Lucas still calls every night, but Lisa had helped encourage to text him yesterday, asking for space, at least until he returns to Westwood.
I'm sure he gets hourly reports from all my guards, but at least I don't have to worry about playing nice when I'm starting to feel resentful and frustrated, despite knowing I should be grateful for being saved.
I'm grateful to him for a lot. Having guards around should be a small price for all of this. It's just hard.
"Welco ho!" Lisa exclaims as she flings open the door to her new apartnt.
When Lisa said that Lucas had settled her into an apartnt, I'd expected sothing… I don't know.
Normal?
This is far from normal.
The luxurious living room has been decorated in so sort of eclectic, artistic mix of boho wall decor and minimalist furniture, leaving bright, wide open spaces with bright splashes of color and texture on the walls. Floor-to-ceiling windows flood the space with natural light, frad by curtains I'm afraid to even touch. How can curtains look so expensive?
A sleek kitchen gleams in the corner, all stainless steel appliances and marble countertops, with white cabinets that are going to be a terrible experience to keep clean. It's like the entire apartnt was made with maid service in mind.
"Wow," I breathe, running my fingers along the back of the luxurious leather couch. "Lucas really went all out, didn't he?"
But they don't hear , because—well, they're still arguing.
Lisa's voice rises, competing with the clatter of her heels against the hardwood as she storms after Kellan. "We don't need a guard dog watching our every move in here. What, you think soone's going to scale fifteen stories and bust through the window?"
I tune out Kellan's gruff response, focusing instead on the sprawling cityscape beyond the glass. Skyscrapers pierce the sky, glinting in the afternoon sun. Cars crawl along the streets below, tiny and insignificant from this height. People crowd the streets.
It's busy.
It's a world away from Cedarwood. From the Novel Grind and its cozy charm. From the little apartnt I'd made my own.
From Selene.
My chest tightens at the thought of her. It's been so long since I've heard her voice in my head, felt her presence curled around my mind like a contented cat. I keep reaching for her, hoping to brush against the familiar warmth of her consciousness, but there's only silence. A void where she should be.
My wounds had healed at such a rate that I'd truly expected to hear Selene in my head any day now, assuming it was a side effect of our bond. I'd hoped it ant Selene was getting closer, that she'd found a way to reach despite the distance. But as the hours tick by with no sign of her, doubt begins to creep in, insidious and cold.
What if sothing happened to her? What if she's hurt, or worse? The thought makes my stomach twist, bile rising in my throat. I can't lose her. She's a part of now. Her absence leaves feeling only half myself.
I press my forehead against the cool glass, squeezing my eyes shut as if I can will her into existence through sheer desperation. Please, Selene, I beg silently. Please be okay. I need you.
But there's no answer, just the muted sounds of the city and Lisa's ongoing argunt with Kellan.
"—don't care if he's the alpha, Lucas doesn't get to dictate every aspect of our lives!" Lisa's voice cracks like a whip, jolting out of my spiraling thoughts. "Ava's been through enough. She deserves so goddamn privacy."
Kellan's sigh is heavy, weighted with the responsibility he carries. "Lisa, I understand your frustration. But Ava's safety is our top priority. We can't take any chances. Not all the Blackwoods are accounted for, and there's a good chance they'll be looking for her."
The ntion of my forr pack has shuddering. Thinking of Mom and Dad makes want to vomit, but it's the mories of Todd's attack that flash behind my eyelids. The phantom pain of his claws raking across my skin, the way his teeth dug into my neck and shoulders.
I never wanted to think about that odious little shit again, but his nightmares live in my head, rent-free.
Old taunts. So many tis he'd spent kicking when I was already curled up on the floor, hands over my head, waiting for the tornt of my pack mbers to end. Of the day I'd resolved to leave my pack. Of his nasty dick shoved into my mouth—
Shit. I work at my jaw, fighting against the wave of nausea. No, never again.
I'm not that scared, helpless girl anymore. I survived. I fought back. And I won't let anyone make feel powerless again, not even the man who claims to be my mate.
Kellan had ntioned that Lisa and I begin training tomorrow. Self-defense and more. I'm looking forward to it in a way that makes almost want to shy away from the newly bloodthirsty urge in my soul—the one that wants to slaughter anyone who looks at the wrong way.
Almost dying will change a lot of things, I guess.
Slowly, I turn from the window, my gaze settling on Lisa and Kellan as they face off in the middle of the living room. Lisa's cheeks are flushed, her eyes bright with indignation, while Kellan looks like he's aged a decade in the span of their conversation.
"I appreciate your concern," I say quietly, my voice steady despite the emotions churning in my gut. "But Lisa's right. I need space to breathe, Kellan. I can't live my life constantly looking over my shoulder."
Kellan's brow furrows, his mouth opening as if to argue, but I hold up a hand to stop him. "I'm not saying I don't want protection. I know the risks, and I'm grateful for everything you and Lucas have done to keep safe. But there has to be a balance. I can't heal if I'm suffocating under the weight of my own security detail."
Lisa nods emphatically, her hand coming to rest on my shoulder in a show of solidarity. "Exactly. We're not saying no guards at all. Just not in the apartnt. Give us so room to exist without being watched."
Kellan drags a hand down his face, his shoulders sagging in defeat. "Fine," he grumbles. "No guards inside the apartnt. But I'm posting them in the hallway and the lobby. And you're not to leave without an escort, understand?"
It's not perfect, but it's a start. A small victory in the battle for my autonomy. I nod, relief loosening the knot in my chest. "Understood. Thank you, Kellan."
He grunts in acknowledgnt, already turning to leave. "I'll be back in the morning. Get so rest, both of you."
And then he's gone, the door clicking shut behind him with a finality that feels strangely anticlimactic. Lisa lets out a whoosh of breath, her hand falling from my shoulder as she turns to face .
"Well, that was fun," she deadpans, a wry smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. "Nothing like a good old-fashioned pissing contest to welco you ho."
I snort, shaking my head. "Ho. Right." My gaze drifts back to the window, to the unfamiliar skyline and the aching absence of Selene's presence. "Feels more like just another prison."
It's unfair to feel that way. I know it is. But I feel like I haven't been able to breathe in forever.
Lisa's expression softens, her eyes shining with understanding. "I know, Ave. But at least you're out of that house, right? We'll make it work. It won't be so bad here. I can already tell."
She loops her arm through mine, tugging towards the kitchen. "Now co on, I'm starving. Let's see what kind of gourt shit Lucas stocked this place with."
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