I have delayed setting these words to the page for too long already, though my posterity has seed a faraway thing in these first days of my tenure - even now my mind rebels, though I force my hand to write what it must:
So begin the Annals of the Sixteenth Star, in this six-hundred and forty-fourth year of the ndiko peace. Ironic that it should be called that still, when to our south the War rages on, but we were never talking about anyone but ourselves when we erected that proud moniker over the smoldering ruins of Old Ghar. A peace for ndian, bought dearly - and now mine to keep.
There is a woman that all see, one who wields the Star of ndian as a guiding light and baleful ward both. There must also be a path between and that woman, but in the confines of this crystalline prison I cannot see it. I never believed it would pass to , not truly, even as I spent all of those hours talking with old Saviero from the other side of these walls.
Of the previous holders of this soul, ten have kept written records. In my studies I read them all; they speak of etings and battles, deliberations over policy - the stuff of governnt. What they do not ntion is the space between those monts.
I shall never again stand amid company or walk freely through the countryside. Companionship and touch are lost to . It is not as though such things were a regular indulgence for ; nevertheless, I find myself dwelling on the absence of opportunity. We are all the sum of our experiences. I wonder what ti and this confined existence will make of - if I will look back on the woman writing these first words and think her foolish or prescient.
It is a question that only ti may answer, so: now, to business.
- Leire Gabarain, Annals of the Sixteenth Star, 644.
He woke slowly. His mind was fogged, one foot still mired in dreams that eluded his mory save for an intangible dread that set his heart pounding and soaked the sheets with sweat. Michael made to rub the sleep from his eyes but paused as his hand felt resistance; he looked to find that Sobriquet had arrived during the night, and was lying partially atop his left arm.
Michaels heart beat faster still as a flurry of nightmare images flashed through his mind, visions of blood dripping slowly down from the bunk, Sobriquets body lying broken from a casual movent of his hand-
But it had not happened. With an effort, his breathing slowed. Michael set aside his fear, for there was no more danger. He set aside his anger at Sobriquet, for sleeping recklessly close; they could talk before sleep ca again, and find a safer arrangent. There had been no disaster - today.
He let his breath out slowly and withdrew his arm, leaning over to kiss her gently on the forehead. She grumbled, her brow furrowing, but did not wake. Michael stood and contemplated his rumpled, slept-in clothing.
It was passable. He yawned and eased his way out into the hall, stumbling towards the ss and, he hoped, an adequate amount of coffee.
When he dragged himself from the ss line, food and a steaming cup of fulfilled expectations in hand, he was only mildly-surprised to find Vernon already in a seat. Michael chuckled and walked over to sit beside the auditor.
Do you ever leave the ss? Michael asked.
Vernon gave him a sly smile in return. Why should I? he asked. The food is here, and its one of the better places on the ship to eavesdrop.
You do know that were supposed to be allies with the ndiko, Michael said around a mouthful of tepid eggs. Its poor form to spy on them.
Spying is such a loaded term. Vernon sipped his own coffee. I can hardly be blad for overhearing sothing while I enjoy my breakfast.
Michael shook his head, finding a smile despite the hour. And have you? he asked. Overheard anything, that is.
The auditor shrugged. Were on track to leave the city today, he said. Ground forces are packing up, theyve designated a few detachnts to stay and continue relief work until the navy arrives in force tomorrow. The rest of us are to head inland, north-west, towards the new Safid front.
Wont that be fun. Michael looked into his mug, seeing his own face peering back. It feels wrong to leave so soon after the attack. The city is still devastated.
Vernon shrugged. Thats why the navy is coming. We cant spare any dical staff for Is; the anatontes were largely out in the field when the gas hit. He paused, cradling his mug. But you know that.
Michael nodded absently, his thoughts straying to what would likely be an awkward conversation later - a pair of them, hopefully. Heard anything about Leire? he asked. I talked with her yesterday, shes still as - intractable as ever.
Nothing concrete, Vernon said, waggling his fingers noncommittally. She doesnt leave her quarters save for etings with Antolin. What she did was controversial among the rank and file, but not as much as you might expect. The auditor raised his eyebrow. There are a fair number of people who bla you, rather than her, for the five n who died.
? Michael asked, setting his fork down upon the table. How did they reach that conclusion?
You forced Leires hand with your habit of showing rcy to enemies. She had determined that Galen needed to die, you resisted the idea, she was forced to improvise and things - got out of hand. Another sip. Is what theyre saying. Not everyone, obviously, but a few of the more bloody-minded soldiers prefer her brand of pragmatism to your more-forgiving stance.
Michael made a face, looking down at his tray. I suppose theyd prefer that I sweep in and - what, engage in a spot of indiscriminate slaughter?
Precisely that, Vernon replied. This is a war, after all, and in such scenarios youre going to find a fair amount of support for the idea of killing the enemy. He shrugged. A fair amount of support for what youve been doing, of course, but there are argunts on both sides. The faction that favored restraint was in the majority before the attack on Is.
Michael felt a chill along his spine, radiating out to his limbs; he flexed his left hand restlessly against the tingling in his fingers. And now? he asked.
Too early to say for sure. Vernon turned his head to the side for a mont, frowning, then sat back in his chair. People are angry. Justifiably so. The ndiko hadnt taken any significant losses prior to Is. Its different when its your own people dying.
There was a pause; Michael gave Vernon an evaluating look. I sense an unspoken comnt about the count of Daressan dead far exceeding the ndiko tally.
Vernon shrugged. Im angry, he said. As angry as I was after Leik, or my own hotown, or a hundred other villages youve never heard of. Been angry for years. Today isnt much different. He slumped back in his chair, then frowned again, cocking his head.
Michael leaned forward. Sothing up? he asked. Thats the second ti youve done that.
You ntioned that you wanted to see Luc? Vernon asked.
I did ntion it to Unai, Michael said, giving the auditor a flat look. When did your range get so good?
tal ship, Vernon chuckled. Conducts sound like you wouldnt believe. Bad when were in the air, but - ah, anyway. Luc is awake. I can hear him talking with Unai. He raised an eyebrow. Want to know what theyre talking about?
Its presumably a private conversation-
Theyre talking about you, Vernon said, cutting Michael off.
Michael held eye contact for a few monts before sighing and waving Vernon on. Youre just going to keep taunting with it if I say no, so go ahead.
Vernon snorted, but did not smile. Hes asking Unai if you were the one who ordered him brought back to the ship. Unai said no, that he did it - and Luc has so thoughts for him about that. Not a happy man.
The words robbed Michael of any remaining levity, leaving him feeling weary once more despite the early hour. I expected as much, Michael sighed. He was looking forward to a fresh start. To have it end like it did
Unhappy is an understatent, Vernon frowned. He said so unkind things about Leire, too, and Unai took exception to that. Raised voices on both sides. He paused, the lines on his face deepening, before looking up at Michael. I was content to eavesdrop, but we may want to head over there.
Michael blinked, rising from his chair a mont after Vernon. Youre serious? he asked. You think - what, that Lucs going to co to blows with Unai? He loves the man.
Vernon led the way down the airships twisting corridors, his mouth pressed into a line. I dont hear much love in his voice.
Sera? Michael said, listening expectantly as he walked. Sera? A few footsteps later, he scowled and turned to Vernon. She was still sleeping when I left. Go to my quarters and wake her? Let her know whats going on.
Right. Vernon gave him a sharp nod and peeled off down a side corridor; Michael redoubled his pace. The airship was labyrinthine, and the ss was far aft of Leires suite, but the early hour saw few people obstructing his path - and those that spotted him quickly stepped aside.
He felt the flare of fear and anger from far down the hall. It pulsed once, peaked - and then subsided to nothing as he rounded the final bend, leaving him staring at the silent, closed door to the suite. He did not knock, opening it and striding into the room. The lock gave a scream of rending tal as it broke; afterwards there was quiet, save for Michaels pulse thundering in his ears.
Luc? he called out, taking a tentative step into the deserted stateroom. Michael sent his sight questing outward, towards the door to Unais quarters-
Sothing impacted the side of his head; he felt a cool solidity spreading across his face. His hand ca up by instinct but felt only a hard, smooth surface. It was all he had ti to register before the liquid pressure slithered across his cheek, darting into Michaels mouth.
His eyes flew wide as the substance flooded across his tongue, blocking his throat. Visions of Galen struggling for air flitted through his mind, sparking with panic, he made to claw at his obstructed lips but found his hand immobile. All thought of restraint left him; he strained and felt his arm co free with a great cracking sound.
Shards of crystal glass scattered across the floor as his fingers slid over the smooth shell now encasing his head. He punched at it, managing only to daze himself. Polyps of the glass stretched out to grab at his hand, miring it in a thick sheath that prevented all movent.
Michael found himself totally immobile - but able to breathe, as the glass had stopped short of obstructing his airway. He heaved shallow, panicked breaths through his nose as he freed his sight to dart around the room.
He did not have to search long. Luc stepped out from behind a curtain, trailing strands of crystal connecting his bare right hand to the glass divider that had enshed Michael within itself. His eyes were reddened, his cheeks drawn and pale; despite his recent long sleep, he looked exhausted. Over his clothes he wore Unais heavy leaden apron.
We cant seem to stay away from each other, yes? Luc rasped. I tried. It shouldnt be this hard. It shouldnt take this much struggle to find peace. He took a step forward, letting the crystal threads drop from his fingers. But you are what you are.
Michael tried to speak around the mass of crystal filling his mouth but found that he couldnt; the impossibility of the mont slid by unremarked in his mind, his nerves thrilled with the panic of immobility. He tried to flex, to bite the crystal, but he could muster no leverage against it.
You try so hard, Luc continued, touching another pane of crystal; it flowed over the door to the hall, sealing it. And youre right. I want to see the world youre striving for, Michael. But its too much, too quickly - yes?
Luc t Michaels eyes for a mont; the spike of pain and raw, gibbering fear was almost incapacitating. Change ans death; and what you seek to change pushes back, Luc murmured. It cant hope to win, because again: you are what you are. But it will try. The world fights you at every turn, and in the middle are - people. He balled his fists. Quiet, innocent people, not the monsters youre trying to root out. And I cant help them, I cant make a difference because every ti I try, every ti I work to put so good back into the world, it all gets washed away in the storm of your passing.
Michaels attention was only half on Lucs bitter words; his focus turned to Stanza. Words ford in his mind and buzzed half-said in his throat, but the glass remained intractable, impenetrable as rock to the attentions of his soul. He gave a grunt of frustration, straining with his muscles fruitlessly before sagging back into the crystal around him.
But I realized sothing when I was hiding, Luc said, paying no heed to Michaels struggles. Watching all of my patients die, my friends at the camp. I cant change anything with small, quiet acts of service. They cant exist in such a violent ti. He paced out of the room, through the space where the divider used to be, and disappeared around a corner.
It should have been a balanced change, his voice ca, muffled by the distance. To let the world find peace with its new shape. To focus the violence where it must fall, and spare the rest. But youre surrounded by people telling you the opposite. Do more, push faster. Shatter the current order no matter the cost. And in the end, with her soul secured-
Luc returned to view, crystal once again trailing from his hands; it linked back to a large mass that slid along the ground. It was thick enough that Michael did not recognize Leires form inside until Luc brought her close. He could only see a small patch of her face still visible, a bruise darkening the papery skin around one eye. She did not wake.
You would beco, Luc said softly, his lip trembling, a cataclysm. One the world is too fragile to bear.
Panic thrilled through Michael as he saw her, spidering through his nerves and rending whatever focus he had summoned to guide his soul. He strained again against the glass, then in desperation relaxed his grip on Vincents soul.
It grew utterly dark in the room; at the sa ti Michael felt heat begin to collect in the glass around him.
Luc paused, then shook his head. Michael watched in the golden sketch of mirrorlight as he knelt beside Leire, then looked up. Even absent light, his eyes seed empty, boundless, the fear within him flooding through Michael with numb abandon.
I dont bla either of you, Luc murmured. None of us can help but be who we are. He reached up with his right hand and drew the glove off his left. Michael saw his own wayward fingers tremble as they were bared.
Its why I could never find that balance I sought, Luc whispered. Because I was afraid. I was afraid to admit - after Claude, even after Gerards soul ca to , I still thought I could be quiet. Peaceful, even as I denied the world what only I could give. An outlet, a rod for the storm. He smiled, tears rolling down his face. False hope.
The crystal was burning Michaels clothing now. He slled smoke and burnt hair, the pain of it beginning to seep through even the protection of Galens soul; he felt the saliva on his tongue boil. He flexed his arm and thought he felt so give, but the immobilizing mass of crystal held fast.
Intrusive, slithering, the thought of attacking Luc stepped into his head. Michaels mind rebelled against it almost as quickly; he could not accept it. Immobile, mute, an unrefined, uncontrolled use of Spark was the only option left - and the re thought of what that would entail sent a wave of shuddering revulsion through him.
He pushed the thought aside angrily and strained - then froze as Luc reached down to touch his bare fingers to Leires cheek. She made a soft, strangled noise; Michael saw the golden lines of her form shiver, twist - and dim, the light from her bodys filigree flooding upward to collect in Lucs mismatched hand.
Dawn broke amid the darkness.
It was irresistible; Michael found himself staring as a gentle glow emanated from Lucs form, overwhelming what Vincents soul could absorb; at the sa ti he felt the heat surge within him. He poured it into the glass, feeling it sag against him even as the glowing crystal scorched his skin.
Luc looked down at his hands, his lambent eyes torn between disbelief and the exhilaration of panic; his voice was thready with adrenaline. You were right, in the end, he whispered, his tears refracting light across the room. None of us can stand aside.
Michael strained against the glass and felt it give, red-hot shards of it tumbling forward as his arm ca free, the scraps of his clothing and hair alight; he stumbled forward in little more than his smoking boots.
When the light returned to the room, Luc was not there. Michael burst through into Leires room to find the windows cast wide, a tapering strand of crystal bending down out of sight. He vaulted the railing, falling into open air for an uncomfortable span of ti before the ground rushed up with thundering force.
He t it upright, his feet slamming to the packed soil amid a cloud of dust. A nearby soldier stared at him; it occurred to Michael that he was effectively nude, his body scorched, smoke curling up from the smoldering ruin of his boots. He put the thought from his mind, scanning frantically for Luc.
Sera! he shouted.
Vernon just barged in, what- Sobriquets voice ca irritably from beside him, dull with fatigue before it cut off suddenly. Oh, she said. There was another pause. Oh, fuck.
Michael spat blood and char into the dirt. Where is he? he rasped. He cant have gotten far.
Everything is muddled, she replied. The pieces moving are too big, too heavy. Hes - going towards the coast, I think, but I couldnt tell you much more than that.
Michael turned to look towards the city harbor in the distance, the dark and glittering spread of ocean. Fine. Tell Antolin. Ill see- He stumbled, his boot sloughing off one foot; Michael found himself sprawled in the dirt. His head was light, flickering with sound and color.
Michael, listen to , Sobriquets voice ca. I need you to stay where you are until the dics arrive. Theyre on their way.
He clenched his jaw, feeling glass shards grind between his teeth; his attempt to stand left him half-crouched and staggering. We need to find him, Sera, he said. What he could do-
I know. Sobriquets voice was calm, deadly. But you need to listen to what Im telling you, Michael. Sit down and wait for the dics.
I- Michael fell back to the dirt, slouching to the side; for a mont he could not tell which way was up. He dimly registered that his remaining boot was on fire. Ill stay.
Thank you, Sobriquet said. Just hold on-
Her words blurred into indistinct roaring in Michaels ears. He looked instead out towards the port, to the distant sea. It shimred with a thousand points of reflected light; in his blurring vision, each tiny star bore Lucs face.
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