Only Villains Do That 3.21 In Which the Dark Lord Confronts His Nemesis

3.21 In Which the Dark Lord Confronts His Nesis

I was, as usual, right to have a bad feeling.

Wait, soanything Japanese?

I dont know exactly what theyll know to look for, Yoshi admitted. Maizo knew about chopsticks, so we can ask him what else he might be aware of. Probably there are different, uh, establishnts and lineages which have preserved so secret knowledge of Japan, but I doubt any of them have more than a few things to look out for. So anything Japanese might set them off. Itsprobably best to keep it discreet at least until were both powerful enough not to be easily controlled. Orassassinated.

I stared out over the cavern, my mind racing. Wed set up camp in a large natural cave, complete with decorative stalactites, though it had a mostly even floor which seed to have been leveled on purpose by goblins long ago; it made for a decent space in which to camp. The caves of Kzidnak were generally warm and goblins didnt need light, but I decided it felt wrong to camp without campfires, and so Id made a few. In several spots, fire slis blazed rrily away, fixed in place by Ta Beast, and I couldnt help noticing that people had gathered around each one. Yoshis party were huddled together by one, and mine around another. Well, partly; Aster stood so distance away, pretending she wasnt watching , while Nazralind and Adelly sat hip-to-hip, talking quietly. I noted with amusent that Gizmit, Zui, and Maizo had all joined them, and several other groups of goblins were huddled around the other slis Id set out even though they needed neither the light nor the warmth.

Everybody loves a campfire.

Yoshi and I had picked a ledge along the wall a discreet distance away for our chat. Id been mildly dreading what he had to say, but sohow this was worse than anything I could have anticipated.

Is that why nobody knows theres a Hero even though yourewell, running around being one?

Exactly, he nodded. Pashilyn and Flaethwyn explained the local politics to . As soon as anybody finds out Well, Im not strong enough yet to stop the bigger powers from stepping in to control . Even the Fflyr governnteven so of the Clans probably have enough muscle, the way I am right now. And thats only the start. Lancor might actually invade Dlemathlys over this. Over just one of us being here, let alone both.

So, I said slowly, if this were already a dicey mont in history, what with Lancor and everybody else who matters probably sending agents to investigate every place one of those signs and portents happened

Yeah, theyll definitely be looking into the Inferno, so its an especially good ti to keep our heads down. He turned to frown at . By the way, you didnt have anything to do with that, did you, Omura?

I impatiently waved him off. I sure wish Id known about all this earlier. Illspeak to the girls. Its not like I told them to

Yoshi was staring at , wide-eyed.

Well, Ill fix it. Sohow. More importantly, Biribo.

Boss, you gotta understand, he said desperately. This is a prohibited subject. I got your back, but there are non-optional rules I gotta follow! I cant explain stuff like this until it gets brought up by soone else. As in physically cannot.

Yeah, thats what Radatina said, Yoshi offered.

I hate to stick up for the lizard, but hes not wrong, Radatina added in what I can only call a performatively grudging tone. This isnt his fault. This is sothing you cant be forewarned about until soone else brings it up. Yoshi was just lucky enough to have that happen first.

Least you could do, I guess, Biribo muttered.

Oh, buzz off, you

Okay, what is the deal with the two of you? I demanded. Is this another Good versus Evil thing? Because everybody else is managing to be civil while were cooperating. Even Flaethwyn, mostly. Sotis.

The familiars exchanged a long, loaded look.

Notexactly, Radatina hedged. Itscomplicated.

Yoshi raised his eyebrows. Were listening.

Itswell How to put this

Its about how Blessed with Wisdom usually operate, Biribo took over the explanation, apparently tired of her dithering. Wisdom doesnt co with any physical firepower for anybody except Champions of the Goddesses, so they gotta compensate for that. Especially since other people will tend try to either forcibly recruit or assassinate them; if youre a mover and/or shaker, you do not want soone with information powers running around your turf and not working for you. So will link up with an adventurer team as tactical support, but for most, the standard practice is to conceal the fact that youre Blessed with Wisdom until you can build a power base and accumulate enough perks to be actually, personally powerful. So the one thing you absolutely do not want to encounter is another Blessed with Wisdom, because their familiar will be able to spot you.

And then once they get powerful, Radatina rushed in when he paused to breathe, they also beco, lets say, intolerant of competition. So, basically, familiars never have the opportunity to, umsocialize with each other.

Its super rare for one of us to even see another familiar who doesnt have to be regarded as an enemy by default.

Yoshi and I glanced at each other and blinked in unison.

Wait, I said. Youre territorial? Is that really what this is about?

Both of them buzzed around our heads in erratic loops, a characteristic sign of agitation. I noticed a striking lack of any rebuttal of my observation, though.

Go easy on them, okay? Yoshi urged. Its not like they can help being what they are. Isorta relate.

You? I have to say, that took by surprise. It looks to like youve taken to isekai like a fish to water. Youre even in much better shape after just a couple months.

He ducked his head, blushing faintly in the dim light of the distant fires, but didnt smile. Ithanks, Omura. It actually helps to hear that. Ive beenreally trying. Now that Im in this crazy situation, I want to do it right. I just dont want to screw anything else up. Im trying not to be a Subaru, you know?

I squinted, trying to parse that. A You an theconstellation? Surely he wasnt talking about the car company.

Oh! No, Subaru. You know, from Re:Zero?

From what?

Poor kid flushed again. Its an ani.

Ah. Of course it is.

But its really good! Seriously, its amazing. I bet youd like it, Omura, you even liked Konosuba! I cant recomnd it highly enough.

Well, sure, Yoshi, I said pointedly, Ill hop right on that train. Wheres it streaming?

He winced, looking around the dark goblin-filled cavern below the dieval shithole in which we lived. Oh, uh. Right. Sorry.

And now he looked so depressed even I was forced to take pity.

So whos Subaru, and why dont you want to be him?

Yoshi instantly perked back up, of course. Otaku; if youve t one, youve t them all, and theres nothing they love more than a chance to blather on about their bullshit to soone who doesnt really care. This guy had been in ani withdrawal for months until I opened the floodgates.

Oh, its great! Its an isekai, but its a deconstructive one, see? Its all about the otaku mindset and how self-defeating it is. Subaru gets transported to a fantasy world and imdiately finds out that acting like an isekai hero just gets him dunked on. The whole story is about him learning thatwell, the problem isnt the world, its him. Being a social outcast in real lifeyoud be the sa anywhere, unless you learn how to deal with people. You cant accomplish anything without convincing people to work with you. Its sort ofum, its sothing a lot of otaku needed to hear.

Huh. Well, damn, now I kinda wanted to watch that.Now that hed said the na, I was pretty sure Id seen so rch for it in the ga store. I had tried hard not to learn anything from that place, but cultural osmosis can only be resisted up to a point. And itspopular? I cant imagine most of the target audience would enjoy being called out like that.

He shrugged. Yeah, well I cant say its a fun thing to be told, but its pretty cathartic to hear sothing you really needed to. Even when its rough.

And youre trying not to be like this guy? If he gets better, he sounds like a role model.

I anthim at the beginning. Yoshi fell silent, staring moodily into the distance. I let him think; this was clearly not a dramatic pause, he was just struggling to put sothing into words. Not everybody can be as articulate as . The Fflyr have this proverb that really hits for , I dunno if youve heard it yet. You dont know whether youd take a devils deal until one appears before you. That just seems to get more and more relevant, doesnt it?

Oh, yeah, Ive heard that one. I like that too, seems like a solid point.

He nodded, still staring ahead with a glum expression. When he spoke again, his voice had dropped almost to a whisper. Yeah, well I found out. A beautiful goddess offered adventure in another world and I jumped for it. I begged for it. I didnt pause even for a second to think about my parents, or my big sister, or my friends Anyone whod miss back ho. My last mories of Earth are of you yelling at for being an idiot, andyou were right. You didnt want to take the goddesss deal, soI guess we know which of us is smarter, huh.

Yoshi sighed quietly, tilting his head back to stare up at the ceiling. I averted my gaze, pretending I hadnt noticed his eyes shining.

I hope Ai-nee thinks to feed my fish. And water my philodendron. She probably will, shes super responsible. At least one of us is, right?

I stayed quiet for the next minute or so while he composed himself. The bro code transcends Good and Evil.

Soyeah. He finally spoke again, a bit roughly, after clearing his throat. However it happened, now Im here. The Hero. People are depending on . I just Im giving it my best. Im determined not to let anyone down. Wellanyone else.

Damn it. Where did this kid get off, having a complex inner life and relatable emotions? Everything was so much simpler when he was just so dumb nerd I could make fun of. Fuckin rude, thats what it was.

I dont think thats really a fair comparison, I said slowly. Yeah, I didnt want to take Viryas offer, butthats because I didnt want to take her offer. This isekai bullshit is not sothing Ive dread about. If a beautiful goddess appeared before , offering my hearts desire for free Well. Id like to think Id be smart enough to sll a trap and turn it down. But I think the Fflyr are right, with that saying of theirs. You cant know what youll do in a situation like that until youre in it.

Do you thinkwell ever get to go back ho? It hurt to hear him trying not to sound plaintive.

Thats Im sorry, Yoshi, but thatsnot a thing, Radatina whispered.

There is no traveling the other way, Biribo added. The connection to Earthit doesnt work the way youre probably thinking. Its not a question of persuading the goddesses to send you back. Thats just not within their power.

Oh? I gave him my most pointed look.

Biribo did a nervous loop-the-loop. Look, boss, Ive already said more than I should. We cannot explain any further. Theres no breaking that rule.

I knew when I wasnt going to get further answers, and pressing would just make look weak.

Well, who knows, I deflected. The Devil King found a way to crack this thing. Granted, hes a soul-eating piece of shit whom we should not emulate, but at least that ans it can be done. You know, after what weve seen recently, Im wondering if this is all so kind of simulation.

Hm. Yoshi frowned. I really dont think so.

Oh?

Well, I an The point of simulation theory is you cant conclusively prove youre not in one, but if anything, I think Ephera is less likely to be so kind of sim than Earth.

I squinted at him. Based on what?

Well, think about it. We saw the corrupted Spirit and that it was running on so kind of code, right? With an error ssage and everything. Theres nothing like that on Earth. If youre able to completely simulate a whole reality, theres no reason to give the people inside it access to the system.

Shit, he had a point there.

I guess so, I conceded. Fine, I can live with that. Im just glad at having a hint of whats behind all this insanity. Sowhere theres a machine running it all. If it can be reached, it can be hacked.

I dontthink thats necessarily the case, he said, frowning more deeply.

Oh, co on. You saw that thing! It was an obvious error ssage, in an Earth language. Thats a computer, its a dead giveaway.

Im not sure thats true, is the thing. Yoshi turned toward , intent and animated in a way I hadnt seen him before. I an, think about computer code, Omura. What it is and does. And then compare that to magic.

What? You lost .

Both aresort of comparable, right? Using words and language to give instructions to reality. Code only works on sothing youve built out of microchips and whatnot, and magic is probably based on a similar principle. Its running on sothing, definitely. I doubt its a natural phenonon, sobody set up sothing to make it work. But I dont think this is a situation where were going to find spaceships and robots if we dig deep enough. Us being familiar with computers ans we know an error code when we see one, but magic is definitely sothing entirely different from computers. It would have to be. It just runs on a recognizable logic, because Well, it would have to, right?

Now I was frowning, following his reasoning. And more to the point, finding myself troubled that he had reasoned all this out. I had to acknowledge (silently, to myself) that I hadnt thought the matter through that thoroughly and probably wouldnt have. It wasnt that Yoshi was smarter than or anything, he justhad more brains than Id given him credit for, and different areas of interest.

I do see your point, I grudgingly admitted. Well, shit. And I was so happy there for a little while.

Happy about what? Why does it matter whether or not the magic is technological?

Because magic is bullshit nonsense for babies! I exclaid. Its fantasy! Pure escapism for people who cant cope with whats in front of them. I just I just want my life to make so fucking sense again.

Oh. He nodded slowly, again staring out across the cavern. I guess I can see the point. Its just This seems strangely personal for you, Omura. Like youre, I dunno, offended about being in an isekai.

Thats a good way to put it, yes.

He gave a sidelong look. Im probably gonna regret asking, but What exactly is your problem with otaku?

Oh, the answers I could give to that question. Id been chewing on them for years, practically waiting for an opportunity. Now that one of these kids was finally, actually asking the question, though, I found to my surprise that the weight it held for was balanced by much more recent developnts than my long, simring resentnt and disdain.

Being here, on Dount, I mused after a pause to collect my thoughts, working largely with bandits Its really contextualized the issue of otaku for .

Otaku are like bandits? he said skeptically.

Not entirely, of course, but in an important respect. Tell , Yoshi. Among your crew of nerd friends, whos the loli fan?

His eyebrows lowered slightly, and he glanced to the side.

What makes you think

Theres usually one in every group. At least one. Youre thinking of him, right? You know who it is.

Well, I an Fan might be putting it too strongly, but Issei does enjoy

Uh huh. And see, thats the thing about otaku. Most are social outcasts for no bigger reason than being socially inept and having a poor hobby-life balance. Which isnt really fair, if you think about it. So guys just dont fit in society, and a lot of the ti its because societys expectations arent exactly reasonable.

Im really surprised that you get

So those guys gather together, because human beings crave companionship, and thats naturally where the other guys insert themselves. The ones who are outcast from society for very good fucking reasons. Bandits are like that in a busted wreck of a kingdom like Fflyr Dlemathlys: mostly just folks who were pushed out of the normal social order because that order is designed to be as brutally unfair as possible to almost everyone. And that creates opportunities and hiding places for theothers. The minority. So I try to extend so compassion to people whove been forced to do terrible things by a terrible situation that wasnt their fault, and it ans Ive ended up having to deal with a small handful of psychopaths and murdering sadists mixed in with them. You gathered in groups around your weird little hobbies, just enjoying what you like and not hurting anyone, and since you were all outcasts together it never felt right to exclude the obvious fucking pedophiles. Especially when so much of that ani nakedly panders to them.

Yoshi had gone stiff, fists clenching by his sides, but he wouldnt look at .

I get it, now, I murmured, staring at the distant fire sli. Aster was now lying down; Adelly had leaned her head on Nazralinds shoulder and both of them seed to be asleep sitting up. Gizmit was slowly strolling around the edges of the gathering, on night watch. You may have accidentally given encouragent to sobody whos going to horrifically traumatize the first innocent child theyre left alone with. Its not like thats your fault, though, or anyones but theirs. I do my best to keep control and hold my people to a standard, but Truth is, I have no way of knowing what kinds of terrible things Im indirectly responsible for, or will be. I try, as best I can, but theres just no way to tell. YeahI think I understand it a little better, now. Its not a great look, but maybe I shouldnt have been so quick to judge.

He slowly inhaled, and then exhaled, deliberately relaxing his shoulders. But You have watched ani, though.

Of course Ive seen ani, I didnt live under a rock. Everyone has seen ani. Theres so truly great stuff out there, it only becos weird when you build your whole life around it.

Hows that different from music? he asked, shooting a look.

You can get paid to make music.

You can make ani for a living! People do, thats how it gets made!

Sure, if you wanna starve to death while working for a corporation that sees you as disposable.

He turned toward , staring incredulously. And how is that different from music?

Hey, relax, man. Now whos taking things personally?

Im not the one who has a chip on his shoulder! And if I was, I think thatd be forgivable, frankly. Being a music nerd just ans you dont spend your life being told your hobby is for children and pedophiles!

Hey, I have never thought all animation is for children. Believe . My dad thought that, and thats how I ended up watching Grave of the Fireflies alone, unsupervised, when I was six.

Yoshi winced, sucking in a sharp breath through his teeth. Yikes. Ouch.

Heh. I had to grin, now that it had been enough years. I barely rember it, but my mom says I cried for almost two straight days. But yeah, anyway, Ill cop to finding all of this pretty personal. Maybe it wasnt fair of to be so contemptuous back on Earthmaybebut here? I believe Im pretty fucking entitled to be pissed about isekai. I live in one. And frankly, it fucking sucks.

He folded himself up awkwardly, drawing his knees up against his chest and wrapping his arms around them.

Hey, Omura.

Mm?

Do youactually think this is a ga? To the goddesses, I an.

I made myself breathe evenly. Well Pashilyn wasnt entirely without a point. Whether it is or not, Virya isnt exactly a reliable narrator.

Sure, I know. But do you think it is?

Yes. I can only hold back my frank opinions for so long. Yes, I am absolutely convinced both goddesses are just bored entities with too much power whove been alive too long to empathize with mortal people. I think theyre amusing themselves at the expense of our lives and those of everyone else on this hell planet.

Sanora warned

He trailed off, and I forced myself to be content with looking sidelong, not staring with all the intensity in my being. I was deeply interested in learning what Sanora had warned him about.

Ive been thinking, he whispered at last. It was just a stray thought at first, but after you said that I

Yoshi paused again, swallowing painfully. I waited.

Suddenly, Im the only guy on my team. , the Hero, alone with three cute girls. Andand I cant help thinking Its clawing at . Diddid she just Was Raffan in the way of my harem story? Is that why he died?

I breathed. Slowly, softly.

This was no ti to press the conclusion I wanted to draw him to. I an, it would be a really shitty thing to do in this situation, but it also wasnt right strategically. I would get better results in the long term by being reasonable, and fair, and not giving him any cause to think I was trying to manipulate him. I had the luxury of acting this way because I was fucking right. The truth was on my side here, not Sanoras.

Well, its not like we have anyway of knowing exactly what the goddesses are or arent capable of. Stillmy gut says no. They definitely have ways of putting their fingers on the scales, but those all have to do with their magic system. Theres a hundred ways for them to decide who gets what spell or artifact or Blessing or Spirit reward, or It goes on and on. Its not hard for them to manipulate us all where they want us to be. But a chaotic situation like that, in the middle of a fight? I kind of dont think so. Biribo told the goddesses arent allowed to cheat directlythat they do, but they have to be careful and subtle about it because if either is caught cheating, the other gets a free action.

He nodded. Radatina said that, too.

Yeah. So, no, we obviously cant say anything for sure, but in that case? It doesnt feel right, to .

Yoshis next deep breath sounded so relieved I almost hated to continue.

But.

He went completely rigid.

I was taking a risk, here. This was flirting with more information than I should betray to the Hero, but if there was ever a ti

I have a situation that I know was set up by Virya. She didnt tell so outright, but its laid out in the specific spells and abilities and circumstances she placed right in front of when I first landed on Ephera. Ihave a spell that enables to share powers with monster girls, Yoshi. It only works on attractive won, which is the kind of stupid and arbitrary thing that only an aggressively diocre light novel author or weaboo goddess could possibly co up with. I am practically forced to collect a monster girl harem to survive on this world. Soat least one of them definitely wants to watch a harem show, this ti around.

Slowly, Yoshi lowered his face to rest in his arms. His shoulders moved heavily as he did his best to breathe evenly for the next few minutes. I left him alone to gather himself.

He was the first friend I made here, the Hero finally said, in a voice that was muffled by more than his own arms.

Im sorry.

We sat together in silence.