I unlocked my apartnt door and stepped inside, dropping my bag on the floor. I went straight to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, leaning against the counter.
’Ti to fix this.’
I pulled out my phone and found Jake’s number. My thumb hit the call button without hesitating.
It rang twice.
"Hello?" His voice was small, barely a whisper.
"Hey, it’s ."
There was a pause on the other end. "Oh. Hey."
He sounded completely defeated. This was my fault.
"Listen," I started, keeping my own voice even. "My plan today was a mistake. I’m sorry."
Another pause. "I did what you said."
"I know. That’s the problem." I ran a hand through my hair, pacing around the kitchen. "I turned you into a robot. That’s on ."
"She left," he mumbled. "After you guys did. We talked for another two minutes, and then she just said her brain was fried and she had to go."
"I know. She said it felt like an interrogation."
A frustrated sigh ca through the speaker. "I knew it. I was being so weird, wasn’t I? I was trying so hard to rember all the stuff about the lines."
"That’s what I’m sorry about," I stopped pacing. "I shouldn’t have given you a script. That’s not how it works."
"So what am I supposed to do?" The desperation was back in his voice. "I can’t just talk to her. I’ll freeze."
"Yeah, you will. Probably."
"That’s not helpful, man."
I walked over to the couch and sank into the cushions. "The new plan is this. There is no plan."
"What?"
"You’re going to talk to her like a normal person. Not like you’re trying to unlock an achievent. If you freeze, you freeze. If you say sothing stupid, you say sothing stupid. It’s fine."
"But what if she thinks I’m a weirdo?"
"She might. Or she might think you’re a normal, awkward guy who’s a little nervous. People can usually tell the difference."
I could hear him just breathing on the other end, thinking.
"Just be you, man," I continued. "The guy who goes around gossiping and putting his nose in other people’s business. That guy is more interesting than the robot I tried to build. Let her see that person. If she likes him, cool. If she doesn’t, that’s cool too. At least it’ll be real."
A long pause stretched out. "So I just... wing it?"
"Yeah. You wing it."
"But what if I wing it straight into a wall?" The panic was creeping back into his voice.
I let out a breath, trying to channel so of Nina’s calm. "Then you hit a wall. It’s not the end of the world. It’s just a conversation. She’s just a person, not the final boss of the ga."
"She kind of feels like it," he mumbled.
I almost smiled. "I get it. But you can’t level-grind for this. You just have to go for it. And if you crash and burn, you get up and you try again later. Or you don’t. But at least you’ll know you tried being yourself."
Another long silence. I could hear the gears turning in his head.
"Okay," he finally said, his voice a little steadier. "No plan. Just... be a person. I can try that."
"Good. Now I’m hanging up before you ask about dumb shit."
I could hear his sputtered protest as I ended the call and tossed my phone onto the couch. My work as the world’s worst wingman was, for the mont, done.
---
The phone call with Jake ended, and my apartnt was suddenly way too quiet. I looked around the room, at the couch, at the TV, at the stack of manga on my coffee table. It was still early and I was bored, and the idea of just sitting here until it was dark enough to sleep felt like a waste.
’I should go out.’
I would have gone for a run but walking seed like a better option for now. I just wanted to move, to be sowhere that wasn’t inside these sa walls.
I put on my shoes and just walked out the door, not even really thinking about where I was going. The afternoon sun was warm, and the street was pretty quiet, just a few cars passing by and the sound of a lawnmower in the distance.
I walked past houses I’d seen a million tis but never really looked at, noticing the little details, like a cat sleeping in a window or a weird-looking garden gno.
Up ahead, I saw Mrs. Kaiti from a few houses down, a sweet old lady with a massive collection of brightly colored watering cans. She was on her knees in her front garden, tending to a huge rose bush.
My old instinct would have been to just keep my head down and walk past without making eye contact, but that felt stupid now.
’Just say hi. It’s a normal person thing to do.’
"Hello, Mrs. Kaiti," I called out when I got closer.
She looked up, shielding her eyes from the sun with a dirt-covered hand. "Oh, Kofi! Goodness, I almost didn’t recognize you. That new haircut is very handso."
"Thank you. Your roses are looking good."
She bead, a proud look on her face as she patted one of the big, red flowers. "Aren’t they? They’re my pride and joy. The secret is coffee grounds in the soil. They just love it."
"Huh. I didn’t know that."
"Well, now you do," she said with a wink. "It’s nice seeing you out and about, dear. You’re usually in such a hurry to get ho."
’Yeah, a hurry to go be a loner.’
"Just enjoying the weather.".
"Well, you have a lovely afternoon," she said, turning her attention back to a pesky weed near the base of the bush. "And don’t be a stranger."
"I won’t."
I kept walking, a small smile on my face. That was easy. It was just a normal conversation, and it wasn’t weird at all. The whole interaction probably took less than a minute, but it felt like a bigger deal than it was.
I ended up at the park, the sa one where Nina and I had our first real talk. I didn’t go to our bench, but found a different one under a big tree, and just sat for a while. A couple of little kids were trying to fly a kite that kept nose-diving into the grass, their dad laughing as he tried to help them.
’A few weeks ago, I would have hated this. Being outside, around people. Now it’s... okay.’
I wasn’t an overthinking loner anymore. I was just a guy, sitting on a park bench on a nice day.
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