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Chapter 87
~Valerie’s POV~
It wasn’t like with Dristan—hesitant, sweet, like he wasn’t sure he deserved it and still filled with fire.
Or Xade, who was raw and hungry, yet sweet.
No, this was fire and raw hunger laced with gentle seduction. Axel kissed like I was his.
My fingers clutched him like he was the only thing keeping from collapsing.
My head spun, heat building beneath my skin. His scent flooded my senses—spice and earth and sothing darker—and my control slipped.
Astra surged and I fought to gain control.
Her voice echoed in my skull, purring. "Let go, Valerie. Let have this. Just once."
"No," I growled internally, even as my body leaned in, even as Axel’s hand moved up my side and his lips claid mine deeper. "No, Astra, stop—"
But she clawed harder, pushing to give in, dragging my resistance to the edge of a cliff and threatening to shove it over.
And I almost lost completely, letting her win until we sensed it.
A subtle presence—barely there but close.
A prickling sensation ran down my spine, like the air had shifted, like I was no longer alone with him.
"Soone’s watching."
My comnt had made Astra freeze mid-kiss, my lips still parted beneath Axel’s. I took hold of that mont and jerked back to focus.
My mind spun with the possibility of who it could have been.
Although it was faint and distant, it was there. I didn’t know if it was Dristan, or Xade, or maybe soone else entirely—but I could feel eyes on before it totally disappeared.
My heart stuttered.
That awareness was like a slap. A cold jolt through the fog Astra had pulled over .
No. Not like this. Not when I don’t even know who’s out there watching. Not when this isn’t all .
I clenched my fists and yanked myself back—ntally and physically. My grip on Astra snapped tight, shoving her down into silence.
Her frustrated growl echoed in my skull, but I didn’t care. My mouth broke from Axel’s. I sucked in a breath like I’d been underwater.
"Valerie?" Axel’s voice was low, confused, still laced with heat. He tried to follow, to close the distance again as his hand reached for my cheek to caress it, but I held up a hand, pressing it against his chest. "No."
Axel stilled. "What—"
"I can’t," I breathed, my voice trembling even though I tried to keep it steady. "Not now."
His brows furrowed. "Why?"
I didn’t answer right away. My eyes darted past his shoulder, scanning the shadows between the trees, the far edge of the dorm’s courtyard. The sensation of being watched had faded, but the chill lingered.
"I just can’t," I said again in a firr voice.
"I need to be in control of myself. Not her." I tapped my temple lightly.
"Valerie, talk to ." Axel leaned in again. "I know you fe..."
"I’m not..." I whispered, cutting him short, the words brushing his mouth, "I’m not ready for this."
Axel didn’t pull back completely. His hand stayed at the small of my back, his lips close, but he didn’t press for more.
"You kissed back," he murmured in a husky voice filled with restraint. "Don’t act like you didn’t feel that."
I did. Gods, I did. That was the problem. I couldn’t deny the matebond and the feelings, gods!
My jaw tightened. "I didn’t say I didn’t feel anything. I said, I’m not ready."
My voice was firr now. My fingers, still clutching his shirt, slowly loosened. Astra snarled in frustration, but I forced her back—clenched my teeth and shoved that wild instinct into a locked space deep in my mind.
Axel drew back slightly, just enough to look into my eyes. The fire was still there in his gaze, but it had tempered. Barely. "I can wait," he promised.
I didn’t trust that answer. Not from him. Not with the way his thumb stroked my lower back like he was marking with each slow caress.
"No more gas, Axel." My voice regained its edge. "You don’t get to seduce answers out of ."
He grinned—damn him—like I’d said sothing amusing. "You didn’t give answers." And he leaned closer again, his lips brushing my temple this ti. "You gave confirmation."
I shoved at his chest—not hard enough to push him away, but enough to break the contact. "If you want to talk, then talk. If all you’re after is who kissed and when, find a wall and punch it."
Axel tilted his head, his grin fading into sothing more serious. "You think that’s all this is?"
"I know you," I snapped, though my heart was still slamming in my chest, still aching from the kiss we’d shared. "You like control. You like knowing where the pieces on the board are. And right now, I’m a piece you can’t predict."
His expression shuttered slightly. A flicker of sothing cold passed through his eyes before he schooled it back into that calm, cocky exterior.
"I never wanted to control you," he said after a pause. "I just wanted you to choose, and hopefully you chose . I’m a better kisser."
My lips parted, but no words ca. I hadn’t chosen. Not really. Not between any of them.
Still, I had enjoyed a kiss from three of them. I glanced away, sha and guilt swirling in my chest like a stormcloud I didn’t know how to escape.
"Then stop cornering like I already did."
Silence fell between us before Axel stepped back finally, giving space, though the warmth of his body lingered for so seconds.
I crossed my arms and bit the inside of my cheek to keep Astra silent.
"I’m going back." I did not need his approval. It was final, and my feet instantly turned.
"Valerie," Axel called behind . His voice was softer now. Almost... unsure. I paused but didn’t look back.
"I’m not sorry," he said. "For kissing you. But I’ll wait. Even if it kills ."
I didn’t answer. I just walked.
He didn’t stop this ti, but with every step away from him, I could still feel the burn of his kiss tingling my lips.
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