The day passed in a soft, sleepy haze, like a dream that refused to end. The kind of dream you never wanted to wake from. The wedding was behind us now, full of flowers, golden sunlight, and laughter and here I was, sitting in one of the cozy compartnts of the Hogwarts Express, curled up with Petunia and Severus. We were surrounded by crinkled wrappers and half-eaten sweets from the trolley Sugar Quills, Chocolate Frogs, and Peppermint Toads. Petunia had her head resting in my lap, and I gently combed my fingers through her hair, over and over again.
Her hair was silky and soft, the color of burnished bronze in the fading light. It glinted with every stroke. Even that looked perfect on her. Everything about her was flawless. There was no ugly to be found in Petunia Evans. Not in her appearance, not in her manner, not even in her soul. She was kindness. She was light. She was the kind of person you couldn't hate even if you tried. And I had tried, once or twice, when envy had crept in and wrapped its fingers around my heart. But it never stayed. Because she always lted it with a look, or a word, or a laugh.
She was talking now, softly, animatedly, to Severus. I only caught half of it — sothing about Emline writing to her, saying she needed to explain what happened, because it was apparently the topic of conversation across the entire wizarding world. Petunia laughed a little, burying her face briefly in my knee, and Severus sighed in that dry, amused way of his.
"Well, there's going to be a lot of explaining to do," he said, his voice rich and calm.
Petunia giggled again, the sound warm and real and effortless. I watched them just watched and felt sothing tight coil gently in my chest.
Severus looked so at peace. His posture was relaxed, his dark eyes soft as he smiled at her. There was sothing dazzling about seeing him like this without the weight of exams or expectations pressing down on him. He was brilliant, of course. Brilliant at everything. He had a gift for Potions, was sharper than anyone else I knew in a duel, and he flew like the wind better than half the Ravenclaw team. He was polite and composed, elegant even. And he was... kind. Not always, not to everyone but when he was, it ca from sowhere deep and sincere. He was the kind of friend you could trust with the things that mattered.
But most of all, he was caring. And I knew I knew just how deeply he cared for my sister.
He didn't say it. He never would. But the way he looked at her gods, the way his eyes lit up when she laughed, when she teased him, when she did sothing as simple as hand him a sweet it gave him away. It was the kind of look that ca straight from the soul. I had never seen anyone look at like that. Not even once. But I saw it now, and I couldn't deny it. He would do anything for her. Everything, if she only asked.
And Petunia she didn't see it. She had no idea. She was just being herself. Warm. Honest. Unthinking in her affection. The kind of girl who had never needed to learn how to compete for love, because love had always found her on its own.
I wondered, quietly, if that was why it hurt sotis to be her sister.
I kept brushing her hair, fingers gentle, my face neutral. But inside, there was a quiet ache.
And then she looked up at , eyes bright, her voice light as a breeze. "We should go to Hogsade together this weekend," she said. "Just the three of us. Or maybe just us girls, if you want."
I blinked, startled for a mont, then smiled. "Sure. Let's do that."
She sat up, suddenly, and wrapped her arms around with one of those hugs that took the breath out of you. "I love you, Lily," she whispered fiercely. "So, so much."
And just like that, the ache faded.
Because how could I ever stay envious of soone like her? How could I be anything but grateful to be loved by soone so good?
I hugged her back just as tightly, burying my face in her shoulder, and whispered the words she deserved to hear: "I love you too, Tuney. Always."
And I ant it even if part of would always wonder what it might feel like to be loved the way Severus looked at her.
I don't know when it started. Not exactly. Maybe it was the way he looked when he was focused on a book brows slightly furrowed, lips parted, completely unaware of the world spinning around him. Or maybe it was the way he spoke when he explained sothing complicated patient, articulate, with that velvety voice of his that always made my thoughts slow down just a little. Or maybe it was just... him. The quiet loyalty. The unexpected jokes. The warmth he never showed easily, but that glowed like firelight when he did.
It wasn't a crush, I told myself.
It was just... I liked talking to him. That was normal. He was clever, and thoughtful, and when he said my na — just Lily — it sounded soft and important
Still, I didn't think anyone noticed. I was careful.
But clearly not careful enough.
Because one evening, after Charms, we were back in the Gryffindor dorm, and Marlene, Mary, and Alice were playing cards on the rug. I was flipping through my textbook and trying not to smile about sothing Severus had said earlier he made a joke about Professor Slughorn's moustache looking like a flobberworm with confidence issues it had made laugh so hard I snorted in class.
Marlene noticed.
"Lily," she said, all slow and sing-songy, "why do you look like soone just handed you a bucket of treacle tart?"
"I don't!" I said too quickly.
Alice raised an eyebrow. "You do, though. You're smiling all dreamy. Like soone in a storybook."
"I'm just happy we don't have howork in Transfiguration."
"You're not fooling anyone," Mary said, throwing a pillow at . "Let guess soone made you laugh today? Soone with black hair and a serious face who reads twelve levels above the class average?"
"Stop it," I groaned, hiding my face in the textbook.
"Oh, it is Severus" Marlene grinned. "You like Severus!"
I sat up quickly. "No, I don't! We're just friends. He's bestfriends with Tuney!"
"And you blush every ti he talks to you," Mary said, delighted. "And don't think we haven't noticed how you sit straighter in Potions when he's near."
Alice smiled gently. "It's alright, Lily. It's not weird. He's really bright. Kind to Tuney. He's... interesting and handso."
I hugged a pillow to my chest. "It's not like that. It's just—when he talks, I want to listen. And sotis I... I sort of hope he'll look at again. But that's silly."
"Well," she declared with mock drama, pointing a finger at like she was so kind of detective, "you have a crush on Sev."
"Stop saying it like that," I muttered, dragging the blanket over my face.
Mary giggled and chid in, "Oh no, she's hiding! That's how you know it's true!"
"I'm not hiding!" I said, voice muffled.
I groaned. "You're the worst."
They all laughed again. It was warm, teasing laughter not cruel. Never cruel. It felt like being wrapped in a soft scarf and tickled at the sa ti. I couldn't help smiling.
But then... the smile faded.
Because I sighed, and the truth slipped out, quiet and small."I know Sev's never going to like . He... he likes Tuney."
It hung there a mont.
The fire crackled in the common room hearth, and soone laughed faintly from downstairs. But in our dorm, everything went still.
Mary sat up a little. "You think that?"
I shrugged under the blanket. "It's obvious, isn't it? she makes him laugh like no one else can. And she's just so—Tuney. She doesn't even have to try."
Alice sat beside on the bed and took my hand gently. "But you're you, Lily. Don't shrink yourself like that."
"I'm not shrinking. I just... I see how he looks at her sotis. And it's not ."
Marlene, who was rarely serious for long, looked a little thoughtful. "Well," she said after a pause, "even if he does like her now, people change. Feelings change. Maybe one day he'll look at you like that."
I didn't answer right away.
Because deep down, I knew I didn't want to steal anything from Tuney. And I didn't want to wish Severus away from her either. I just... wanted to be soone he could look at that way too. Soone who made his eyes soften. Soone who felt chosen.
It was silly, maybe.
But as Alice tucked my hair behind my ear and Mary handed a chocolate frog to cheer up, I realized... I didn't want to stop liking him. Not yet.
Even if it hurt a little.
Even if it was just sothing I carried quietly, like a charm tucked in my pocket.
"Okay," I said finally. "But you lot better not go teasing him about it."
"Oh, we wouldn't dare," Marlene grinned. "But if he ever does look at you the way you want... you have to let us throw a party."
I rolled my eyes. "You're hopeless."
"Hopelessly in love with this drama," Mary said dramatically, tossing a pillow in the air.
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