Kathy was still rooted to the ground and Sprout was having the ti of his life at this festival, trying to free this strange woman from the ground.
Fate was eating at a food stall with Ruby and Amara when he saw Ghost dragging Maria into the fair, holding her ear. Maria was crying out loud.
"Let go! Who are you? If I’ve done anything to offend your man, I’m sorry! I was only doing what I was paid for."
Maria was led right up to the now green moat with thousands of Carnival Fish floating in it dead, surrounding Shadow Spire Citadel. To the shock of everyone present, Ghost tossed Maria into the water.
*Splash*
Maria started to sink to the bottom of the moat, causing Fate to crack a joke.
"Ha ha! It looks like Maria can’t float on water because she has been hollowed out too many tis."
As the proper flunkies that they are, Sir Cut-n-Run and Sir Moo-Rlboro showed up behind Fate wearing sunglasses and suspiciously modern hats. Sir Cut-n-Run said,
"Aw yea girl, you just got burned!"
Then Sir Moo-Rlboro said to Maria,
"Damn girl, you’re just like a bathroom open for anyone to do business in."
Sprout joined the fun as he covered his mouth with his hand and said the classic line,
"Oh shit!"
The audience, as the jealous broke losers that they are, started to shit talk Fate.
"Fate Grimsever, you big bully! How dare you treat a lady like that? Don’t you have any sha dirtying the water even more by throwing her into it?"
The person who said this was quickly slapped on the back of the head as another person said,
"You idiot, you’re supposed to shit talk Fate, not insult the lady. How many tis have we been over this?"
The heckling mob looked at this new guy when one of them said,
"Who let this noob into our heckling club? We have professional standards that must be maintained at all tis. We only hate and talk bad about Fate Grimsever. It’s in the international Heckling charter. Soone better explain what’s going on here."
Fate was shocked by what was happening in front of him.
So, is the reason why everyone who is not a noble or a person of interest in this ga hate because they are a mber of this heckling club that they are talking about?
Fate was further shocked when another group made themselves known to Fate as another NPC spoke in the crowd, surrounded by his own group of people.
The man said to the Heckling Club leader,
"You Heckling Club bastards only want to bad talk Fate Grimsever while we, the mbers of The People’s Liberation Front, plan to overthrow that tyrant with the help of Count Victor Dupont and the other proud nobles of The Southern Hampshire Plains. While all you losers are doing is sitting here on your butts bad mouthing the duke. Count Dupont has already secured the support of the rchants in the city who are being oppressed by his terrible taxes. Even Bishop Gary Oldman is supporting the Count with troops and healers from the church. Civil war is imminent, but what do you fools do? Just shit talk Fate Grimsever all day long."
Fate saw these idiots arguing about the best way to get rid of him as he walked back up onto the stage and rejoined Ruby and Amara.
Fate looked at Ruby and said to her,
"It seems like those nobles want to try and create a civil war, Ruby. Perhaps we should do sothing about that."
Ruby shook her head and said with a knowing look in her eyes,
"Fate, don’t worry too much. Count Victor Dupont is nothing our forces can’t handle. Besides, we invited him and his companions to the eting of the lords that is only a few days away from now. I’m sure you can make that man see reason over a good al."
Fate continued to watch these two social clubs talk about ways to kill him with a smile on his face. This world only keeps getting more and more fun. Perhaps at so point soon he will be able to show off a few of the skills his Phoenix bloodline has given him.
Fate wondered if he should go ahead and rob so of the opportunities that Nimrod would gain during his ti at Bloomspire Academy that would end up making him stronger.
More candy is always better, but in reality, Fate already has the greatest gift that this world can give him: a growing harem of overpowered wives.
What Ruby did not tell Fate was that for these nobles, this would truly be their last supper.
In the background, the hollowed-out Maria used a pair of shoes she found in this moat to float back to the surface. She was able to inflate them with her own breath, considering how good she is with her mouth. Maria called out to everyone present,
"Hello, can soone please get out of this moat? This water has a funky taste I have not experienced in a few weeks. It’s not the worst I’ve tasted before, but it’s still pretty bad."
Maria noticed that Fate and his two won were just standing on a stage while pointing at her and laughing.
One of the bystanders enjoying this festival saw Maria and, in an effort to score so poontang, he jumped into the moat to rescue her. He figured that all of the Carnival Fish looked dead, so what was the worst that could happen?
Before this innocent poon hunter knew what happened, his skin began to lt off of his bones along with his muscles, and within seconds, he was reduced to bone soup as he died silently, as many n do in search of the elusive poontang.
Maria saw the man coming to rescue her and even thought about rewarding this handso man tonight if he could afford the cost, that is. But then she saw him begin to lt in the water.
Maria, as if not shocked by this developnt, said out loud,
"Damn, that’s the third guy this week this has happened to."
Fate saw all of this and then, looking at Ruby and Amara, they had their jaws hit the ground at this mont in astonishnt.
Fate was not surprised by this much. Back on Earth, Fate was sure that Maria would be responsible for the spread of a disease comparable to the black plague that wiped out two-thirds of the world’s population.
Fate suddenly had a great idea. Looking at Ruby, he said,
"Dammit Ruby, we can’t let that great moat water go to waste, so be sure to send so to Prince Nimrod Bloodsworn as a gesture of goodwill from ."
Fate smiled. He was sure it would not kill that cockroach-like hero, but it would send him to the bathroom for a few days.
Reviews
All reviews (0)