So far so good, I was doing a good job of hiding away from Reagan. The first few days I made Heather lie to him that I was sick and then the other day the baby inside of was starting to make irritable so I wanted to be alone for a few days. Each day, I ca up with bunch of silly excuses and hide out inside my room and it was a good thing I decided to move into a house of my own because hiding from Reagan would have been a good thing. And yes, I have admitted to hiding from him, avoiding him like one would the plague.
At first after the first week, I thought Reagan would co storming into my house, demanding that I face him and that he wouldn’t leave until I told him the reason for my actions but surprisingly Reagan did none of that. Instead, he sent tray of food every day, every al carefully prepared with things he knew I liked. Sweet cakes drizzled with honey, banana bread and warm broth when the mornings got cold and fresh fruits with milk. Every little detail was thoughtful, too thoughtful and it just made feel guilty.
At first, I ignored them because of the guilt I felt inside but the feeling of hunger triumphed that of my guilt and so I ate everything while hiding out in my bedroom with nothing but my night dress and a blanket over my head.
Heather ca inside my bedroom as I drank the broth Reagan had sent for . "He still cares you know." She said as she lowered herself to the seat on my dressing table.
I swallowed while taking another spoonful of my broth. "Yeah I know that and which is why I feel like shit, but for so reason I can’t stop eating."
"You know you do not have to feel guilty." Heather stated, "It wasn’t your fault."
I snorted in response as I stared at her, "Are you going to tell sothing along the lines of how my father’s sin, isn’t my own because if it’s that I know that. It isn’t mine but if I accepted Reagan’s proposal, everything that he will do will be in my na and there’s no telling what he is going to ask Reagan to do. So I won’t allow it, it’s safer this way trust ."
"And what’s going to be your excuse by the end of the day?" Heather asked .
Reaching for a cup of water, I shrugged at her in response. "I don’t know, I’ll co up with sothing."
"Co on, you can’t keep lying to him." Heather stated as she folded her arms across her chest while giving a pointed look.
"I will continue to if it keeps him safe from my father." I told her, "Now I may not be able to write my father’s wrong in the past, but I sure as hell can stop him from causing any more harm!"
"Even if it ends up hurting you in the process?"
"Better than him!" I said and I ant it.
Heather stared at with a look of pity on her face. "Co on, you don’t an that."
"Well except I do Heather!" I yelled at her startling her, "I do an it, I would rather my father hurts than use to hurt anyone ever again."
Heather’s brows raised up but only ever so slightly as a look of realization dawned on her face. "You love him." She said, a statent, not as a question,
I blinked before I looked away and turned to look away from her. "It doesn’t matter."
"Of course it does my lady!" Heather countered and I was starting to get frustrated.
"No Heather, it does not!" I snapped at her while whirling to face her. "Love doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t change the fact that my father will do anything to control , I am just a pawn on his board and my love doesn’t an anything because as long as Reagan is tied to , he won’t be safe!"
Heather stubborn as ever shook her head at . "But what about sire’s choice? You are deciding for him the sa way your father decides for you!"
That hit like a blade to the ribs but I still stood by what I said, I was going to protect Reagan the only way I knew how to. Heather stared at looking like she wanted to say more but we suddenly got interrupted by a knock on the door.
Eyes widening in fear, I turned to look at Heather who stared back at with the sa widened eyes. She stood up and imdiately rushed downstairs. I stood up and quietly crept down the hallway, laying down low on the stairs so I could hear what’s happening.
"My lord, I’m afraid my lady isn’t feeling quite well today again my lord." Heather lied through her teeth, her voice calm and steady despite the tension in the air.
A heavy silence followed afterwards and I could feel it, Reagan wasn’t convinced! But still, I strained my ears, trying to listen to what he was going to be saying next.
"Heather!" Reagan finally spoke, his voice calm and resigned, "She’s been unwell for quite so ti now. Enough with the lies."
I held my breath as I pressed myself lower against the stairs.
"That’s just preposterous my lord, I would never lie to you, my lord!" Heather insisted, "My lady is truly..."
"It’s okay Heather." Reagan interrupted, "I already know."
That made my heart skip a beat as I raised myself a little to stare up at the door.
"I know you can hear Dahlia!" Reagan suddenly spoke.
Well shit! I thought to myself as I went back down to the ground but accidently hit my leg on the wooden railing. Fuck! I thought to myself as I sucked in a breath just as a sharp thud echoed through the hallway.
Fuck! I ntally cursed again just as Heather groaned loudly, clearly exasperated.
"Dahlia, I know you can hear and I won’t ask you to see ." Heather suddenly spoke and I looked up from where I was busy rubbing my knee which I had bumped hard, "I understand, it was my fault, I should have known you wouldn’t trust easily and I took things too far with the whole grand gesture. I lost my mind for a mont, okay? I just got too excited!" Reagan continued to speak.
"Oh Reagan." I whispered as tears gathered at my eyes, "It isn’t your fault."
Reagan continued because he couldn’t hear from where I hid like a coward. "I’m sorry Dahlia for everything. I know an apology isn’t enough to erase the hurts I caused you. It doesn’t matter how much I beg you but I want you to know I will spend the rest of my life trying to atone for it." Reagan said pausing to take a breath. "I never ant to push you away, you know? It was just so hard for and there are things that you don’t know and when you first arrived, you just looked so pure and innocent at first I thought it was all rouse to get to love you but then when I saw genuine you were, I realized I was fucked!" He said with a small laugh.
Sothing in my chest tightened at the raw honesty that made the tears that had gathered at my eyes slowly roll down my cheeks. Reagan was never one for long heartfelt speeches, the only ti he had down that was at the dinner party and I had humiliated him. Now, he was doing the sa thing and I was busy hiding like a coward!
"I thought if I could...if I could show you how much you ant to , a grand gesture of so sort and just show you that I wasn’t choosing you out of duty, that maybe, just maybe you would believe . But now I can see that I rushed you, I put you in a place where you felt the only choice you had was to hide from and for that I’m sorry."
"Reagan, please..." I sobbed quietly on the stair case where I was listening to my husband as guilt slowly gnawed at my insides.
"I won’t force you to see Dahlia, but I want you to know this." Reagan continued, "I love you Dahlia and I don’t care how long it takes but I’ll wait for you!"
Gods, why is this happening! I thought to myself as I sobbed even loudly now.
"Okay, I just ca to tell you that and I will see you whenever you are ready, I love you!" Reagan finished and I was still sobbing when I heard the door slam.
Sniffing, I stood up wide eyed as I raced down the stairs only to et Heather staring at with a look of pity on her face. "He’s gone now my lady, out to a neighboring kingdom and won’t be back for a week!"
"He’s gone?" I repeated my voice broken.
"I’m so sorry my lady!" Heather stated but it didn’t matter because now I was too late.
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