Chapter 349: Before the Grave
There was a quiet solemnity at Phecda Revolutionary morial Park. A few fresh flowers were placed before Xue Ba’s grave. Gu Jun placed the bouquet that he brought among them. He stared at the handso face on the tombstone quietly.
“Captain Xue, thank you for everything that you have taught .” He began softly. He knew that Captain Xue’s soul perhaps had already been drawn to beco the servant for the Son of Misfortune and he would live out the rest of his non-life in that strange church... These thoughts caused Gu Jun’s brain to throb and he had to stop. It was probably the blood rushing to his brain. Gu Jun wanted to co pay respect to Xue Ba alone and to say his goodbyes but he was still trailed by a few mbers from Phecda. They were worried that he would need ergency rescue. It was January 26th. One week ago, Elder Tong hurried back from Russia. He explained to Gu Jun the test results and Phecda’s decision.
“Ah Jun, I understand what you feel...” Elder Tong sighed, “But such is life.”
Naturally Gu Jun had problems taking in this result. There was loss, depression and an anger that found no vent. When he woke up from the coma, he thought he’d jump right back into action. There were many things waiting to be done like the formation of GOA and the bridging of relationships with the Zoog tribes. He even contemplated a return to Dreamland. But now...
However, beneath the depression, there was also a sense of relief. He did not know what to think.
“Elder Tong, I’m fine.” He said at the ti, “I’ve done everything that I could... To be honest, I’ve been aning to take a break.” He laughed self-deprecatingly, “I was so busy that I didn’t have ti for movies. I don’t think I can stomach that kind of hectic schedule anymore. Finally I am relieved from the heavy responsibilities! This is a good thing!”
“That’s true.” Elder Tong laughed along with him. “You’re essentially taking a paid holiday so enjoy it to your fullest! Take good care of yourself.”
“Of course... I’ll leave the rest to you...” Gu Jun did not know what to say next. There was only so much self-deprecating humor he could muster at the ti.
Regardless, over the past week, he still attempted so unconventional treatnt. After all, his state was undeniably unconventional. For example, the system in his mind disintegrated but it did not disappear. It remained in his mind as a ball of chaos. What kind of influence would it have on Gu Jun now? Was it an after-effect from him being once consud by darkness? He had no answer.
Gu Jun’s first attempt was the spirit barrier technique provided by Deng Xii. In essence, it was like a self-hypnosis thod employed by the foreign civilization. A layer of conscious protective barrier was ford through technical ditation and self-imagination. Phecda valued this technique greatly because the spirit barrier had many uses. According to Deng Xii, other than a shield, spirit barriers could help assist those suffering from ntal corruption by transferring the corruption onto the barrier. The spirit barrier could take the form of a virtual self or a dread future or a valued past. This technique was extrely valuable to frontline fighters and it enabled Phecda to master yet another advanced psychological technology.
Phecda had already selected the first batch of mbers from the Spell and Ancient Seal Departnts to train this technique. Lou Xiaoning and Uncle Dan were among the selected. None of the land’s travellers were picked for they already possessed a second persona. An additional layer of ntal barrier would complicate too many things.
Gu Jun’s usage of the spirit barrier was for self-treatnt. He used a dread future to construct a barrier to try to treat the avoidance symptoms. But before he could start, just from listening to the explanation from Deng Xii, the headache returned. The first attempt thus failed. The second attempt the day after ended in failure as well. He could not reach the level of self-ditation needed for the construction of the barrier. His mind was too befuddled. It was like asking him to run 1000 km with leads tied to his ankles.
After the failure with the spirit barrier technique, Gu Jun turned to Ancient Seal technology, psychotherapy, Chinese and western dicine, and even prayers. None of them were effective. His hope was dashed one after another. In the end, Gu Jun had no choice but to accept this bitter result.
It was the 26th, there were not that many days left until the eve of lunar new year. Thanks to the recent peace, everyone was given a rare holiday to return ho to their families but many were too worried about Gu Jun to abandon him at the headquarters. Knowing that, Gu Jun requested to start his holiday early. His intention was to leave before New Year so that everyone could enjoy their holidays without having him as a burden.
“Captain Xue, I’m going to leave this afternoon.” Gu Jun whispered to the tombstone. “I don’t know when I’ll be able to return.” He would return for his scheduled brain scans but his ‘official return’ was undated. He was barred from participation in both frontline and admin work. Even his request to transfer to the Recreational Departnt and Public Relations Departnt was denied. As long as it was within the scope of Phecda and GOA, he would be exposed to supernatural elents and information, and that went against his prescribed convalesce arrangent.
In terms of supernatural elents, he only showed a lack of intense reaction around Lucky. He still suffered from a minor headache but that was it. Perhaps it was due to the sweet dream connection he had ford with Lucky or the Zoogs themselves was a non-trigger for Gu Jun. Therefore it ant that Gu Jun would still sit in the etings regarding the formation of an alliance with the Zoogs. But ultimately, the best arrangent for his situation was to remove him from Phecda and allow him to return to a normal life.
“Captain Xue, don’t be sad for .” Gu Jun continued, “Compared to many others, I am already very lucky. Captain Xue, if you ask , a hero like yourself deserves a better way to go than to succumb to a sudden misfortune and perish without causing nary a ripple...” He took a deep breath. It was hard to tell whether he was referring to Xue Ba or himself. “But this world is nothing but a vessel of regrets. Anyway, that’s all. I have to return to the hostel to pack. I’ll co visit you next ti.”
Then Gu Jun gave a military salute at the tombstone before he turned to walk away.
Reviews
All reviews (0)