The performance had ended, and Hexia had changed back into the clothes she had arrived in, sitting in the dressing room.
A very special emotion lingered in her heart; initially, she had simply intended to imitate the performance of her senior, Luo Fuyu, but in the process, she gradually beca imrsed in it. It was the the and style of the venue, the expectations of the audience, her own understanding of the performance, the atmosphere created together, the subtle guidance of emotions, and the direction after rational analysis that, when combined, ford a sowhat sacred scene.
This special scene and mood brought a gentle impact to the girl, making her savor the experience, wondering what status she had been in even after the performance had ended.
For most people, performing might be nerve-wracking or perhaps very joyful, etc., and not so complicated, but she was always very sensitive to certain changes.
In fact, she had so resistance to performing, which she once thought was due to shyness and embarrassnt, but it wasn't just that; it also stemd from a slight fear and evasion deep in her heart toward this kind of behavior.
To serve with beauty is nothing more than an actor, an internet beggar, a swindler of money, one who sells their art...
These are certain prejudices, yet they are also the thoughts of many people. Traditionally, those who engage in such professions are considered lowly and not fit for public display; girls who flaunt themselves in these trades must also pick up bad habits and get involved in unseemly things. This was the root cause of her inner resistance.
Because of her past timidity and inferiority, she was particularly sensitive to such evaluations and comnts.
But today was different because she was not performing under her own na; she was performing as Luo Fuyu. Even if there would be various comnts afterward, they wouldn't fall upon her, so she didn't have to bear any burdens, which made it easy for her to imrse herself in the performance itself.
Which side was right, then? As far as watching movies and TV shows was concerned, it was extrely normal entertainnt for most people, but once soone close to them engaged in a related industry, they would be deed improper. But it didn't stop there; by extension, anything unrelated to production, anything that entertains the mood, would be considered improper, wasteful, decadent, crooked, not on the right track.
Playing gas, reading casual books, playing with models, doing music.
Does this have any aning, can it make money, is it respectable, is it shaless?
Doing this, playing with this, liking this, only leads to wasting one's studies, wasting ti, not making money; similar words seem to be often heard in life.
It's as if one's life should be like a machine making money, with everything aid at becoming a superior person, only then is one free from any accusation, only then is one perfect.
The formation of this notion is due to that era of scarcity and crisis, when the entire society suppressed entertainnt, making way for production and reproduction.
Being incessantly busy is a status that people take pride in; even if not that busy, one must pretend to be so, must create such an impression, to find solace in their conscience; otherwise, there will be unrest, or they will be despised by others.
He's so idle, he's bound to take a fall in the future. The reason he hasn't succeeded, hasn't improved academically, hasn't made money, is definitely because he's not working hard enough. Look, he even has ti for those idle things.
At first hearing, it seems to make so sense, which is why many people find it hard to refute.
But then the question arises again: what is all this effort for, or this day after day, year after year of busyness? Is it solely for the sake of struggling and getting tired just as before, not daring to have any fun?
If there's no return, if nothing in the situation changes, then what's the value and aning of that effort? Is there an end to becoming superior, to making money?
How much money needs to be made, what position needs to be reached, to allow oneself a little break, a little leisure?
In traditional concepts, all forms of entertainnt are scorned and suppressed; almost anything that makes people happy is sure to be scolded. Only toil and suffering are deed praise-worthy because this is believed to 'temper' a person, to make them 'great'. In reality, however, overly bitter experiences can beco lifelong nightmares for many people, causing them to beco timid and perpetually anxious.
It could even be said that the formation of this concept is precisely due to the psychological trauma suffered by people of that era, who can never forget that pain and thus are extrely anxious about survival; they can't stand to see anyone idle around them. As long as you're not studying or working, sitting at ho playing gas is an unforgivable sin.
So may say that a little entertainnt doesn't hurt after becoming an adult and earning money, but it's not like that. Even if you work year-round with hardly any breaks, even just slightly indulging during rare holidays at ho can attract such remarks.
It's a branding on the spirit, a stereotype that's hard to shake off.
When an issue is vague and irrefutable, it becos a ntal burden, but if one can gradually analyze the roots and causes, it no longer appears as unbeatable as in the past.
Having gradually understood the reasons for her past resistance and avoidance, the tension in Hexia's brow eased slightly.
It was ti to go. She shook her head, ran her fingers through the hair beside her eye, and looked at herself in the mirror. The light grey of her hair gave her an 'understated' vibe, almost like a backdrop, without the strong, striking presence of black, silver, or other colors.
However, she quite liked this 'understated' feeling, being in a corner, unwatched by others, unjudged, relaxed, and natural.
Reviews
All reviews (0)