From this perspective, what he had told Annan about the information on "Chiron"... might not actually have been intended to mislead Annan.
——The truth was, it was possible that he himself could no longer clearly rember.
So he modified his mories subconsciously, in the direction he preferred.
The mories of his first life that he retained were nowhere near enough to sustain the personality associated with the identity of "Philip Flal."
Or rather...
Every ti Philip used the Fourth History for future reincarnations, it was essentially the sa as erasing his old personality.
This was definitely not sothing the original Philip would have wanted to see.
But at this point, it was impossible for him to stop.
To stop would be to deny the previous "Philip’s" raison d’être.
...Perhaps the reason he now plans to stop reincarnating is that he had forgotten the obsession that had initially led him to decide to reincarnate.
"...I’m not lying to you. I truly... can’t rember what you’re talking about anymore."
Philip finally spoke up.
The carefree smile was no longer on his face, and his voice had deepened, "But there is one thing you got wrong.
"I wasn’t trying to find the blank Book of Truth from Chiron... I’ve lived enough. No, more precisely speaking... I no longer know the reason to keep living.
"I’ve forgotten sothing very important. I’ve also forgotten people who were once very important to . Yet, I’ve even forgotten what it was that I have forgotten."
Philip spoke slowly, "I just feel that I have lived for so long, my life has spanned hundreds of years... If it ends in an ugly way, then it would have been a life wasted.
"I rember a long, long ti ago, soone asked : ’If you could live for another three years, what would you do?’ I can’t rember who asked it anymore, nor do I know how I answered at the ti.
"But if the current were to answer this question... then all I would want is to indulge. I don’t want to think about anything anymore, I want to live a peaceful and happy life, I want a final rest...
"I’m already so tired."
Philip raised his hand again, holding the piece of honey-roasted at that had grown cold in his hand, and fiercely tore off a chunk, chewing it slowly.
The cooled-off at obviously wasn’t as appetizing anymore. The honey and fat had congealed into a thin layer of grease, one could tell the texture wouldn’t be good just by looking.
But he chewed on it earnestly as if the food in his mouth was a delicacy, consuming it greedily with the expression of it being utterly delicious.
His voice was muffled as he said, "I don’t want to think about that stuff anymore.
"You truly misunderstood ... Lord Victor. I don’t want the cursed relic lost in the depths of the sea, nor do I want to beco a god. I may once have been a Transcendent of the Gold rank, but I... no longer have such strong desires."
Not having such strong desires—was that all?
Annan could sense that this was indeed the truth.
Or rather, all of these were truths. But they were not the whole truth.
Watching Philip eat at voraciously, Annan vaguely caught another layer of aning.
Every reincarnation also requires a quarter of one’s desires as the cost. So why does Prince Philip always act gluttonous and lascivious, gorging on at and wine wherever he goes, and constantly chewing on his specially made Devil’s Blood Candy?
Perhaps the answer was that he had long since lost his true desires.
Even indulgence itself may not be his desire.
——He was forcing himself to indulge.
The mory of Philip’s first life that remained in his brain was like a wound that had healed.
It could go unnoticed on a day-to-day basis, but occasionally there would still be that fleeting phantom pain... If he touched it deliberately, the scar would beco very noticeable.
Annan suddenly rembered the words Philip had said to him the first ti they t in a nightmare.
Both in the real world’s first life and the nightmare’s second life, Annan had not yet influenced Philip. That is to say, the words Philip had said to Annan in the nightmare were basically what he said when he t the first cycle’s Annan.
——I can see you have a soul that pursues pleasure and is unbound.
——If one day you feel suffocated and wish to break free from the chains that bind your fate... you’re welco to seek out.
If you think about it carefully, you’ll notice sothing’s amiss.
Such words could be spoken by an ignored illegitimate child of a noble or a commoner with poor family conditions.
But he, as one of the successors to the throne of the Kingdom of Noah, and even a prince with a high place in the order of succession... having lived a life of luxury, where would he find "the chains that bind fate"?
Did he view the mission to beco king as the chains binding his fate?
——Of course not.
Now Annan finally understood the aning of this sentence.
As Flall’s (the Wise) blood still affected Philip, even though his wisdom had diminished to the level of a mortal, Philip’s perspective and experience were such that he imdiately identified Annan as "not of this world".
Or rather, he didn’t specifically deduce that Annan was a transmigrator.
But rather "at least a reincarnated one," aning one with a "first life." That’s why Annan, at such a young age, could behave with such maturity.
——Just like himself back in the day.
The so-called "chains that bind fate" referred to the mories of a previous life. Or in other words, the conflict between the mories of a past life and one’s current identity.
"——Man is a Machine driven by desires."
Annan spoke softly, "What difference is there between a life without desires and a puppet?"
Upon hearing this, Philip’s body stiffened once more.
This was sothing Philip once said to Annan.
Indeed, it was a reflection from his heart.
Because he thought Annan "might be of the sa kind," and at the sa ti Annan still looked like a child, it was with mixed feelings that he subconsciously blurted out that sentence.
Generally speaking, it’s not easy for heirs to the throne... especially when relations among the successors are poor, to reveal their inner thoughts.
Because it could often betray their true desires. It might expose their objectives.
"You once told ... what you sought was ’youth’."
Annan spoke slowly, "You rember, don’t you?"
"...Yes."
Philip nodded in agreent.
He recalled, "And at that ti, you asked ...’If you had to choose one from youth, would you choose never aging over immortality?’"
Annan rembered that Philip’s response had been a standard adult reply.
——I want it all.
But Annan’s way of asking was not exactly the sa as the first ti around.
Nowadays, Annan would consider other people’s thoughts, and his words would beco more diplomatic, giving people the impression of "adapting"... or perhaps "evading."
However, the first-ti Annan was not so easy to get along with.
He was cold and indifferent towards most people who had no utility value — even soone like Bella, a familiar person, could be abandoned without hesitation if necessary, let alone strangers he had never t.
It was for this reason that he had given such a strong sense of oppression to Selicia back then.
And his question to Philip naturally did not leave room for avoidance.
"I did say ’I want it all’... that was indeed what I truly thought. But then you pressed further, ’If you could only choose one?’"
At this point, Philip showed a self-deprecating smile, "I must thank you.
"That was the mont when I finally began to vaguely realize... what I truly wanted in the depths of my heart."
"What you wanted was ’to never age’."
Annan answered softly.
That was the anomaly in history.
He hadn’t pursued this answer further at the ti. Of course, there also was the reason that he wasn’t as perceptive as his other self, and that he didn’t care as much about Philip either.
To Annan, Philip wasn’t special enough and could be "kind to others."
Yet even so, based solely on the profile of Philip that Annan observed during their conversation here, he could deduce what kind of person Philip was.
He could only, and would only in that mont, choose — "to never age."
"Yes."
Philip replied, "It was then that I realized...
"Perhaps, I actually wished to die."
"——So," Annan watched him closely, "why don’t you just die?"
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