*Zara*
I could do nothing but watch helplessly as Noah strode out of the room and shut the door firmly behind him. As soon as he was gone, my hot rage and frustration simred down, and the room felt extrely cold without his presence.
I wondered what had happened throughout the course of a single day to make Noah turn from sweet and hopeful to hateful.
I blinked, my mind replaying the events of that sa morning when he had looked in the eye with so much devotion and vowed to get his mories back so that we could go back to the way things were, to go back to being the couple that we were before.
That couple seed so far away now, I realized as tears of confusion and hurt filled my eyes. I was still trembling slightly from the rage that burned in Noah’s normally calm blue eyes. Later, they had seed more like icicles, ready to freeze where I stood.
I had been growing more depressed as ti went on without Noah’s mories of our relationship, and things had just started to look up before he barged in and started accusing of selfishness and betrayal.
It took a while to shake myself out of my shocked stupor, but I eventually was able to force myself to go downstairs for dinner. Everyone had arrived already, except for Noah.
“Good evening,” I murmured to both our sets of parents.
Thankfully, Noah’s family was too preoccupied by my parents.
“We just adore Drogomor,” my mother gushed. “We are so pleased that Zara has found such a beautiful place to build a life in.”
“Yes, we can’t thank you both enough for the fascinating tour,” my father added.
No one seed to notice that I was out of sorts, and I was extrely grateful for that.
“Where is our son-in-law?” my mother asked, turning to look at .
“Oh, the boy is taking his duties as future Alpha very seriously,” Alpha Issac said with pride. “He must be off taking care of so important matters of so sort.”
I did my best not to scoff at that comnt, ducking my head slightly. Little did they know that Noah was actively avoiding .
“Forgive ,” I said suddenly, standing up from the table. “I’m feeling a bit run down from my busy day. I think I’ll turn in early for the night.”
The table’s occupants didn’t seem concerned by my sudden announcent. They smiled politely at and bid goodnight before returning to their animated conversation.
I waited up for Noah that night, sitting in yet another extravagant nightgown that was forced on by Tallula. I sat with my hands folded, staring down at the smooth white flooring beneath my bare feet.
I told myself that I would apologize as soon as he walked through the door. Maybe I hadn’t been in the wrong exactly, but I had let my temper get away from . I should have tried to explain things more clearly without my emotions controlling .
The hours ticked by and when the moon was in the middle of the sky, I realized that Noah probably wasn’t coming back tonight. It made my chest ache as I thought about how he was so disgusted with that he couldn’t stand to see at dinner, and that he needed even more ti away from tonight.
A part of wondered where he could have gone, fearing that he might have left for good and wasn’t coming back, but I quickly dismissed that thought. I knew him well enough to know that he would never abandon his pack. He would be back, but I wondered what he would say to when he did return.
I crawled into bed alone that night and fell into a restless sleep.
***
Noah did return that night. He was in our room when I woke up, getting dressed for the day. I was tempted to ask where he had been and how he was feeling but instead, I attempted to apologize. I watched his back as he pulled on a shirt, but he didn’t turn to face .
His gruff voice reached my ears after a long tense mont. “Let’s just forget about it.”
I doubted I could do that and started to say so and to point out that we should talk this out, but I held my tongue when he finally turned toward . His face looked like it was carved out of stone.
I buried myself in my studies and learning my duties as future Luna after that cold morning. I did my best to give Noah space, hoping that he would eventually warm up to again. He seed to be doing the sa thing, burying himself in pack affairs.
But neither of us had to do much burying. The amount of work seed to be suffocating us both. It made avoiding each other that much easier.
I wasn’t the one truly avoiding him. Each ti he was in close proximity, either during dinner or at night when we both went to sleep in our bed, I would send him furtive glances, waiting for him to try to bridge the wide gap that had suddenly appeared between us.
Days passed and he was still ignoring . After a few days of waiting and hoping, my heart sank when Noah turned away from as we lay down to sleep for the night. Normally, he was on his back, or before we weren’t speaking, facing .
His turning away from felt like the final nail that sealed my coffin shut.
Fear gripped as I stared at his back through the dim lighting of our bedroom. Although Noah was just an arm’s length away from , I felt more alone than ever.
Questions invaded my mind. What if now that his mories were returning in fragnts, Noah now saw as the fraud that I was—an imposter Luna and failed matchmaker?
The next morning was rough as I tried to focus on my studies with Luna Estella. Noah’s stepmother was a kind woman, but she could beco an unyielding instructor when I got an answer wrong when she asked a question about Drogomor’s history or about what to do during a specific kind of dispute.
I sucked in a sharp, frustrated breath when I was scolded once again for not rembering the na of the very first Luna of Drogomor. It could have been my imagination, but it felt like the workload expected of had doubled since our last lesson.
My demanding studies on top of my emotional distress were becoming too much for to handle. I could feel my body starting to shut down. I was hardly sleeping most nights, and my appetite had disappeared as well. It left weak and lightheaded.
Finally, after a few days, Luna Estella seed to sense my fatigue and distress. I had been sitting at the large desk taking notes when the Luna bent her head slightly so she could look at my face.
“Is everything alright, Zara?” she asked.
And just like that, the stern schoolteacher was gone and replaced with a warm, maternal figure. The change was so jarring that I grew a bit dizzy.
I shook my head and forced a smile onto my face. “Nothing is wrong,” I denied.
Luna Estella’s eyes narrowed slightly, and she gazed down at , clearly not believing in the slightest. “While a good Luna exhibits strength and poise at all tis, there will co monts when she must communicate her worries and fears before they overrule her and cause her to act rashly.”
It was really all the encouragent I needed to start ranting about my frustrations and fears. Over the past week or so, it had felt as if I had been barely holding on to the last string of sanity I had left. It was to the point where anyone could have asked how I was doing, and I would have likely started to break down and tell them everything.
I was lucky that it was the stern but kind Luna who asked first before I poured my heart out to so random guard or servant.
My hesitation was brief as I realized that I was currently talking to Noah’s stepmother about the cause of my distress and anxiety but sothing about her, possibly her warmth and compassion, made feel like she was the best person for to go to for comfort and advice.
“Ever since we were reunited, Noah has been giving whiplash with his infuriating hot and cold attitude,” I said, my voice rising with each word. “One second, he acts like he is completely captivated by , and then out of nowhere, he starts to treat like he’s extrely repulsed by the re sight of !”
I paused for a mont and glanced at Luna Estella, but she was just watching calmly, her deep eyes telling that she was listening to just as intently as she was looking at .
“I know that I’m lucky to be here and that taking on the role of Luna is a huge responsibility and an incredible honor, but it’s just been too much lately with everything else going on. I can’t help but feel like I’m trapped and playing a role I am not suited for.”
I felt tears prick the backs of my eyes and I dropped my head to hide them. I bit my lip hard before lifting my head, ready to see anger in Luna Estella’s eyes. But her heart-shaped face was sympathetic and a little sad. She set a hand on mine where it lay clenched on the desk.
“I’m sorry you’re going through all of that, Zara,” she said gently, and I could tell that she really ant it. “I know that my stepson can be a bit thick, and he is still healing from losing his own mother in a lot of ways.”
I winced, knowing that this was true, but it didn’t make anything better.
“I’m definitely not excusing his actions,” she said quickly, seeing my look. “He should be better, but it will sadly take a lot of ti and patience, which is why I must implore you not to tie all of your happiness and self-worth to how that boy treats you.”
I couldn’t help but smile slightly, despite the whole situation. Luna Estella sounded like she loved her stepson dearly but was also frustrated by him at tis in the way that a mother figure could be toward a silly boy.
“You must nurture your own needs and goals first,” Luna Estella went on, squeezing my hand in a maternal way. “You carry within you the next heir of Drogomor—that alone makes you powerful and important.”
I winced again, for a completely different reason.
Noah’s stepmother didn’t seem to notice. “Focus on that precious life that is growing inside of you rather than pining for unreliable male approval.”
I nodded slowly, knowing that she was right and that I did need to focus on myself for the sake of the baby, but I couldn’t help but feel even more pressure after our little chat.
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