"...Hexael, what do you want?" I question while I’m in the girls’ bathroom with Hexael, who called my attention, because of him I had to leave the library and now I’m sitting on the toilet in one of the stalls talking to him to avoid drawing attention.
"Don’t be so an hihihi, I just ca to see why you haven’t been up to any mischief even though you need it so much," Hexael says with a little smile.
"..." I just bite my lips, he’s right, I owe him, and besides, I need to get stronger, but that’s where the problem lies, I don’t know what to do and how far I can go with this.
If I do mischief, I might cross a dangerous line, but I don’t know where that line starts and ends, and bullying at school is difficult because I don’t want rumors about to spread and for Ayane to hear about it.
But it’s also hard to do nothing, Ayane is getting stronger and soon more monsters will appear, but I’m stagnant in the sa place.
I have several ideas about what to do, but without being sure of how far to go, it’s problematic to execute any of them.
However, I think the easiest would be to manipulate Hinata to do the bullying for , I have her secrets and besides, she clearly doesn’t feel comfortable with .
If she does the bullying for , it will be enough for now, but this indirect thod won’t work for more than a month, so the limitations only get worse.
"What’s the problem, Setsuna, indecisive? The false genius doesn’t know what to do now?" Hexael says mockingly.
"...Why are you here?" I say, annoyed, his showing up here can only hinder , it will be even worse if that angel sees Hexael and discovers sothing about that they shouldn’t.
"I have a great proposal to help you. If you want to give a good paynt, why don’t you have a girl from the school get raped by a monster?" He suggests an idea I hadn’t thought of.
"..."
"Think about it, Setsuna, just choose a random girl from the school and guide her to a location that has a monster, then you can just abandon her and let her get raped, or maybe even sold to so place."
"It’s a great act of evil and you won’t have to dirty your hands," Hexael incites the idea, and it is really good.
"I don’t know..."
"Even better, you can save this girl along with Ayane and earn the credit of being a good person."
"I’m in." The idea is great at this point, and I think this isn’t so bad, although I hate this act because of what they did to Ayane, I’m fully willing to use it if it benefits Ayane, I don’t mind being a little hypocritical.
"But it will be on my terms, Hexael, I want a full guarantee that nothing permanent will happen to the girl." After all, this girl, after being rescued, will forget everything, so she will be left without any consequences.
"Also, you need to keep inford, I don’t want to be discovered by the magical girls’ base as the culprit," I tell him the obvious, if they find out, it won’t be worth doing all this.
"You’ll only have to do this once, Setsuna, after all, it’s just a current problem that can easily be removed."
"..."
"Any problem, Setsuna?" Hexael asks with a little smile.
"It’s a contract, isn’t it?" I question.
"Yes, I’ll do exactly as per your terms, I’ll arrange a weak monster that won’t hurt the girl, I’ll make sure no one else finds or sees the location, and I’ll ensure that only you and Ayane find this girl."
"..." He’s basically saying that if I’m going to be bad, he doesn’t mind helping, but sothing doesn’t seem quite right.
"No extra tricks? The girl won’t lose anything, right?"
"No, I promise that nothing extra will happen to the girl’s body, she’ll just be raped, rescued, and then forget everything, nothing more, in fact, I think I can even do better."
"I can arrange for so monster that indirectly controls other people, so the one who will use the one you choose will be a human and not a monster, this ensures that she won’t be hurt in any way, how about that?"
"...Okay, too good, Hexael..." Hexael is a strange person, he’s so suspicious all the ti that I never know when he’s being honest or when he’s blatantly lying to .
Because if you think logically, it’s obvious that any big evil thing I’m going to do, he’ll be willing to help with, since that makes exactly what he wants to be.
But that’s exactly why I can’t know if I’m being deceived, or if he’s just doing it for the sake of doing it without caring much about it.
And him being a cat makes it even more difficult since I can’t even read his expression or what he’s really feeling at the mont.
"Setsuna, you won’t back down like a coward, right? The chance is there, there are only advantages, you’ll be doing an evil deed, you’ll gain Ayane’s approval, and the person you choose won’t even rember what happened, isn’t it perfect?"
"...Hexael, have you ever heard the saying [Beware of shortcuts to knowledge]?" I tell him, and he shakes his head in denial.
"It ans you should never accept sothing suspiciously perfect without questioning it, sotis that ’shortcut’ is a much worse path than the normal one."
"And that’s exactly what your actions now seem to be, and the worst part is knowing exactly that I need to do this, if I don’t do this idea, I’ll have to think of sothing else, and I’ll be trapped in this loop of right and wrong."
This idea of Hexael’s is good because no one will end up suffering. Ayane will beco more confident by saving soone, I’ll fulfill my agreent and beco stronger, and the raped person won’t even rember anything in the end, it’s sothing simple, quick, and easy, but it’s so easy that it’s suspicious.
"Rember, Setsuna, you can also gain power through lust, but I never see you touching yourself or having any sexual thoughts of any kind," Hexael cites one of the ways to gain power.
"...Yes..." I can gain power this way, but it’s not an easy form, I don’t feel excitent for anything other than Ayane, and the masturbation I tried once and was interrupted was the only ti I’ve ever tried and never touched myself that way again.
Because if I touch myself, it will be with thoughts of Ayane, and although this may generate so pleasure, it seems kind of pointless.
"So how about I make you have hallucinations?" Hexael asks.
"...Why the hell do you think I’d want to hallucinate about sothing?"
"I don’t know? Setsuna, you’re a strange person, wouldn’t you like to feel Ayane’s touch or see Ayane in front of you?"
"No, and don’t even think about doing that to , I’ll go along with this plan of yours, I think I can convince Hinata to go to the location you ntioned."
I’m already annoyed with this situation that has gone from sothing serious to sothing ridiculous. What I do with my body and my mind are my choices, what’s so great about touching yourself in any way? I’ve never gone too far, but it can’t be that good.
"Hahaha, sure, do that then, I’ll look for a suitable monster to see if I can use it to our advantage, and don’t forget, Setsuna, vices are easier to catch now hihihi," He says, disappearing in a black mist, ntioning vices out of nowhere.
"..." I feel strangely dirty, and it bothers , I don’t know why, maybe it’s because I compare myself to Ayane, I know how pure Ayane is, for her, a kiss would already be sothing very embarrassing.
Now, for , none of this seems like a big deal, I’m not lustful, but I’m not as pure as her, and this comparison weighs heavily on my heart.
"..." I feel a bitter taste in my mouth while I’m in the bathroom stall, I think about the past, I’ve felt this strange bitterness several tis before, it actually happened with an annoying frequency.
It happens when I compare myself to Ayane, I never see myself as enough, in fact, I feel more and more distant from everything, as if I’m an isolated anomaly in the world.
Ayane is so pure and bright, she fits in anywhere, and everyone who knows her always likes her, but I’m a gloomy person, I don’t understand the limits and can’t act without seeming arrogant, cold, or apathetic, I can only use a mask and pretend to understand.
This makes my heart ache, since childhood I’ve always felt this way, I can’t tell if it’s envy of Ayane or self-aversion, but whenever I compare myself to her, I feel this bitter feeling of being inferior in everything.
And now that I’m a woman, it seems to be getting even worse, now we are more identical than in the past, now we have the sa gender, and this just makes it more apparent how distant we are from each other.
To everyone, I’m like an unreachable beautiful flower that only serves to be admired, but is useless in other aspects, while Ayane is like the sun that illuminates everything, being useful to everyone even if she can’t be observed all the ti.
It’s ridiculous how we just keep getting further and further apart, she is a source of joy and I a well of unpleasant coldness.
"...No...it’s all Hexael’s fault, he’s amplifying bad feelings...I’ll stop thinking about this..." I murmur to myself, I’ve always felt this way, but I don’t think it was this bad, it must be because of Hexael’s nonsense in influencing my feelings for the worse.
And it must also be why he ntioned vices, now that bad feelings are amplified, it must be easier to beco addicted to sothing, no matter how small.
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