I got out of bed and stalked towards him.
“You’re a coward,” I spat, mingled hurt and fury blurring my vision as I rounded the corner of the bed to face him. “You say I’m your mate and then push away. You say you’re giving up on breaking the curse right after you tell we’re mates!”
“I am not going to risk your life–”
“You haven’t ever asked what I want!” I could have scread it. I could have woken every sleeping person in this village with the force of my rage. “You’ve shared my bed. You’ve kissed . You’ve made feel like–like this was sothing–”
“Losing you–”
“You knew from the beginning, didn’t you? You knew all along.” My heart was thundering against my ribs as I took another step toward him, my hands clenched into fists. “You said nothing to about it but still ca to after the ball–”
“Do you think this has been easy for ? Do you really think all I ant to do was take advantage of you and then send you away?”
“But that’s exactly what you’re doing! This was never about breaking the curse, was it?”
“When you played that song in Aeris’s castle... that was when I knew, at least, I thought that’s what it was.” He straightened up, exhaling deeply as he turned to face . “Your scent in my study that night we fought... When I pushed you against my desk? Like rain, like the feeling of stepping out into the night after a storm... I didn’t think I’d ever feel the mate bond. I didn’t think it was possible with my curse. When I took you to bed for the first ti it snapped into place for and ripped to shreds, Eliza. It took all of my fucking willpower not to mark you right then and there.”
“I wish you would have–”
“Don’t say that to ,” he snarled. A single tear rolled down my cheek as his face contorted into his mask of ice. “Don’t say anything about this ever again. It’s over, Eliza. I can’t protect you from what’s coming. I won’t parade you around as my Luna just to buy us ti and keep others from wanting you. I won’t put you in danger chasing a dead man and his artifact to try to break a curse that can’t be broken. It’s too late. You need to go ho, back to your family, to where you’re safe–”
“How could you?” I whispered, my heart shattering into pieces. Every feeling and emotion from the last few weeks ca rushing to the forefront of my heart, overwhelming . I’d known. I’d known from the beginning. I’d felt the first inklings of the mate bond, muted and subdued because I hadn’t yet co into my wolf, but it was there.
It was there, and it was strong, and it was killing .
He’d taken to bed ti and ti again, running his fingertips over my skin. He whispered my na against my lips.
I closed my eyes.
“This is for your own good.”
“Don’t,” I whispered, taking a step away from him. “Don’t say anything else.”
Stupid, stupid girl. Stupid, lovesick puppy. Stupid girl on a stupid adventure. I ran my hands over my face, roughly wiping the tears from my eyes.
“All I wanted to do was help you,” I whispered, choking on the words. “Because I could.”
I should have told him what I’d found about his tattoos and the map, that all signs led to the lost city of Myrel. I couldn’t find the words. I couldn’t find the strength, not now. Not now that it didn’t matter what I said, or did, to show him I could do this, that I could handle it, that I loved him.
Loved him. I’d never admitted that before.
“Does it feel like this with everyone?” I’d asked while wrapped in his arms only a day before. He’d whispered the answer against my skin, igniting that tethered thread that should have bound us together for eternity.
No, it doesn’t.
I looked up at him through my lashes, my heart cracking at the thought of what I was about to do.
“Reject , then,” I said, trembling over the words. “Reject .”
“There’s nothing to reject–”
“I want to hear you say it so I can move on,” I cut in, biting the inside of my cheek.
He looked furious. He should be furious, I thought, but only with himself.
“Why not?” I asked, my own rage bubbling over the surface as I noticed the abrupt change in his deanor. “You wanted to just wallow away in my grief from losing a mate and never find soone else? This is what you wanted, right? For to return ho? For to be safe? Well, I want more. I want a mate, children. Love. If you’re refusing to accept the bond you say we have then reject , Jared. For the love of the Goddess, say it!”
“I can’t,” he said levelly, but his tone sent a shiver through my soul. I could feel his hurt, his regret. “You can’t feel the bond yet, anyway. By the ti you can I’ll be long gone. Dead, Eliza.”
“You don’t even know my birthday,” I sniffled. “I could be turning twenty-one tomorrow–”
“August 29th,” he said, clenching his jaw before continuing, “the sa as mine.”
A hush fell over the room. A rogue tear slid down my cheek and along my jaw as I blinked, thoroughly confused.
“The day you’d feel the mate bond is the sa day the curse takes what’s left of my wolf, of .”
“What does this an?” The song, the powers in the Cryptex, now our birthdays?
“We’re inexplicably linked.”
“Well that’s fucking obvious!”
Jared narrowed his eyes at , his hands clenched into fists at his sides. “Do you think this is easy for , knowing that my mate is standing right in front of and I’m going to lose her to either myself, or another threat? If you aren’t taken from , Eliza, you’ll die by my hand, I guarantee it–”
“You have no faith in yourself–”
“I know myself too well to overlook the fact that I’m losing pieces of myself every single fucking day!” he shouted, his cheeks going ruddy with emotion. “I’d rather give you up than take the risk–”
“And if there’s no risk,” I choked, swallowing back the desperation in my voice. “If the curse is broken or doesn’t co to fruition–”
“I’d find you,” he said, his voice hoarse with emotion. “I’d tear our worlds apart looking for you.”
“Promise –”
“I’m not making promises.” He tore his eyes away from mine, his body tense with grief. I choked on a sob as he walked past toward the door, hesitating as he turned the doorknob. “I sent word of Aeris’s plans to overthrow the Alpha King to the capital this morning.”
Then he left the room, slamming the door shut behind him.
***
I felt like a ghost of myself as I crawled back in bed. It was the middle of the night, no moonlight dancing through the windows as raindrops trailed down the glass panes. I laid there with my eyes open until the candle flickered out, warm wax coating my bedside table. I had half a mind to go upstairs and curl up in my old bed, but I knew Jared wasn’t coming back tonight. Not to this room, not to .
I realized he’d been pulling away from this quest to solve the curse ever since the night of the ball. Once he’d known what we were to each other, his focus had shifted. He wanted to go ho. I wanted to stay. I hadn’t understood his insistence that this was suddenly too dangerous.
But I was his mate. He had a Goddess given duty to protect , sothing ingrained in his soul that was taking his focus from the curse.
I was in the way, I realized.
I fell asleep to the sound of rain pounding the windows. I woke up to another gray spring day. Jared’s side of the bed was cold to the touch, the blankets still made and unruffled. I dressed and walked to the kitchen, finding Miriam kneading dough on the wide work table, dark circles under her eyes.
“Where’s Jared?” I asked. Miriam looked up at , a soft but pained smile touching her lips.
“He left with a crew on a mission, my dear. He’s trying to find the wolves that hard our Archer. He’ll be back in a week.”
And I was supposed to be leaving with Brandt to the capital in two days.
He hadn’t even said goodbye.
I swallowed back the pained sob tightening my throat and nodded, trying to smile. Miriam must have known Jared’s plan to send away. I could see the hurt lingering behind her eyes.
“Scarlett hasn’t co down for breakfast yet,” she said slowly, her pained expression broken by a brief flash of what I can only describe as mischief. “Could you tell her she has the day off today, please? Maybe the two of you could talk for a while.”
I arched my brow as I nodded, the corner’s of Miriam’s mouth twitching into a smile as she went back to kneading the dough.
“Oh, and, before I forget. They’re a few traveling packs in the storage closet on the second floor. Could you pull them out for , dear? They need to air out a bit.”
“I will,” I smiled, nodding at her in farewell. What is she plotting?
I found Scarlett in her bedroom, her eyes focused on the ceiling as I shut the door behind .
“Miriam says you have the day off. She wants us to go on a walk together.”
“A walk? It’s raining?”
“I think she’s up to sothing but I did want to talk to you about sothing.” I sat on the edge of her bed, exhaling deeply as I t her eye. “Do you know soone nad Abel?”
“Yes, why? He’s an enemy of Jared’s–”
“Do you know where to find him?”
Scarlett sat up, her hair ruffled and full of static as she narrowed her eyes at .
“Roughly... His territory is northwest of here.”
I fought back a smile, chuckling to myself as I looked down at my hands.
I wasn’t going ho, not yet.
I had a few things I needed to do first. One of which...
“If you needed to... incapacitate soone,” I began with a tilt of my head. “Just to make them sleepy enough to... not notice you’re gone for a while, how would you do it?”
“Wolfsbane and chamomile, why?”
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