VALORIA WILDEROSE
I am terrified at the idea of returning ho.
Azrael’s announcent about going back to my childhood ho of horrors and torture has left my mind on edge, replaying countless traumatizing scenes I thought I’d buried deep enough to never be affected by again.
I believed that since my rebirth, I wouldn’t be haunted by them—that I’d turned my life around and stopped being the sa dumb, timid Valoria who was terrified of her family.
But simply being given a second chance at life doesn’t an a dramatic transformation of will, as I had imagined.
My encounter with Alice was proof enough that I haven’t gotten rid of that sick habit of going mute and helpless under ridicule and pressure.
I haven’t changed. I haven’t improved enough to face them again.
I had hoped things would be different—that I would be a stronger version of myself when I returned ho.
But I’m still the sa coward they sent away as a sacrificial lamb weeks ago. Worse of all, I’m nowhere near ready to face my killer, whoever they are.
I can still taste the fear and devastation. I can still feel the painful pricks of the blade shoved relentlessly into my dying body.
Cold sweat drips down my spine just thinking about facing them without knowing who they are. I suspect one of my sisters, though I have no proof.
I haven’t allowed myself to think about it—it only brings nightmares. I pushed it aside to focus on my mission, thinking I’d have completed it by now. That was a big mistake.
The world spins around as I struggle to breathe, fighting not to panic or break down. Not to fall apart in front of everyone—not again.
But the more I fight, the deeper I sink into this quicksand of anxiety that already has captive.
"Earth to Valoria?!" Elodie half-yells in my face, snapping her fingers close just to get my attention again.
I’m jolted back into the present after zoning out for the umpteenth ti today—standing just outside the castle with a single piece of luggage in my hand.
I suck in a sharp breath, realizing I’d forgotten to breathe for several seconds. I gasp, piecing my mory back together as I stare at the familiar faces before , watching with concern.
Yara, Elodie, and Calliope.
That’s right. I was about to leave for ho before they stopped to talk about sothing I wasn’t even paying attention to. I couldn’t focus—I was too busy trying not to let my fear show.
Two out of three faces watch closely, confusion in their eyes.
"S-sorry, wh-what were y-you saying?" I mumble under my breath, rubbing my temples against the throbbing headache now plaguing .
Just yesterday, I was ordered to prepare—with barely enough ti for it. Another one of Azrael’s cruel ways to tornt .
Only this ti, without realizing it, he’s done it perfectly. Nothing could be more cruel than sending back there.
"I was saying, you have no idea what I’d give to be in your position right now. I’d give an arm and a leg for a break from the walls of this dreadful castle," Elodie drawls with dissatisfaction, folding her arms under her flat chest.
I offer a small smile, hiding the fact that I’d give the sa—and more—not to have to leave. Especially with how close I am to a breakthrough in my search for the dagger.
"Maybe I can sneak into the trunk of the car and co with."
"It’s because of you that they do car inspections for every vehicle that leaves the palace now," Yara grunts, giving her a warning glare that dares her to try it.
Elodie groans in defeat, giving up her ridiculous plan prematurely.
"We prepared sothing for you, Valoria," Calliope says, pulling out a wrapped box and lifting it to eye level. I hadn’t even noticed it before, too lost in my thoughts and anxiety.
"It’s a phone," she explains with a small chuckle at my dumbfounded reaction when I see what it is.
An actual phone.
I reach out slowly, holding the box like it might shatter at any second, still speechless and confused.
"I noticed you don’t really carry one around, so I thought maybe you don’t use them for so reason. I know it’s a little forward of , but I want you to use this one and text us—about anything. Your morning, your day... anything at all."
Moisture gathers in my eyes against my will, pooling and threatening to spill before I bite my lip and blink them away.
"Yo-you sh-shouldn’t have..." I croak, voice breaking.
I didn’t have a phone because I was never given one—and never had a reason to call or text anyone, because who would bother picking up? I was lonely.
But not anymore...
"Are you... mad?" she asks cautiously.
"N-No! I love it," I admit with too much excitent.
Her smile returns.
"I put our numbers on it for you already. You’re welco," Elodie blurts out with a prideful grin and squared shoulders that force a laugh out of before I can stop myself.
"Thank you so much."
Calliope throws her arms around first, enveloping in a hug before I can even figure out what to do with myself. Elodie follows imdiately, trapping in an unimaginable warmth I’ve never felt before. It’s new, refreshing, addictive—calming every bit of the anxiety I was trembling with seconds ago.
I reciprocate and hum softly with satisfaction.
"Yara... get in here," Elodie calls out, peeking at Yara, who’s watching from the corner with little interest.
She sighs, her shoulders slumping before she reluctantly steps forward and adds herself to the group hug—barely, but it’s enough.
I don’t mind at all. It’s still warm. Still so perfect.
Sothing akin to joy flutters in my heart for a fleeting mont. That’s how long it’s allowed to exist inside before soone clears their throat behind us.
We pull apart instantly and turn toward Azrael, who towers over us, as devilishly handso as ever. More so now, with his hair slicked back, save for a few stubborn strands that fall forward.
Dressed in business casual, as always, with half his bare chest in view, and those perfect sapphire eyes that sparkle too beautifully for soone so monstrous.
Just like that, the spell is gone. We all tense up.
The girls bow before I can.
"We greet His Royal Majesty," we chorus hastily.
"Enough with the goodbyes. It’s ti to leave, Valoria."
He ignores everything else, his gaze cutting straight into like the villain he is.
I swallow hard, feeling that sa dread surfacing again just when I’d managed to calm down.
It worsens the second his hand falls on my lower back, filling with even more repulsion and hate.
The girls mumble their goodbyes and leave. Without even trying, he’s ruined our perfect mont simply by existing near .
"Isn’t that adorable? My little pet is making friends," he leans in to whisper the mont they’re far enough, his tone mocking and venomous.
I keep my face still, holding my breath until it passes—until he gets bored of today’s taunt and lets go. But instead, his grip tightens.
Suddenly, his hold on is firr, sending chills down my spine and stirring that all-too-familiar fear.
"Don’t get too close," he continues, voice low and dark. "We wouldn’t want your precious friends to be sad when you’re gone in a few weeks."
His hot breath fans against my ear, his lips just grazing my skin—sending sharp, unwanted sparks through my body.
"I don’t want to have to kill anyone else because they’re being a nuisance."
Not if I can help it.
He wants to never stop fearing him, despite my hatred. And I hate that it’s working.
I pull away, breaking free from his hold.
Instead of reacting or feeding his psychotic need to see tremble, I walk straight to the waiting car, luggage in hand, and step inside.
I pat my chest lightly, feeling my racing heart and silently comnding myself for holding it together today.
I’m getting better at handling Azrael. But he won’t be my biggest worry for the next week.
Minutes pass before Azrael finally joins , stepping into the car and sitting beside at the back. I stiffen again, expecting his anger—rage, taunts, sothing cruel. I brace myself for his usual temperant.
I can feel his gaze unraveling without even looking. My hands clench into fists until, finally, he looks away. Only then do I allow myself to breathe again.
I’m grateful he doesn’t say anything else or attempt to close the wide space between us.
Hopefully, we can maintain that distance until the end of this trip.
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