Chapter 187 – 188: You Owe Happiness
The person you yearn for can’t give you any promises, so you finally understand how happiness is sothing you can’t seek even if you wish to. But why still flutter like a moth to the fla, clinging on for a lifeti?
Perhaps it is just as Li Mochou often hums softly, “What is love in this world that compels one to vow life and death to each other?” How can one person fully comprehend the most complicated thing in the world?
There is soone who taught you how to love, but he doesn’t love you anymore.
There is soone you keep waiting for, but he has forgotten about you.
There is soone who wants to leave, and you don’t retain him at all, because you gradually understand that retention is futile—what you can offer is only freedom.
You think that as long as you leave nonchalantly, there won’t be much pain, there won’t be any clinging. Yet, why would you suddenly fall silent in a noisy crowd, and why do you break into sobs halfway through a song? You don’t know what you’re waiting for, don’t know what you’re clinging to; the persistent reflections of the past can’t be swept away from your mind.
The person who loves you has few demands—she can look at you when she misses you a lot, and talk to you when she feels lonely. That’s all her happiness.
If you make a hasty decision out of obsession, you can leave, but please don’t go too far. Don’t rush to define each other, don’t hurry to draw boundaries. Turn around and see if she’s still there.
Be kind to the person who loves you, the one who tries to keep up a brave face and lies to you about having moved on because she doesn’t want you to worry—the one who silently pays attention to you and has never left. If you’re still hesitant, if you can’t help thinking about her, if you still care about her every frown and smile, consider giving her a chance, and give yourself one too.
In love, if both people are passive, a beautiful relationship could eventually be worn away by ti. It’s not that the two aren’t compatible, but both are accustod to waiting—for the other to make the first move. Those lacking patience choose to leave, leaving behind only regrets.
So, love is life-renewing, like an undying ember that only needs a bit of kindling to burst into a dazzling fla once more.
Jimmy Liao says:
When you liked , I didn’t like you.
When you fell in love with , I started to like you.
When you left , I ended up loving you.
Did you walk too fast, or could I just not keep up with your pace?
We missed Noah’s Ark, missed the Titanic, missed all adventures, both thrilling and non-thrilling, and we’re going to keep missing out. But please, allow to say these selfish words.
Years later,
If I am not married,
And you are not married,
Then…
Can we be together?
Rember the happiness you owe ! Stay updated via Novgo
As Xiao Han writes the last sentence, his eyes are already moist, tears slowly sliding down his cheek, streaming across his nose bridge to drop drip by drip from the tip of his nose. They land on the examination paper, right on the character ’happiness.’ The black ink spreads, making the character look exceptionally large, like it’s bolded.
Putting down his pen, Xiao Han is still softly sobbing.
Tears flow like a dam bursting its banks.
“Student, what’s wrong?” a female teacher approaches and softly comforts, “Are you too nervous?”
“I…” Xiao Han chokes up.
“If you’re nervous, just take a deep breath,” the teacher says gently. “But don’t suppress your emotions too much; it can backfire. Understand?”
“Hmm!” Xiao Han nods.
“Do your best on the test; don’t be nervous!” the teacher gently soothes him and then leaves. She didn’t see that Xiao Han had already finished all of his answer sheets.
Wiping away his tears, the sourness and pain in Xiao Han’s heart seem to have been gradually vented out with the writing of this essay. He finally relaxes, and easily completes the morning’s Chinese exam. The earlier questions should have a high correct rate, and as for the essay, Xiao Han had written his feelings.
Whether he could score high, he did not know; even if he did not, he accepted it—he had expressed his feelings, told of the oppressiveness in his heart, and laid bare his emotions.
At that mont, Xiao Han slowly stands, turns, and walks away.
In that instant of departure, Xiao Han silently vows in his heart: Chen Zihan, please rember, you owe happiness!
Whoosh…
All at once, heads turn to look at Xiao Han. He was too quick. He squished completing all the test questions and writing the essay into just an hour and a half. At that ti, many people had not even started their essays, and the entire exam had two hours. He managed to finish all the questions and even check his work before handing in the paper.
“Focus on your own test papers, don’t get distracted!” the large teacher, who was scanning the room like a machine from the lectern, reminds them and then commands, “Everyone quiet down!”
Soon, everyone fell silent and continued to bow their heads and write their own papers.
Xiao Han walked out of the examination room.
Liu Jini was the first to notice that Xiao Han had left the examination room. She hurriedly went to et him and asked, “My God, you… why did you co out so soon?”
“Yeah!” Xiao Han nodded and said, “I finished, so I ca out.”
In fact, Xiao Han still felt sowhat suppressed inside. Even though he had expressed all his pent-up feelings in his essay, there was still so discomfort in his heart. However, it didn’t matter. When he walked out and saw Liu Jini’s concerned face, the pressure in his heart dispersed.
“Didn’t you take the ti to carefully review it?” Liu Jini looked at Xiao Han reproachfully, apparently thinking he had co out too early.
“The earlier questions were no problem!” Xiao Han smiled and said, “The key was the essay. I hope I can at least get a passing score.”
“What’s wrong with the essay?” Liu Jini asked anxiously.
“I’m afraid… it might be too gloomy,” Xiao Han said with a bitter smile.
Indeed, given his mood at the ti, Xiao Han was indeed very gloomy, and his writing was rather sad. Throughout the essay, a sense of sorrow pervaded. His Chinese teacher had told him that essays must be positive and optimistic, sunny and aspirational. Such essays could easily score high, but a gloomy, sad essay would not.
Therefore, Xiao Han was not very interested in his essay, nor did he have much feeling for it.
“Sigh, how could you write sothing so despondent?” As soon as Liu Jini heard this, she imdiately felt sowhat disheartened.
The promising candidate for Peking University and Tsinghua, the anticipated top scorer of the college entrance exam from LJ City, was it all going to be for nothing now? In fact, Xiao Han didn’t really care about these things. At the ti, he only wanted to write about his own feelings and had never thought about scoring high with such an essay.
“Teacher Liu, don’t worry. Even if I don’t score high on the essay, at least I’ll get a passing score,” Xiao Han said with a smile. “There are still lots of subjects to co, and I will make up the points in those.”
“Well, alright then,” Liu Jini nodded helplessly.
If one loses too many points on the essay, it’s a big disadvantage in the overall college entrance examination. Unless one could score full marks on the English, mathematics, and the science composite exams, which was easier said than done?
Liu Jini let out a helpless sigh. Looking at Xiao Han’s retreating figure, she had a feeling that he was not quite himself today.
Xiao Han might have left the examination room, but he did not leave the school. Until the end of the exams, any student who finished early had to stay together in a conference room. This was to prevent any student who finished early from leaking the exam questions or answers.
Inside the conference room of First Middle School of LJ City.
There were already reporters gathered inside the conference room. When they saw Xiao Han co in, they flocked towards him.
“How do you feel about the exam this ti?”
“Were the questions difficult?”
“Can you tell us, what was the essay question for this year’s Chinese college entrance exam?”
The reporters surged forward, microphones in hand, asking curiously. However, Xiao Han kept his head down, squeezed through the crowd, and then sat alone in a chair near the corner. The reporters were dumbfounded and confused.
“Could he… be the first one caught cheating?” whispered one reporter.
“Possible!” nodded the other reporters.
So reporters had already started writing dispatches about the first case of cheating in this year’s college entrance exam.
However, they didn’t send out the story, as they had not yet obtained confirmation. Fortunately, ten minutes later, another male student entered the conference room, and the reporters once again sward him, bombarding him with questions. This student, however, seed to enjoy the attention and answered all their questions.
Before long, more and more people ca in.
No one paid any attention to Xiao Han in the corner. Everyone gathered together, comparing answers and discussing the exam questions. So were also discussing the essay topic.
“This ti’s essay was hard to write.”
“Tell about it, an essay on happiness, damn, working to the bone every day, where’s the happiness in that?”
“Heh, definitely tough to write!”
Many found the essay challenging. It was mainly because contemporary students couldn’t really feel happiness. They hadn’t been in love, so they couldn’t experience the joy of romance. They were in the midst of adolescence, rebellious, and couldn’t appreciate the happiness of family. So, asking them to write about happiness was indeed difficult.
If it weren’t for Yang Xiaoyan spilling that secret today, Xiao Han might not have written his essay like that. Perhaps he would have taken his mother as a starting point and written an essay on the search for happiness. Family love always feels real, warm. It would have been easy to score high marks.
Before long, the bell signaling the end of the exams rang.
The students in the conference room imdiately stood up to leave. Outside, many people began to co out of the classrooms, in twos and threes, in small groups, heading out of school.
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