Hours later, after Evenly’s baby was saved and back, the cottage settled into its peaceful atmosphere, but as the daylight faded, the place grew colder.
Since Evenly was still weak, Belle helped her bathe the twins and dressed them in Angel’s baby winter clothes for the boy and Roseline’s for the girl. She also gave Evenly so of the new dresses Rohan’s father had bought for her the day she woke up.
"Thank you so much," Evenly said, her voice full of gratitude as she watched Belle sitting next to her by the burning stove in the living room.
"You have no reason to thank , Evenly. It’s my pleasure to take care of these little adorable twins," Belle said, holding the baby boy in her arms while her friend fed the girl, who needed nourishnt and extra care after everything she had gone through.
Evenly, having finally gotten the chance to bathe and change herself, could not help but feel thankful. Why wouldn’t she? Only monts ago, she had thought she would lose her little girl, yet the Duke and his son had done sothing to save her. And why wouldn’t she be grateful when Belle had helped bathe the twins, change them, and dress them properly, while she herself got the chance to eat and have a warm cup of blood tea?
It felt wonderful to be clean and fed again after starving in that underground house. Though she had once thought she could never live in a cottage, having grown up in a mansion, spending hours in this one didn’t feel so bad at all. Sitting by the burning stove with Belle after a warm dinner, listening to the howling wind outside, she almost felt completely at peace, until the void in her heart resurfaced at the thought of her children’s father.
She covered the feeling by talking with Belle, who she now realized had no mories of the past yet strangely still acted the sa. If Belle hadn’t told her she lacked her mories, Evenly would never have guessed it.
"You an you don’t rember anything?" Evenly asked again, despite Belle already having told her. It was hard to believe, considering her friend remained so kind to her and there was no awkwardness between them at all, it was just like how they were before.
Belle shook her head. "I don’t. I just let my instincts and heart guide ," she said, turning to look at Evenly. The golden glow of the burning stove lit her face and her red eyes.
Evenly blinked, pulling the blanket around her to cover her daughter properly as she replied, "It’s just that I always thought when soone loses their mories, they beco an entirely different person, with a new personality, because they don’t rember who they once were. But I guess that’s not how it works, you still act the sa. How do you feel, not rembering your past?"
Belle sighed. "Not good, at tis. It’s like there’s an empty space that needs to be filled, but no matter how hard you try, nothing cos, just blankness and pain. I wouldn’t have minded so much if it didn’t make grow distant from... my husband," Belle added the last part softly.
"Tell about it. From what I noticed, you act natural around and the kids. Is it different with Lord Dagon?" Evenly, who would give anything to have soone to talk to and be distracted from the hollow ache inside her, asked, wanting to hear everything her friend had to say about her current condition. Not having mories felt scary.
Belle sighed again. She parted her lips to say it was nothing but stopped herself, realizing that talking to soone who had known her before all this, soone other than her husband and son, might help her sort out her conflicting emotions about her husband.
Earlier that morning, when he had finally awakened after days of being unconscious, she had shut down her thinking and let her heart guide her, letting the longing and the worry she had felt for him while he remained asleep take over. When he had kissed her, it had awakened sothing inside her that couldn’t be nad, but the lingering fear from not rembering still kept her from being completely comfortable with any intimacy.
While they had watched Angel through his vision, he had casually put his arm around her to hold her close. Belle had felt as if she couldn’t breathe properly because she still didn’t feel like his wife or know how to behave in his presence. She was self-conscious about everything, especially herself, because it was hard to believe that a man like him was her husband. She had shifted slightly, putting a little distance between them.
Rohan had been too focused on Angel to notice her discomfort, or perhaps he had simply allowed her to do what made her feel comfortable, because he didn’t put his arm around her again.
Now that he was awake and slowly getting better, resting in the room with their children after dinner, Belle didn’t know how she would live the rest of her days with him, no, she didn’t even know how she would survive just this night on the sa bed, feeling so self-conscious and uncomfortable. It would have been comforting to be told more about her marriage with him, so she could know how to behave around him without avoiding his closeness like a purge. And the only person she believed could give her those answers was her friend, who not only welcod her company but even urged her to share her worries.
Belle didn’t want to burden the vampiress, who had lost her man and had gone through an emotional trauma today, but Evenly seed to be looking for distraction and companionship just as much. She looked willing, almost relieved, to hear Belle out.
Belle looked at her friend before parting her lips to ask, "Was my marriage with him good? Did we... love each other?"
A sudden gust of wind howled outside, brushing against the house as if the winter itself wanted to listen in. A thin draft slipped through the small gap in the window and swept across Belle’s hair. She absently lifted a hand, tucking back the stray strands of hair drifting over her face. Her eyes remain fixed on Evenly, waiting, hoping, to hear what her friend, who had lived with them in their old ho and had seen their life together firsthand, would say about her marriage.
Evenly smiled faintly. "It was one of the best marriages I have ever co across, Belle. You know, there were tis I looked at you two, the way he treats you, and I felt envious. Not in a bad way, of course. It makes one’s heart feel full. He never feels ashad to show the world that you are his wife. If you have any doubt about your feelings or his, I can assure you, you loved him, and he loves you too. There was a ti he..."
Color rushed to Belle’s face, and she ducked her head as Evenly recounted her relationship with Rohan. The more Belle listened, the more flattered she felt in her heart, the familiarity of the monts Evenly described stirring a bittersweet warmth inside her, sweet because it was almost unbelievable that Rohan could be that loving, and bitter because she couldn’t rember any of them, yet strangely felt as if she had indeed lived them.
"...Rav once told that the Duke was a man who didn’t know love or believe in it, but you taught him how to do so. Rav also told ..." Evenly’s voice cracked at the ntion of her own beloved. Belle, lost in her thoughts, looked up to see her friend wiping tears from her eyes.
"I’m sorry. I get emotional whenever I rember him or talk about him," Evenly said, her weak smile tinged with sorrow. "I guess the feeling of losing him is still fresh inside , and every little thing triggers it," she mused, not wanting to make this conversation all about herself. She wanted to tell Belle the things that might help her rember her past with her husband, but she couldn’t bring herself to continue, as so much of what she knew about the beginning of their married life had co directly from Rav, who had loved sharing many things with her at night.
Belle, who sat next to the vampiress, noticed how Evenly’s tears kept leaking from her eyes and how she couldn’t control them anymore. Her face was turning red, and as if her emotions had taken the best of her, she gave up wiping her face and bent her head, a palm pressed against her forehead as she swallowed hard.
"Oh God, I... I am becoming an emotional ss again..." she muttered.
Belle put a hand against her shoulder, squeezing it with tender reassurance. "It’s fine, Evenly. It’s not easy to forget soone you love. Rav must have ant so much to you, which will make it so hard to forget."
Evenly’s eyes shimred with more tears. "H-he does... more than I thought he did. I... I can’t even m-ntion his n-na without... without crying. W-will... this p-pain ever s-stop..." She could no longer form words, her voice breaking apart completely.
Belle leaned closer and wrapped her arm around her, holding her sideways. Evenly rested her head against Belle’s shoulder, feeling Belle’s fingers rubbing softly along her arm as if trying to soothe her, grounding her with quiet warmth.
It took a while for Evenly to stop crying and for her emotions to beco steady again. With her head still against Belle’s shoulder, she looked down at her daughter, who had released the nipple and was looking up at her, her brown eyes more open now and less watery.
"She’s going to be a beautiful girl," Belle comnted, also looking down at the little baby. "Have you thought of nas for them yet?" she asked, not wanting to return to any conversation that might make the vampiress break down again.
Evenly sniffed, wiping away the tears on her cheeks. "Yes... their father already had ideas of nas picked. We once decided that if we had a girl, we would na her Arielle, and if we had a boy... we would na him Aryen."
"They are lovely nas," Belle mused, to which Evenly gave a small, bitter chuckle.
"They are. He didn’t even know we would have twins and just randomly suggested the nas one night. When I asked him why those nas, he said they were nas of characters he read in the very first book he ever learned to read. I liked the nas too..."
Her gaze fell to the babies through blurred vision, and a faint, bittersweet smile brushed her lips despite the lingering grief. "Since we are gifted with twins, I reckon they deserve to be nad after their father’s favorite characters... Arielle and Aryen, our little sunshines."
Reviews
All reviews (0)