The sun filtered softly through the lace-curtained windows of the east drawing room, casting golden lines across the porcelain tableware. A kettle humd gently atop a silver tray, steam curling upward like a ghost’s sigh. Rose-petal sugar cubes sat beside a pyramid of bite-sized cakes—each a work of edible art, each probably lethal in its own way.
Rei sat in a velvet-lined chair that might as well have been an executioner’s throne.
His back was stiff and his hands trembled slightly as he held a teacup painted with pink callias. The scent was floral, gentle... deceptively like a perfu ant to hide poison.
Opposite him, Princess Seraphina bead, resplendent in a lavender dress lined with white lace, her long golden hair coiled into braids that shimred like threads of sunlight. Her tiara sparkled atop her head like a crown forged of smug satisfaction. The look in her eyes, however it could cut diamonds.
"I’m so glad that you’re finally feeling well enough for a private tea," Seraphina said sweetly, pouring herself a cup from the steaming pot. "It’s important to reestablish intimacy, don’t you think, Rei?"
"I... suppose," Rei said, smiling with the full effort of a man trapped in an active minefield.
[System Warning: Intimacy Levels Rising. Threat Level: Fangirl Execution Mode.]
[Passive Quest: Survive the Tea Party.]
He took a cautious sip and It was sweet, it’s Fragrant was slightly too smooth.
"...what kind of tea is this?" he asked, lowering the cup warily.
Seraphina fluttered her lashes. "Oh, just sothing from my private blend. Callia sinensis, honey pearl drop, and... a tiny, teeny pinch of Lux Veritas."
Rei blinked. "...Lux Veritas?"
Seraphina smiled wider. "It’s a truth-inducing herb used by the royal interrogators. It tastes like innocence and burns like lies but it’s harmless! Well, unless you lie then it reacts rather... explosively."
Rei choked literally.
He coughed, nearly spraying tea across the delicate linens. "W-why would you put that in a casual tea!?"
"For transparency, of course," she said demurely, taking a dainty sip herself. "After all, I haven’t had a chance to see you privately since your coma, and the other girls keep hovering. So I arranged a little mont—just you, , and absolute honesty."
[System Alert: Host has ingested Class-B Truth Serum.]
[System Advice: Do not lie. Do not panic. Definitely do not think about thighs.]
[Also she’s watching your pupils for dilation.]
Rei gave a tight-lipped smile. "How... thoughtful."
"So." Seraphina leaned forward, her gloved hands folded neatly. "Let’s start with sothing simple. Who do you like the most?"
Rei froze and cup clinked against its saucer in his hands.
"That’s... a complicated question." Rei said.
Her gaze sharpened.
The tea in his stomach bubbled like an approaching panic attack.
[System Trigger: Honesty Protocol Engaged. Filtering Host Response...]
Rei blurted. "I really like... um... Tea Leaf Academy ani!"
Seraphina blinked. "...The children’s ani?"
"Yes!" Rei nodded feverishly. "The one with the talking teapot who solves cris using steeping techniques and herbal wisdom. I love that show! So... mature! So emotionally resonant!"
He was sweating and profusely.
Seraphina leaned back, stunned. "You actually... rember that?"
[System Update: Lucky Guess.]
"...You showed it to when we were kids," Rei said quickly. "Episode 4. ’Earl Grey’s Betrayal.’ I cried. You called a sensitive prince."
Sothing in Seraphina’s expression cracked.
Her lips quivered, Then she reached over the table and seized both his hands.
"I—I knew it!" she cried. "You do rember! No one else respected the depth of the series! Everyone thought I was childish, but you... you understood!"
Rei forced a smile through the pain of his bones being crushed.
"Y-Yeah! Especially the subplot about Chamomile’s secret twin who was raised by steeping monks in the Ice Leaf Mountains!"
"Oh my gosh," she whispered. "I nad my horse after him..."
[System Notice: Host has gained 8 Affection Points.]
[Side Note: Your continued survival depends on rembering obscure children’s dia.]
Seraphina let go, blushing furiously.
"I had to make sure you were still the sa Rei I loved," she murmured, looking down at her tea. "After all... the others don’t care about the little things. They want your body, your status, your soul—but I want your essence. Your dreams. Your flavor profile."
Rei’s left eye twitched.
"Th-that’s... very flattering."
She smiled again with a terrifyingly serene expression.
"And just so you know... if you had said another girl’s na, the table was rigged with holy runes. The entire room would’ve exploded into righteous fire."
Rei looked down and noticed, for the first ti, the golden etchings under the lace tablecloth.
"...ha...haha..." He smile.
"Don’t worry!" she chirped. "You passed! I knew you would. You’re still the sa adorable little prince who cried when the tea kettle died."
He tried to laugh but he failed.
"So!" she clapped her hands. "Now that we’ve confird our emotional bond and mutual appreciation for serialized beverage dia, I have sothing for you."
She reached into her bag and pulled out a folder wrapped in lace.
"These are our wedding plans. I updated them while you were unconscious."
Rei hesitated.
"Wedding...?"
"Mmhmm! I even picked our duet for the reception then i composed it myself. It’s called ’Steep Like You an It.’"
Rei was too terrified to blink.
[System Update: Sanity Stat -3.]
Seraphina leaned closer, her eyes shining like two sunlit blades.
"I know we’re not officially betrothed anymore—because of that awful law where nobles must marry by mutual consent and not declaration by monarchical whim—but don’t worry. I’ve already passed a proposal in the Senate to retroactively validate childhood pinky-promises."
She tapped the folder.
"This... is our future."
Rei slowly picked it up, the sa way one might lift a bomb with a faulty tir.
It was covered in hearts and knives.
Mostly hearts... made of knives.
"I’ll, uh... read it later."
Seraphina bead. "Take your ti! Just rember—I’m the only one who loves you for your real self. Not because of your bloodline, not because of your fire pact, not because of so destiny garbage."
She stood, smoothing her dress.
"Oh, and I’ve reassigned my entire national military to act as your personal escort from now on. They’ve been renad ’Rei’s Bridal Guard.’ Isn’t that romantic?"
Rei looked out the window.
Thousands of soldiers in pink uniforms stood in perfect formation, holding banners that read:
OUR PRINCE, OUR HUSBAND, OUR IMMORTAL LOVE
"...that’s a lot of commitnt," Rei croaked.
She gave a dainty curtsy. "Just consider it foreplay."
And with that, she swept out of the room, humming the the song from Tea Leaf Academy.
Rei sat very still then he reached for the remaining tea but stopped.
"Wait... if that was truth serum..."
He narrowed his eyes at the teacup.
"...how co I was able to lie about liking episode seven?"
The tea fizzed then he dove backward as it exploded in a burst of floral smoke.
[System Notification: Bonus Achievent Unlocked — "Liar, Liar, Brew on Fire."]
[Reward: 2 Wits, -5 Digestive Fortitude.]
Rei lay on the floor, covered in petals.
"...I need to escape."
But from behind the door, the sound of steel heels approached.
Another girl with another test with another cup of tea with a knife inside.
To be continued...
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