been an occasional discussion between us that would take place at least once a week where I would say I am going to flee in the middle of the night to search for Phobos and he would beg not to. On the days we have this conversation Drakho would sleep outside my cabin door keeping a lookout in case I chose to go forward with my plan.
"What choice do I have? He has left with no options. I miss him so much that I cannot sleep or eat well and I need to go visit my family in a week. I am not leaving without him."
"He will return by then." This male has been instructed to keep here at all costs and he is quite good with his words and manipulation but I am strong-minded to not fall for his tricks.
"We both know he will not."
"Then I will lock you up as per Alpha's ord-" Before he could finish his sentence I am swift to whirl around and bare my teeth to him resounding growls rumbling from deep within my chest condemning what he ant to say. "Luna." He bows with respect understanding my displeasure.
"This discussion is over. I will speak with you on this later on for I must aid the females in preparation for tonight's bonfire." The pack is holding a big bonfire at the heart of the ground in celebration of the nurous females who have gotten pregnant on our lands, it will be held tonight and they had been preparing for it all of last month.
"Luna." Moira smiles at in greeting and I receive her with a terse nod.. "You are right on ti, we were wondering which of your spices to use for the fish."
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