I just lay there on the bed, staring at the key I had left on the side table.
…
Nothing happened.
…
I didn’t think about it in the mont, but when I ca into the inn and Daleia saw , nothing happened to . She just… spoke for a bit and then gave the key to the room. I didn’t even tell her that I wasn’t able to get into the room; she just did it for .
…
The more I thought about it, the more I started to realise that ever since leaving Casgolau, nobody had really done anything to . I t Joran, Elwyn, Daleia, and Elenia, and none of them did anything more than try to talk. I even showed Elenia my hair, and all she did was complint … Even Cattleya, who showed up out of nowhere, did nothing more than talk.
…
I don’t understand…
These were all things that had already happened. There weren’t any questions left to ask, yet I still just couldn’t understand what made them different. But there must have been sothing that had changed. It didn’t make sense otherwise.
…
“I… really don’t know anything,” I muttered to myself as I rolled onto my back and stared up at the ceiling.
I imdiately thought back to two years ago when I first saw a wooden ceiling above my head. The sheer panic that overwheld , the fear that I wouldn’t be able to escape. Yet now, even though I was looking up at an unfamiliar ceiling, I didn’t feel anything at all. No panic, no fear, no sadness… no happiness… no relief… just… nothing.
‘Kierra?’ Ovia’s voice peeled away from my thoughts as it echoed inside my mind.
‘Ovia?’ I replied.
‘You know… If you don’t know sothing… you can always ask . I might not know the answer to everything, but I’ll definitely try! I’m sure it would be easier if you had more than one person thinking about it.’
…
I know you would.
But I also know you can’t answer all of my questions…
…
‘Kierra?’ Her voice once again pulled out of my own thoughts.
‘Mm.’
‘So… um… if there is sothing you want to know about right now… maybe I can help? It doesn’t even need to be your wish.’
All my questions from before rushed through my mind, but I knew that no matter what, I couldn’t ask her most of them. Even ignoring the question of my past, she wouldn’t be able to tell what I like or who I am. But I really didn’t want to turn her down, not when she was reaching out to like that. There was just sothing about her voice that made want to give in, even if I couldn’t say exactly what that thing was.
…
‘Then… what happened with Cattleya’s teeth?’ I eventually asked after trying to co up with a question for far too long.
‘Cattleya?’ She repeated, ‘Oh, I rember her… I think she’s a… um… vampire? At least, I think that’s what they were called…’
‘You think?’
‘I… don’t know much about them. I know they have fangs and need to drink blood, but that’s all… They only appeared recently. I think Ellaria might know more about them!… But she left already…’
Sothing a Goddess doesn’t know about?
But… vampire…
Why do I know that word?
It was a strange feeling. I just knew that I had heard the word before, but not where. It didn’t make any sense; how could I know about sothing that even a Goddess doesn’t know much about?
‘Ask sothing else!’ She then shouted, ‘I’m sure I can answer more for you even if I wasn’t able to give a good answer this ti! I just… I want to help!’
…
‘Thank you,’ I replied, in part because I was genuinely grateful for what Ovia was doing, but mainly because I wasn’t able to co up with another question quickly enough.
…
On a whim, I took the fox pendant out from beneath my shirt and looked over it. The gemstone within only held a small sliver of silver light, showing just how long it would be before I would actually be able to see her again.
“What am I doing?” I mumbled as my thoughts gradually went back to what had happened in the day.
I just shouted at Ava and ran away…
Why did I do that? She didn’t do anything.
I knew that.
It’s my fault that I couldn’t answer her question…
…
I didn’t need to do that.
I let the pendant slip out of my hand and fall against my chest as I tried to clear my head. Unfortunately, before I was able to take the ti to relax into my pillow, Umbra jumped up onto my stomach, making splutter a little as all the air was forced out of my lungs.
“*Yip!*”
“Oww…” It was the only sound I was able to muster as I strained myself to lift my head up enough to see what Umbra was doing, “You didn’t need to-”
My words imdiately got stuck in my throat as I saw what Umbra had brought out. Laying on top of the pendant was a piece of paper with a small painting on it. There were three people in it, but my eyes were only drawn towards one, a tall woman with bright purple hair and clear blue eyes.
“Mom…”
I turned the paper over and saw the other painting of a fox, crow, and bear all huddled together, and I imdiately realised that there was one question that I really wanted to ask Ovia. Sothing that only she could tell .
“You always seem to know what I need,” I reached out to give Umbra so pats in thanks.
‘What’s Mom doing at the mont?’ I asked, ‘You said you would watch over her.’
‘Yes! I have been! Just um… give a second, and I’ll check what she’s doing right at this mont,’ She imdiately replied.
She said that she had sothing to do, but… maybe she’s already finished…
…
Maybe she’s coming over here…
I…
‘Okay, I’m looking at her now,’ Ovia interrupted that thought, ‘At the mont, she’s hiking through a forest with a small group of people. She’s at the front, leading the way for the others.’
…
‘Do you know which way she is going?’
In that mont, I felt a flicker of excitent deep down in my stomach; however, it didn’t last for very long as Ovia gave her answer.
‘She’s heading further inland…’ I could tell from her voice that she also knew that it wasn’t the answer I really wanted to hear.
‘But she’s safe?’ I asked in an attempt to hide how I was actually feeling.
‘Yes, of course she is!’
‘Then… that’s good enough…’
I wasn’t even talking; it was just my thoughts, but despite that, I felt so small tears start to fall down my cheeks, which I quickly wiped away with my sleeve. Not that there was any reason to; there was no one to see them apart from Ovia and myself.
‘Can you send her a ssage?’ I already knew that it probably wasn’t possible, but if there was even a chance.
‘No… I can’t…’ Ovia admitted.
‘That’s… alright… At least I know she’s safe… that she’s still out there… sowhere.’
Umbra cuddled up under my arm as I looked over the picture once again, this ti focusing on the other two people. Ava and… myself.
“What changed?”
It was the only question that left my lips. I knew that things were different now, that the way I was acting was different, that the things I was thinking about were different, that my surroundings were different, that the people were different, but I couldn’t point to what caused it.
Right at that mont, I heard the lock on the door click open and shot up onto my feet. I barely had the ti to slip the painting into my cloak before the door flew open, quickly followed by a bundle of black feathers hurtling my way.
“Kierra!” Ava shouted as she lifted up in a clumsy hug, “You- You’re still- No. No, that’s not what I want to say. Are you okay? I know what you said, but I still just-”
“Ava,” I struggled to speak with how tightly she was holding , “I’m fine… I think.”
“That’s just not good enough. I need to know that you’re okay, not that you just think you’re okay. The last ti you… I just want to make sure,” She said, taking a deep breath every few words, “When you ran away like that, my body just didn’t know what to do. But now that I’m here, I can say sothing. It doesn’t matter what you don’t know; it just ans you have sothing to learn, alright? Just, please don’t run away like that. I know you have that pendant on you, but I just… I don’t even know what I’m trying to say anymore.”
“It’s okay,” I sohow managed to free myself from her grip and landed back down on the floor, “And… I’m sorry… I don’t know why I did that…”
“You don’t need to say sorry for sothing like that. I know I was the one who pushed you too hard. I just got a little worked up and ended up taking it out on you. If anything, I should be the one apologising. If not for that, then for letting you run through the streets by yourself like that… The only reason I was even able to find you was because of- Ahh! I’m doing it again! Kierra, please stop if I start being too much. Be that now or anyti in the future, you need to tell so that I know when to stop.”
But that isn’t what it was.
I just… I had too much on my mind.
It’s my fault. It can only be my fault.
“Is there anything I can do to help right at this mont?” She asked, “Even if it doesn’t answer any of your questions. For example, I could help you sort out your tail. I haven’t done that for a long ti now.”
…
It was true that Ava hadn’t brushed my tail for a long ti now. At so point, I had just started taking care of it by myself and never really gave it any more thought than that.
“I… wouldn’t mind,” I said as I climbed back onto my bed.
“Then what are we waiting for?” She looked over at Umbra, “Umbra, for now, I’ll just need a brush, but keep everything else on hand… or… paw?”
“*Yip!*”
With that, Umbra dived into my shadow and brought out a brush as Ava quickly made herself comfortable on my bed.
“I’m sure you rember how this works. Just lay your tail out in my lap, and I’ll work my magic,” She said.
I didn’t say anything and just did as I was told. Almost imdiately, I felt Ava drag the brush through my tail, pulling at the hairs just a little more than was comfortable.
“Ow,” I let out a small yelp as I felt the brush catch on a small knot.
“It’s been a while since you sat down and really took care of yourself,” She said as she brought the brush through again, “It really has been quite hectic since we got here, but that doesn’t an you can neglect the small things like this.”
“Mm… it has,” I replied.
Ava simply continued to brush my tail, slowly bringing it back to its forr glory. As she did, I couldn’t help but think back to when she first brushed my tail and then bragged to Mom all about it.
Without thinking, I brought the picture out from my cloak and finally found myself able to put so of my thoughts into words.
“I miss Mom…” I muttered.
“And you aren’t the only one,” Ava replied.
She didn’t say anything else, but she didn’t need to. Just being able to say that and then knowing that I wasn’t alone in that feeling… that was more than enough for .
We didn’t do much else the rest of the day; instead, we decided just to have a lazy day and relax. And I must say, we really needed it after everything that had happened since setting out for Haelmor.
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