The morning began, as most mornings in Rei’s life now did, with a system notification that should’ve been accompanied by ominous chanting and a blood-red sky.
[System Mission Activated: (Survive Mandatory Romance Scheduling Simulation)]
[Objective: Create a fair, balanced weekly romantic calendar with all five yandere fiancées.]
[Failure Condition: Causing emotional distress. Estimated risk: 5000%]
[Reward: One (1) nap.]
Rei blinked at the glowing ssage hovering above his face. He hadn’t even opened his eyes yet.
"...I miss Mondays where the worst thing I had to worry about was traffic."
A second ssage appeared.
[System Sarcasm Protocol Engaged]
[You’re in a dungeon dinsion with five possessive superpowered wives-to-be. You ARE traffic.]
"Welco to the Scheduling Summit of Love!" Eris declared, appearing in a flash of sparkles, confetti, and questionable fashion choices. Today, she wore a business suit made entirely of glitter and passive-aggressive energy.
"Today’s mission is simple: romance without homicide. I believe in you all~" she lied.
Rei sat at the roundtable, flanked on either side by doom incarnate—Drakana was sharpening her date ideas on her scales like a knife, Seraphina had brought her royal calendar scroll with "REI DAY" stamped on half the year, and Lilia was scribbling "Lilia & Rei 4EVER" into the margins of the agenda sheet with unnerving speed.
Lucivella had conjured a floating clipboard of demonic ti slots arranged by planetary alignnt. Rosette silently placed a small bell beside her with the label "My Turn."
"I believe in democracy," Seraphina said sweetly, "as long as I win."
"Shall we begin?" Rei said weakly, trying to sound alive. He didn’t. He sounded like a man volunteering to taste-test poison.
The System summoned a gigantic magical calendar board that hovered in the air, complete with color-coded quills, scheduling crystals, and a "Spontaneous Kissing" marker in glittery pink.
[System Tip: Start with ti slots. Not with emotional declarations of eternal ownership.]
"Drakana, why don’t you go first?" Rei offered.
"Fine," the dragoness huffed. "I claim every second Tuesday and the Blood Moon. Also every day ending in ’-day’."
"That’s... all of them," Rei said.
"Exactly."
Lucivella sipped soul wine and calmly floated a demon rune onto the board.
"I only require one day: the seventh solstice of every lunar eclipse. Plus two hours before it. And three days after. Also the first Tuesday of the afterlife."
"That’s not even asurable ti," Rei muttered.
Lucivella grinned. "Love isn’t asurable, darling but obsession is."
Rosette gently rang her bell.
"...Yes, Rosette?"
She handed him a folded note. He opened it:
"Please allocate three hours nightly between 1AM and 4AM for silent devotional staring. I will not disturb you. Much."
"MUCH?!"
Lilia stepped up cheerfully. "I already finished my part!"
She unfolded a sheet that looked like a terrifying kindergarten art project. Every box had a heart. Every heart had "Lilia Rei" inside. Every Sunday had a sun wearing sunglasses and pointing at a wedding cake.
"Lilia, this is every day."
"I didn’t want to risk missing a mont," she said with angelic calm.
Seraphina raised her hand like a classroom overachiever. "As royalty, I must insist that Thursday belongs to . As does Friday. And Saturday. The rest is negotiable—through duels."
[System Alert: Negotiation has escalated to Battle Phase.]
"What?!" Rei yelped.
The girls summoned their weapons in unison. Drakana’s claws ignited, Lucivella’s eyes glowed violet, Rosette pulled out a chalk circle and started drawing ancient marriage sigils. Lilia strapped on a cooking pot like a helt. Seraphina unsheathed her fan, which may or may not have also been a guillotine.
"I HAVE A BETTER IDEA!" Rei shouted, holding up his hands. "What if... and hear out... we take turns? Like... like a rotation!"
"Explain," Lucivella purred ominously.
Rei gulped. "One girl per day. It should be randomized, fair and non-lethal. I’ll even let the system roll the dice."
[System Dice-Rolling Subsystem Activated.]
[Rolling: Monday – Rosette.]
[Tuesday – Drakana.]
[Wednesday – Seraphina.]
[Thursday – Lilia.]
[Friday – Lucivella.]
[Saturday – All-Hands Romantic Group Event.]
[Sunday – Rei’s Rest Day.]
[Note: Sunday cannot be revoked. Even if you cry.]
The room went silent. Tension thickened.
Then—
"I approve," Lucivella said first.
"I’ll allow it," Drakana added, cracking her neck.
"...Fine," Seraphina said through gritted teeth. "But I get extra hours on Royal Holidays."
Rosette nodded. Lilia just clapped like a kindergarten teacher encouraging a cat to sing.
Eris, still eating flaming popcorn from her throne of chaos, bead. "You see? Growth! Teamwork! Bloodless collaboration! Almost proud of you!"
Rei collapsed face-first into the table with a long sigh of relief.
Later that night, as Rei lay curled under five color-coded blankets stitched with the nas of his "future wives," the system popped up one last ti.
[System Notification: Mission Complete – Romance Schedule Created.]
[Reward: One (1) Nap Coupon. Usable imdiately. Non-transferable. Non-refundable. Non-reality-exempt.]
[System Comntary:]
– You survived scheduling with five obsessive won.
– You did not cause a duel to the death.
– You only cried once. (We counted.)
– Overall Rating: 7.5/10 – Could improve calendar legibility and personal backbone.
Rei mumbled sleepily, "I’m not even sure if I’m in a romance story anymore or a hostage simulation..."
[System Correction: It’s both.]
anwhile At the royal palace, Eris stood before a mirror and adjusted her "Therapist Goddess of Dysfunctional Love" sash.
She smiled.
"Let’s see how long that calendar lasts before soone sets it on fire for funsies."
She conjured a second calendar. Lilia’s na was written over all the days again.
"Just in case."
The next morning, Rei awoke not to the sound of birdsong or sunlight—but to the soft rustle of parchnt being dragged across his body.
He opened one eye.
Lilia was lying beside him, carefully etching hearts into a new calendar pinned to his chest like a scroll of destiny.
"Good morning, Husband~" she whispered sweetly, as if she wasn’t actively violating every law of personal space and stationary etiquette.
"Lilia," Rei croaked, "why are you writing on my sternum?"
She bead. "I didn’t want to wake you by pinning it to the wall, so I used your body. It’s warm and flat! Mostly flat."
"I—That’s not a complint!"
Before he could escape, Rosette appeared beside the bed like a ghostly librarian, holding a steaming mug labeled ’Monday = Misery’.
She held up a new handwritten revision with military precision: a tiline segnted into micro-monts. Every interaction was pre-defined.
"From 8:00AM to 8:03AM: tea.
8:03AM to 8:05AM: eye contact.
8:05AM to 8:06AM: mutual silence.
8:06AM to 8:08AM: blink twice to confirm happiness.
8:08AM to 8:10AM: allow Rosette to vanish into shadows."
"I’m not a Tamagotchi!" Rei exclaid.
Drakana kicked the door open thirty seconds later.
"Rei! Your Tuesday breakfast duel—er, date—is ready!"
"...That sounds violent."
"It is. But romantic violence." She tossed him a plate of slightly-singed pancakes shaped like his face. One had been half-bitten. "That one’s mine."
Lucivella entered next—floating, of course—wearing an elaborate demonic robe with ’FRI-DAY IS MINE’ stitched in eldritch calligraphy across the hem. She unrolled a revised chart etched into a glowing, rune-covered ribcage. It may or may not have belonged to a rival suitor.
"Schedule update," she purred. "I’ve cross-referenced our calendar with the infernal hellscape’s moon phases to maximize mood swings and emotional vulnerability."
"Isn’t that... exactly what we’re trying to avoid?" Rei asked.
Lucivella blinked. "I thought this was sabotage scheduling."
Seraphina burst in next, wielding an enormous gold-frad family tree scroll.
"I have adjusted the schedule for national symbolism. According to my calculations, if we date on significant royal holidays, our romance will increase kingdom morale by 17.4%."
"You have an economics chart for our love life?!"
She smiled like a tax collector. "With a pie chart and everything."
The chaos was complete when the System decided to gamify the calendar for "efficiency purposes."
[System Bonus Mission: Unlock Hidden Relationship Achievents]
– [Achievent: "Smooth Operator" – No one cries for 3 days straight.]
– [Achievent: "Death by Scheduling" – You cancel one girl’s date for another. (Don’t do this.)]
– [Achievent: "True Multitasker" – Hold hands with two girls at once without losing limbs.]
– [Hidden Achievent: ??? – Triggered by blanket pile collision.]
"What’s the last one?" Rei asked nervously.
[System: You’ll know when it happens. So will your insurance provider.]
As he tried to tiptoe out of the room, he tripped on a pile of customized planners. Each one had his na etched on the cover in disturbingly intimate fonts. One of them slled like dragon fire. Another had dried blood. One was inexplicably singing.
Eris reappeared, this ti wearing a referee uniform and a whistle made of shattered hope.
"Okay, folks, let’s do a calendar compliance check! Everyone hold up your binders!"
Five hands rose in unison.
"Rosette, that’s a knife."
She tilted her head. "It opens pages."
"It opens organs!"
Eris clapped. "Perfect! Let’s all participate in the Calendar Chant! Repeat after !"
She raised her glitter clipboard like a holy artifact.
"I solemnly swear—"
"I solemnly swear—"
"To follow the calendar—"
"To follow the calendar—"
"Unless I get jealous."
"Unless I get—wait what?!"
Now it’s too late. Rosette nodded in grim approval. Lilia giggled. Drakana was already adjusting her flathrower settings.
Rei sighed and slumped into his chair.
"Maybe I’ll use my nap coupon to fake my death."
[System Alert: That’s Mission #82. You can’t stack coupons.]
"Fine," he muttered. "But next ti I get isekai’d, I’m choosing a world with one girl. Who maybe doesn’t know how to weaponize spreadsheets."
[System Note: You chose this world. Technically. You ticked the box.]
"I thought it was a joke checkbox!"
The calendar glowed. The nas shimred. A soft hiss ca from the corner where a sixth calendar had spontaneously appeared with a question mark on it.
Rei blinked.
"...Who’s that one for?"
In the shadows, a new pair of eyes glead.
To be continued...
Again.
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