1. Group Date Disaster Planning Committee
It was Airi’s idea.
And that’s how you know things were already dood.
"We need a group date," she said, holding a clipboard. "To strengthen team synergy, reduce jealousy, and maybe—just maybe—keep Ayaka from setting anything else on fire."
Ayaka: "I make no promises."
Mirelle: "Do I have to go?"
Lilith: "I vote for wine and a spa instead."
Chainsaw-Chan revved her chainsaw. "If I’m not invited, I’ll carve my na into the moon."
Luna: "We need emotional healing. Or at least less stabbing."
Sayuri nodded. "I’ll bring snacks."
: "Can I just stay in bed?"
Everyone: "NO."
2. The Date Location: Magical Wedding Expo (Why Tho)
We were supposed to go to a neutral, calm place.
So of course the portal malfunctioned and dumped us in the Magical Interdinsional Wedding Expo.
Yes, that’s real.
There were:
Floating cake tastings,
Talking veils offering "spicy vows,"
And an entire section labeled "Customizable Groom Cloning" which I quickly avoided.
Lilith: "This is... oddly on brand."
Arisu (the ti-traveling wife) calmly picked up a brochure. "Oh look, they still do tiline-compatible ring enchantnts."
Ayaka: "Who brought us here?!"
Airi (checking the map): "Um... oops."
3. The Accidental Proposal
So here’s the thing.
At this expo, if two people say a vow together while holding matching enchanted rings, it triggers a Binding Premarital Contract.
Which is like marriage, except the divorce involves lava lawyers.
Guess what happened?
I was trying on a ring for fun. Lilith leaned over and said:
"Don’t get ideas, but that one does suit you."
I replied—sarcastically, I swear:
"Guess we’re married now."
The ring glowed.
The floor shook.
A giant bell rang in the sky, echoing through ten dinsions.
And a robotic voice announced:
"PREMARITAL BONDING DETECTED. INITIATING TRIAL MARRIAGE PHASE. BRIDAL BATTLE MODE: ACTIVATED."
: "WAIT WHAT."
Lilith: "You absolute idiot."
Chainsaw-Chan: "DID YOU JUST MARRY HER?!"
Luna, already crying: "He was supposed to propose in the moonlight..."
Ayaka threw a fireball at my head.
4. The Bridal Battle Begins
A do descended around the expo.
Each girl was teleported into a Battle Arena of Affection.
The only way to cancel the binding?
They all had to compete in wedding-thed challenges to win back the "groom" (), and prove the ring wasn’t "destined."
It was like a romantic reality show from hell.
Trial 1: Vow-Off Poetry Battle
Sayuri won by threatening to kill if I didn’t pick her.
Arisu’s was so beautiful I almost cried.
Chainsaw-Chan just revved. Loudly.
Trial 2: Dress Duel
Ayaka wore literal flas.
Mirelle’s gown froze ti for 3 seconds.
Lilith wore red. That’s it. Red. And won.
Trial 3: Cake Catapult Catching Contest
I got hit in the face.
Twice.
5. Luna’s Secret Weapon
Just when things were about to collapse into full-scale wedding war, Luna calmly stepped forward and summoned the Celestial Divorce Hamr.
(Yes, that’s real too.)
She bonked the ring with divine moonlight, breaking the enchantnt and cancelling the accidental engagent.
A choir of ghostly divorce lawyers groaned and vanished.
I collapsed to the floor, dazed and covered in frosting.
Lilith whispered, "You’re lucky you’re cute."
Chainsaw-Chan tried to launch herself at .
Sayuri pulled out a kunai.
Mirelle muttered, "Let’s just freeze him and pick later."
Luna: "Group therapy. Tomorrow. Everyone. No excuses."
6. The "Oops" Aftermath
We were eventually escorted out of the expo by magical security guards shaped like tuxedo cats.
I limped ho.
Arisu walked beside , quiet as always.
"You almost married another girl," she said softly.
I sighed. "Not on purpose."
"Next ti," she said, "make it count. Even if it’s not ."
She smiled. Sadly. And walked away.
And that night, I dread of all of them—laughing, fighting, crying, loving—because sohow, they’d all gotten into my heart.
...And I’m not sure there’s a way out.
End of Chapter 29
✅ Call to Action:
💍 Should Kazuki actually propose... on purpose next ti?
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And if you’re ready for Chapter 30 – "My Accidental Fiancées Form a Band and I’m the Backup Dancer", just say the word!
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