“I-I’m sorry...I’m so sorry...” I apologized imdiately when I snapped out of my own thoughts.
I bowed repeatedly as I continued to apologize for my mistakes. It wasn’t the first ti that my troubled thoughts had distracted from my dance lessons, but it made realize that the condition of my mind was getting worse. The fun and engaging dance lesson that I had with the Duchess Flavia may not be sufficient to keep my mind from thinking of the prince any longer.
“I don’t want you to apologize, I want you to focus. Let’s take a break. You should drink so water, co over here,” she said as she waved toward her.
“Thank you...” I thanked her to stop myself from apologizing again.
I felt so guilty about my attention straying right in the middle of class. The duchess had been nothing but kind and helpful to and that made feel disappointed in myself for treating her lesson like it wasn’t important. She led to a bench where we could sit to take our rest and drink water.
“You look a little tired. Have you been sleeping well?” she asked with her eyes on .
“Oh...umm...I find it a little hard to fall asleep,” I replied quite truthfully.
In fact, it was extrely hard for to fall asleep, and so nights, I doubt that I had any quality sleep at all. Most nights I would lie on my bed with my eyes closed as my mind thought about endless scenarios or possible reasons why Prince Leonard had not co to see . The prince also invited on a trip with him but since the days had gone by without hearing a word from him, I had started to wonder if the prince had gone on the trip alone without taking with him.
“I guess there’s sothing that’s keeping you from getting good sleep at night and from focusing on my lesson, is that right?” the duchess took a guess that was quite accurate.
“Well, sort of...” I replied vaguely.
“Tell about it, Mila. What’s bothering you?” she asked with intense interest.
“Well...” I murmured as I hesitated to tell her about my troubles.
I had never voiced my worries about the prince to anyone, not even my best friends. The matter felt so personal and close to my heart that I wasn’t comfortable talking about it to anyone. It didn’t help to know that telling people about it wouldn’t help the situation that I was in. The way the duchess was staring hard at my face made want to retreat deeper inside of myself and just hide away.
“If you’re not going to tell , should I take a wild guess?” she asked before giggling.
Every ti that she did that, the duchess appeared much younger, and it always made wonder just how old she really was. I admired how she always seed so bright, shining, and full of high spirits. It might have been because of her and her positive attitude rubbing off on that I had been able to go on for as long as I have.
“It’s nothing...I guess...” I mumbled softly as I kept my eyes down on my hands that were folded on my lap.
“It’s definitely not nothing if you’re making such a sad face like that. It looks like you’re about to burst into tears sotis...” the duchess said observantly before letting out a loud sigh.
I was speechless when I turned to face her. The look of pure sympathy that she had on her face made my chest tighten and I could feel myself feeling emotional as I wondered if that was really how I looked in her eyes. All this ti that I had been trying to focus on my lessons and trying to enjoy myself while dancing, were there tis that I looked like I was about to start crying?
“As your instructor and soone who has sowhat gone through what you are going through now, I really want to help you, Mila. If you’d just tell what is bothering you, I’m sure that I can help give you so advice. Of course, you’ll also feel better if you tell soone about it. It’ll be like getting a load off your chest if you can talk about it to ,” she said soothingly before she flashed a warm and understanding smile.
Now that she ntioned it, it was highly possible that the duchess had gone through sothing similar. Before giving birth to her the king’s son, she was probably living in the Sacred Chambers like I was, and she may have lived the sa or similar experiences that I have. It must have been a long ti ago since she gave birth to Prince Florian, and I wondered what her relationship with the king was like then and what it was like now that ti had passed.
“I’ve just been thinking about...how Prince Leonard has not visited since the night of the full moon...” I confessed softly.
The understanding look that the duchess had on her face did not waver and she did not look at all surprised. I figured imdiately that she must have thought that that was the case but just wanted to hear from . As for , I thought that if I confided in her, I might be able to learn a little more about her life and sothing that may help navigate my life a little better.
“It’s not unusual for the prince to be busy...at least, that is what you’ve been telling yourself, right?” she asked suggestively before nodding her head in understanding.
“Yes...” I replied softly because there was no point in denying it.
“I see. Let ask you a very direct question,” she said before smiling at for a mont.
I could feel my heartbeat quicken in my chest as I waited in anticipation for her question. The way she paused as she stared at in silence made feel that the question must be important in its own right.
--To be continued...
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