10.
Thursday, July 3
It was the first day back in training for most of the lads. We were at BoshCard and there was a sense of both continuity and renewal. Continuity in that we were back in the old haunts. The showers, the changing rooms, Best Bistro, our mates from the credit card company. Renewal in that we were up in the big leagues against so big-na clubs and we'd made a few transfers.
I'd learned a lesson about changing too much of the squad in one go so this year it was a few out, a few in, business done early so we could focus on maximising our CA growth in pre-season while building fitness and morale. Pretty obvious, unconventional only because other clubs were stupid, and overall it felt good, it felt right, and the squad was looking exciting.
So key players were not with us - Henri, Pascal, Youngster, and Magnus were still on their sumr holidays (with my permission and encouragent). Zach was having an Independence Day Week. Dazza, Lee, and Lee (my new right back) were due to co next Monday.
I welcod the first tears with a very quick 'welco back, champions!' speech, had individual chats with them while they ward up, then took a back seat as Jude, Well In, and Spectrum broke off into small groups to do rondos and technique drills.
Watching them was motivational, but gave a kind of restless feeling.
The motivation ca from seeing green on their player profiles. Number goes up! Of course, most of the lazy bastards had been slacking since the end of last season and had lost up to five points of CA, so this was just a case of crawling back to where we'd finished. The early signs suggested we would be back to our old levels by the ti of the Slovakia match, and that was encouraging.
The restlessness was harder to explain.
We finished with so five-a-side matches. It was a bit of fun before Saturday's friendly match, because on Monday the Brig and Vimsy were going to get the lads started on the serious business of getting fitness up. Running drills followed by running drills followed by a quick vomit break followed by hill running, with extra running for anyone who vomited on the hill.
I wasn't doing any coaching (my experints with Relationism would start soon enough) and I certainly wasn't going to be joining the running drills, so there wasn't much for to do other than to stand there and give the players the old Eye of Sauron when I felt they were slacking.
What I was mostly thinking about was the coming season. A realistic best first eleven, one that I might actually field in a competitive match, was CA 67. I could get up to 68 by leaving out Andrew Harrison and including Dazza, but that wasn't a very balanced team. anwhile, I expected our first League Two opponents, Fleetwood Town, to be around CA 90. That match would be away and we would probably get tonked, as we would in our first ever AOK Cup match - away to the Championship side Bolton Wanderers. Starting with two hamrings would be bad for morale, but if we could pick up so points in August that would quell so nerves.
The problem was that our first four league fixtures were against four of the best sides in the division. In fact, it was worse than that. The first fixture I had us as actual favourites to win was match 11 against Sutton.
So how to get so points in the first ten matches? How to make pre-season training as productive as the Phwoar Room had been?
I needed to get creative.
At the end of the session I pulled William B. Roberts aside and asked him to co in before training on Monday to talk about a new contract. His smile was heart-warming but while he was currently desperate to break into Chester's first team, it wouldn't be long until so football experts were saying he had outgrown us. How could I keep him at the club long-term?
I needed to get creative.
***
Saturday, July 5
Pre-season friendly 1 of 6: AFC Liverpool versus Chester FC
The horrible thing about positional play, especially as implented by the curse, was that players stood where I told them to stand and did what I wanted them to do. The great thing about positional play as implented by the curse was that players stood where I told them and did what I wanted.
I looked from the abstracted 2D pitch in my mind to the 3D one seen by my eyes and found that everything lined up. I slid Andrew Harrison's icon to right wing back and watched as he changed position. I moved him back and switched to 4-5-1. The players shifted.
God mode!
I swapped my left and right midfielders and watched as they drifted across the pitch.
Absolute power!
Yeah, it wasn't so bad having an antique version of Soccer Supremo in my head. I switched back to 4-4-2 and went through the old hits like slipping into a warm bath. Checking the match ratings, keeping an eye on everyone's Condition, looking at my match data (shots on target, shots off target, fouls, offsides, and so on).
We were in a 4-4-2 for loads of reasons.
First, Sandra was at the Won's Euros in Switzerland. My absolute nightmare was that she would get spotted in the crowd and recognised, as had happened to in Chile, which would trigger a chain of events where she got snatched away from by a bigger club or even - holy shit - a national team. Anyway, I knew she would want to use normal formations and not do anything stupid.Second, these were pre-season friendlies designed to get our fitness up and to ease our way into the season - no-one gave a shit about the score, except maybe the goalies and defenders. And the strikers. Okay, so people gave a shit but not .Third, now that we were in League Two we could expect every team we played to have an analyst and I wanted to make their lives hard by using different formations, putting out line ups featuring players they'd never heard of, and generally doing weird things. Which, yeah, didn't really take out of my comfort zone.Fourth, not having Youngster or Magnus ruled out 4-2-3-1.Fifth, because without Dazza and Henri my only proper striker was Tom Westwood, I was using Wibbers as a second striker and was trying to avoid the temptation of tinkering with his role. Keep things simple, Max!Finally, 4-4-2 was a formation that allowed to give minutes to loads of nervous players in positions they knew.
A major - extrely secret - goal for pre-season was to hack the curse. I wanted to win the FA Youth Cup and to do that I was including kids like Tyson and Benny in first team training and filling their boots with minutes so that when they appeared against a national team it would catapult their CA. Slovakia? More like Slov-hack-ia.
(That's terrible. Cut that.)
The sche was ambitious, crazy even, but if I could increase my youth team by five points across the board before the season had even started, we would surely be in with a chance, especially because I intended to continue the craziness until we got knocked out of the cup.
The risk was that my first team wouldn't improve by as much as they potentially could and they might get smashed up a few tis, but if I wanted to win the Youth Cup I was going to have to give minutes to young players like Noah, Chas, and Sevenoaks.
My recent experiences had made slightly rethink how player developnt worked. Yes, my young players improved by training with the first team and that improvent was faster for guys with higher PA. Yes, players improved by playing minutes and the amount of that improvent seed to be linked to factors like opposition quality, competition importance, morale, and even whether the kid had done well in the match or not.
But so of the players at the u20 World Cup had much higher CA than I would have thought possible. Foquita, for example, had CA 99, which was higher than a lot of talented teenagers I'd seen at Man United or Chelsea. How had that happened? Being picked for your national team was obviously a major boost, as I had seen with Youngster. I had to get Wibbers and Banksy into the England set up ASAP, and if there were other events that gave big one-off boosts I needed to know what they were.
For now I was stuck with the weapons I controlled - training ti and first-team minutes. With one eye very much looking forward to the Youth Cup final (to be held in May at Old Trafford, ho of Manchester actual United) and knowing I could make 11 substitutions in friendlies, I had brought 22 players up to Marine, where the semi-pro semi-socialist club AFC Liverpool played their ho matches. Wikipedia said that in 1949 the Rossett Park ground had been ho to a match between Marine and the Nigerian national team, a fact which boggled my mind. What must that have been like? They still had rationing in 1949. You couldn't get extra sugar or butter but you could get two tickets to see the Super Eagles. Wow.
Marine's pitch was a very nice 4G affair which suited our passing ga. Liverpool had an average CA of 18. In the recent past we had loaned them our young players Bomber and Bivvy (a centre back and a goalie, respectively) so I put them in the starting line up. Liverpool had also had plenty of dealings with my loan manager, Ryan Jack, so that was enough to get him a place.
Most of the squad were desperate to play. It struck that even if we got far in a couple of cups, there wouldn't be enough action to keep everyone happy. I would have to remind them, when I laid out this season's Maxterplan, that they were paid to train, not to play. I didn't feel any particular need to play against Liverpool myself, so I selected a mix of starters, reserves, and youth tears and got on with it.
What I found interesting and very positive was that the squad players who didn't even make it to the bench wanted to co and watch. Maybe they were simply checking on their rivals but the show of togetherness felt like a good thing. Our collective Morale (one of the patches had led to this number being handily summarised for ) had slipped to 4.0 (out of 7) as the euphoria of winning the National League had worn off, to be replaced - I think - by apprehension. We were going into League Two, with every single match televised, we would have the lowest budget and if we got our arses handed to us there would be no hiding place.
I'd made other decisions to keep so continuity. We wore the old kits and travelled in a hired diesel coach. New season, sa as the old season. For now.
I blinked as Liverpool's manager switched from 4-4-2 to 4-5-1. I stared at the pitch, almost snarling, as I prepared to counteract him. But I rembered why I'd picked Bomber, Bivvy, and Ryan Jack - this was a club we were friends with. They were sound lads and made our kids feel welco. I untensed, let my face soften, and licked my lips.
There would be plenty of tis I would need to get ruthless or to get up in soone's face. Not today, though. Today we were all smiles.
I checked so numbers.
XP balance: 6,772
The stash was piling up again but I wasn't quite sure what my next purchase would be. I was leaning towards buying 5-3-2, a defensive formation, because it could help us in the short term as we got pumlled by League Two sides. It was just over four and a half thousand XP and I was in no particular hurry to buy it. When I got it, a quiet word with Sandra would be enough to get the lads practising the new formation a couple of tis a week. Sandra was the best!
One interesting thing was that managing this match against a semi-pro side was giving as much XP as watching the under 20 World Cup. The baseline inco was 1 XP per minute, which was doubled because I was the manager. But last July I'd bought a perk called The Friendzone that gave 50% more XP for six pre-season friendlies. I thought it would take three seasons to earn back the cost of the perk and move into profit, but I wondered if that was true. What would I get for managing against a national team? Surely more than 1 per minute, right? Was it possible I would get a baseline of 7 XP per minute... doubled... plus fifty percent...?
I smiled. It didn't really matter. Sandra was away so there was no question of anyone else taking control of these friendlies. It wasn't exactly hard work for . There were no real stakes. It was a case of letting the lads build up fitness while I imagined Sandra telling to keep things simple. And what's simpler than 4-4-2? I knew she'd be pleased.
It was quite boring though. I looked around the bench - Vimsy, the Brig, no-one to talk tactics with. Maybe I could try one little thing I'd always wanted to see in action. I pushed Sunday Sowunmi one slot forward and set Christian Fierce to man-mark Liverpool's lone striker.
***
Sunday, July 6
Bern, Switzerland. UEFA Won's Euro 2025.
"There's a break in play here at the Wankdorf stadium with the hosts still pressing for an equaliser. It's an absolute scorcher of a day - yes, they're going to combine this injury with the water break. Very sensible. As we look around the stands, so familiar faces. There's Roger Federer's personal chocolatier. Oh, and Magdalena Blocher's English teacher. That's DJ Bobo. Who's this? Yes, I do think that's Sandra Lane, assistant manager of Chester FC's n's team. She will break new ground this season when she becos the first woman to manage in the English n's football league. I wonder what she makes of the tournant so far?"
***
Monday, July 7
The boardroom at the Deva was the perfect place to negotiate new contracts. The old wood, the plush cushions, the felt detailing that made random surfaces feel like a snooker table, it all made feel like a trillionaire. There could be 2,000 superyachts in the world. 10,000 maybe, but there were only 92 teams in the English football league and one of them was my playground. I'd been up all night eating cheese and was hyper. If anything I was too excited and optimistic.
It was ti to negotiate a new contract with William B. Roberts, which was perhaps the most important deal of the entire sumr, more so even than Foquita or Banksy. Will had brought his dad and his agent, Ruth. Failure to agree terms could lead to the lad wanting a move. He had three years left on his contract so I was in a strong position, but I didn't plan to keep unhappy players around. If we couldn't find common ground I would offer him a pay rise if he gave another year so that I could sell him for a good price next sumr, like Ronaldo had agreed with Alex Ferguson before his world-record transfer to Real Madrid.
What I most wanted was to get Wibbers to add another year to his deal, or perhaps renew at 3 1. Three years guaranteed with another year the club could add if they wanted. That way, I could expect to have him until he was 20 with years left on his contract, and sell him for an eight-figure sum.
They ca in and we made small talk. Small talk such as Ruth saying, "Max, why have you put all our trophies on this table?" and replying, "That wasn't ; they're being polished but the man ran out of polish because there are so many." Small talk such as Ruth saying, "Why are we doing this eting so early?" and replying, "Because in half an hour William's going to start two weeks of hard running and he's very quickly going to hate , the Brig, and the entire football club."
We moved on to dium talk. William said he was happy at the club, his dad was happy, his mum was happy, his talented younger brother Adam was happy.
When the ti was right, I launched into my pitch. I said I was hugely ambitious and William's profile was rising just as fast as the club's.
"We're going to be on TV all the ti. Every league match is televised and we've got Bolton Wanderers in the first round of the AOK Cup. That's a big ga in a big stadium and there's going to be plenty more of that. Ruth has started to get you so sponsorship money, hasn't she?"
William nodded. He was a much smaller personality indoors than out on the pitch. "Grindhog, yeah."
"There will be loads of that sort of thing coming. This season you need to kick on. You're 18 in March and I want you making it hard for to leave you out of the team."
"It's not ever hard for you, is it?" said Ruth. "You're a ruthless bastard."
William smiled and looked proud to have such a manager.
"Yeah, okay," I admitted. "It's just a form of words, isn't it? It's what football people say. I'm trying to be more conventional while Sandra is away so I don't, you know, go off the rails. What I an is, you've had your tutorial and now it's big boy ti. Wibbers gotta git gud. One thing that'll help is getting called up to the England setup."
"England? This season?" he said.
"Yep. There's an under 18s team and a 19s. I saw what it did for Youngster and it's a real boost, big boost. We've got to get you in there. To be honest I was a tiny bit reluctant to get your na out in the world but we're in League Two so you're not leaving here for anything lower than a Championship team and next season I'll be able to pay you decent wages." All three of them understood the implication. This season's pay would remain dogshit. I pressed on. "I'm going to use so of my considerable genius to get you called up, ASAP. Okay let's get to my offer and then I'll explain why I think you should sign it. You're on 520 a week now. You know I don't have lots of spare budget but I'll bump you to 700 a week and you'll be able to earn a bit more when we go on cup runs. I'd like a 4-year deal."
"Three's fine," said Ruth.
"Three plus one," I said, "but the one can only be triggered if we're in League One. If we're still in League Two, you'll be free to go but if we're going up I want you with us."
Ruth looked at William. She said, "I like that. What about you?"
He nodded.
"Top," I said. "You'll get increases every year, Will. This year we're strapped because of the training ground. I'm not trying to take the piss, right, you can see the money is all out there." I stood and looked out onto the pitch. "We've got to rebuild the stadium, too, but I have to balance that with paying decent wages and improving Bumpers." I smiled and shook my head. "It'll be years until we've got enough money to do everything properly but that's okay. I've got an idea. Check this out." I grinned at them. A big, cheesy grin.
"Oh no," said Ruth.
"I think it's possible - just about possible - that William will improve faster than the club. This year's fine - he's got miles to go to catch Pascal." I wasn't sure why I was talking about him like he wasn't there, so I switched tack. "Next year should be okay, too, but it's possible Bumpers won't be as good as I hope, or we lose Sandra or sothing like that and we get to the point of holding you back. That's the absolute last thing I want. Your developnt is my top priority and that's not just empty words - I've paid Banbury all your future appearance money so I can use you as much as I want. As much as you need. The thing is, though, I believe in your talent so much that I think you've got the potential to be massive. I'm talking about a transfer fee enough to rebuild this stadium and build a dental clinic bigger than the Death Star."
"The Death Star?" spluttered Ruth.
William said, "Man City's training ground."
"Oh, right."
"I was telling Brooke I wanted to sell Youngster for loads of money but keep him in the squad. Impossible, right? Well," I said, with a huge smile. I was about to pitch so absolute nonsense and I LOVED it. "We're getting promoted this season, obviously, but I'll be watching you carefully and if I think you need to play at a higher level than League One next season, I'll loan you to a Championship club. They can pay a fee. Two million; we'll give you a cut. The season after that, Chester will be in the Championship and I'll have spent that cash turning Bumpers into a wonderland."
Ruth was frowning pretty hard. "You... no. That's the wrong way round. Big clubs loan players down to small clubs. Or big clubs loan to other big clubs and get a loan fee. No-one loans to bigger clubs. That's... that's crazy."
"Why is it crazy?"
"Because..." she said. "Because no-one does it."
I slapped the table. "We'll do it. I'll do it with Wibbers and Youngster. Clubs will pay to train my players. The clubs get a top player for a season and the lads get, like, new experiences and all that, but after a year we'll be reunited and get back to slapping our way to the very, very top."
Ruth was still frowning but in an impressed way. "This is why you want a four-year deal?"
"Right. It gives a bit of space to put William's career first while making sure Chester benefit, too."
William said, "Which teams would want for just one year?"
I waved the question away. "If you keep listening to and Sandra you're going to be good, mate. Really good. I think clubs will agree to the deal thinking that after a year with them you'll be so in love with having a proper, normal manager and a big stadium and a nice training ground that you'll demand a transfer. Right?"
"And if I do?"
I shrugged. "I'm not going to stand in your way. As long as they pay what you're worth. I personally don't see it as much of a risk because here you're part of sothing unique - a club that's growing fast. Every month there's sothing new going on and it's because of your work. Your goals and your assists. Oh, I just thought of a club that might be interested. Bolton Wanderers! If you slap them in the cup they'll rember it and in a couple of years when I suggest it to their director of football he'll be interested, I reckon. Yeah, Bolton. Big club, great history. I'm looking forward to that match almost as much as the Slovakia one."
"I can't believe we're playing Slovakia," said Wibbers, dreamily, and Ruth looked up at the ceiling. Once again, her client had undermined her negotiating position.
"Max," she said. "We quite like you but 700 isn't enough. We need to negotiate that."
"No," I said. "He's going to have a breakout season and sponsors will be queuing to get involved. I was thinking I could include him in so of my BoshCard stuff. You should send him to acting lessons."
"Acting lessons?" said William, horrified.
"Just to be a bit looser on cara. I didn't actually an acting lessons. Um..."
"dia training," said Ruth.
I clicked my fingers. "That's what I ant!"
"The club should provide that," said Ruth.
"The club has no fucking money left, Ruth. Just do it so we're ready for whatever opportunities co up. Okay?"
Mr. Roberts chuckled to himself. "It's a rum old place, this. You tell our agent to spend her money on your player... and she agrees!"
I looked at William. "What do you think, Wibbers? Do you want a boring life?"
He smiled briefly, but then looked worried. "Are we still going for the Youth Cup?"
"Yes."
"Are you going to be the manager for those gas?"
"Yes."
He was still for about ten seconds, then turned to Ruth and nodded.
I reacted calmly and professionally. "Jolly good show, old chap," I believe I said. "Splendid and spiffing news."
"Max," said Ruth. "This is the boardroom. Get down off the table."
***
Tuesday, July 8
Training was gloriously chaotic.
Apart from we had 24 players in the first-team squad. Youngster was the centre of attention for his World Cup exploits. Henri and Tom were getting to know Dazza. Pascal had a badly-sunburned red face except for one large section where he had been wearing diving goggles. The goalie section was abuzz with chat, the two new Lees were being made to feel welco by Christian and Ryan Jack.
Then there was a small army of youth team players including Lucas, Tyson, Benny, Chas, and Noah.
Noah's middle brother, Michael, was there, even if he was technically a Saltney player. Ditto Vivek, who I'd invited to give him a good start to his new life as a West Didsbury man.
There were so many players that we had split them into three groups, each containing so first tears and so youth guys. Jude, Spectrum, and Well In did so light technical work to get so of that sweet, sweet green, but most of the sessions in July involved the Brig and Vimsy shouting at people.
Shouting at them to run, followed by more shouting.
The Brig had invited a boffin from the Welsh FA and together they were monitoring the GPS data from every player's sports vests in real ti. I went over to their trestle table laboratory and peered at the squiggly lines.
"Everything good, Brig?"
"Yes, sir."
"Individually-tailored, is it?"
"That's right, sir. We took baseline figures from the end of last season so we know how hard to push them. It's extrely scientific. Cutting-edge, almost."
The boffin looked up at . "Would you like to join in, Mr. Best?"
I smiled. "The Brig doesn't let . He can't bring himself to shout at . Can you?"
"So far no. One must respect the chain of command, no matter how much the chain is asking to be yanked. Are you going to be fit for the start of the season, sir? You haven't done much."
"I'm doing squash," I said. "I go squash a ball against the walls for twenty minutes. It's absolutely great fun. Very therapeutic. Charges up the ideas factory, know what I an? You go in stressed and restless, you co out with a plan. Plans within plans. Plans cubed."
"John," said the Welsh guy, as he pointed to a screen. The Brig nodded and strode away and yelled at Dan Badford. Dan's face contorted but he picked up the pace.
I drifted away from the scene. Better to leave them to it, and anyway I had very little to contribute to this part of the season. The players, while they hated the monotony and the pain well rembered the close matches at the end of last season where our fitness had turned losses into draws and draws into wins, and for the new signings this was a good introduction to Chester. Completely conventional pre-season fitness work that would make them feel like they had joined a real football club. Not like Chipper, whose first morning as a Chester player involved learning about gashrimp. Yeah, better to leave them to it.
Before heading up to my office, perhaps with a nice snack from the bistro, I checked the Brig's profile. It was by far the strangest one I'd ever seen.
John SmithAdaptability20Coaching Goalkeepers1Coaching Outfield Players2Determination20Judging Player Ability2Judging Player Potential2Level of Discipline19Man Managent20Motivating20Tactical Knowledge3Working with Youngsters20Coaching StyleFitness-basedPreferred Formationn/aPreferred Stylen/aOthern/a
He was exceptional at so things and useless at others. The ones where he was useless tended to relate to football, which you might think was a major downside in our industry but we could easily hire people to do things he was bad at. Also, he was learning. At his current rate of progress, in twenty years he would be better than Pep, Klopp, Ferguson... maybe even !
Since eting him, he had added one point in coaching, one point in judging player ability and potential, and two points in tactics. He had lost one point in Discipline, which I took to an the stick up his arse had loosened.
I wouldn't want him in charge of a must-win match against Bradford but he was the perfect man to lead the pre-season fitness sessions and just having him around was almost as good as having a sports psychologist. The young players adored him and he was a hit with the fans, too.
How do you replace soone like that?
Answer: you don't.
I walked to Best Bistro with my hands in my pockets and when I got there, I noticed our head cook Patricia eyeing carefully. She was always slightly angry with for mistreating her boys, which sohow ant everyone who wasn't .
"Trish," I said.
"Yes?" she said, gripping a spatula.
"Can you make tartlets?"
***
Thursday, July 10
Geneva, Switzerland
"Over to Michelle outside the Stade de Genève where she has spotted a very interesting character."
"Thanks, Corina. I've just caught Sandra Lane, assistant manager of Chester's n's team, on her way into the stadium. Sandra, thank you for stopping."
"My pleasure."
"What do you make of the tournant so far?"
"It's very hot, isn't it? Scoring the first goal has beco super important because teams are struggling to keep the intensity of their press."
"Who has impressed you so far?"
"Obviously Spain, Germany, and England but they have tended to get that early goal. It'll be interesting to see what will happen if one of the big nations goes behind because a lot of the other teams can pass the ball around just fine. I think we might get so surprises in the knock-outs."
"That's very interesting. And what about today? Do you think Switzerland can pull off a shock?"
A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.
"It's never a shock if the ho team wins, is it? England are already through the group stage so we will see a lot of rotation. I actually think Switzerland will win this one."
"As a Swiss I hope you're right! Is there anything in particular you think we should look out for?"
"Yes, but I want England to win so I'll keep that to myself."
"Ha ha! But you're already through."
"I suppose you're right. I'm fairly confident Lucy Bronze will be rested today and Coates is just back from a big injury and hasn't had a lot of match practice. She's a good player of course but I think this heat will kill her. I wouldn't be surprised if Eggenberger moves over to the left wing today and runs at Coates. That's what I'd do. And when England respond - too late, hopefully, from your point of view - switch Eggenberger right, Huwyler left against a demoralised player, and drop Wyss to central midfield to stop England building through the phases."
"So your prediction?"
"Two-nil Switzerland. Another prediction is that I'll run out of money before the weekend. A beer is how much?"
"Sandra Lane, very interesting, thank you so much! If we buy you a beer you can talk to us again?"
"Haha, yeah right. Sandra Lane, studio analyst! Haha!"
***
Saturday, July 12
Pre-season friendly 2 of 6: Chester FC versus Buxton
My first tears were pretty drained from a week of hard running so I mixed the squad up for the first 45 minutes. Buxton had CA 41, which was decent and actually a bit of a test for us given the state we were in.
I kept things mostly conventional in the first half, composing variations on 3-5-2, but in the second half I got quite experintal.
I switched to 4-2-3-1 but playing from a low block. n behind ball, counter-attacking, long ball.
I used Tyson as a DM because he could hit accurate long passes and put my three fastest players behind our unlikely striker, Dan Badford.
The idea was that our speedsters would collect a long ball and give it to Dan, who wouldn't look to shoot but to play a pass to another fast boy. He would basically do his normal midfield role, but thirty yards further forward.
If anyone had been around to ask what I was doing, I would have said it was an experint in ignoring player roles and looking only at Attributes and what players could actually do. It was only a few days later when I realised I was using Chester FC as a rehearsal for the Welsh regint. It wasn't entirely successful, but it wasn't bad enough to put off, either.
***
Wednesday, 16 July
Chester FC are pleased to announce that four more players have put pen to paper on improved deals. Manager Max Best said, "We're happy to reward players for their hard work and dedication to the extent that's possible and I think these new deals show that we're an attractive destination for ambitious players who want to improve."
One of the most important deals was with Eddie Moore, because he was the only key player whose contract was running out at the end of the season. If he hadn't signed, we would have had to sell him or would have lost him on a free transfer. Fortunately, he was happy to extend (one plus one) on a modest pay bump. His new packet was 950 a week, which for a CA 62 PA 75 player was more than I really wanted to pay. He was my first-choice left back, though, and if my best options were Cole or Josh, teams would quickly learn to target us down that side.
Looking ahead to January, though, I wondered if we would be in a position to accept bids for Eddie. Probably not, but there was one thing I could do to make sure I had options.
: Hi, Rory, this is Max Best. I got your number from Sticky. You played together and he said you're a top guy. You're involved in the Irish youth teams, right? You need to co and have a look at my lad Cole Adams. He qualifies for Ireland and if there's a better left back in your system I'll give you a hundred quid. I'm serious. Okay cool if you're ever around hit up.
On the topic of left backs, I gave Cole and Josh bumps from 520 to 550 a week and got them back on 2 1 with the promise that I'd look after them next year. Josh wasn't very impressed but after staying quiet for a while he simply said, "I trust you."
That got all worked up to the point I wanted to give him even more money but we just didn't have it. "I'm going to look into getting you a cut of the Josh Throw-Ins rch, all right?"
"Will that be a lot?"
"More than nothing."
"I'll take it."
Next stop was Zach. I couldn't give him a raise but I changed his deal to put all his money as a base salary and not as appearance fees and whatnot. It would help him if he wanted to get a loan or a mortgage. He was happy to extend to two plus one, which felt significant. Almost my entire squad had at least two years on their contracts, aning they wouldn't be able to leave for free.
The exceptions were Magnus and Sticky, who didn't want long deals, Ryan, who was elderly, Henri, who I was happy to let go for free at the end of the season (so he could get a big signing bonus - a thank you for being underpaid for four years), and Andrew Harrison.
Strangely, the older triplet was the only one who didn't take up my contract offer. He ca to the negotiation with Gemma, Emma's best friend, and while normally we were allies, that day she was in lioness mode. She said Andrew was going to be 24 soon and he had to take care of his brothers and didn't want to live in digs and he had played a lot of minutes and I'd made it clear that he had potential and would be a first team regular and if I was going to try to exploit him long-term maybe it would be better for his career if he ran down his contract and left for free in the sumr.
It was quite the barrage and Andrew was the last person I'd expected it from. Of course, it wasn't Andrew talking and he looked pretty uncomfortable about the whole thing.
"Well, what do you want?" I asked.
"A thousand a week," said Gemma.
For a CA 53 workmanlike midfield scrapper? "Wow. Okay so let ask around and see if anyone wants to buy you. If not, the good news is you've got a whole year to find a new club."
"Hang on," said Andrew.
"You know the way out," I said, gathering my stuff and leaving the room.
Andrew's morale plumted to abysmal. I cancelled the rest of the contract discussions, hoping that word would spread amongst the other players that I wasn't going to be dicked about by my players or their girlfriends.
I had to take a hard line because I only had nine hundred pounds a week of budget left and still hadn't talked to Pascal, Magnus, Tom, Wes, Youngster... The list went on.
I tried to get angry at Andrew. This was a betrayal, after everything I'd done for him and his brothers! But I couldn't. Gemma was right - he was getting too old to be on Exit Trial money.
***
Thursday, 17 July
I had my first encounter with 3 R Welsh, an army reserve unit of riflen, which was based in Wrexham. My plan had been to start teaching them Relationism straight away but I realised that wasn't very scientific. First we had to establish a baseline, even if it drove slightly crazy making myself wait.
The unit had a guy called Huw running the team who vacillated between being ecstatic to et and learn from a superstar footballer and being disgusted when I actually did things. The chain of command was clear, though. The Welsh FA and the army were delirious that I was doing this project and had gone out of their way to make it easy for . 3 R Welsh would visit Saltney twice a week for training, but first I had to go see them in action.
3R's setup was a lot stranger than I expected in that they played all kinds of football and never had the sa set of players twice.
This first match was six-a-side; they were preparing for a sixes tournant. Once that was over, they would switch to full-size pitches because they also played in inter-army tournants, against the police, navy, air force, dog handlers, or whatever matches got arranged for them, and were routinely slaughtered.
Not only were they statistically one of the worst teams on the planet, the soldiers and officers also got randomly called away to, like, do their jobs. If my star goalie needed to be in Germany to paint a wall (or whatever these guys did), sending him a WhatsApp telling him to get to training in the next ten minutes wasn't going to be very effective.
I allowed Huw to run the first half of the six-a-side match while learning their player profiles and what was not on the profiles, like who could play a long pass and who could stand up to the pressure of a strong press. The match was twenty minutes of hot garbage that had 3R three-nil down at the break. I took over at half ti but instead of reorganising the team on conventional lines - strikers in attack, defenders at the back - I decided to try sothing I'd been cooking up ever since my first sessions with Geraldo, and going even further back, since my first session with the Chester Knights.
I was pretty sure Off The Ball was an essential attribute for a forward, so I took the guy with the highest OTB and told him he was my new striker. There was instant dismay from Huw and the others. Not a popular choice! For the midfielders I wanted Decisions, so the two guys with the highest numbers went into the middle. Positioning was king for defenders.
It was quite a strange way of doing things and there was a decent amount of pushback, but to his credit Huw, who was being usurped by , finally snapped and told everyone to do their jobs, aning to obey .
My only instruction was for them not to pass the ball more than five yards.
A slightly grumpy set of players (with the exception of the guy who had been made into a striker) took to the pitch... and crushed! They passed the ball around pretty well, so long as they kept their attempts short. My rule already led to so interesting outcos. I an, it was all total CA 1 rubbish but the midfielders actually played the ball backwards sotis in order to follow my instruction and that led to a couple of neat triangles that ripped their opponents to shreds. (To shreds, you say? Yes.)
3R recovered to three-all before one guy, unhappy at being moved to defender, hoiked the ball long when the team had bunched up expecting a short pass. The oppo pounced, scored a quick counter, and we lost 4-3. The defender gave a defiant look as though he was proud he'd cost us the match, which I found absolutely wild.
Still, it had been an absolutely fascinating hour and I got the feeling the majority of the team were excited that I would be coaching them.
***
Friday, 18 July
Zurich, Switzerland
"At half-ti it's Italy 2, France 1, and we will talk about what we expect in the second half with our special guest, Sandra Lane. Sandra, welco to the studio."
"Thanks, Corina."
"Can we start with your background for any viewers who aren't familiar with your story?"
"Oh, sure. I always loved football but wasn't much good at it myself and I was always very interested in coaching but there wasn't much of a pathway back then so I went into teaching. I switched our P.E. lessons from hockey and netball to football and more football. I absolutely loved coaching and decided that's what I wanted to do, even if I didn't know where it would take . I did my first UEFA badges at the sa ti as a player at Manchester City and he recomnded to the club."
"So you started at Manchester City."
"That's right. With their support and with help from UEFA I progressed to doing my Pro Licence. I was quite happy at City. Actually, I was very happy there."
"It took a lot to make you change."
"Yes. Max Best is a lot."
"He brought you to Chester FC to be his assistant manager."
"Right. I'm in charge of day-to-day training, we discuss tactics, he sets the short and long-term goals and it's my job to create drills and training sessions to ensure the players are able to do what he wants them to do."
"What would be an example of that?"
"Here's one. I got an email from him the other day. He had seen a match in South Arica where one team had a goal kick and five players ran in a circle near their own corner flag - it looked like they were playing Ring a Ring o' Roses. The goalkeeper passed to the fifth one. Max asked for my thoughts on why they did it. Two minutes later I get another email. I've worked it out! But it's stupid, we don't need to do this. I had to reply, why did they do it? I couldn't understand it - it was one of the strangest things I've ever seen in a competitive match. Oh, they're testing the trigger movents of the pressers."
"Could you explain that?"
"Yes. In this match we're watching, Rizzo is the weakest Italian defender on the ball and when she gets it, that's the trigger for the French to press. They don't do it every ti because it's sweltering out there, but when they do rush the defence, it's normally when Rizzo gets the ball."
"Yes, that's clear. And so this ring had the purpose of... what?"
"To trigger a press. For example, if Italy did that today perhaps the French would rush forward when Rizzo was at the closest point to the goalkeeper. And then you would know who the opposition manager had set as the trigger. If you did it at the start of the second half you would know if the instruction had changed."
"Oh! That's diabolically clever."
"If it works, yes. I have my doubts. But in the anti Max had decided it wasn't stupid and he asked to find ti in the coaching schedule to get it ready by the FA Cup Third Round."
"Why then?"
"Ah. That's where Max gets very mysterious, even with , but I think it's because knowing what triggers a press is most useful against high-level teams. If it's our left centre-back, we might move him to the right side. It might not make a difference, but then again, it might. It's a challenge working with soone who thinks in such unusual ways, but it's very rewarding."
"And he lets you manage matches yourself?"
"Yes. I suppose you could call it part of the deal to take away from Manchester City. I manage matches when Max is sick or wants to go on holiday or if the opposition is too boring for him."
"This season - if Max gets bored - you will be the first woman to manage an English league match."
"Knowing Max, it's very likely."
"How exciting! You're smashing the glass ceiling. And no doubt soon you will be offered a senior job at a big club."
***
I paused the stream and sighed. Sandra was soone I could replace, but I didn't want to. She was almost perfect. Apart from how well our skills and personalities dovetailed, and apart from the fact she brought a healthy pink glow to the faces of gammons everywhere, her numbers - the ones that mattered - were top.
Sandra LaneAdaptability4Coaching Goalkeepers5Coaching Outfield Players18Determination15Judging Player Ability8Judging Player Potential8Level of Discipline13Man Managent16Motivating12Tactical Knowledge18Working with Youngsters19Coaching StyleTechnique-basedPreferred Formation3-4-3Preferred StylePrefers an attractive attacking style of playOtherLikes her players to close down the opposition
Since joining Chester, she had been steadily improving, adding a point to Determination and Working With Youngsters in her first season, plus ones in Coaching Outfielders and Man Managent in her second. Her preferred formation had changed, too, which I loved because it showed that she was always looking to get better. Always looking to optimise.
Instead of watching the rest of the broadcast, I closed my laptop and went for a walk.
***
Saturday, July 19
Pre-season friendly 3 of 6: Blackpool versus Chester FC
The first team had been absolutely destroyed by the Brig so I had to be very careful how I used them. The last thing I wanted was an injury to a key player, so I used a lot of kids again.
In the other matches I had done a lot of tinkering with the defence and defenders so I felt quite like doing stuff with attacking players. I started with Tom up front in a 4-1-4-1, but I moved him out of the central slot, one space to the right. I set our attacking tendency to the right and watched for fifteen minutes. It didn't work great but there was sothing really interesting about this ugly, asymtrical approach, so I kept him there and changed our attacking tendency to the left. My idea was that we would build up the left of the pitch and cross to the far post, where Tom would be lurking.
Again, not a smash hit by any ans but Blackpool were a much better team than us so I didn't get disheartened.
If anything, I was emboldened to try more things. I went to 3-5-2 and moved the left midfielder up one slot for five minutes before putting him back and repeating it with the left-sided CM. I went across the midfield looking at all the options and testing how they felt. Moving the central midfielder forward felt best, as you might expect, but the next best was when the guy on the right of the three central players was moved forward. It left a big hole in our lines, true, but Blackpool didn't like players popping up in that particular zone, not one bit.
So rapid experints made think that Pascal was well-suited to that particular role. He could combine with the nearest striker, the central midfielders, and the guy on the right, and he was irritating enough to draw players towards him. He was creating the space he would exploit. Innnnnnnnnteresting. Very interesting.
***
Friday, July 25
Extract from the Deva Station podcast
[Epic the music plays, interspersed with comntary of morable monts from Boggy and the BBC]
J: Yes! Welco to Deva Station, I'm your host, J. Today I'm interviewing the main man himself, Max Best!
Max: Wut.
J: How are you doing, mate?
Max: I'm good. I'm all right.
J: Are you a bit down?
Max: [Laughs.] No.
J: You contacted out of the blue and made get this set up at short notice.
Max: Yeah, I just really wanted a chat.
J: [Laughs.] I'm sure.
Max: I'm kind of not joking. Sandra's still in Switzerland. Did you see she got spotted?
J: I saw the clips, yeah.
Max: It's wild. She predicted exactly what would happen in the England match and then said: will work for beer. Her humour is underrated. So yeah, she's out of the country making the billionaire owners of failing clubs sit up on their superyachts, my girlfriend's still working overti to catch up on her hours, the n's team are at boot camp.
J: Why don't you go?
Max: Bah. It's no fun if the boss is around, is it? I'd like to join in but they've got to bond as a team and it doesn't happen if I'm there. They're doing white water rafting while army guys shout at them, and they're also doing so Battleback projects. Working with guys who got injured in a warzone and stuff. My players need to be able to show so vulnerability and that sort of thing and, look, it's better if I'm not there.
J: I heard a rumour you're doing sothing with the army yourself. So coaching.
Max: Oh, that. Yeah but I'm doing quite simple things. It's, um, yeah, in a way it's the most exciting thing I'm doing this season but in another way it's about letting the players I'm coaching get on with things and there isn't much for to do. I don't know, we'll have to see how it goes. It's nothing like Battleback or any kind of serious, structured recovery program. It's just poking around doing sothing a little bit experintal and writing about it for my coaching badges. But the real work's yet to happen and the won's team is still on sumr holiday, ditto the youth teams, so I've just been pottering around waiting for the season to start, really. It's not much fun, to be honest. I don't even have all that much to do apart from pick the teams so I thought let's talk to the fans while I've got ti. This season might get hectic. Like, even more than usual, so let's talk now in case I don't have ti during the season.
J: What can we talk about?
Max: Whatever you want.
J: Let's start with transfers.
Max: [Pause.] You know what? I walked right into that one.
J: Why don't you like talking about transfers?
Max: It's like... I an, I do get it. A new player is like a shiny new toy and new players do lift the dressing room. You see it on the training ground - players step up a level. But my focus is always on training and improving players and for what's exciting is what's coming from the players we've already got, if you know what I an. So it always makes go, er what just happened when people ask about transfers so enthusiastically because transfers are not the most important thing but people talk about them like they are. It's fine, though. It's a very important part of a football club's activities. What do you want to know?
J: Tell us about the new players, I suppose. We don't know a lot about them.
Max: Right, fair enough. Banksy's a talented young goalie. Sunday Sowunmi's a talented young centre back. They're from the Exit Trials. Completely misjudged and mishandled by their forr clubs, as you'll see. We looked at a few more lads who decided to take the money on offer at Bradford City and it'll be very interesting to see where their careers are at in five years. Lee Contreras is a high-energy midfielder I played with at Tranre. We had a couple of run-ins before he realised... well, before he realised. [Laughs.] He's actually sound. I think I'm a bit tedious sotis, you know, sort of pushing too hard, too technocratic, and Lee will lighten things up. Don't get wrong - he's a serious player. Very serious. What else? We added Dan Badford to the first team squad, not sure if you care about that since it wasn't announced on Sky Sports.
J: You gave him shirt number 11. Seems to you really rate him.
Max: I don't want to put pressure on him by hyping him up but he's better than Maradona. [Laughs.] No, I don't know, I'm really enjoying his developnt and he keeps surprising . Most players I really think I know where they're going to end up but not him. The number 11 shirt might be a year or two early but I have this feeling he'll be a good player for a long ti. Hope I'm right, and hope it's with Chester because he makes midfield look easy.
J: He glides around.
Max: Yeah. He's adding bits to his ga all the ti. He's got so steel, so craft, he's getting better tactically and he's adding so bulk so he can take care of himself out there. I'm just a fan, to be honest. Who else? Right, we added two strikers from the under 20 World Cup.
J: Can I just say that's mad? I never thought I'd hear about Chester signing those kinds of players.
Max: The broadcast money makes a lot of stuff possible. Darren Smith, Aussie, he'll turn 20 this season. Ian Evans loves him. [Laughs.] He's good and we're going to improve the shit out of him. Then we've got Foquita.
J: Is that a done deal?
Max: That's a done deal. He's Peruvian, also turning 20, but he can't join us until January.
J: Because of his league season. Won't he be tired when he gets to us?
Max: He might be but he'll have to power through and get a proper break next sumr. You'll enjoy watching this guy, I can promise you that. Oh, I forgot our new right back.
J: Lee Hudson. Another Lee. People are saying you've been on a Lee spree.
Max: [Pause.] Right. I saw Lee at Barrow ages ago and he impressed . They sacked their manager - who was really good, football's crazy sotis - and the new guy didn't fancy Lee, so it's another Zach Green situation where we've snapped up a good player on a free. He'll play right back for us but he can play in the middle, too, which is good for when we play three at the back. I think he'll get back to his old levels pretty fast when he's had a run in the team.
J: Is it true he's on a one-year contract?
Max: Yes. You know what I'm like, I want loads of kids with really high ceilings but you need balance, too. Hudson's 29 so he's the joint fourth oldest in the squad. He's played in the EFL for a decade and not many players at Chester can say that, so I'm pretty pleased with the signing. He'll add sothing to the team and the squad, too.
***
Lee Hudson was CA 68, PA 91, and had squeezed more wages out of than I wanted. He couldn't play midfield which ant I couldn't use him to play out my inverted full back fantasies, but overall I thought he was a solid deal at 1,200 a week. He had been CA 80 when I saw him at Barrow and unless he got injured he would cruise back to those levels.
It felt like a win-win deal. He would be able to move on next sumr with his reputation enhanced, and I would be able to use this season to find a replacent - soone in his mid-20s who would grow with the team until Roddy Jones, the Welsh Wizard, was ready for the first team.
***
J: It all sounds quite sensible to . If you hadn't signed Lee Hudson I might have thought you'd gone too young but that signing put a lot of minds at ease. Can you talk about the Brazilian lads we're paying but who aren't registered?
Max: There's not much to say. I can't bring them over yet because they wouldn't get a work permit. We're paying them so they can train and eat better and whatever, and their agency is chipping in for private coaching sessions. Their local rep is trying to place them with a club where they can get so minutes. In the anti they're doing so training with Corinthians. That's like if I signed two guys from Christleton and persuaded Arsenal to train them, it's absolutely unreal, but more than training they need match experience at this stage in their career. I'd love to bring them over so I could take proper care of them but for it was a case of let's sign them and work out what to do with them later.
J: How good are they?
Max: The question is how good will they be? And the answer is: good enough for all the fuss.
J: I've learned not to bet against you but it's a lot of money each week, isn't it? Money that could go to soone who would help us this season.
Max: Yeah that's an argunt but when I took over no-one was thinking long-term. The first thing I did was sign Youngster and Pascal and three years later you're happy with that, right?
J: Of course.
Max: I look at the squad now and okay we've got so work to do but basically it's amazing. There are gaps in positions and there are so gaps in the levels between individual players but I feel a lot of past decisions are coming back to - what's the opposite of biting soone on the arse? Actually, don't answer that. Past investnts are paying off, is what I want to say. There are computer gas, strategy gas, where it's all about grinding to get your economy going and there's a mont where the flywheel effect kicks in and you're minting money or lumber or, er, tanks or whatever it is and I feel we're getting to that point. I an, Youngster, holy shit. He's got to be close to being the best midfielder in this league already, and we haven't even started! That's not sothing we've had before. Okay, so players are miles below so it's not a smooth transition from a starter to a reserve but we should have enough quality to survive the first ten gas to let the rest catch up enough that we really take off.
J: I think in those computer gas it's always a trade-off, right, and if you invest too much in the economy you don't have enough army to defend your base.
Max: What.
J: [Laughs.] I think you know what I'm saying. We're investing for the future, for the future, but not everyone can live with it. Andrew Harrison, contract rebel.
Max: He's not a contract rebel. He's got a super smart girlfriend who works in the industry and has an idea of what he could be earning elsewhere. So far as a club we have been able to get everyone to stay but as we climb the leagues it's going to get harder. We'll lose ten percent, twenty percent.
J: You could have offered Andrew more salary if you hadn't bought those tiny little stands for the main pitch at Bumpers Bank.
Max: True, but I could also have given him the entire million quid in broadcast money and where would that have left us? No, those stands are fun. If you rent that pitch to play a ga and five of the first team are eating snacks in the little stand cheering you on, are you going to be thinking 'oh I wish Max was less whimsical in his spending'? Course not. It might be small-ti but it's a progression, isn't it? You're ten and you play in front of a man and his dog. You're twelve and there are a few parents. You're fourteen and there are fifty people in an actual stand. Do you know what I an? No, I wouldn't change that decision.
J: What's our goal this season?
Max: Win the league.
J: Not finish seventh?
Max: [Laughs.] I learned my lesson on that one. We have the lowest budget in the league so I'm not going 'oh yeah we'll walk it' but the goal has to be to win. If we can be there or thereabouts in January when Foquita cos, we could go on a long unbeaten run and turn the heat up on whoever's there.
J: Bradford. Gillingham. Carlisle, Cambridge, Fleetwood.
Max: Those are so of the nas, yes. [Laughs.]
J: So potential stories with Bradford. So bad blood.
Max: Let's stick to us. I'm optimistic about the season but there will be defeats and the way the squad is there might be a couple of hamrings. Can you stomach it?
J: Depends against who. Tranre?
Max: [Laughs.] Tranre aren't going to batter us, no. They might beat us, but we'll give them a ga.
J: What's the latest on the stadium?
Max: It's a huge focus for this season. We need to find so money so we can do sothing and I can almost see a pathway through if I eat enough late-night cheese. Two things that will help accelerate things. One, if we get promoted again. That makes a lot of things easier because we will get 1.7 million broadcast money in League One plus even if we got relegated back down to League Two, we'd still get a million the year after, right? And there's a parachute paynt for clubs going from the EFL into the National League. That's about half a million.
J: I see what you're saying. If we get promoted, the worst case is two relegations but those co with guaranteed revenue.
Max: Right. My theory is that if we get promoted we can say to MD that we've got 3 million coming, do you know what I an? So if I need five million to start the project, we're not that far off. 3 million in broadcast money, 1 mill in player sales, we're really, really close. We can get a bank loan or sothing to push us over.
J: Or ask the fans.
Max: I don't want to ask the fans for a million quid when there are League One teams buying players for fifteen million. You guys keep your money for a rainy day, but it's my job to make it rain. Wait, did that make sense?
J: It sounded good.
Max: The second thing that will help is if the stadium's full every week. I need it full, J, or there's no reason to expand and if we don't expand I'm not interested in working my arse off to get it back because owning it just for the sake of owning it is sentint. It's a vanity plate. Fill the stadium, get on the waiting list for season tickets, and when I'm talking to so bank guy I can point to the increased revenue we'll get from owning the stadium and having a big new stand and all that. Yeah, that's the best way the fans can help.
J: I think you'll get a few more signups to the waiting list after that, but I've got to say so of us are worried. You've been doing so weird things in the friendlies.
Max: Weird? What do you an?
J: We played that rebel Liverpool team and at one point you had one centre back. You had a left back, right back, DM, but only one CB.
Max: What's weird about that?
J: I've never seen it at any level of football. We talked about it on here and no-one's ever seen it.
Max: Well, to be honest, neither. But now we have and it was fine. What's the problem?
J: I don't feel comfortable having one centre back is all. It's like we're naked.
Max: I guess I'm comfortable being naked, then.
J: You're in better shape than .
Max: I'm sure you'd be a hit on those German beaches, mate. But look, Liverpool were playing with one striker. Why do I need two centre backs? One's enough. He's got his DM there if he needs soone to chat to. I an, if we're playing a weaker team and they go down to ten n I want to run up the score and I'd rather have another striker than a centre back who has nothing to do. From January we're going to have more strikers than I've ever had at this club and I personally find the idea of playing with no defenders intriguing.
J: Please don't.
Max: Balance is important. I might never do it in a serious match but it looked okay to . If the centre back is better than the striker I think you trust your guy and get overloads sowhere else on the pitch.
J: Or you get battered.
Max: There's only one way to find out.
J: Oh, God.
Max: You say it was weird but it was five-nil, nice start to the season. I used loads of kids, too. I was pretty happy with it.
J: What are you doing with the goalies?
Max: What do you an?
J: I feel like soone told you not to rotate goalies again and you've dialled that up to twenty to annoy us.
Max: When?
J: When you used four goalies in every match so far!
Max: Pfft. That's not rotating goalies. That's sharing out the minutes in pre-season. Hey, listen, we signed a player last year, Owen Travis, who everyone calls Rainman, and he's the only guy who never got a minute under . Now he's played three matches and he'll play three more and he'll know he's a Chester player for real... before I send him out on loan again.
J: Hang on. You're going to use him against Slovakia?
Max: Yes. All the goalies.
J: That's madness.
Max: Okay.
J: I just made you more determined to do it, didn't I? But... what about the loan? What's that?
Max: We've got two goalies competing for first team minutes, and we need a third in case of injury or suspension, but we don't need four. So Rainman's going to Saltney again. He'll play a full season at a higher level than last ti and it'll be aweso for him. How many 19-year-old goalies are playing real matches and getting winner's dals? Not many, that's how many.
J: One way to spin the Saltney situation is that you're using Chester's resources to lend yourself a good player and you're not paying his wages.
Max: Yeah? Go talk to Rainman and tell him he doesn't deserve to have a career.
J: You know that's not the point.
Max: He's a good goalie but he needs minutes. At Saltney he can still train with us, can't he? Under Sticky, who's amazing. Using Saltney wisely I can accelerate the improvent of three young Chester players. Now here's the other side of the coin - Vincent Addo. Young player I want to get to Chester but he needs a work permit. He can get a work permit if he plays a season in Wales with my team, but how can the owner of Saltney afford to sign a prospect like him? Answer, I can't. I can afford a trip to South Arica but I can't afford to buy a football player, do you know what I an?
J: You've signed him, though. I saw it on the news.
Max: I think he'll be a great player so I've said right let’s dive in and worry about everything else later. I agreed a fee with his club in Ghana. It's a loan with an obligation to buy, right? Now, to get a work permit you need to be earning 40 grand a year, so I have to pay him that, and from my own pocket, too. Right? And the transfer fee is... well, it's a bit scary. I have to fork over a hundred grand a year from now. That's way, way, way more than I can manage, but guess what?
J: What?
Max: He'll be a good signing for Chester so I'm taking the risk that the club will buy him from .
J: That's... that's very strange. We're going to buy him? For how much?
Max: Ha! That's the question, isn't it? I reckon I should get a cut for taking the risk.
J: What's the risk? You'll be the buying club and the selling club. You can set the fee and only MD can stop you.
Max: The risk is what if I lose five matches and you sack ? Then I've got myself into a real pickle, haven't I? By the way, I'd like to renegotiate my position.
J: What do you an by that?
Max: I think I've got enough credit in the bank with the fanbase to turn that into six gas. You can't sack after five losses in a row, it has to be six. What do you say?
J: Sounds fair enough given what you've done. What if we kick up a fuss about this Vincent Addo, though? What if we don't want him?
Max: You will. We could have the double pivot of the Ghanaian national team here in Chester! If you actually don't want him I'll sell him to a club who wants to progress. It's like for Chester he's 300,000 and for anyone else it's 600,000. I'm not really doing that deal for the money, I'm doing it for Vincent but if I make so profit I'll be able to reinvest in the next guy. Do it all again without the stress.
J: This is breaking my head. It's bonkers!
Max: Hang on, we were supposed to be talking about the friendlies. Buxton at ho was three-all. Did you go to that one?
J: I did. Got my first look at Roddy Jones. Do you know he's only 14? He's like a stick insect, Max. You can't play him against grown n.
Max: Ah, he's fine. I only wanted to give him the experience of being out there and he was absolutely buzzing. Will I use him in a real match? Maybe near the end of the season depending on how he is physically. There's no need to rush him but I think it's okay to give him a couple of boosts.
J: The young goalies made a real ss of things. Buxton shouldn't be scoring three goals against us.
Max: It's a friendly. They can score ten for all I care.
J: As far as I can tell, we played four different formations in those four halves. Am I right about that?
Max: More or less, yeah.
J: And we lost 5-2 to Blackpool and no-one could make head nor tail out of your formations or who was playing where. It was mayhem. Soone in a WhatsApp group, I won't say who, said you had beco untethered from reality. Soone else said you were looking for solutions to problems that don't exist. People are worried you don't know what to do and you're already scrambling around looking for a way to make this squad make sense. Or that you rely on Sandra Lane more than we think.
Max: I rely on her, all right, that's true. But I wouldn't worry about not knowing my best eleven. I do. But I also expect my best eleven to take to the pitch maybe five tis the entire season. We will be rotating like a carousel; you're gonna hate it.
J: Blackpool turned us over and they didn't even use their best players.
Max: Blackpool are a League One side and they took the match much more seriously than us. It was interesting how well they controlled midfield and how hard it was for us to get anything from the ga. They did to us what we've done to a lot of teams in the past. It's just a warning that we need to keep getting better and we are nowhere near the levels. I don't mind it, to be honest, and the fact that the lads pretty much went from that defeat to the boot camp is probably ideal, right? I an, they'll start a little bit low, bit nervous, and build themselves up through the week. Co back all guns blazing.
J: To face West Didsbury, the club you definitely don't own.
Max: Right. That'll be heavy on the kids and you'll see Roddy Jones again. Oh, and Vivek gets to play at the Deva. I'm made up about that. Then it's a tricky away match at Morecambe. I can imagine being, ah, untethered again if that's how you want to describe it. The first half against Slovakia will be sothing like our best team and we'll all be going for it. I an, most of us will never get anywhere near playing for our countries so this might be the only ti we get to play a national team. Can you imagine if we beat them? It'd be sothing, wouldn't it?
J: It would. And it's a sell-out, right?
Max: I think there are a few hundred tickets left as we speak but they will go and we've got a few things to unveil that day.
J: The new kit?
Max: I couldn't possibly comnt. Oh, hey up.
J: What's going on?
Max: Just got a ssage. Emma's finished her project and she's on the train. She's coming to Chester! That's cheered all the way up.
J: Before you rush off, can I wrap up with a big picture kind of question? We've got so many things happening in and around the club, with the foundation, the training ground, the squad, the new kit and sponsors. What do you see as the big topic for this coming season? The next big area of change?
Max: We're generally on the right path and if the n's team can keep their heads above water in the first ten league gas I think it'll be a good season, a really good season. I'll be doing my next coaching badge where I'll be doing so experints but I can't imagine trying any of that stuff with the first team. Basically, overall, we'll be sticking to the sa path with maybe a couple of tweaks at the edges. You might see so 5-3-2, you might see so young players improve faster than before, but generally it'll have the sa shape as the last two seasons. I imagine I'll be using any free ti I have to find soone who might replace my key staff if they leave. That's the thing that keeps up all night eating cheese.
J: Who's going to leave?
Max: The most likely is Sandra, obviously.
J: Why obviously?
Max: You saw her interview thing.
J: Yes I did. Which... What?
Max: [Pause.] I'm just rembering now that I stopped watching halfway through.
J: You need to watch the end, Max.
Max: Oh! All right. J, I'm gonna rush off. Thanks for the chat. Tell everyone to get behind the team as much as possible, yeah? Everyone you see out on that pitch has the talent to play for Chester and we need to give them a bit of ti and patience and they'll repay our faith tenfold.
J: I'm so excited about getting back to the football league I'm not sure I'll care what the score is. As far as I'm concerned, you get a free hit against Fleetwood and Bolton. Thanks for your ti, Max.
***
Friday, 18 July
Zurich, Switzerland
Sandra Lane's interview continues.
"This season - if Max gets bored - you will be the first woman to manage an English league match."
"Knowing Max, it's very likely."
"How exciting! You're smashing the glass ceiling. And no doubt soon you will be offered a senior job at a big club."
"Chester is a big club."
"Of course. I only ant - "
"No team at any level of English football have been promoted four seasons in a row. Our goal is to do it with the n and won, simultaneously! We have incredibly talented players who are hungry to learn, great full-ti and part-ti coaches who excel in different areas, and an admin team who push the club forward with competence and empathy. Chester is by far the most exciting football club in the world and I want to be part of it. I'm in no rush to move on. We've got a saying at Chester, you go slow to go fast and you go slow to go far. I'm not applying for other jobs because I know two things are true. This season I'll be the first woman to manage in League Two, and next season I'll be the first woman to manage in League One."
"Wouldn't four promotions put you in the Championship?"
"Yes, but we don't talk about that because it makes us seem cocky."
"It's ambitious. But you can't really think you'll succeed."
"Why not? The hardest part is persuading Max that sotis the easy way is the right way. He does have a tendency to overcomplicate things. I'm just glad that I've taken this trip in July when he can't cause loads of mischief. Right, enough about . I've got thoughts on what France are doing wrong in midfield."
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