Alix had dropped it out of such a blue that for several long monts, Jin could only maintain his dumbfounded look the entire ti. Finally, it was Ailun who took charge of his part of the talking.
"Pr...Pregnant?" At first, Ailun didn’t understand the significance nor did he rember where he had heard the term before, but soon he gasped with realization.
"I rember now! Is it like when Mom had Junxi in her belly?"
"Yes."
The stars glittering in his eyes intensified by a hundred tis. "I’m going to et my new cousin?"
"...Yes."
For so reason she couldn’t et Jin’s gaze but when she did, his black eyes had completely subrged and blurred within the pool of his own tears.
Ailun blinked. "You are crying just like how Dad was."
Jin had been wanting to speak for a long ti now but his voice kept betraying him.
"You..." Between the ache in his cheeks and the tears rolling down them, he was barely able to express his emotions.
"W-we are going to be parents...?"
"Yes."
The tears gushed out in full force and he covered his face between his palms. Then he pulled her into his embrace and hugged her tightly.
"I was already so overwheld with our first anniversary today. It’s so, so special to and you just made it a thousand tis more special...!"
*owww*
When the two cats seed strangely anxious for so reason as they patted their paws on Alix’s legs, Jin withdrew and was stunned to see her cry. Ailun mirrored his shock and both panicked.
"Wh-Why are you crying? What’s wrong? Is it uncomfortable sowhere? Should I take you to the hospital? No, no, I should definitely take you to the hospital!"
"Pastry aunt, don’t cry! I will protect you and my new cousin!" Ailun flared his nostrils.
Seeing Alix not speak only panicked Jin further but he forced himself to calm down. He knew he wouldn’t be of any help if everybody was high on cortisol.
He gently held her hands and said in a soothing, gentle voice, "Hey. Tell what’s wrong. Please? I want to help you."
She didn’t respond.
"Is it hurting anywhere?"
She shook her head once and he sighed in relief. At least, she wasn’t hurt.
"You said you are tired, right? Do you want to go ho and rest?"
She shook her head once once again.
Ailun made his own guesses. "Is pastry aunt hungry? Mom was very hungry too when Junxi was in her belly," he nodded sincerely.
"No."
"Is it the mood sw-...things? Mom had so too," he nodded to himself once again.
"No..."
Even Jin couldn’t think of any other reason but then one question popped into his mind. That question notched up his anxiety by several levels.
"Are you not...sure if you...wa..." his voice got more hoarse as he continued.
Alix stared at him as if boring holes into his very being. "If I what, Liu Jin?"
Her deadly warning tone felt like she was daring him to complete that question. Jin received it crystal clear and he threw his question back into the abyss before she would throw him there. He took out his handkerchief and wiped the sweat off his forehead.
"O-Of course, I wasn’t thinking that."
Ailun looked puzzled. "Think what?"
He cleared his throat. "Nothing. Sothing very aningless. Your uncle is an idiot."
Jin then softly entwined his fingers with hers. "What is it then, Alix? Trust , whatever it is, we will figure it out together."
She pressed her lips, tears forming in her eyes again. After a few long minutes passed, she said, "I...I don’t think...I will be a good mother."
Jin’s eyes blinked rapidly and so did Ailun’s.
"I keep thinking if I will..just be a disappointnt to my child like my...mother was."
Jin was stunned. "Of all the reasons, you were thinking about this?"
Alix glared. "Are you making fun of ?"
"Of course not! But the reason doesn’t make any sense. I understand what’s bothering you..."
Her childhood with Zhan Kai-Ming had left deeply buried scars in her heart. And now so of them were hitting back at her with questions and doubts.
"But that’s exactly why you will be such a great mother! You will give them all the love in the world you could not receive. You know what hurt you as a child so you will never do those things with ours. You...I an just look at Ailun and the gang. You are their coolest pastry aunt they are so proud of! They have even beco your underlings. Why do you think our child wouldn’t?"
"Ailun and the others are...different."
Ailun gasped dramatically. "Pastry aunt doesn’t love ee?"
"N-no, I an it’s different with nieces and nephews..."
Jin shook his head. "No, it isn’t. I know you will be the sa to our child as you are to them - cool, loving and badass."
Alix bit her lip. "I couldn’t even get through Shun...even though I was just like her when I was her age. I thought we would hit it off but we didn’t. If I couldn’t get through her..." tears plopped down, "how will I get through to my own child?"
Jin was confused.
Who’s Shun?
So Ailun explained it to him and he got it.
He pressed her fingers and softly said, "You cannot co to a conclusion based on just one incident. I’m sure as hell you will get to her one day. If it’s taking so ti doesn’t an you are lacking anywhere. This doesn’t speak of how you will be as a mother at all."
Ailun bead with an idea. "I will also call you Mom from now on! Because pastry aunt is the best!"
Jin smiled. "See? Do you think he would have said this if you weren’t so aweso?"
Alix’s cheeks turned redder. "I don’t know..."
Jin lifted her chin and made her et his eyes. "You might not trust yourself now, but you trust , right?"
"...Yes."
"So trust my trust in you. You are not going to fail anyone because you will be the best mom in the whole world. You are not alone, Alix. I’m there with you, so is Mom, Grandma, sister-in-laws and our whole family. Your parents too. Everything will turn out to be just fine, I promise."
The cats owed and purred, reflecting Jin’s confidence. Though so uncertainties still plagued her, Alix felt a certain burden lift off. For now, she decided to hold onto Jin’s hand and let him lead the way.
Jin smiled and kissed her forehead.
They left the staffroom and decided to take a short walk around the school before heading off to their wedding anniversary’s celebratory dinner. When they reached the playground, Alix saw Shun had now left the swing and was playing with the sand.
"Pastry aunt, let’s play with the sand too!"
She had actually wanted to observe her from a distance because she knew Shun didn’t like her, but Ailun dragged them anyway.
When little Shun raised her head, her beautiful eyes got blinded by two things - a tall, handso man and two adorable, furry cats. Her expression changed seeing Alix and Ailun though.
Her cheeks puffed up. "Why are you here! I’m playing here! I got here first!"
Jun-kun owed at her while Ai-chan rolled her body in the sand. She almost reached out to pet them but stopped herself. She coughed and averted her gaze, only to et Jin’s eyes, who was looking at her with his handso, gentle smile. She felt an arrow strike right through her heart and she lowered her head, blushing hard.
Then she saw Ailun touching her sand castle. "You make your own castle!"
"I’m helping you!"
"I don’t want your help!"
Jin knelt and smiled. "Can we join you?"
"I-I play alone..."
"But the cats want to play with you. Ailun too."
Jun-kun jumped on her thighs and yawned. Feeling his furry body against her belly shone her eyes with delight.
Alix waited for a mont and slowly said, "...They like it when you ruffle under their chins."
Shun frowned and pursed her lips. She wanted to ignore Alix’s suggestion but the cats were too adorable for her to not play with them. She hesitated at first but slowly tickled Jun-kun under his chin. In response, he rubbed his head against her cheek, purring. Her face shone brighter.
"Cute!!!"
Ai-chan, feeling left out, jumped on her head and Shun couldn’t help but laugh.
Alix then said, "That’s a good castle."
Shun looked at her and harrumphed. "I will live in a big castle one day."
"My house is a big castle!" Ailun proudly chirped.
"I don’t want your castle."
"Why?"
"I don’t like you."
"..."
Jin sympathetically patted his head.
Alix asked, slightly nervous, "Can I help with your castle?"
Shun squinted her eyes at her. Then she glanced at the cats hugging her from all sides and she lowered her head.
"Just don’t break anything..." she mumbled.
It was the first ti Shun had spoken to Alix relatively amicably. Jin placed his hand on top of her slightly trembling fingers.
I told you, right? You will get to her one day.
He saw their scope of conversation slowly and steadily increase, though Shun looked to be still on guard a bit. But Alix wasn’t rushing either.
Jin stared at everyone, imagining his own children building sand castles one day with Alix while Jun-kun and Ai-chan would roll all over the sand and make a ss. Then they would head to a ice-cream parlour and eat lots of ice-cream. His eyes slightly ached with tears.
Yeah, that will be our happy future, Yahui.
Always.
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