Jack had never been so clear-headed when he realized that he was not afraid of mu Yuan's death. Instead, he was afraid of what mu Yuan's death brought to him. When they separated back then, there were still many misunderstandings.
If they didn't et again in this life, he would live under the sa blue sky with him. Knowing that he was well was his second best wish, but what death brought him was the regret of their lives.
His last eting with mu Yuan was not that wonderful.
These thoughts kept pestering him and made him feel guilty, regretful, and disgusted. Gradually, it reached a dead end. He thought that he was afraid of mu Yuan's death.
Last night, when he was standing in front of the window, he suddenly thought it through.
He was afraid that it was not mu Yuan's death.
Be it him or mu Yuan, they were all soldiers. The mont they put on their military uniforms, they were prepared to sacrifice themselves for the country, especially when they were at the front line. If they were not careful, they would be killed.
He had once thought that the best ending in his life would be a brilliant sacrifice for the country.
He thought that mu Yuan probably had the sa wish.
Who wouldn't want to live if they could?
However, if they died, they had to die without any regrets. They had to look up to the heavens and bow down to the earth without any sha. This was their ending.
Their love was ranked at the back of many things, and he could no longer manage each other's love. He didn't want the only person he loved to die with regrets and misunderstandings.
Even if he was going to die, he wanted to let mu Yuan know that he loved him the most in this life. We loved each other and once held hands. He did not regret loving you, and he was also unwilling to hurt you.
We did not co to this world in vain. If mu Yuan dies at the bottom of the sea, he will never be able to forgive himself.
His illness originated from this.
Bard had treated him for so long, and the things that he had thought through and never let go of, he had actually thought it through last night without a teacher.
"Jack, is it worth it?" Bei Sen asked,"if you like n, I have many people around who I can introduce to you. Of course ... I'm not saying that Lieutenant Colonel mu Yuan isn't good. I think that Lieutenant Colonel mu Yuan is quite good ... It's just ..."
"No matter how good he is, he's not one of us!" Reyman said,"the color of our military uniforms is different. How can we fall in love?"
Ruilin was like a quail, not saying a word. He felt that ... If feelings could be controlled, it would not be love anymore. This was a private matter, and there was nothing to persuade him about. He did not treat mu Yuan as a lifelong enemy like Lehmann.
"There's no such thing as being worth it!" Jack laughed."Even if our country rotted into a pile of mud, you would still be willing to sacrifice yourself to protect it. It doesn't matter if it's worth it or not. It's fine as long as I'm willing."
It's hard to buy my willingness with money.
"I don't think Lieutenant Colonel mu Yuan loves you that much." Reyman said unhappily,"back then, we broke up and didn't look back. You've found so many excuses to communicate with him, but he just avoided eting you and didn't take you seriously at all. He didn't leave now because he wanted to cure you. When you recover, he'll leave."
"Leyman!" Bayson angrily rebuked.
Jack was still sick, so wasn't saying this to agitate him?
"It's fine," Jack's footsteps did not stop. He ran forward slowly."I know. That's why so ti ago, I was stubborn and refused to accept treatnt. I wanted to tie him up. To be honest, I had crueler ideas and many ... Crazy and vicious ideas. Every idea made want to try it out. I couldn't wait, so he would never leave ."
" For example, if he's sick, his internal organs are all injured. As long as he doesn't recuperate well, it'll be very uncomfortable when it rains and the weather changes. As long as I do sothing, Xiao Yuan won't be able to dream of going to the frontlines for the rest of his life. These old injuries won't be fatal, so he won't suspect anything. His injuries are so serious that it's normal for him to not recuperate well. It's also normal for him to have so sequelae. He can't bla . When I went to buy crabs and lobsters, I did it on purpose. I bought too much ..."
"I know that Xiao Yuan can't resist temptation. The doctor said that those things will make his wounds inflad and his internal injuries will not recover. If he gets exposed to more wind, his body will be crippled. It's fine to eat a little, but it's troubleso to eat too much. He can't eat cold food at all, so I did that ... I was angry when I saw him secretly eating a crab, but I was also secretly happy."
" I was so close to crippling him. That night, he had a low fever and his wound was inflad, but he didn't wake up. I applied dicine for him and listened to him cursing Jas in his nightmare, and then ... He shouted my na! " Jack’s eyes turned red. At that mont, he was overwheld with regret. " He said that he wanted to see before he died. At that mont, I wanted to kill myself. "
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