"Chuchu," Bai Zhixi looked at her daughter with sorrow and spoke gently, "can you talk with Mom first, okay?"
Faced with Bai Zhixi’s pleading, all the toughness that Wan Chu’er had mustered up imdiately shattered, and she couldn’t help but burst into tears, bending down to embrace Bai Zhixi.
"Mommy, please don’t go, stay with , okay? Daddy is already gone, do you really have the heart to watch beco an orphan too?"
"Without you, what should I do?"
"I don’t want to be alone in this world, I was reborn just for you, if you leave, what aning is there for to live on..."
Listening to her daughter’s sobbing, Bai Zhixi felt an imnse sadness as well, for a mont not noticing the abnormality in Wan Chu’er’s words.
She tried to reach out her hand, gently stroking her daughter’s back, silently comforting her.
Outside the sickroom, Xiao Bai touched his face and to his surprise found his hand wet with tears.
He muttered to himself, "Chuchu is really pitiful."
Beside him, Dabai frowned but said nothing.
Bai Zhixi spoke softly, her voice carrying a calming power, and Wan Chu’er finally settled down in her gentle murmur.
"You’re already eighteen, about to go to university; you’re an adult now. Why are you still crying like a child? In Mom’s eyes, Chuchu is the most capable daughter, good at studies, skilled in martial arts. Teacher An said that he’s no match for you now; you are Mommy’s pride.
Mom hopes that no matter what happens in the future, try to control your emotions, don’t get agitated right away, clarify things, and handle them slowly."
Wan Chu’er sobbed a "hmm" in response and continued listening to Bai Zhixi speak.
"Mom will always be with you, waiting with you for the college acceptance letter, through your university years, then work, marriage, starting a family, just that the way of accompanying you will change..."
She spoke of life and death so casually, as if just talking about ordinary daily life.
Wan Chu’er, however, couldn’t bear it and once again interrupted Bai Zhixi.
"Stop talking, let’s treat the illness, okay? Please, let’s treat it. Without trying, how could you know there’s no cure..."
The doctor had said, if a patient has no will to live and doesn’t cooperate with the treatnt, forced treatnt would be futile and might even worsen the condition.
Bai Zhixi held her daughter’s hand and slowly shook her head, saying,
"If it could be cured, Mom would certainly not miss any chance. When I first found out, I also asked the doctor if it could be cured, really, Mommy is not lying to you, Mommy also wants to live well and be with you.
But it’s too late, the disease was discovered too late, and by the ti it was found, it had already tastasized. Any treatnt would only inflict more suffering upon .
Mom feels that she has suffered enough in this lifeti; she doesn’t want to endure this suffering anymore. Can you forgive Mommy’s cowardice?"
With this plaintive plea, Wan Chu’er felt a sourness in her throat; she turned her head away, not looking at Bai Zhixi, letting tears run freely down her face.
...
After talking for a while, Bai Zhixi had spent too much energy and soon fell into a deep sleep.
The doctor, hurriedly brought over by Xiao Bai, checked and said it was just deep sleep, changed the IV fluid, and then left.
Wan Chu’er sat foolishly by the bed, hands tightly gripping Bai Zhixi’s other hand, her gaze steadily fixed on Bai Zhixi’s sleeping face.
She should have noticed sothing wrong with Bai Zhixi earlier, when Bai Zhixi would often not return ho for days on end.
When the ever-kind Bai Zhixi lost her temper with her for the first ti, she should have stayed with Bai Zhixi instead of obediently leaving.
When she saw the note from Bai Zhixi, she should have looked for her instead of pretending nothing was wrong.
...
Reflecting on the past days, Wan Chu’er thought she had been truly foolish.
Her eyes aimlessly wandered, perhaps when she first returned, she should have taken Bai Zhixi to the hospital for a check-up.
If the issue had been found during a check-up back then, maybe it could have been eradicated early on.
But she did nothing, instead getting involved in that pickles business, causing Bai Zhixi to toil and travel.
She rembered how during the New Year two years ago, they went back and forth to Wanzhou to trade wild goods; during that ti, they braved the wind and snow, eating and sleeping poorly, which may have been when Bai Zhixi exhausted herself.
All of a sudden, Wan Chu’er raised a hand and fiercely slapped herself.
"Slap!"
In the silence, such a loud sound suddenly echoed. Xiao Bai, who was sitting outside, got startled and quickly peeped through the crack in the door, seeing the palm print on Wan Chu’er’s face, and right away understood what had happened.
The idiot!
Without another word, Xiao Bai rushed in.
"What are you doing?" Xiao Bai snapped in a lowered voice: "What’s the use of hitting yourself? When your mom wakes up and sees your face, it will only make her feel worse."
Wan Chu’er was taken aback, yeah, Bai Zhixi would definitely feel upset when she saw it; she had done another foolish thing.
Seeing Wan Chu’er not speaking, Xiao Bai said, "This has nothing to do with you, don’t irrationally take it all on yourself. If your mom finds out, she will only worry about you more. It’s all fate."
Wan Chu’er nodded, knowing he ant well, and said in a low voice, "Thank you."
Xiao Bai pursed his lips, wanting to give her a lecture, but seeing her look as if she had lost everything, he helplessly shook his head and went out again.
After a while, Wan Chu’er thought of Xiao Bai’s words, "It’s all fate," and couldn’t help but recall Bai Zhixi’s departure in her past life; was it also due to terminal cancer then? So, in this life, she couldn’t escape this fate either?
In the last mont of Bai Zhixi’s life in the previous life, she was still nding shoes for others, the pain she must have endured...
Thinking up to this point, Wan Chu’er felt utterly disheartened.
Then, what was the point of her getting a second chance?
She tried to change things this ti, but still couldn’t overco fate; Bai Zhixi was still going to leave.
Forget it, if she has to go, let her go. Once Bai Zhixi passes, she would take her ashes, find a place, and they might et again as a family of three underground.
But where?
She rembered how in her past life she threw herself at the sharks; those sharks were really unreliable, letting her be reborn.
This ti, she must find another way; she didn’t want to experience Bai Zhixi’s death again.
Xiao Bai waited outside for a while, and hearing utter silence, he looked in through the door crack uneasily.
He saw Wan Chu’er with her upper body leaning on the hospital bed, her face calm, still firmly holding Bai Zhixi’s hand.
He sighed, thinking she had finally co back to her senses.
If he knew what thods of death Wan Chu’er was contemplating in her mind, he might have jumped up.
In the evening, when Dabai brought dinner, Wan Chu’er murmured thanks and obediently accepted the al, eating it bite by bite.
This left the Bai Brothers sowhat taken aback; she had been acting as if the sky had fallen in the morning, yet now she suddenly seed so calm and collected.
Could it be that she had co to terms with everything? Did she realize that only after eating could she have the strength to take care of Bai Zhixi?
After Wan Chu’er had finished the rice in her bowl, she looked up and noticed Dabai and Xiao Bai staring at her, so she smiled and said, "The al was delicious."
Xiao Bai now felt there was sothing off about Wan Chu’er and anxiously asked, "What are you going to do?"
Wan Chu’er, however, gripped Bai Zhixi’s hand tighter, her gaze firmly on Bai Zhixi’s face.
After a long mont, she finally said, "Stay with my mom."
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