The tears gathered in my eyes temporary blinded my vision as I stumbled outside of the dressing room. I ignored the people who were busy calling my na as I ran out the hallway. My clothes suddenly feels too hot ache in my chest seed to be growing bigger by the minute.
I couldn’t breathe. Oh gods, I can’t breathe!
The walls seed to be closing around as I walked. I tried to suck in air but every attempt I made burned. My heart was beating violently and I could hear the sound in my ears, it was so loud it drowned out everything else.
Celeste’s word continued to play in my mind repeatedly. Everything she was saying was the truth even though that would be the first ti she’s ever spoke the truth in her life. My friend’s faces also confird it, that it was the truth, even though I didn’t want to believe it.
I think deep down I’ve always known the kind Reagan’s motive for getting married to . I knew it wasn’t just political, I always suspected there was sothing else but I never thought that it would be sothing so great.
Gods, no wonder they hated . It was justified because I would have hated too. My heart ached for Reagan’s father who blindly trusted who he thought was a friend. My heart ached for the pain Marina had to endure. I can’t imagine fleeing the kingdom after child birth after learning the news if your husband death. My heart ached for Adrianna and Miguel who had to grow up without a dad. My heart also ached for Reagan, the little boy who had to turn a blind eye to the horror he witnessed just so his family could be saved, the man who had to beco a killing machine just so he could get his revenge.
And lastly my heart ached for , the woman he chose to marry.
It hadn’t been because of love nor duty. He has married because I conveniently fit into his plan, the final move on a board that had been laid out before I stepped into it.
That’s all I’ve ever been, a pawn to n.
It wasn’t fair and yet I couldn’t bring it in to call him cruel. I would have done the sa thing. Every choice he had ever made was born out of survival and a desperate need to protect the people he had left.
I was nothing more than a collateral.
Tears continued to steam down my face as I continued to sluggishly make my way around the manor. I moved wordlessly, without any thoughts, not seeing anything. And I didn’t know when I found myself outside until soone suddenly taps by my shoulder.
I turned, my chest coming in contact with a leather vest and that was all I could see until whoever it was leaned down and Branderson’s face ca into view.
"Dahlia?" He breathes, eyes wide with disbelief.
My lips part as I stared at Branderson, bottom lip trembling.
Branderson’s eyes widened as he stared at , eyes filled with concern. "Dahlia what’s wrong?"
"It’s all I lie." I whispered, the tears still flowing down my cheeks.
Branders’s brow knitted as he stared at , trying to understand what I ant. "Dahlia, just calm down a bit and talk to ."
"It’s all a lie Branderson, everything’s a lie."
When Branderson saw that I wasn’t going to be saying anything more than that he exhaled slowly. His eyes searching behind as if he could locate the source of the pain I couldn’t voice out. He must have seen sothing behind because his eyes were filled with relief next.
"Oh, there’s Reagan, want to_"
Before he could say anymore, I grabbed him by his shirt. "Get out of here."
"Dahlia, what are you_"
"Please, I can’t be here."
Branderson looked conflicted now, his jaw tightening as his eyes darted between and the direction Reagan was coming from. My hand gripped his shirt tighter and he looked down to stare at , as if silently begging with not to do this to him.
"Dahlia, I_"
"Please Branderson. I can’t be here." My voice cracked, desperate. "I don’t want him to see like this. I don’t want to see him."
Because I wasn’t sure if I would be able to hold myself together if I see him staring at . I wasn’t sure I could take any more of the lies. For a mont all Branderson did was stare at but I saw the mont he made the decision. He grabbed by my waist and hauled on his horse.
"I’ll be right behind you, go!" He gave the horse a smack and it lurched forward.
People desperately moved out of the way as I raced towards the manor’s gate. Behind I could hear Reagan calling for but I didn’t stop, I focused on staring at the gate, urging my horse to move faster before Reagan can think of chasing after .
I just crossed the gate when I heard Branderson’s horse behind . Relief flooded as I stared at Branderson, yelling command at his horse and together we rode outside the manor grounds.
I allowed Branderson to take the lead because I couldn’t think of anything right now. But he seed to know his way because we arrived at a clearing in front of a huge river. I pulled my horse to a stop before I got down. My feet carried towards the edge of the river and I sat down there on the grass, simply staring at the water.
I could feel Branderson’s gaze burning a hole at the back of my head but at the sa ti, he kept quiet. I was grateful for his silence and so there I sat, till the sun slowly went back to hiding behind cloudy grey skies.
"Dahlia, it’s getting late."
I humd then turned to look at Branderson who was looking at still worried. I now noticed that he was wearing his uniform. On getting back, he asked Reagan to make him a guard. Not one of the nobles but an actual guard because he wanted to stay right next to .
He was afraid I would be starting trouble again, his words not mine.
"I suppose." I respond still not looking away from the water.
"We should get back."
"We should." I respond still staring at the water. "Where do you suppose it leads?"
"What leads?"
"The river."
"I don’t know much about Iravia, but I suppose probably to the southern sea." Branderson answered, his voice low.
"The sea." I said with a small smile on my lips. "Strange how I’m beginning to miss it a whole lot. Those monts when we were on the boat, I think it’s the happiest I’ve ever been."
I heard Branderson shift on his feet as he stared at . "Yeah, I was happy too but the sea doesn’t have the most important thing. It doesn’t have family."
I snorted in response. "Family? I don’t think I ever had that."
"That’s not true. You have a sister, a brother who risked everything to co for you. You have a beautiful son and also a loyal husband."
Husband? My eyes watered at just hearing those words but I pushed the tears back down. I was done crying. It was ti for to head back and face my reality. I stood up from the ground and turned to look at Branderson who was busy holding the horse reins.
"I better head back." I said and I watched Branderson’s face crumple in relief.
He steadied the horse for as I got on, before he mounted his. Together we rode back to the manor in comfortable silence. Throughout the entire ride I kept thinking of one thing only and that was to leave. The lies, the secrets, they will never end, not here.
Which ans I have to go and end it first.
The manor lood into view, its stone walls washed in the last rays of daylight. I stared at it with a strange hollowness in my chest and as I rode inside the gate, I t Reagan standing right outside along with Killian and Nikolai.
My friends were also with him, looking guilty as they stood behind Regan.
The stable hand walked towards as I dismounted and I handed him the reins which he accepted. I turned to look at Branderson with a wry smile on my face.
"Thank you." I say, though I am not quite sure if I was thanking him for the ride or for not pressing further into the cracks of my heart.
"Of course." Branderson replied then bowed his head at Reagan before he disappeared off to his quarters but I don’t miss the not so subtle exchange he did with his eyes.
I turned to look at Reagan who had his jaw clenched tightly, no doubt demanding an explanation. Too bad, he wasn’t going to be getting any from . I made a move to enter, brushing past him but before I could enter.
He clamped a hand on my wrist. His grip firm as he stared down at . "And where have you been?"
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