*Theo*
All around , everyone was dying.
This couldn’t be happening again!
Jake, Ciana, Cedrick, and Mother, who was staring at , with a look on her face that said she had warned about this.
As quickly as I could, I rushed from the pavilion and headed back to the castle. I wanted to make sure they were okay, but the longer I stayed there, the less likely it was that they’d wake up.
I was hoping that by staying away from them, they’d wake up on their own, or so guards would find them and move them to their room.
Bottomline was, I should not be near them.
The mont I entered my room, I bolted both doors—the one to the hallway and the one to my attendant’s chamber.
Ciana’s room....
Dropping down on the bed, I took my head in my hands.
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
How the hell could this have happened again?
I cursed the Moon Goddess and punched my fists into the wall. My hands splitted open, blood was streaming down for a few seconds, but then they started to heal at a visible speed.
Anger raged through , and I couldn’t control it. The thought that I could’ve managed to kill the very few people who were important to was enough to make lose it.
I threw my nightstand and bookcase into the wall, sending the contents tumbling and thundering onto the floor, spilling a glass of water and countless books in every direction.
Still not satisfied with my outlet, I kicked a large volu across the room and then sent the sofa flipping end over end.
With nothing much left to break out here, I breathed a bit heavily from exertion as I took a look around. I’d certainly made a ss of things, but all it did was make more upset.
Finally, I sat down on my bed and leaned back against the headboard.
How the fuck did this all happened again?!
I hated everything about myself. Everything.
***
A couple days went by, and the only contact I had with the outside world was when a servant would co and leave food outside of my door, knocking that it had arrived. A few hours later, I’d hear soone co by and pick up the untouched tray.
Food wasn’t what I needed to survive at the mont. Whoever ca even close to my room should feel tired and drained. So unless they were forced, no one would want to be near my wing at this mont.
Then, on the third day after I’d hard my best friend and that girl with the infectious smile, I heard a sharp knock on my door.
I said nothing, but it didn’t stop. Finally, I shouted, “Get the fuck away from !”
‘Alpha, let co in,’ Jake spoke via the mindlink.
Jake! Was he finally awake?
‘Stay out of this,’ I ordered.
My Beta was persistent though. ‘Alpha, please. Let in.’
‘I’m not going to tell you again. Stay the fuck out!’
‘Alpha, you need to know, we’re all right. I was a bit further away from you, so I didn’t suffer much. And Ciana is okay, too. She’s resting, but really... she has recovered. Lady Nita and Cedrick are fine too. Really Alpha, it wasn’t as bad as you thought.’
I appreciated the update. After a long pause, when I finally felt I was alive again. I sighed, ‘It’s not safe for you, Jake. Leave. Now.’
Unable to refuse my order, he walked away, leaving alone again, but this ti, I was able to think again.
They weren’t dead—that was good to know. In the back of my mind, I had hoped that I had been able to flee the scene fast enough to spare them. I had felt their surprise when I’d started to drain them, but I hadn’t felt the terror and anguish I usually did when I killed soone.
It was reassuring to know that they were okay. Especially the girl. After all, Mother and Jake fully understood the danger being near , but Ciana had no idea. She was probably still confused about what had occurred.
I sat on my bed and started ditation. As my mother suggested, in order to be able to leave my room again, to be near people, I had to get a grip on my emotions.
After Jake’s visit, I was able to do that again.
The dreamberry should have worked, but why did this occur?
Was there sothing wrong with the berry? Was it because of the crystal?
Or was this because I lost control of my emotions like Mother suggested?
I quickly ruled out the issues with the berry and the crystal. I’d used the berry many tis before and this never happened. With Mother controlling the crystal, I doubt it was the cause.
So the only reason that I’d lost control was that sothing or... soone had stirred up enough emotion in that even the dreamberry lost its effectiveness.
I knew the answer almost imdiately. Only one woman could make feel such over-the-top emotions.
My mother.
Yes, it was the bitterness and longing that she had stirred in that had made feel this way. That was also coupled with the anger I felt at her betrayal and I was still shocked by what I found out from Cedrick a few days ago.
It was the only thing that made sense.
Once I ca to that conclusion, I was able to focus on calming myself down.
After a few days of solace, I thought I might be safe to go out around others again, but I had no way of knowing that for sure.
A knock on my door drew out of my thoughts. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, knowing it was Jake again.
He had co to report to every day, but I hadn’t allowed him to co in yet.
“Alpha, please open the door,” he said. “It’s been days. Let see that you’re alright.”
“It’s still dangerous, Jake,” I told him.
“Listen, we both know I wouldn’t even be alive if it wasn’t for you. I trust you, Alpha. I know you won’t hurt .” He sounded so confident, it was hard not to think he was right.
As much as I wanted to live in complete isolation for the rest of my existence, I couldn’t. I still had things that I needed to accomplish, and therefore, I would have to face soone again soti.
Climbing over the broken furniture and the rest of the ss I’d made, I headed for the door, pushing the bookcase out of the way so I could open it. I was a little lightheaded from not having eaten in so long, but I ignored it.
When Jake walked in, he took one look around and said, “Well... I guess you got that out of your system,” and then laughed.
I responded with an exhausted smile. I could see that he was trying to lighten the mood. “How are things out there?” I asked him.
My Beta shrugged. “About the sa as usual. Your mother has gone back to her palace, probably feeling smug about the whole thing. The won are wondering where you are and if you are okay. A few of them are grumbling about how it’s not fair that they never get to see you but so of the other girls get to spend so much ti with you, probably aning Brook and uh, what’s her na.” He winked at , and my stomach flipped over. He thought he was being cute.
But I couldn’t forget her na. “How is she?” I asked him, folding my arms across my chest.
“Brook? She’s great. When she heard I didn’t feel so well, she baked a pie. Best pie I ever had. Those peaches were so plump and juicy.”
I glared at him, and he laughed. I did think it was funny, but I wasn’t about to let Jake know that. It might encourage him to keep being ridiculous.
“Ciana is doing much better,” he said, putting his joking aside. “She’s been out and about for a while now and seems like her usual self.”
I almost smiled. Just thinking about her made a pleasant feeling settle into my chest like nothing I’d ever experienced before. I pictured her beautiful face in my mind’s eye and wondered what she was doing at that very mont. Knowing her, she was probably outside with the animals, fake sword fighting with a bear or teaching my python a new trick.
“She wants to see you.”
Jake’s statent cut through my thoughts, and any trace of a smile I might’ve ford faded away.
It was out of the question.
I didn’t want to dig deeper for the reason, but I did know it wouldn’t be a good idea for her safety.
When we were in the illusional realm created by the Moonlit Crystal, I hadn’t been worried about hurting her, because none of us had our physical bodies there, only our consciousness was brought into that world. I couldn’t drain anyone there.
But this wasn’t the imaginary world. This was real—and here, I hurt people when I didn’t an to.
I’d already hurt her once, and the dreamberry was obviously not strong enough to counteract the emotions my mother had stirred in .
Taking a deep breath, I steeled myself and shook my head. “No. There’s no need for her to see .”
“Alpha,” Jake pressed, “I’m sure everything will be fine. It might have taken the dreamberry a little longer to work this ti. What harm could it do? Can’t she just see you for a few minutes? She just wants to make sure you’re alright.”
Jake wasn’t there when Cedrick explained the relationship between my emotions and my power. His argunt seed sound, and it was tempting for to throw caution to the wind and give it a try. After all, if she stayed on the other side of the room by the door, I could just order her out of the room if I started to feel like I might hurt her.
But then, an image of her smile flashed before my eyes, and I knew exactly what I needed to do. This wasn’t a ga. There was no need for to take any risk. There was no need for her to deal with my problem.
“No,” I told Jake. “Under no circumstances will I see her. In fact, now that I have the dreamberry, her task is complete, and I will not be needing her services again.”
Jake’s forehead creased as he studied my face. “What are you saying, Alpha? Are you certain that you are able to handle all of this on your own, that you won’t need her help to secure more dreamberries, or just... to make you happy?”
I knew what he was trying to do, but I couldn’t let him sway . She was just another girl to after all, no one important.
“I’m saying, tell her to leave. Now.”
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