*Bianca*
The plane ride felt like a lifeti. If Taylor hadn’t been sitting right next to , I would have sobbed the entire ti. I was exhausted just from fighting back my sadness from seeping out.
Luckily, I had a window seat. I kept my eyes strictly on the window as I drifted in and out of sleep throughout the entire flight. The clouds had been my distraction as I imagined leaping from one cloud to another like those kids did in Peter Pan. What I wouldn’t give to have my only problem be a pirate with a hook for a hand.
I felt as though I had a thousand hooks pointed at . Trapping within myself.
The car ride to my house was a little better. It had begun to snow just as we were pulling up to my childhood ho. It was average size with pale yellow paint chipping off, revealing the brownish stone underneath. My mother’s rose bushes had gone into hibernation for the winter season. I’d missed those big, beautiful roses.
Leo had begun to fade into the background of my mind as I stepped out of the small taxi. Taylor insisted on grabbing all of our bags as I knocked gently on the worn wooden door.
I wasn’t at all surprised when my entire family appeared behind the door. My mother, however, was the first one to scoop up into her arms.
“Oh, my sweet, Bianca!” she sang, holding tightly.
She kissed both of my cheeks and my forehead before pulling inside the house. It was warm inside. Not only did the heat from the fireplace warm my skin, but the inside of the house itself ward my heart.
It felt incredibly good to be ho. It felt welcoming, safe, and calm.
Well, not entirely calm at the mont due to all my family mbers causing a ruckus over my arrival.
“Bianca!” my aunt Rose called out. “It feels like I haven’t seen you in centuries!”
Aunt Rosa pulled into an even tighter hug than my mother had. Her rather large chest had started to suffocate . I patted her on the back and gave her a wide smile.
“Aunt Rose, you’re doing it again,” I chuckled.
She imdiately loosened her grip and laughed. “Oh, sweetie, what can ya do when God gifts ya with such a luscious bosom such as myself?”
I just laughed and shook my head as she proceeded to pinch my cheeks like I was still a little girl.
“You must be the boyfriend we’ve heard nothing about!” Aunt Rose said to Taylor as she crushes him into a hug.
“Rosa!” My mother called out, elbowing her in the arm. “I told you already, that’s not Leo. This is Taylor, an old schoolmate she reconnected with over in the states.”
“Oh, right, yeah, of course,” Aunt Rosa nodded her head, but winked at all the sa.
I could always rely on Aunt Rosa to cheer up, that was for sure.
“Hey, kiddo, it’s good to see you,” my Uncle Cedro greeted with a one ard hug. “Don’t mind your aunt, she’s already gotten into the spiced eggnog.”
Uncle Cedro and I laughed as Aunt Rosa playfully swatted him on the arm.
My mother swiftly swooped away into the kitchen just as Aunt Rosa’s and Uncle Cedros’ three kids ca running into the living room.
“Your Uncle Giotto and Aunt Silvia will be over later for dinner,” she told as she sat down on the stool that was housed beside the kitchen island.
“Alright,” I nodded, resting my elbows on the stone surface.
My mother sat a plate full of pasta down in front of .
I tilted my head to the side. She always did that.
“Mom, I’m not hungry,” I tried to tell her.
“You have a growing baby in that belly of yours,” she whispered, leaning closely towards . “You eat. You look thin.”
“Mom, I do not look thin,” I groaned as I took a bite of pasta to please her.
“Will Mia be stopping by at all today?” I asked, curious.
My mom nodded her head. “Of course, dear. Her and Alessandro said they’d be by at so point today. You know how they are. You never know when they are coming or going.”
I now understood why that was. Before I moved to the states and fell in love with a mafia leader, I never truly understood why Mia and Alessandro were always showing up at random tis and leaving on short notice.
They had never been on ti for a family event and they’d usually always end up leaving in the middle of it.
Now, however, I understood perfectly. Alessandro was a part of the mafia here, in Italy. Mia had married him and eventually beca involved herself. She wasn’t just the wife of a mafia mber, but she was actually a mber herself.
One thing I was certain of, I never wanted that for myself. I could never beco a mber of Leo’s mafia family. Ever.
I sighed heavily as I stuffed another bite of the pasta into my mouth. I supposed it was a good thing that I ca ho. Just another thought that reassured that I was doing the right thing by leaving Leo.
That thought alone, of leaving Leo, however, hurt deep inside my chest. I pictured him finding my letter and being crushed by my decision.
I quickly shook my head free of those thoughts and images as I fought back tears. The last thing I needed was my mom seeing cry. Or any of my family to see cry.
Taylor walked into the kitchen and sat down beside . Of course, he hadn’t been sitting for more than three seconds before my mom shoved a plate of food in his face, as well. Taylor, on the other hand, bead and thanked her before shoveling bite after bite into his mouth.
“See, Bianca, he knows how to accept a family gesture,” my mom teased.
Taylor smiled with his mouth full and wiggled his eyebrows. I chuckled and elbowed him in the side.
“Suck up,” I muttered.
We all stuffed ourselves into the living room as everyone caught up with how their lives have been since I left. Everyone seed to be doing great. I felt happy for them all.
Though, I had to admit, I had felt a little sad for myself. I wasn’t doing great. I was pregnant, I just broke up with my boyfriend who doesn’t even know we are having a baby, I’m probably not going to be able to finish school, and I’m back ho feeling like I’ve completely ssed my life up.
And the worst part? I couldn’t even admit any of this to my family. I had to paint on a smile and pretend like I, too, was doing great. I felt exhausted already from playing pretend when all I wanted to do was go in my room and cry.
Taylor must have noticed my energy draining as he placed his hand on my shoulder and gently squeezed. I looked up at him and gave him a small, “thank you,” smile. He nodded his head once and returned with a comforting smile.
A few monts later, my mother grabbed my hand and whispered. “Co with for a mont, hm?”
I nodded wordlessly as I stood up from off the couch. My mom took into my old room where my suitcase lay untouched on the bed. She sat down next to it and gave a knowing look.
“I can tell when sothings wrong, my sweet girl,” she said in a soothing tone.
I sighed, letting my shoulders droop. I couldn’t hide this from her any longer.
“I broke up with Leo,” I admitted, reluctantly. “But I still love him.”
“Does he love you?” she questioned, holding my hand in between hers.
Tears had begun to build barriers in my eyes. “He does.”
“Is this because of the baby?” my mom questioned.
“He doesn’t even know about the baby,” I confessed as a single tear escaped, making a run for it down my warm cheek.
“Oh, sweetheart. You haven’t told him, yet? Why not?”
I knew I couldn’t tell her the entire truth. There was no way I could confess to her that Leo was the Don in the mafia and there was a man on a path of revenge to get back at Leo for locking up his right-hand man. I had no idea what she would do if she knew I was this man’s target.
However, I also knew I had to tell her sothing. Sitting here with my mom had made feel like I wanted to confess to her my every secret. My every wound. She was my mother, after all, she had always held the power to heal all of my wounds. Why not this one, too?
“Leo’s job is demanding and, I don’t know, mom, it was starting to feel like I wasn’t as important to him as I used to be,” I admitted. “I know he would think this baby would be a burden; therefore, he would find as a burden.”
My mom sighed softly and sported a half smile on her face as she looked at . She brought her hand up to my cheek and wiped away the fallen tear.
“Honey, sotis things aren’t always what they seem. You love him, Bianca. How can you know what he will think if you haven’t yet given him the opportunity to prove your worried mind wrong?” she said softly.
“Now, I haven’t t Leo yet, but from what you’ve told about his love for you already, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he showed up on our doorstep to get you back,” she smiled, caressing my cheek.
I wished I thought that too.
“I doubt it, Mom,” I sighed.
“Don’t you cast him off just yet,” she told , as we both stood up. “If Leo loves you as deeply as you’ve portrayed him to, I have faith your love story is far from over, my sweet girl.”
I gave her a soft smile as she brought into a hug. “Thanks, Mom.”
“Always, dear.”
We walked back out to the room full of family.
“Why don’t you and Taylor go into town for so Christmas shopping while we get ready for dinner,” my mom suggested, grabbing my coat and already putting it on .
“Are you sure?” I asked, quickly. “I can stay and help.”
She shook her head as she shooed us both towards the door. “You two go and have fun.”
“Alright,” I managed to get out before she nudged us out the door.
The snow had continued to fall while we were inside. The tops of the houses, cars, trees, and streets were now covered in a light layer of snow. Just the sight of the snow alone had perked up a bit.
Taylor and I chatted as we walked around my small snow-covered town. We went into a bunch of shops and even stopped to get hot cocoa at a small café.
The ground was getting a little slippery and without thinking I linked my arm around Taylor’s to help keep steady as we walked back to the house. My stomach had begun to growl unpleasantly, and I was looking forward to seeing Mia. I had hoped she would be there by the ti Taylor and I got back.
Though, with the thought of Mia, ca all of the thoughts of Leo, as well. I wondered what he was doing in that very mont. I wondered what I would do if he actually did show up on my mom’s doorstep wanting to win back.
Would I finally tell him I was pregnant? Or would I harden my heart and tell him to go back to LA? I supposed only ti would tell.
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