Velvet Manor Rooftops, Midnight (Plus Ten Seconds).
The kiss should have been the climax.
The fireworks, the swelling music of the festival below, Emilia’s soft words hanging in the night air — it was the kind of cinematic romance mont people would paint on murals.
Instead, it beca the trigger for Armageddon.
Because just as Emilia drew back from Rei’s lips, satisfied and glowing like she had just conquered the world, a sound split the heavens.
BOOOOOOM.
The manor shook as though a god had sneezed directly onto its roof. The fountain cracked, servants scread and pigeons abandoned their nests, screaming in pigeon.
Rei, anwhile, faceplanted into frosting for the fifth ti that evening. "WHY IS IT ALWAYS AN EXPLOSION?!"
[System Notification: Catastrophic Event Detected.]
[ Congrats, Roo. You triggered the cutscene from hell.]
Rei lifted his frosting-coated head in horror. Because standing silhouetted against the fireworks, landing on the roof tiles with the grace of predators, were not one... not two... but five shadows.
Seraphina, halo burning like a dying star.
Drakana, wings unfurled, claws still smoking from impact.
Rosette, notebook snapping shut like a guillotine.
Lilia, fresh from who-knew-where, veil fluttering like the wings of Death herself.
And Emilia—yes, Emilia, already up there sohow, despite just kissing him—who smiled with satisfaction as though this had all been part of her evil master plan.
They stood aligned, glowing with jealous fury. Five won, or i say five wives (in their own minds). Five reasons Rei regretted reincarnation.
Rei blinked at them. "Oh no. It’s Power Rangers but romantic homicide edition."
[New System Mission: "Run."]
[Reward: Possibly breathing tomorrow.]
"’Possibly’ breathing?!" Rei scread.
[I don’t like your odds either.]
The five shadows moved as one, their killing intent washing over the garden like a tidal wave of hormonal apocalypse.
Rei scrambled back against the cracked fountain, trying to look very small and very un-kissable. "Listen, everyone! It was just a firework kiss! A fireworks accident! Nothing romantic about it at all—"
"LIES," Seraphina thundered, her hymnals glowing. "The heavens bore witness. The angels wept. My ears bled."
"It should have been my kiss," Drakana snarled, flas curling from her teeth. "Fireworks? Rooftop? That’s MY aesthetic!"
Rosette adjusted her glasses, voice calm in that deeply un-calm way. "You’ve disrupted forty-seven carefully curated scenarios. The rooftop kiss was ant to happen after Scenario #12C: Candlelit Capture Dinner. I cannot forgive this breach."
Lilia landed last, veil fluttering, wedding knives glinting like a teor shower. "My groom betrayed beneath the stars... therefore, I must punish him beneath the stars."
Emilia simply twirled her parasol and smiled. "Ara, ara~ I told you all: patience wins the prize."
Rei pointed wildly at her. "YOU instigated this! Don’t act smug!"
[She absolutely is acting smug.]
[System Observation: You are dood.]
The five won didn’t lunge imdiately. No—because yanderes, unlike assassins, knew the value of theatrics. They slowly spread out across the roofline, blocking every conceivable escape route.
Rei backed up to the cracked fountain. "You wouldn’t fight each other, right? You’re all... friends?"
They all spoke at once:
"She’s a heretic." – Seraphina.
"She’s a rival." – Drakana.
"She’s irrelevant." – Rosette.
"She’s an intruder." – Lilia.
"She’s late to the party." – Emilia.
Rei raised his frosting-stained hands. "So... no teamwork then?"
The five won glanced at each other. Then—terrifyingly—they smiled in unison.
"Oh, gods." Rei’s blood froze. "They’re actually gonna team up just to kill ."
[System Alert: Cooperative Yandere Mode Activated.]
[System Warning: This is literally the endga, idiot.]
Drakana roared first, wings propelling her forward. Seraphina’s hymn bood like a war drum. Rosette pressed a detonator that turned the entire fountain into a steel cage trap. Lilia hurled a bouquet of knives that whistled through the air like confetti of doom. And Emilia? Emilia simply strolled forward, knowing the chaos itself worked in her favor.
Rei shrieked like a hunted animal and did the only thing he could think of—he climbed.
Slipping on frosting, snagging his shirt on splintered marble, he scrambled up the fountain’s remains, then leapt onto the manor wall, then hauled himself to the roof tiles with the strength of pure terror.
The crowd below gasped as they saw the duke’s son scaling his own house like a burglar. But the real show was above.
Because now—all five shadows stood aligned on the rooftop ridge, glowing with rage and fireworks.
The Firework Kiss was over. The Rooftop War had begun.
The tiles were slick with dew. The wind tugged at his clothes. Below, the entire Founding Festival carried on oblivious, cheering at fireworks as if five homicidal wives weren’t currently preparing rooftop murder-suplexes.
Rei bolted across the tiles, arms flailing. "This is NOT romantic! This is NOT aesthetic! This is OSHA-violation-level-danger!"
[System Tip: Maintain three points of contact when on rooftops.]
[...You’re definitely going to fall.]
"Helpful as always!" Rei screeched.
Drakana crashed down behind him, roof tiles shattering under her weight. "Run faster, mate! Your fear excites !"
Seraphina’s choir nuns had apparently figured out levitation and were now hovering nearby, chanting a death hymn that translated roughly to ’Thy Groom Shall Not Escape, An.’
Rosette, impossibly, was already ahead of him, crouched on the next rooftop ridge with her notebook open. "Test subject fleeing across unstable terrain. Perfect conditions."
Lilia appeared to his left, veil whipping in the wind. "Run, my groom. The chase is part of the ceremony."
And Emilia—Emilia just followed in perfect silence, parasol resting on her shoulder, smiling like the rooftop was her ballroom.
Rei gasped, slipping, arms pinwheeling. "I can’t do this! I can’t—"
[System Mission Reminder: Run.]
[System: it’s not rocket science.]
Eventually, Rei found himself at the highest peak of Velvet Manor. The wind whipped. Fireworks burst overhead, casting the five won in alternating shadows of crimson and gold.
They surrounded him, forming a deadly pentagram of obsessive love.
Emilia’s voice was silk. "Rei, darling. You can stop running now."
"Yeah, sure," Rei snapped, teetering on a roof tile. "I’ll stop running when the five of you stop looking like the world’s deadliest boy band reunion tour!"
[He’s not wrong.]
Drakana cracked her knuckles. "We’ll settle this tonight. Five wives. One groom. Winner takes all."
Seraphina’s halo flared. "The heavens shall decide his rightful bride."
Rosette adjusted her glasses. "I’ve already calculated the outco. It’s ."
Lilia raised a knife. "Our wedding begins at dawn."
Emilia simply smirked. "Ladies, ladies. Why fight? We all know he’s already mine."
Rei threw his hands up. "STOP DECIDING MY LIFE LIKE IT’S A GROUP PROJECT I NEVER SIGNED UP FOR!"
The rooftop shook as the five shadows advanced, their jealous fury glowing brighter than the fireworks overhead.
[System Ergency Alert: Boss Fight Incoming.]
[Yeah, you’re dead.]
Rei scread as claws, hymns, knives, traps, and parasols closed in on him all at once—
The world slowed. Not taphorically — literally. Rei blinked, and the fireworks above froze mid-burst, glittering fragnts of color stuck like confetti in amber.
[System Override: Ergency Slow-Mo Activated.]
[You’re welco. I just bought you approximately three seconds of thinking ti. Don’t waste it.]
"Three seconds?!" Rei shrieked. "What the hell am I supposed to do in three seconds? Write a will?!"
[System Suggestion: Step one, stop screaming.]
[System Suggestion: Step two, MOVE.]
Rei staggered sideways, narrowly missing Seraphina’s holy spear as ti lurched forward again. Sparks exploded, roof tiles shattered, and sowhere below, a servant fainted dramatically at the sheer ani of it all.
"Caught you," Lilia purred, swiping a knife at his sleeve.
Rei yelped and twisted, only for Rosette’s spring-loaded snare to coil around his ankle. He faceplanted. Again.
[System Notification: Congratulations. You’ve unlocked the achievent "World’s Worst Rooftop Acrobat."]
[Reward: Public Humiliation.]
Drakana landed behind him, claws glowing, heat radiating like a furnace. "No escape now, morsel. Shall I char you gently or sear you whole?"
"Neither!" Rei howled, fumbling at the rope. "Can I vote for ’alive’?!"
The five closed in, murder-bright eyes reflecting the frozen fireworks. Their voices overlapped, a harmony of obsession:
"Mine." – Emilia.
"Mine." – Rosette.
"Mine." – Seraphina.
"Mine." – Lilia.
"Definitely mine." – Drakana.
Rei’s soul attempted to ascend prematurely.
"WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!" he bellowed, flailing like a cornered raccoon. "What happened to the part where you argue with each other instead of trying to kill like a group buffet?!"
[Reminder — you asked if they were friends. They took that as a team-building exercise.]
The roof groaned under their collective madness. Fireworks burst again, illuminating their faces — beautiful, terrible, and terrifyingly determined.
Emilia leaned in, parasol shading her smile. "Darling, the more you resist, the sweeter the surrender."
Rei squeezed his eyes shut, praying to every deity he’d ever heard of — even the ones from video ga lore.
And then—
BOOM.
A new explosion split the sky, bigger, louder, and brighter than the festival’s finale. For a mont, even the yanderes paused, heads snapping upward.
From the blazing clouds descended... sothing.
Rei cracked open an eye, dazed. "Oh, no. Please don’t tell it’s—"
[System Warning: New Challenge Approaching.]
[Spoiler — you’re going to hate this.]
Rei whimpered.
To be continued...
Reviews
All reviews (0)