For Hang Feng, if life could be described in colors, the first decade and a half of his existence was painted in shades of gray.
Dull, monotonous, and uneventful—a straight line from one point to another.
But then, Song Yi appeared, and everything began to change.
A purple five-dollar bill, a pink strawberry milk, and an olive-green turtle—these strange and random things inexplicably entered his life, shattering the monotony he had grown accustod to.
At first, Hang Feng was naturally resistant.
From the mont she tossed that five-dollar bill at him, treating him like a beggar, this peculiar story seed to spiral out of control.
He had never t soone like Song Yi before. Even when he ignored her, she would chatter away for hours, saying things that left him at a loss for words.
No matter what he did, in Song Yi's eyes, it was always interpreted as a sign that he liked her.
Back then, Hang Feng found it laughable, annoying, and even sowhat repulsive.
He wished Song Yi would stay away, so his life could return to its quiet, undisturbed state.
For Hang Feng, rely surviving was already a struggle; he had no energy to deal with any disruptions.
Little did he know that Song Yi would beco the biggest surprise of his life.
As she had jokingly predicted, by the end of the story, he had indeed fallen for her.
A young man's love is subtle and silent, like the quiet of a moonless night.
He wanted to stay by her side, and gradually, his gaze began to linger on her. Yet, he had no idea how to express his feelings.
To Hang Feng, they were from entirely different worlds.
The fact that she was willing to be his friend, to pull him out of his small world and introduce him to everything beyond it, felt like an impossible dream.
The more she treated him kindly, the more he felt unworthy of her.
Even when she said things that weren't particularly endearing or appeared in situations that caught him off guard, these unexpected interactions only deepened his affection for her.
An accidental kiss, strange vows under the streetlights, her nonsensical ramblings, her companionship on his birthday, the scarf that carried her warmth, her gentle hand wiping away his tears, and the way she held up a cake, wishing all his dreams would co true.
Unknowingly, they had shared so many monts together.
These mories would stay with him for a lifeti, never to be forgotten.
He might never et soone like her again.
She was soone who feared the cold, yet her presence ward everyone around her.
Her kindness toward him didn't feel special—it was simply a reflection of her innate goodness.
He kept telling himself not to get too close, like a moth drawn to a fla, knowing it would end in nothing.
But if emotions could be restrained by reason, they wouldn't be love.
Her arrival was like a dull star discovering its moon in the endless darkness.
Though the moon didn't belong to him, its light reached him just as it did everyone else.
For Hang Feng, this was already the rarest blessing in his life.
So he approached her cautiously, as if standing near her light would make him shine too.
But a moon as pure and radiant as her shouldn't have too much to do with a star like him. She deserved the sun by her side.
After all, she deserved the best this world had to offer.
Hang Feng didn't know what was best for Song Yi, but he was certain it wasn't him.
Soone like him had no right to stand beside her.
He carefully concealed his feelings, maintaining their friendship and cherishing every day they spent together.
He harbored a selfish wish: that this balance would remain unbroken, so he could stay by her side a little longer, even if just for one more day.
But when Xu Che took away the turtle Song Yi had given him, a growing sense of unease settled in.
The natural bond of blood made Hang Feng instinctively understand why Xu Che had done it.
It felt as though sothing was tearing apart, screaming to disrupt the fragile peace.
Love, once a secret, suddenly felt like a vulnerability that exposed his fragile pride.
At the sa ti, Hang Feng found it absurd.
Was Xu Che... competing with him?
How laughable, that Xu Che thought Song Yi was his to claim.
This subtle feeling of possessiveness took hold of his heart, and for a mont, Hang Feng wished it could be true.
But alas, their shared bloodline destined them to the sa insecurities and habitual restraint. Neither would be the first to break the silence.
It wasn't until the day after their college entrance exams, when Shen Yujing posted a photo on social dia, that Hang Feng could no longer deceive himself.
For the first ti in his life, he took the initiative, even though he knew it was too late. He confessed his feelings, telling her that he liked her too.
He rembered the vow Song Yi had asked him to make, and the dream they had shared.
Whether it was real or not, he would keep his promise.
Their eting ended with a friendly hug. He held his moon gently, then chose to let her remain just that—a moon.
Whether it was a lie, love, or sothing more complicated, it was ti to let it end.
Hang Feng believed that Song Yi, being so intelligent, would make the best choice for herself.
Even as he tried to console himself, the thought of Shen Yujing—that idiot—made him laugh bitterly.
What did Shen Yujing have that he didn't?
After much thought, he realized it was simply that he could never be as completely open and honest with her as Shen Yujing was.
And knowing Song Yi, she valued absolute transparency—sothing he could never offer.
It wasn't that he had any dark secrets to hide, but years of hardship and habit had made it impossible for him to believe that soone could love him completely.
To Hang Feng, loving him was simply not worth it.
Perhaps it was for the best.
He couldn't promise that loving Song Yi wouldn't hurt her, no matter how carefully he tried to hide his own thorns.
Soone who had never been fully loved found it hard to love others in return.
He was like that, Jiang Yiheng was like that, and even Xu Che was the sa.
Maybe that was why she chose Shen Yujing.
He hoped Shen Yujing would love her well, so he could accept his defeat with grace.
In ti, perhaps all of this would fade.
Maybe his life wouldn't remain stuck in that sumr, and he would move on to new beginnings, perhaps even et soone new.
But the mont that thought crossed his mind, he dismissed it.
No, it was impossible.
For him, there would never be anyone better than her.
He would always rember that eighteenth birthday, the warmth she had brought into his life, and the hand that had pulled him out of the darkness.
Her arrival had ushered him into a completely different life, showing him that there were things in this world worth holding onto.
She would have a bright future, a loving husband, and a happy family. She would undoubtedly beco the happiest person in the world.
If Shen Yujing allowed it, he would stand by her side as a groomsman on her wedding day.
But for Hang Feng, the eighteen-year-old version of himself would always be with the eighteen-year-old Song Yi.
In that old alley, in that school, during that year they had crossed paths, in every day and night he had loved her.
Closing his eyes, Hang Feng couldn't help but recall that dream.
It had been a terrible nightmare, but now he was grateful for it.
Because he knew it would never co true.
No one in this world wished for Song Yi's happiness more than he did.
As for his own happiness? It lay in seeing her smile.
That was enough.
Perhaps one day, when he beca a skilled psychologist, he could even counsel himself.
For now, he wasn't ready to forget what it felt like to love her.
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