"I only wanted to make you mine as soon as possible to ease my yearning. But I did not even consider you were already yearning for soone else. I got in between you two instead and forced you apart. I should have competed with him fairly for your love. I should have tried getting your attention too instead of suddenly sending a proposal that left you with no choice but to marry ," Ferdinand continued with regretful eyes.
[I had been so ignorant despite all the years I had lived. I am so much older than her. She had not even lived a fourth of the life I’ve lived. And yet, just because I realized I wanted her to be with my whole life, I decided to obtain her without a care about what she wanted. It was simply just all about .]
"I was so insistent on marrying you as soon as possible so Raymond and Alwin were just set on satisfying what I wanted. They just moved according to my desires without regard for how you would have felt. We only realized we had trapped you in Valeria like captured prey after you decided to speak out," Ferdinand sighed deeply.
"I... That’s..." Arabella didn’t know what to say anymore.
Her husband had said so much that she doesn’t know which to address first. But he seed to still have a lot to say. She decided to listen to everything he said first.
Moreover, it was indeed true that in her previous life, there was a ti she had felt like she was captured prey. That she was akin to a prisoner or a trophy.
She was only able to see differently now because of all the things she had learned about them. She could hear his thoughts too and Ferdinand himself had changed so much in this life.
"Thank you for speaking out about how you felt after what I had done. If you didn’t talk, I would have remained in the dark about my mistakes and kept doing them. Now, I can change and improve so I can make you happy in the future," Ferdinand kissed the back of her hands.
Arabella realized Ferdinand asked her the question about their wedding so he could pour his heart out honestly like this.
"If you had remained silent and suffered through it all, I wouldn’t have known how much I was hurting you. I wouldn’t have realized I was selfishly craving for you to love without putting in the effort to make you like . All I did was hurt you instead."
[It was horrifying. If I was still just thinking about until now, she would have been hurting and suffering so much longer. All I did was break her heart and be her captor, and yet, she was still considerate and accommodating to this whole ti. I had been such an idiot.]
"I cannot go back before I committed my mistakes, but I want you to know I realized now that I shouldn’t have married you that way. I truly am deeply sorry for hurting you and making you suffer. I swear, I am determined to make up for all the mistakes I committed and try my best to think about your feelings and make you happy this ti."
Ferdinand remained on his knees as he asked for forgiveness. His eyes searched hers and waited for her response.
Arabella gulped as Ferdinand reflected on his past actions.
She was so touched that he felt this way instead of being angry at her for the words she had uttered before. He truly does care about her deeply. Probably, much more done than he did before to be able to think about her feelings too.
’Right. Of course. Even in our past life, as ti went by, Ferdinand probably regretted the way he married but did not know how to apologize. But this ti, he had beco more vocal and open, so he is apologizing to like this.’
Speaking with Raymond and Alwin about divorce months ago actually triggered Ferdinand to begin thinking about her feelings too.
It was an unexpected outco. It was not what she planned but it ended up as such a fruitful action that triggered a change in both of them and their future.
Due to it, Arabella learned the truth about Ferdinand. And it also made Ferdinand think about her feelings and reflect on his actions. Even Raymond and Alwin apparently reflected as well.
And she learned from his thoughts that Ferdinand did not want her to think the love he professed was a lie so he was telling her all this now while they had the chance to speak like this.
"I only understood I had been delusional and so full of myself thinking you would be happy with when I did not even make the effort to make you like after I had to listen to Raymond scold and lecture for hours. Your other suitors could have provided whatever I could give you in Valeria. They could have made you happy on your wedding day."
[It’s true this was my first ti falling in love so I was inexperienced. But it wasn’t an excuse. She’s so much younger than and she was just enjoying her youth when I stole her for myself. Icarus would have certainly treated her better. He would have been more considerate of her feelings.]
’Icarus? Why was he thinking about Icarus again?’
[But even to him. I would never give up Arabella.]
"Still, even after all the mistakes I did, I still yearn for you and your love. I do love you and want to keep you by my side. I am truly sorry for everything."
And his heartfelt apology resonated with sothing deep inside Arabella.
If she was being honest, she probably needed this apology to save her soul.
She did not even know it herself, but her heart had been waiting for this... She had been for several long years.
And now that she finally received it, she can no longer bla Ferdinand or be angry at him for the way he married her... Because, after what were eons to her, he had finally apologized.
And this ti, hopefully, they can both work together to be a good husband and wife.
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