Standing atop a bed laden with a pair of fluffy pillows and woolen blankets, Clarisse didn't hesitate to let herself fall forward into the comfort of warmth she had been long deprived of. Her bag still remained slung to her back, and the gada slipped out of her grasp to strike the floor with a low thud. Despite the luxury she had been afforded to sleep in, the rest of her outfit betrayed a much harsher journey.
What had once been a vibrant and lively dress paired with a skirt now lay rugged and dull on her body. She hadn't even tried to take off her shoes, which had been weathered by the crass terrain of Nabhon. Even her hair had lost a modicum of the bright enthusiasm she had embarked with, loose strands splitting across her back like a dismantled birdnest.
Gradually, she willed herself to move and slowly turned out, slipping her hands through the straps of her bag to free herself from its weight. Her sights settled on the ceiling, a painful reminder of what a ho was actually like. It had been many nights since she had slept without being privy to clouds and stars overhead, and she had the owners of the restaurant downstairs to thank for it.
Clarisse took a few deep breaths, once more gathering the strength of will to sit upright, and slowly lean over to her bag and retrieve her diary out of it, along with a pencil that had long since lost most of its core, rely a fraction of its original length but sohow still usable. Flipping through her diary, she found a few empty pages from days when she hadn't been able to find the ti or energy to write. She didn't think much before counting the days since her last entry and beginning to write on the next page, pouring her emotions into the notebook as naturally as water would flow.
Three months. It's been three months since I began for Homa-Kitorasa. It's been slow progress, but I'm finally at the base of the range. It's cold here, much colder than ho. The air is thinner too. I can't climb up the range before I have so proper clothes to keep myself safe. I'm also nearly out of money… even sleeping in empty galis hasn't helped much.
Clarisse looked over her previous paragraph, almost finding herself nodding off as she read through it. Shaking her head, she continued writing quickly so she could rest again.
The kinds of work I've found are pretty normal compared to the bigger cities… There's a restaurant run by a mother and son where I'm staying for the night. Elaine is a good host, she let help as a waitress in exchange for a place to sleep. Her son Valeri cooks good food… mostly dumplings. Papa would like the taste if he was here. I bet he could eat a lot of dumplings.
She found her pencil shaking slightly at the ntion of her father, but it wasn't going to stop her.
I hope Mama is doing okay. I'll tell her about their recipes when I go back ho, so she can make it and I'll help her make it too. It'll be much easier to cook things at ho where it's not as cold or dry. I know she'll like how well I can cook now.
Hunger had led her to make the most out of ingredients which would have ordinarily left her stumped on many nights over the previous quarter. She wasn't too proud of it, but it had kept her from starving. Clarisse paused again, this ti not out of tiredness but hesitation. There were words she kept shying away from, words that kept her awake at night despite her stressful attempts at sleeping peacefully most of the past quarter year. She curled her fingers around the stub of her pencil tightly, before jotting her frustrations rapidly onto the paper in her hands.
I keep thinking about who this hero is. I still have no clue who I'm supposed to be looking for, or why I have this gada with . It doesn't do anything to help … I want to throw it off a cliff after I climb the mountain and forget about it forever. Saving the world seems like a faraway dream now… I don't know what it ans. Everyone has their problems, things I can't fix alone. I can't look them in the eye when I want to say I'll save them.
By the ti Clarisse was done writing, her entire body was subtly shaking. It hurt to admit the truth, but these pages were the only place she dared to do so, her sole confidant on the journey. She had replayed the old hermit's story in her head more than a thousand tis by now, and even then she couldn't piece together what a saved world would be like - she had simply been enamoured by the idea and each ti she ventured outside to experience more of it, it only seed to be harder to understand and reconcile with.
Clarisse turned her pencil over in her fingers out of habit before being reminded that the rubber had worn out a long ti ago. Instead, she resolved to strike out whatever spelling mistakes she could find and rewrite them in a smaller font. While diligently correcting her errors, her attention returned to the top of the page where she had scribbled a date in tiny text. She let out a lanting sigh, reaffirming how long she had been gone from ho.
I turn 16 tomorrow… I was hoping to be done with all this by now. At least I know a good place to eat. Goodnight.
Carefully setting the diary on top of her bag after jotting her final thoughts, Clarisse flopped back onto the blankets Elaine had provided her with. The bed was comfortable, far too comfortable to anything she had been through. Feeling safe felt strange, almost as if she was clinging onto the paranoia and alertness which had kept her alive. Part of her didn't want to admit it, but it felt familiar.
Clarisse kicked her shoes off and slipped into the bed, tossing and turning for a few minutes as she tried to find a good position to sleep. Before she realized what was happening, a tear rolled down her cheek. It ca to her as a shock, and she quickly tried to wipe it away. But soon, more tears flowed freely down her face into the pillows in a rush of emotions.
She missed ho. She missed her parents, and she missed the carefree life she had thrown away. With a muffled sniffle, Clarisse cried into the soft pillow she had been provided, reminded so briefly of everything she had taken for granted when she decided to run away - it was sothing she had tried to not think of in favor of preserving her pride, in an attempt to convince herself that she wasn't simply so naive child who had believed the blatant fantasies of a lunatic and gotten herself into needless danger.
There was even a way out right in front of her - a mother and son running their quaint business which beca the town's hub during the evening. They had ntioned needing help to run the place without asking her directly. Thoughts raced in her head, debating the prospects of staying - working as a waitress wasn't nearly as hard or dangerous as what she was attempting, and she could stay here… far away from admitting her great mistake and yet leading a decent life.
Clarisse tried her best to contain her incessant sniffles and occasional turns within the bed as she cried, but fighting against her pride was doing no favors for her. Slumber ca to her gradually, and much like many other nights, only after she had exhausted herself thoroughly, only this ti through bottled pain and anguish.
. . .
Clarisse woke up quite late into the next morning, eyes still red from the previous night's emotional outburst. The warm temptations of the woolen blankets were torn away by the lone beam of sunlight penetrating into the room, reminding her that she was wasting precious dayti.
Although she got up in a hurry, Clarisse found herself questioning why. She had a good excuse to stay here, provided that she helped with the business and her hosts were kind enough to let her stay. Perhaps starting her own family soday wasn't out of the question. Passing thoughts from the warmth of ho plagued her mind as she made her way to the door, and slowly pushed the handle down to open it.
She was imdiately greeted by the sight of Valeri walking past, carrying what seed to be a long, rolled up object under one of his arms, and a leather bag in another. "Good morning, Clarisse!" He graced her with a short greeting despite his apparent hurry as he headed downstairs right after.
"Valeri, good… morning." Clarisse replied, surprised to see him disappear down the stairwell without even waiting to hear her complete reply. She walked into the atrium and stood there for a while, listening to footsteps rustle beneath her. It wasn't long before a pair of footsteps beca audible coming up the stairs this ti.
"Buongiorno Clarisse, co stai?" Elaine's cheerful tone greeted her as the woman made her way upstairs.
"Bene, grazie-" Clarisse began, attempting to peek down from the stairwell to see what was going on below before being tugged along by the older woman. "Huh?"
"Il bagno è da questa parte." The woman guided her to the end of the corridor before pausing to catch her breath. "Freshen up. You have a long journey." She advised the redhead, before turning away and making her way to the lower floor just as swiftly as she had arrived.
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"Grazie…" Clarisse wanted to question what was going on, but an accidental glance into the mirror inside the bathroom brought sothing much more concerning to her attention - her eyes were red as beets from crying herself to sleep, and it was hard not to see. Imdiately, she rushed back to her room to grab a change of clothes and returned to freshen up.
. . .
Clarisse had expected that the restaurant would have already been open for the day by the ti she ca downstairs, but it seed still empty. Even stranger, the pair who ran the establishnt were both seated at one of the tables, leaving the kitchen empty while they had a quiet conversation. "Hi… Mi stavi aspettando?" she asked, hoping that she wasn't keeping the establishnt from opening by being late.
"Non!" Valeri responded, swiftly getting up and walking towards the kitchen, though it did little to convince her. "We were planning to open late today."
"Clarisse." His mother spoke up, slowly getting up from the table and walking towards her. "Sei sicuro di voler andare? You could stay here today."
Clarisse felt a lump form in her throat, that uncomfortably tempting offer was yet again right there for her to accept. She held her breath and stood in place for a few monts, unable to give any answer.
"You could live here, if you liked. My mother needs soone to help with the store, and I don't know what else we'd do with the extra room." Valeri added, confirming all that hadn't been directly said yet. "You don't have to leave… custors liked you too, so this could beco normal."
That's when it hit her - the choice wasn't about what she had left behind to co here. It had never been about how hard it was to find a place to sleep, or how she would get to the next town, or even how much she missed the feeling of ho. If she chose to stop now, she would never get to experience what it was like to be sothing greater than normal, sothing other than ordinary in her life. She'd never have stories to tell other people about how she had achieved sothing in her life, and no one would rember her. If she chose to stop here, all her sacrifices so far would be for nought.
Clarisse balled her fists and took in a deep breath to keep herself from saying anything prematurely, and slowly lowered her body in an apologetic bow. "Mi dispiace, non posso. Thank you for letting stay here, and treating like family for one night, but I have to do this for myself."
Both mother and son exchanged a glance between themselves, letting out a sigh. Clarisse only realized that they had expected this to happen when Valeri walked into the storeroom behind the kitchen and brought out a large leather shoulder bag with a sleeping bag tied on top of it out, and set it down in front of her. "This is…?"
"Quello di mio marito… He was a hunter in the mountains." the older woman admitted, frowning slightly as she recalled when the equipnt had seen more use.
"It has a sleeping bag, hiking equipnt, warm clothes and so packed food we made." Valeri ntioned, furrowing his brow with worry as he looked at her. "There was a great blizzard many years ago, and it brought one of the beasts from the mountain down to us… Pa protected us, but…" he shrugged, letting the bag's lonely presence speak for itself.
"Is it really okay for to take this along?" Clarisse asked, unsure if it was right to part the family from the belongings of a loved - and now lost - one.
"I'd think he would agree if he was around." Valeri shrugged, patting the bag. "It's seen use, but it's as good as ever."
"Prottilo." Elaine spoke up, suddenly reaching out for one of Clarisse's hands as she made a demand of the girl. "You will co back alive from the mountains."
"I- I will." Clarisse initially stuttered, but resolved to take another breath and give a clearer answer to the mother, holding her hand with both hands for reassurance. "I'll co back to see you once this is all over, I promise. I'll bring the fire hero down with ."
The woman looked right into Clarisse's eyes, clutching the hands offered to her tightly for a mont before slowly letting go. "Bene… Sii sicuro."
. . .
Hiking up the trail which wrapped around the first mountain in her path, Clarisse could already feel the difference in her entourage of bags. Her hands were free, for instance - the gada which she had resorted to awkwardly balancing on her shoulder now remained firmly strapped to the side of her newly acquired backpack, while the clothes previously in her knapsack had been swapped for the extra pair of woolens beyond what she was wearing. It was a noticeable strain of weight on her person, but the warmth and security all of it provided was appreciated much more. Even with the additional load, her determination was capable of letting her maintain the sa pace as she had before.
By the ti the sun shifted to shine on Clarisse from overhead, the town she had grown familiar with had disappeared behind snowy peaks, though many more lay before her. The lting snow and ambient wildlife of the area was all that kept her company as she ventured on, only taking occasional pauses to readjust her bags and grab loaves of bread from them to snack on.
Every now and again she would hear the sound of an animal followed by the rustling of shrubbery sowhere far among the foliage. It was hard to spot anything moving between the dense forestry surrounding the trail but she kept her eyes wide open for any signs of the beasts Valeri and his mother had warned her about.
There was also the question of how deep in the mountains she was supposed to go - she hadn't found any signs of civilization since leaving the town barring the trail, and so she decided to keep to it. Occasionally, the canopy and treeline would open to reveal a much better view of the entire range around her - a picturesque, deciduous sight capped by layers of fog descending around the peaks in the distance.
As darkness began to set in and shadows lengthened within the winding trail, Clarisse gradually slowed her pace. It was partly from the obscurity of the path ahead of her, partly from the weight of her own newly acquired gear. Her stomach felt as if it had tied itself into a knot borne from uncertainty - she had expected to at least make it to whatever the next human settlent was.
She began paying attention to the terrain she was passing by, the necessity of the sleeping bag and excessive warm clothes among her items becoming more and more obvious as the cold of the night creeped up on her. Suddenly, she felt sothing fall in one of her eyes - a benign snowflake, lting imdiately when she wiped her eyes.
There were many more after the first, and soon the gradual downpour had coated the ground in a layer of snow. Clarise took her steps carefully, finding each step to be ever so more treacherous as the light of the sun faded under the horizon. It was quite easy to slip and fall, as she almost did over the course of the next hour.
Seeing an opening in the elevated trail ahead of her, Clarisse decided to soldier on despite an increase in snowfall, now accompanied by a strong gust blowing down the corridor created by the treeline on either side of her. Walking directly into the wind, she felt the chillness press against her face and hands, gradually freezing them to a sense of numbness. She was soon coated in a patchwork of individual snowflakes stuck all over her attire, coalescing on whatever surface it could find.
At the end of the tree line ahead of her was a glade, or at least what the snow had made of it - a wide open landscape which looked all the sa from where she stood. Although so far she had been walking without any certain purpose besides moving closer to an unknown destination, escaping the birch corridor revealed a welco sight - a light, quite far in the distance from where she was standing, but a light nevertheless.
Clarisse's first instinct was to begin walking towards the light, though she couldn't tell how or why it was placed there. In the darkness, she found it tough to tell what the terrain in between them held, but it ignited a fire within her to continue. A light most likely ant so form of civilization, so place where she could spend the night without fear of the wildlife.
Soon after setting her sights on the innocuous light source shining bright in the night, Clarisse lowered her gaze to what was imdiately in front of her. Fighting away the temptation to rest and pause, she quickly began stepping through the rising snow.
As if on cue against her newfound willpower, the wind began to speed up into a whistling, whirling gust. The innocent snowflakes which had so far been a minor inconvenience suddenly grew in size as the draft began evolving into a full on blizzard, slowing her progress.
"Keep… going…" Clarisse told herself, though it ca off more as a whisper compared to the onslaught of cold winds and the patches of snow it wielded with no quarter. Surely, no one nearby would have been able to hear her through the unending gusts. if they were there. Shrubs and loose stones blended between each other under the thick blanket of snow, making each step an act of trust that she wouldn't lose her footing.
Soon, Clarisse found herself trapped in a monotone nightmare - the bright light she had been following wasn't within her limited range of visibility anymore, and in its place sharp, grey snowflakes assaulted her through the tightly pulled hood of her jacket. She could feel the blizzard biting at her skin through the layers and her heart pounding outwards as if to match its intensity in equal asure.
A sudden force slamd into the determined redhead with the subtlety of a wall, throwing her off her feet and into the snow. Clarisse lay there for a mont, both stunned by and welcoming the montary relaxation her legs received from the displaced weight. She took a deep breath and got onto her knees, an affair only made more difficult by the fragile nature of the snow walls around her which collapsed on re touch.
By the ti she had finally found her bearings once more, the blizzard was ready to strike her again. This ti, treachery ca from the snow around her as she felt it move beneath her feet. At first, her reaction was to simply get up and power through it, but as she pushed herself onto her feet, the entire section of snow she was on began to slip as one.
Clarisse's eyes widened and she scrambled forward upon realizing what was about to happen, but before she could get onto her feet the snow began shifting, and soon took her off her feet yet again. She panicked and scread while desperately clawing at the snowy ground, but the blizzard quickly engulfed her in a mass of greyish-white, muffling her cry for help within its mighty gales.
In monts, everything Clarisse saw and heard beca a mass of falling snow and shrieking winds, sending her careening down the mountainside. The last thing she felt was the cold impact of a tree trunk against her torso, winding her before everything faded to black.
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