I could feel and hear my own heart in my ears - yet I wasn't nervous, I didn't feel apprehensive, sensitive… regardless, I continued to thump away wildly so calmly.
Amanda moved again, and it was like my insides beca a venue for the longest drum solo ever perford. Her warm, supple fingers hitting every snare, splashing every cymbal, and pounding the resounding timpanis in the chaotic neutral beats of her simple whims.
My body was an instrunt, and she played the prodigious composer.
"Hmm…" She softly whimpered; a fascinated smile in the corner of my eyes.
"Hmm?" I inquired back.
"Nothing, you're just… I never noticed you're actually a little toned out," She said, slowly and smoothly swiveling her hands around my stomach and chest. "Skinny but surprisingly sturdy, apparently. One of the perks of growing up as a farmhand, I suppose?"
"I was actually fitter a year before. But as you can probably tell, I haven't been exercising much lately."
"Really?" She asked, interest piqued. "You an, like, with abs and all?"
"A little bit, yeah."
"Ooo," her soft breath went breezing, giggling, sending my skin rippling with goosebumps. "I'd very much like to see that, please."
"Maybe when I feel like it."
She was understandably quite unsatisfied with my answer, but what was she gonna do - have do a hundred reps right here right now on her bathroom floor? Sighing, she rested her head against and simply accepted things as is.
"And I'm only just realizing I barely know the you before I knew you," Amanda mused, slowly guiding her hands in a slippery slide across my arms. "Besides being a forr hunk, is there anything else interesting about you before? Oh, and don't say you don't, alright? Because everyone does."
"But I don't."
"I'll be the judge of that," she said simply, insisting with a finger poking into my left cheek. "Now, c'mon, I wanna know how you were like! From before - tell about your school days. How was suave little Chester like in his fledgling years?"
"Roughly the sa, more or less."
"Huh, that's exactly what your sister told . Word for word."
"You asked Sammy about ? When was this?"
"How about friends?" She pressed on, deaf apparently, montarily. "Any I should be introduced to? Any besties?"
"Acquaintances," I said, flinching a little, feeling her hand dig into my ribs. "I'm not particularly social, you know that. I sat far in the back, and I didn't really talk unless spoken to first."
"So, what - no outings? You never stayed over at soone else's house or played football in a field? Nothing like that at all?"
"I'm happy just staying back and watching."
"Wow," her hands stayed in place for a mont, gazing at from the side in amazent. "What a… fascinating life you lived."
"The best," I sighed, happy and content. "How about you, huh? Top of your class. Ace in all your clubs. The center of everyone's attention. Probably made Hocoming Queen too, didn't you?"
She blew her lips, sounding gruffer than a horse. "Boring."
"Yeah, I can imagine."
In actuality, after the things I've heard from her mother, I didn't really have to. Boring was right… right up until our paths crossed, that was her only sentint throughout her whole life. It's unnervingly amazing how soone so full of life could feel so empty living it.
Being with her now, you wouldn't even guess…
"And how about when it cos to young love?" She asked, and from the way she said it, I could tell she was particularly paying close attention now. "Even you must have had soone especially special back then… a brief fling, hm?"
But to her dismay, or rather, delight, I shook my head.
Amanda let out a snort. "A young hunk like you? No small crushes even? From your side or even…?"
And to her surprise, and much to my own as well, I gave a brief pause feeling long-forgotten mories stir.
"There was this one girl before…" I slowly began, blinking, and suddenly finding Amanda with her head sticking out far over my shoulder. "I forgot her na - it's so long ago. But I rember she was in my history… no, science, she was in my science class. Or was it both?"
"Doesn't matter," Amanda said, leaning so close my back was practically on fire from her warmth. "Just keep going. Why her? Like, what was it about her specifically that caught your eye?"
"I can't narrow it to specifics, Amanda. I don't know - she was pretty. Pretty to the point that she was quite popular. She was nice, she was funny, and she helped with my assignnt once when I was having trouble."
"You had a crush on her 'cause she helped you with howork?"
"Obviously, there's more to it than that. She's just… I dunno, for so reason, younger really found that girl quite appealing."
"Nice, funny, pretty…" Amanda listed off. "Ah well, they're reasonable enough reasons for prepubescent boys, I suppose."
"Actually," I squinted hard, squeezing my mind trying to rember. "She had blonde hair too, if I'm rembering right."
"Oh?" Her eyes widened. "Okay, blonde, sure. And…?"
"And what do you want to say?" I asked, limply flailing my arms. "We share classes, we wave at each other before and after class. I sat beside her on the bus one ti. What are you hoping to hear?"
"Even more!" She exclaid encouragingly. "This is good stuff! Young love! Maybe it'll even provide so insight as to how you work inside and out."
"You're wasting your ti."
"I'll be the judge of that."
"Look, I just had a crush on this one girl one ti. I was young, hormonal - who hasn't, right? End of story."
"End of story? Really?" Amanda threw a dubious look, her brows rising high behind her bangs. "You really didn't do anything about it? The man so upfront about how he feels, I keep hearing about them every other mont? Yeah, I don't believe you."
God, even when she's halfway dazed and unhinged from a blazing fever, nothing I do and say gets past this woman. It's like she knows what I knew, but she doesn't - she couldn't. I could barely rember it myself… nevertheless, even in my younger years, sohow she just knows every inch of . Down to even my actions, to what I'd done in a ti long ago.
"Okay, alright," I gulped, bracing myself for the impending coming. "I wrote her a letter once…"
"A letter?!" Amanda broke into a high chortle which quickly fizzled into wheezes, jerking the both of us to and fro. Once she subsided, only a faint smirk linger in her amusent, tracing a line of soap across my chest with the tip of her finger. "My, my, even as a teenager, you're still so cheesy… a letter. Oh, a love letter. Aww, that's so adorable. I want one now."
"Forget it," I told her straight. "It's Mom's influence - she's the culprit. Got indoctrinated by all her sappy rom-coms ever since I knew how to speak. Had thinking real life was just like one of her movies."
"Well, tell her she did a fine job raising the best boy ever in the whole wide world," She said, grinning broadly and nuzzling. "C'mon, just one tiny letter… pretty please? You can write about how lovely you think my breasts are~"
This girl…
"No, Amanda. I'm already dying just telling you about it."
"Tsk, fine, I'll pester you about it so other ti. But for now, though…" She shook again, acting like an excited little kid at the edge of her seat. "Spill it already! What was in the letter? What'd you write?"
"It's so long ago now, I don't rember the details," I said honestly. "But I know I did write about how I felt for her. All the things I liked about her. And that, if maybe she felt the sa way about … to just hand the letter back in person during class. I stuck it in her locker before school started. I know, I know…" I groaned, hearing the silent restraint of her giggles. "Cheesy, cliche, but… back then in my head I thought it was the perfect setup."
"It is. It's perfectly perfect. I love it. I love it so, so much! Ahh, I want it…" She fawned and cooed and yearned so longingly. "Ugh, this girl has no idea how freaking lucky she… never mind… alright, and then? what happened next?"
"I was a nervous wreck the whole day in school. Every ti the bell rang, I expected to bump into her sowhere in the hall. Then history rolled around, last period of the day. I took my seat. A few monts later, she shows up, takes hers right next to … and she waved hello. I looked around, but she didn't have the letter anywhere, so I just waved back at her, and… that was it."
"No!" She groaned, sounding quite disheartened. "She just ignored you like that?"
"After school, I found my letter all balled up in the rubbish bin next to the lockers. So, technically, I did receive my answer."
Amanda was visibly upset, more than that, she actually seed crossed - holding onto even tighter to the point she had the side of her face completely squished against my shoulder.
"That is so freaking - !"
"I don't bla her, and there are no hard feelings, 'kay?" I quickly interjected. "In her point of view, I was just a guy in her class, a classmate she sotis talks to out of, like, dozens of others. She has better friends, and better people to talk to. After the letter incident, we carried on like normal all the way through graduation."
"Still! She knows how you feel about her and to act like she doesn't the way she did! Even if you don't feel the sa way, you should at least let them know! How she acted is just so…!
"Immature?," I suggested, lightly patting her soaked head of hair in an attempt to simr her down. "Teenagers, Amanda. We aren't exactly known to be the brightest at that age. I don't hold anything against her, and neither should you."
too."
"Her loss, then," Amanda huffed, still very much feeling spiteful, clinging even firr. "And all my gain I smiled, laying my hands over hers. "And mine just as much."
"If only I'd t you much sooner than I had," She muttered wistfully. "I could have been your high-school sweetheart. Hold hands between classes, head ho together, share our first kiss with each other…"
"Now who's being cheesy?"
"Well, doesn't matter now, anyway," She said, breathing blissfully against my skin. "I'm just happy I got the chance to fall in love with you when I did. No cheesy love letters necessary. And let tell you, that girl has no idea what she's missing out on…"
"Considering my life so far, I'd say that girl had actually dodged a bullet here."
"All worth it," Amanda bluntly stated. "Being with you makes it all worth it."
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