He kept this all in his heart for years... How much did he suffer alone? Why didn’t he tell all this before? He didn’t trust ?
Rebecca rembered all those tis he had attacks and how he would curl up to a ball and weep. How much he despised to visit his parents in the past... She thought it was because he felt guilty for driving that car while he was drunk, leading to his sister’s death. But it was more than that?
Why didn’t he tell ?
Her slender fingers trailed through his hair and there was emptiness in her eyes. She felt extrely bad for him and felt useless at the sa ti.
"My dad... My mom said she fell for that guy because he was rich and influential... My dad was just an attorney back then and he was not very rich, but was well off. Dad wanted to rise in ranks and he spent a lot of ti at work and for sure that is no excuse for what my mom did. But she felt like it was acceptable... In the end, my sister was buried as my sister.... " Joe dragged a chair for Rebecca to sit and continued to speak.
" My mom blad my father for everything and never accepted any bla. My father who had lost the daughter he thought he had and learnt that that daughter was not his because his wife cheated on him with a family friend, didn’t know for what he should grieve for, and started concentrating on work once more.
Tis were tough back then and my mom tried to get for support in case my father divorces. She said she was swayed by the power that man held and it was just an one ti thing. She wanted to take her side in case there was divorce.
I.. Couldn’t accept it. I was in my own darkness learning all those truths. I felt disgusted at my mom and myself for dating Rachel. I felt wronged by all...
My dad should have divorced my mom, but he didn’t. Instead he started ignoring her altogether and just thew money at her face whenever she asked. It was his way of saying that he was rich and powerful. At one point my mom asked for divorce, but my dad refused. He used all kind of thods to stop her from even hiring a lawyer. He showed how influential he was and my mom stopped trying to get out. She yearned for a powerful man and when the one she chose beca one, she couldn’t wait to leave him. Rachel’s parents got divorced as truth ca out.
Our two families who were close, started to pretend to be close in public. Everyti I saw Rachel, I felt bad since I felt that everything went wrong because of . I broke up with Rachel and with the abundant money I had and with no supervision or care, I leaned to drugs... "
"It was dark... Becky... It was lonely and dark where I was... I was alone..." Joe tired to hold Rebecca’s hand. However, his hand stopped just a centiter away from Rebecca’s hand as he rembered how she didn’t like his touch previously. He didn’t want her to leave without hearing him speak.
That little act made Rebecca’s heart squeeze. But still she didn’t show it in her face and listened.
"Then you ca...like an angel descending from heaven, just for ... I watched you defending for no reason. No one has ever done that for ... No one. Even my father looked at with doubt and just stopped caring for ... Maybe he thought I was not his too. I don’t know... But you... Do you rember the first thing you said to ?"
Rebecca bowed her head. She rembered. Back then she didn’t think that she’d marry this guy. ’You’re an angel!’ he said to her and she slapped him hard on his face and said that she’s no angel and that she has no respect for those who ruin their life themselves.
Now that she thinks about it... Her slap and words ca from a place of care and that’s what made him attracted towards her?
She thought she won’t see him ever again, but this guy appeared in front of her many tis and each ti he’d have that stupid grin in his face.
She knew that chicks think that the first person they see is their mother and would follow them around. She felt like she was the mother of that cute duckling who followed her around. She involved Talia after knowing he wants to get better. Maybe Talia saw he wants to change his ways. Talia always helped those who really want to better themselves; like she helped her getting a place to stay in University. While Talia supported his business, she supported him get better and along the way, fell in love with him.
"You still haven’t said why you believed Rachel more than ," she tried to get back at the topic.
" After I t you, my life changed and I felt like I was the happiest person in the world. I wanted to stay away from the Crawley family and my family too. I was ashad of my family and that’s why I tried to keep you away from my family. I saw how your family was and I realised the stark contrast between our families. I knew you’d think all families are like your lovely family. And so I tried to hide how dirty my family is.... I feared you might lump with them. If possible I wanted to be part of your family and keep you from my family.... " he looked at Rebecca and Rebecca saw the honesty in his face.
So that’s why he kept this from ? Because he felt insecure?
Oddly she understood how he felt. She had that feeling from him; that he doesn’t like his family and wanted to keep her away from them.
But she was stunned to know he felt that insecure about his family, while she was feeling insecure she doesn’t et up with his family’s standards. She thought she was just a farr’s daughter while he was of higher statue. All the while, he felt like he was from a dysfunctional family while she was from a lovely family.
Both were feeling insecure of themselves, thinking that they don’t asure up with the other.
What is this!
Joe could see the understanding swirling in her eyes and felt like his confidence getting boosted.
"I was happy. But then later when I t Rachel... She told she was not happy and that accident did irreparable damage to her family..." he looked at Rebecca.
"You felt responsible for her." Rebecca said with a sigh. She guessed it when he talked about the accident and now she was sure.
This explains a lot...actually, it explains everything.
Joe who took bla for the accident and everything that followed, felt guilty that he was happy while Rachel was not. She could now understand why Joe thought of Rachel as his sister. Right or wrong, alive or dead, they shared a sister after all.
He is not to be blad much. It was Rachel who used the good nature of Joe against her and himself.
Rachel was very cunning. She dated Peter knowing how much of a scum he is, knowing Joe would interfere.
And so faults lay with herself too. Whenever Rachel riled her up, she acted out at Joe and just scread at him. Screaming and shouting never gets the point across and she might have seed as soone creating unnecessary troubles.
"How did you find out about Rachel?" she asked. It would always be a wound in her heart knowing that her husband believed another woman more than herself.
"I heard her talking with her mother. They were talking about..." he hesitated to say it. More than hesitation, he was irked to say what they said and his hands fisted.
"Were they talking about hurting or our child?" Rebecca asked with a snort. They are that sort of people. She could guess by the face Joe was making.
"Yes," Joe said taking in a deep breath. With his fisted hand he hit his forehead, clenching his jaws.
How stupid was he to believe them! When he heard them talking about how hard it would be to hurt his wife now that she is with Talia... He wanted to strangle them to death, right then and there.
But he had a little sense. If he killed them, he cannot be with his wife or watch his child grow. So he swallowed his anger.
"My mom wanted Rachel to marry to get back at my father who ignored her these past years. Rachel’s mom wanted to get back at my mom and kill her grandchild... And Rachel... She found too good to let go... " Joe laughed and hit his face, mocking himself.
" Stop it! " Rebecca stopped Joe from hurting himself. His face had beco red by his hits.
Maybe that’s what he felt listening to them.... That he got slapped in the face.
Rebecca was thankful that Joe awakened hearing what he heard. She was happy that he chose to stand by her side.
But still... If only he said all these things troubling him when they were dating, or even when he brought in Rachel to their company... It would’ve been different. Of she knew the truth, she might have handled Rachel differently.
She had to push him for divorce to get the truth out of him?
Joe sighed in relief seeing Rebecca understood what he was conveying. It doesn’t take the fault from him though. He understood that too. He should have been open with this all right from the beginning. May be to uphold his pride and the pride of his family, he hid that nasty secret from his own wife.
But if she understood his side, it would be easy for him to make her forgive him. Seeing her in deep thoughts, he was scared she might misunderstand his intentions.
"Becky...I’m not trying to guilt you into accepting . I’m not saying you weren’t attentive towards -"
"Why would I ever think that?" Rebecca gritted her teeth and interjected him. "You’re a grown man and I’m not God to read your mind. Why should I bla myself for what you chose to hide from ?" her eyes welled up. She was angry and she cried.
"I’m sorry, Becky... I didn’t an to-"
"I almost killed our child, Joe! If Talia didn’t stop I might have-" Rebecca covered her face and started to sob. "Why were you this late?"
Joe’s hand that was about to touch her head, paused. A sharp pain originated from his heart and spread throughout his body. He felt suffocating.
There was a possibility that his child wouldn’t have survived?
Joe’s hands shook. He didn’t think he had hurt her that much. Soone like his wife... To be pushed towards such decision... She might have thought it was best at that ti, but she would’ve hated herself later, if she went through that decision.
How much did I hurt her?
And Talia stopped her... How much do I owe Talia?
Was I late?
No... I cannot accept this as it is. My child is fine and growing well in my wife’s belly. My wife is healthy, I am too. We haven’t lost anything yet. I cannot waste my ti anymore.
It is late... But it is not too late.
With no hesitation, he went and hugged his sobbing wife closer to his heart. She is his life. He will prove it to her.
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