*Lena*
I woke around 4:00 a.m., taking a hasty shower and readying for my journey. The last three years of my life were packed in boxes and stacked in a pile next to the front door of our apartnt, waiting for the postman to pick them up later in the day.
I wouldn’t co back here. Maybe to visit, maybe, but otherwise, this Chapter of my life had closed. I looked around the living room and kitchen as I slung my duffle bag over my shoulder, taking it all in–the twinkling lights that hung over the window, the pothos vines that climbed up the brick wall in the living room, the empty bottles of wine and pizza boxes in the kitchen.
Heather and Viviene were still asleep. We’d said our tearful goodbyes last night. They thought it would be for a long ti, but they were wrong. I slid two envelopes on the kitchen counter, one for each of them before I headed out the door.
It was a short walk to the train station. It was frigid, but the sky was clear and stars still hung bright over the top of my head as I walked through the snow. I only saw a few people waiting for the morning train to Breles, which was less than a two-hour journey by train, their figures shrouded in shadow.
But one of the figures turned to as I walked up the steps to the platform, and the thread tied around my heart tightened, taking my breath away. Xander walked toward , his face void of expression, and took my duffle bag from my shoulder, carrying it for as I followed him to the opposite end of the platform.
I was too shocked to speak. His cheeks, and the tip of his nose, were reddened from the cold. He’d been out here for a while then, and for a mont I thought he might be taking the sa train. But he had no luggage with him. He set my duffle bag on a bench, exhaling deeply before he turned to .
His eyes were dark wells, the little sparks of amber on display beneath the fluorescent lights of the station.
“I’m sorry.”
“What happened?” I whispered, my voice edged with a nearly inaudible plea.
“It doesn’t matter right now,” he replied. He made no moves toward . He tucked his hands in his pockets, his gaze drifting from my face to the snow-covered trees beyond the tracks.
“Are you rejecting ?” I dared to ask. I had to know.
But he didn’t answer. He continued to look out over the park, his expression totally unreadable. “What did I do wrong?”
“You didn’t do anything wrong–”
“Then why–”
“I can’t keep you safe,” he said sharply, his eyes eting mine again so intensely I took a step away from him.
“Safe from what?”
He shook his head, shifting his weight as he looked away from again.
So, it was going to be like this again.
“You hate ” I began, but he snapped his head toward , fixing with a glare.
“I don’t hate you–”
“But you continue to play gas with . I thought you... I thought you wanted this. You marked –”
“I marked you because you marked first,” he sneered, and my heart dropped into my stomach. I wanted to throw up. I wanted to sob. I took another step away from him, turning away so he couldn’t see the blush sending a wave of heat prickling over my neck and cheeks.
“I don’t rember doing it,” I whispered, low enough I wasn’t sure he’d heard .
“It doesn’t matter–”
“What matters to you then, Xander? Were you just in this to sleep with ? To claim as so prize, to be able to say you bagged the Princess of Valoria? Or was it my powers you were after?”
His face was twisted with fury as he slowly turned his head to look at , eyes flaming with fire as they narrowed on mine.
“You really think I’d use you like that–”
“You did, Xander. You did. And then you sent Adrian to clean up the ss–”
“Adrian?” he hissed, taking a step in my direction.
“He ca to my apartnt yesterday. He asked if you’d told ... told the truth–”
“Adrian doesn’t know what he’s talking about–”
“He was upset. He said Gideon had co looking for you, and that you went to Crimson Creek–”
“I didn’t go to Crimson Creek,” he said, his voice so sharp it could have cut like a knife.
“Then where the hell did you go?!” I cried, unable to stop the tears from spilling over my eyelashes. “Why do you continue to do this to ? You push away, then do everything you can to pull back in, making promises, telling you love only to push away again. You’re cold, Xander. You’re a liar. You’ve been playing the entire ti.”
“If thinking that makes you feel better, then by all ans–”
“Are you joking?” I choked, trying to keep my voice low so the other people standing on the other side of the platform couldn’t hear us. “Even if I actually marked you first, which I don’t believe for a single second, you marked , Xander. I’ve never experienced the kind of pain you put through yesterday–”
“I’m sorry–”
“You’re not sorry! You keep saying that, but you’ve never ant it, not once.”
He was looking at , his face stone cold. I wanted to slap him just to get a reaction out of him, but my arms felt weak at my sides. My heart was shattering in my chest, held together by the thread.
“I realized I was wrong. I woke up that morning and I knew it was a mistake. I have nothing to offer you but heartache and loss, Lena. That’s all I can say.”
I arched my brows, his words like a blow to my chest. The platform began to vibrate as a soft rumble sounded in the distance, followed by the lights of a train as it ca around the corner toward the station.
Xander swallowed, his throat working and jaw flexing as he looked into my eyes. There was sothing behind his stare that gave a single shred of hope. It was a look of absolute distress, like every word that ca out of his mouth had been another set of his lies.
“This is over then,” I whispered, my voice drowned out by the train as it pulled into the station. He reached for my duffle bag, but I grabbed it, moving away from him.
“Lena–”
“What else can you possibly have to say to ?”
If he said he loved , I would really hit him, not just think about it. He was silent, however. I gave him one last look before I slung my bag over my shoulder and walked briskly away, the lump in my throat strangling as I fished for my ticket in the pocket of my jacket.
In a perfect world, this would have just been a tiff, a lovers’ quarrel. Xander would run after the train as it pulled away, rain would fall from the sky as I jumped out and ran to him, wrapping my arms around him as he kissed , telling he was wrong, that he loved , that he’d ant it when he said it.
But this wasn’t a fairytale. I boarded the train and walked as far forward as I could so I wouldn’t see him standing on the platform as the train lurched forward. I set my duffle bag in my lap, hugging it like a pillow and leaning my head on the window, closing my eyes.
But I didn’t feel the pain of rejection like I had the day before. My heart was broken, shattered beyond repair, but I didn’t feel like my bones were breaking. I didn’t feel like I was going to die from grief.
I closed my eyes as the train began to move, a slow crawl at first, then gaining substantial speed as it traveled out of Morhan.
It was over, all of it. What happened in Crimson Creek was just a fading mory. Morhan University was nothing but a Chapter, now closed, my diploma tucked safely in my bag as I clutched it to my chest. My friends would move on after reading the letters I’d left them.
And Xander?
I knew in my soul I’d never know a love like this ever again.
I surrendered to the grief as the train sped away from the life I’d been living, leaving every mistake I’d made in its wake.
***
Hot sun beat down on as I stepped out of the plane and walked across the tarmac. The pavent was golden in the bright light, and I had to shield my eyes as I walked, my legs numb and beginning to prickle as my muscles, stiff from a twelve-hour flight, adjusted to the movent.
I’d slept for most of the flight, and woken to nothing but endless turquoise water as I looked out the window in my row. It was a full flight, and as we neared Avondale, everyone on board began to murmur in excitent.
Golden beaches. Clear, warm water. The perfect distraction.
I felt fine as I walked off the plane. So rest and distance from the ss I’d made gave a new outlook.
But it was short-lived.
As I walked across the tarmac, I noticed a black SUV parked on the pavent, the heat moving in waves over it, making the car look like only an illusion.
But the back door opened and a man stepped out, dressed in a light blue button-up shirt and a pair of khaki shorts. His brown hair was swept back off his face, his temples flaked with gray. I nearly dropped my duffle bag on the ground as I broke from the line of passengers walking toward the airport, running as fast as I could and throwing myself into his arms.
“Dad!” I cried, and he squeezed , whirling in a circle.
Rowan Gray, the Alpha King of Valoria, kissed on the forehead, his deep blue eyes creasing with relief. He held at arm’s length, smiling down on , his wide mouth curving into a smile.
But sothing about the warmth and love behind his smile snapped inside my heart. My lower lip began to tremble.
“Lena, honey, are you alright?” he asked, his dark brown brows furrowing as he squeezed my shoulders.
I opened my mouth to say sothing along the lines of, “I’m fine,” but all that ca out was a choked sob.
He clutched to his chest as I broke down in tears.
“W-where’s Mom?” I cried, my voice hitching in my throat as he held by the back of my head against his chest.
“She’s at the palace. What happened? Are you hurt?”
Yes, yes I was, but as I stained my father’s shirt with tears, I found it impossible to tell him anything close to the truth.
Could I possibly say... that I’d let soone I barely knew mark , and he’d broken my heart?
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