As expected, nothing substantial ca out of visiting Ria tonight. Really, it was the magical, mythical equivalent of a bedside hospital visit… only without the hospital, and without the bedside.
I can see why these visits were normally strictly a family-only ordeal, because when you got outsiders, strangers like , loitering around nearby… it doesn't make for much of a tender mont.
Irene simply stared away at her in silence, she didn't move an inch closer, she didn't even touch her.
If she had any words, anything at all she wanted to say, sothing she's had simring on the inside all this ti, sothing's she kept buried deep just yearning to be let out finally… then, I've never heard her breathe a single word of it.
Since we arrived here, and then afterward, when we finally left there, it stayed buried, it stayed simring.
After gently propping Ria at the base and beneath the shade of the largest tree, we were back to strolling along the beaten path again.
All in all, we were probably in there for at most ten minutes, could barely be considered any ti spent at all… and yet sohow it felt like the ti that was the most exhaustively spent.
It was going to be a long, even more exhaustive walk back to the parking lot, sothing I knew Irene was sincerely regretting right there, and then by the way she was shambling and lumbering forward. Not that her proud, prideful self would ever dare admit it.
As we walked by a random bench to it, her head imdiately veered towards it as she found the perfect excuse.
"Let's stop here for a mont," She proclaid at once, jutting a foot one awkward step at a ti. She caught my eye, and before I could ask why, she was a reason shy of being sly. "It's a waste of a trip if we leave now, might as well enjoy so stargazing while we're still here, right?"
The mont she sat down and relieved her feet of all pressure, the pure unabated relief that rippled across her expression was like nothing I've ever seen before.
I let her have the mont, and so wordlessly, I followed along and placed myself just right beside her.
"Know where Orion's at?"
So there we were, just a couple of lovebirds out on a night out on a bench, illuminated solely by the light of a lamppost on the verge of fizzling out, silently watching the rare occasional passersby pass us by.
Not the most romantic of escapades, to be quite frank.
Irene was busy stroking an ankle to pay mind to anything else, her fancy high heel hanging loosely by the tip of her foot as she did. I rembered staring, and I just couldn't help myself to a little snark.
"The price to pay for beauty, huh?" I said.
"For tonight?" Irene slipped her foot into the high heel again, clacking it once firmly on the paved dirt. "No price is too high."
"Fancy dinner, fancy dress, fancy shoes," I gave her a quizzical look. "Did you forget you're wooing a country boy here?"
"Oh gosh, you're right. Should have worn a pair of rancher boots, strap on so suspenders, get a pluck of hay to nibble on, perhaps wear a straw hat too… I'll have you all mine in an instant like that."
"Oh, Woah, Irene," I blew out a hot breath, sweating hard with desire. "Save the dirty talk for the bedroom."
"Put on a southern accent, maybe."
"Oh God, just take now, why don't you?"
To stop from lting into a gooey puddle of passion, I began to fan myself with both hands. Unsurprisingly, Irene stared the humorless stare at , and rolled her eyes rightfully away elsewhere, crossing her arms, and sighing away her last inkling of hope.
I smiled at that. If she could react the way she did and speak the way she did, that ans I was no longer facing the grouching, intimidating version of her at the mont, which was a good sign… her mood's significantly improving.
That being said, Irene was far from being all sunshine and daisies. The air she gave off was distant still, in spite of being a single inch apart from one another, she felt so far away.
Sothing was troubling her. Sothing simring, yearning to break free.
Any other ti and I'd have no qualms coaxing it out of her in her own ti, but for this ti, there simply was no ti for any of that.
I scooted myself closer, shortening that far distant inch between us. "What's bothering you, Irene?"
When she didn't say anything, I tried to guess.
"Is it about the mory thing still?" I asked, poking my head out trying to find her gaze. "Is it Ria?"
"I can handle Ria," She said, doing all she could to keep looking away. "And I can definitely handle my mories being picked and prodded. Those things, I can handle them no problem."
"Then what can't you handle?" Again, she wasn't saying, leaving once more speculating aloud, and this ti, I believe, I was getting dangerously close. "Ash?"
Too close… from the way she seed to stiffen. "?"
"Underlying affections," She muttered.
I titled my head. "What?"
"I can't handle your underlying affection," She said slowly, speaking as if she was forcefully wrenching it out of her lips. "And I can't handle hers either," but once she got them out, she had them all flooding out. "You noticed the way she looked at you the mont you showed up? Did you notice how you looked at her the mont you saw her? I definitely noticed… it was all I could see… standing there between you two.
"I'd feel so much better if you guys weren't so hush-hush about your feelings for each other. I'd prefer if you two just show it outright. Smile at each other, hold hands, talk… I can handle that easier. But the way you two just silently stare at each other like you have sothing to hide, a secret to keep. It's like I'm - I'm intruding, imposing myself between you two, as if I'm in the way. And I know I'm in the way, arrogantly, selfishly… I just… didn't want to be reminded of it, I suppose."
Her hands, she's fallen to that nervous habit of hers again… squeezing her fingers, stroking her palms. Steadfast and unwavering in the face of peril, and yet ek and timid when it ca to things like this.
And when it did co to things like this, she's also had this bad tendency of overthinking things too much. It sorta reminds of soone else in particular…
"So you want to be honest about my feelings with Ash?" I asked.
"I already know you love her," She said, trying in vain to keep her tone indifferent, yet ultimately failing. "You obviously… did stuff already too."
"We kissed for the first ti before I left for our date," I promptly replied, and she flinched - turning a single unblinking eye towards . I asked her, "Does that feel any better?"
"Not…" Her head shook lightly. "Not really…"
"Then there's sothing else you aren't handling well," I said, leaning out towards her even more now. "Should I... take another guess, or do you know what it is already?"
Her silence was a firm, loud 'no' made apparent, but the squirming of her hands, and the way her heels were digging narrow trenches across the dirt, all I was hearing was an even firr, louder...
"Yes you do, Irene," My voice was calm. I took a page out of her book and kept speaking with confidence. "Stop acting like you don't. Co on, weren't you the one who said you didn't like things being kept hush-hush?"
"It's… it's a childish thing," ca the whisper from her trembling lips. "It's really nothing."
"It sounds like sothing to ," I said.
"I -! Looks it's… it's a personal issue, it's nothing you should be concerned about, it's-it's really…" Like the lamp above our heads, she fizzled out, and it took a while to sputter that composure of hers back to life, but after a series of long sighs, and tugging at her ponytail, she whirled around towards again, staring face-to-face, her cheeks blazing with color. "Promise you won't laugh at ?"
I raised my pinkie forward, smiling. "You want to do another pact for that promise?"
"It's how you look at her!" She stamred out awkwardly and clumsily. "It's because of that, alright? I'm jealous of that!"
If she expected to understand her straightaway, then I'm sorry to disappoint. I took a mont to comprehend it, and when I didn't, I frowned.
"I thought we already got over that a minute ago," I said.
"No, no, it's not that!" She said, clenching a tight trembling fist, exasperated. "It's-It's different from that."
"Different how?"
"When you look at her, you freeze. Your head stops moving, and your eyes don't blink, and then nothing else seems to matter to you. You're stunned, you're speechless, you're captivated, and I - !"
"And you…?" I urged her on.
She lowered her hand, blinking in a grimace. "I can't get you to look at the sa way you look at her no matter what I do - and it isn't just tonight! It's every other ti. Call it an inferiority complex, call it jealousy, call it pettiness for all I care! But it just… infuriates … argh, it's aggravating!"
Irene was getting redder and redder by the second. It's to the point where soon her stark red dress would be the least striking about her appearance.
"I want you to catch your breath the mont I walk into a room. I want to be able to trip you off your feet whenever you catch sight of . To have you stare at , to only stare at , and not be able to look away no matter how hard you try! I want - I want you to want ."
She leaned in close.
"I want you to desire ."
Closer.
"I want you to long for ."
Dangerously close.
"More so than any other."
Her scent was creeping, seeping, filling my mind. So close, our noses could touch. So close, I could see myself reflecting back in her irises. So close, that my rationale could so easily slip. A brief lapse in judgnt, in logic… it could so easily slip.
I was slipping.
I was catching my breath, I was squirming my feet, and most importantly, I was completely unable to look away from her. Irene got what she wanted… and all it took was closing the gap, getting just that inch closer.
Yet, for so reason, Irene drew away, and that mont - that brief lapse, that one second of only her and I, and no other - was gone.
"But not like this," She said, sighing. "Artificially. Unwillingly. When you look at , when you want … kiss … I want it to be real, genuine," I heard her gulp, she was swallowing it down, that pride of hers - gone, leaving only her stare, real, genuine. "So do you.... do you think you could make it real?"
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