Volu 1, Chapter 3
During the winter break, I started to show up at Hanamaru Ran Shop more often, because Ayaka was usually working there. Just staying at ho is really boring, anyways.
At first, Ayaka was surprised every ti she saw .
“So you can go out even when you have nothing to do?”
What kind of person does she think I am?
Hanamaru Ran Shop was always very free in the winter, there weren't many custors in the morning. One reason is because it's the new year period. On the other hand, it's because there is a chance that the ran shop is mistaken to be an ice cream shop.
That day, Hiro, Ayaka and I were tasting Min-san's special hemp ice cream. As I had been tasting only salty ran the whole day, my tongue felt much better when it ca in contact with the sweet taste of the hemp and vanilla ice cream. The soup that Min-san makes is now much better than what she made before, but tasting them every day is still very painful.
“Did Toshi contact you after that?”
Facing Hiro's inquiries, Ayaka bit her spoon, knitted her brows and shook her head.
“He didn't even co ho for the new year.”
Does Ayaka know that Toshi was addicted to drugs? From last year's end until this year, quite a few cases of violence occurred in the streets. I heard that the police couldn't make head or tails of what the suspects said, as the drug addicts' addiction of the drug made them suffer when they were in custody. I watch the news every morning and night, and the na Shinozaki Toshi could be seen on the television screen each ti, as he is missing right now.
Ayaka said: “I think my brother is probably at Hakamizaka's place.”
“Is that person Toshi's girlfriend?”
“No, he's a guy! I'm not sure, but I think he's a university student or a researcher.”
It's impossible for brother to have a girlfriend! Ayaka said seriously, which was out of character. Although it was pitiful for Toshi to be said that he could not have a girlfriend, but actually I have the sa sentints. Only Hiro gave a contrasting opinion.
“Really? His weak personality is actually quite suited for being a gigolo. I won't be surprised even if he's staying at so girl's place right now. Actually, I'm more relieved if that's the case.”
“No doubt that it'll be more reassuring if things are so…… But it's impossible! Brother can't wash his clothes and can't cook.”
“Nonono, a gigolo doesn't need to wash clothes or cook.”
“Is that so?”
“Although they're sotis misunderstood, the ones that could do housework are ‘househusbands', not gigolos. Gigolos want won to feel: ‘This guy can't live on without !' so the housework is handled by the won.”
This guy is completely useless.
“Wow, I can't do it if it were . I would probably feel embarrassed for that and give them a hand, finish the cooking and wait for them to co back or sothing like that.”
“That's right, the job of a gigolo is to bring out the motherly instinct in a woman, a normal person isn't competent enough to do all that.”
“That's so wonderful of you!”
It's not wonderful at all, what nonsense is Hiro spouting? He's an incomparably useless scum! Although I was thinking that to myself, I was lazy to correct them, so I continued to eat my hemp ice cream.
“Have you ever thought about marriage?”
“Never!”
“Why is that?”
“Actually I have a person that I truly love in my heart, so I can't marry other won.”
“But then is it okay for you to live together with them? Don't you feel that you're doing sothing wrong on the girls?”
“I feel that I'm wronging them as well, but I couldn't change it, this is my lifestyle.”
“Go to hell!”
“That won't do, Fujishima-kun, you spoke out the things that you are thinking about again.”
Ah, it's true, but never mind.
“Did you guys just ntion Hakamizaka?”
A voice ca from behind us. I turned over my head, and saw a person wearing a square, fur hat like those worn by the Alaskan soldiers, and a plump waterproof outer coat used in the army. I only recognized after a while that that person was Major. The goggles-styled sunglasses completely covered up his eyes, making them seem as if they're a part of his face.
“Ah! Mukai-san, it's been a while, happy new year! What would you like to order today?”
“I'm on duty right now.”
“What about the Chinese Garlic set?”
“Hmmm…… Okay then!”
Why did Major order sothing so obediently? And also, what is the Chinese Garlic set?
It was like Major couldn't handle Ayaka. Among the people that I know, only Ayaka calls Major by his na. Every ti when I hear it, I thought to myself: Who is Mukai-san?
“Finally there's so work to do! Min-san, one Chinese naengmyeon, with added garlic!”
Ayaka stood up and rushed into the kitchen. Eating naengmyeon in this cold weather? Major looked as if he had just swallowed a live toad, and sat down on the gas tank that Ayaka was sitting on just now.
Hiro asked Major: “Major, did you know the person called Haka-sothing?”
“I think there's a person called Hakamizaka at the research centre of our school.”
Hiro and I were taken aback and looked at each other. Hiro leaned forward and continued:
“We've heard that Hakamizaka is the person who's hanging out with Toshi lately.”
Major pressed his hand against his chin and thought for a while.
“Do you know him? Then try to make so inquiries!”
“No, I've just heard about his na. He's really famous! They say that he doesn't even show up at the research centre, but his PhD thesis went through. But they might just have the sa na, right? Why would Toshi hang out with this kind of people?”
“Haka-sothing isn't a na that every Tom, Dick and Harry has! Toshi didn't contact us much lately.”
“But I've just went to the school once today, do you want to go again? There's professors and students everywhere!”
Of course there's professors and students in a university! But Major is actually a university student! This point really surprised .
“The professors just nag to death whenever I show up.”
“Then just leave school earlier!”
“What are you talking about? For the sake of barely staying in school, I strive to get credits that are barely enough to pass, and then skip classes, maintaining the state of not going to the next level or graduating, waiting for eight years to pass then leave school automatically.”
“…… Don't you want to graduate?” I actually asked him that.
“Am I still considered a NEET if I graduate normally from university? Don't you know what the second E in NEET ans?” Seeing you screaming blue murder about things like this, I'm having a headache too.
“Major goes to university for the sake of searching for information.”
“That's because history books and military information is not cheap! Letting the school library buy it is the best plan. I just ask the library to buy books for before I leave school, until the whole room is filled with the books that I want to read, and then the room would be called the Major room.”
Just buy it yourself if you want to read it! What a troubleso student.
“That's right, let tell you, the books that are in this ti are about battle submarines that can emit signals!”
“Oh yeah, Major, didn't you go to school because of Alice's request?”
Major opened the bag and turned it upside down, and the papers inside fell out onto the crate that we used as a table.
“You guys want to see the photocopied information, huh? You're holding that upside down.”
“I don't understand this.”
“I, myself, don't understand it as well.”
I went over to look at the papers that Hiro was holding, the color photocopied paper had a tall, red flower on it, and words were closely packed around the plant.
“You know that drugs are running rampant in the streets right now, right? This is what Yondai requested Alice to investigate. I've heard that it isn't anything good. Toshi wouldn't be taking these, would he……”
I was taken aback, and thought of the pink pills that were used to block the twinkling lights of the Christmas decorations, which had wings of angels and two English letters on it. After taking the pills, he claid that it was a legal dication that could make things ‘look as if they're not moving'. What was its na again? What was it called? It was at the tip of my tongue, but I still couldn't rember it.
“Ah, that is……”
“Mukai-san, sorry for the wait.”
Ayaka served Major his naengmyeon, interrupting my words. I swallowed back what I was about to say, because I didn't want Ayaka to hear it. Hiro showed a confused expression and tilted his head. I hastily shook my head.
“What is it?” Ayaka ca over to look, and I speedily snatched the paper from Hiro's hands and turned it over.
“That's so bad of you! What are you hiding, Fujishima-kun?”
“Nothing! Nothing at all.”
At this mont, a custor finally appeared in the shop. Ayaka hurriedly put on her apron and went to serve him, allowing to heave a sigh of relief.
“What is it? What's with you, Narumi?”
Just as I was about to answer, the blaring ringtone of ‘COLORADOBULLDOG’ rang in the shop. Major's skinny body jumped almost a ter high, while Hiro hurriedly took out his phone, but Major was faster.
“I know that you're here, so don't talk rubbish with the others downstairs. Hurry up and get here! It's urgent! And Hiro, hurry up and drive the car to the front, quick!”
Even I could hear Alice's voice at the other side of the phone clearly, showing how painful Major's ears are right now. As Major was about to answer her, she hung up.
“Alice is also in a bad mood today, huh?” Hiro raised his head and looked at the worn-out building behind him.
“Don't you know? Every twenty nine days, Alice would get into a ntally unstable state for five days, this is the result of my detailed investigation so it can't be wrong. As for the reason, I'm still not sure of that.”
Isn't the reason obviously because of the girls' period? But seeing Major triumphantly speaking of all that to Hiro, I couldn't tell that to them.
“Every twenty nine days, so today is the second day.”
“I'll go drive the car over here. What would be the matter, I wonder?”
Hiro left, leaving a silent Major. I tilted my head. Alice isn't that scary, is she? She seed like she's in a bad mood everyday, anyways! After I said that, and was fiercely glared at by Major, whose eyes were hidden beneath the goggles.
Finally, Major said seriously:
“Do you know vice-admiral Jisaburo Ozawa? He's the last Commander in Chief of Combined Fleet of the Japanese Navies.”
“Never heard of him.”
“Then don't you know about the naval battle that occurred during the Second World War at Leyte Gulf, Phillipines? It is considered to be the largest naval battle in the world, and Vice-Admiral Ozawa used his team as bait to lure the enemy away , and successfully shifted the attention of the Arican forces away from Leyte.”
“Ah?”
“So we're counting on you, Vice-Admiral Fujishima.” Who's the vice-admiral? “Let's et at the Yakusuni Shrine!”
“Refused!”
*
In the end, I went with Major. As soon as I stepped into Alice's room, I saw her curled in her blanket, looking as though she was going to cry.
“Mocha Bear's ear has fallen off!”
A huge, tea-colored teddy bear was placed at the front of the bed. No matter how you look at it, it was larger than Alice, but that might be because she's too petite. As Alice said, the thread holding together the bear's right ear has burst, exposing the cotton that was hidden in the seams.
“Careful! Carefully place it into the box! Stuff it full of towels! Narumi, don't touch the wound! What if you enlarge the wound!”
Following Alice's directions that were full of yelling and crying, Major and I placed the hurt plushie into a big cardboard box stuffed full of rolled up towels in the seams of the box. The huge, wrapped up box is indeed a thing that couldn't be handled by just a person.
Major asked: “So it'll be okay if we just bring this to Yondai's?”
“Tell him to fix it by tonight, this concerns my life!”
Alice said with tears in her eyes. Why would they hand it to Yondai? How does this concern her life? Questions swirled around in my mind, but the atmosphere does not allow to ask them.
“And here's the information that you asked to find.”
Alice took the transparent file from Major, read it as fast as if she's reading manga, then extracted a portion of the photocopied papers and threw it at .
“What are you spacing out for? Don't you know what to do with this if I didn't tell you to hand this to Yondai as well?”
Major and I fled the room with the box containing Alice's precious bear.
*
Hiro's car was a dark blue, high classed imported car, and doesn't seem to be sothing that could be owned by a nineteen year old guy.
“It's because I'm the only one that has a car, although I didn't buy it myself.”
He explained that it was a gift from his girlfriend, and it was from his ex-ex-ex-girlfriend. This guy would probably get a knife in his chest by a woman one day.
“But driving there is a suicidal action……” I looked at the other side of the railway, which had grand lights lighting up the night skies. There were three roads at the south side of the station, and there were always traffic jams there.
“Speaking of which, just bringing this box over there with this car also counts as a suicidal action, doesn't it?”
I lowered my head and looked at the large box containing the plushie. Hiro had a point. Actually, we could just tie the box at the back of a motorbike and send it there, but Major said that he needed to go back to his school for awhile, and rode the motorbike away. It seed like he wanted to investigate this Hakamizaka guy.
We stuffed the box into the backseat, used the safety belt to keep it still and went back to the front seat.
“Is that bear really that important?”
“Alice can't sleep without it at night.”
“Ah?” Things got that bad, just because of that? “But why are we taking it to Yondai?”
“Ah— about Yondai, he looks fierce and all, but he has an interest in arts and crafts. He helped Alice to fix the plushie once before, and his skill is top notch. That was also the first ti for to see Yondai sewing.”
“Who……”
The car soundlessly drove on the streets. The night view has beco a river ford by streetlights.
“Who on Earth is that guy?”
“Have you ever heard of the Hirasaka-gumi?"
I do have a faint impression of the na, as it would co up between conversations in school.
“Are they a motorcycle gang?”
“Nono, they're not a motorcycle gang. They're just a gang ford from a bunch of kids who like to fight or to follow the crowd in this district, a self-proclaid yakuza gang. Yondai is their leader.”
Hiro said in a casual manner. But even I, who just moved here, know of the existence of the Hirasaka-gumi, so shouldn't they be quite a large organization?
“Is it because Yondai is the fourth generation of the organization that he is called Yondai?”
“No, he's the first leader of the Hirasaka-gumi. He founded Hirasaka-gumi, and so the only person who could control their mbers is him.”
“Eh? Then why is he called Yondai?”
“Because he is the fourth generation in his hotown, Kansai. It seed that he ran away from ho, and that place is where the true yakuza truly lies."
Whoa, really? Then why didn't he just stay ho and be their fourth generation leader?
“He'll get angry whenever soone calls him Yondai, but Alice felt amused about that so she deliberately called him Yondai. That ended up being his nickna between us.”
“You guys really went too far……”
I muttered to myself, and Hiro laughed while patting at the gear he was holding.
“He's even worse than us! But nobody can beat her, no matter if it is Yondai or us, understand?”
I thought of the snow white skin that was like a Japanese doll, large eyes and long hair as black as molasses. I get what Hiro ant, as I couldn't win against her.
“But you should refrain from ntioning this to other people, because Yondai will kill you. Hirasaka-gumi is a self-proclaid chivalrous organization, and are very adamant, so they won't forgive those who misuse drugs.”
I rembered sothing.
“Hiro, do you rember what the drug is called?”
“Nope…… Ah, I've forgotten, it should be written on the information gathered by Major, shouldn't it?”
I skimd through the papers that we were supposed to give to Yondai. The rather complicated chemical equations and content written in professional terms made my head spin. Repeating the sa action, excitent, overly-alert, insomnia, rising blood pressure, sharp ears, slack pupils…… The side-effects of the drug were densely packed on the paper, telling people how dangerous it is to consu it, the na of the drug, which was the most important to , was not written on it.
I hope that it's just my groundless fears.
*
The office of Hirasaka-gumi was situated at a sowhat dirty building, after driving on the slope that was at the left side of the main street in front of the station. The building was just beside the fork on the slope.
We parked the car at the parking lot and took out the box. We went on the cramped elevator that was making a noise like the painful panting of old n, up till the fourth floor. As soon as we walked out of the elevator, we could see the long, straight signboard hung beside the tal door, and the words ‘Hirasaka-gumi” were solemnly written on it. A swallowtail butterfly-shaped logo of the gang was drawn in a round, black fra…… Wait, it shouldn't be the logo of their gang, but the emblem of their organization. I was really freaked out, they aren't really yakuzas, are they? But without even using the doorbell, Hiro straightaway opened the door and went in.
The door in the room was sowhat smaller than the doors in a classroom, and looked even smaller because of the cupboards arranged by the wall, the sofa at the center of the room and the tables. Four or five guys wearing black T-shirts were originally sitting down, but suddenly stood up at the sa ti.
“Second brother, thanks for your hard work!”
“Thanks for your hard work!”
They saluted Hiro. I couldn't help but take a step back, nearly dropping the box in the process. What is with this situation? Second brother?
The people wearing black T-shirts were quite young, at most they're at the age when they've just graduated from high school. They had skin that was dyed into a dark color, bleached hair and had piercings in their ears. They looked just like ordinary young people who would gather at the streets of the street center every night. The only thing different with them is that there was an emblem printed on top of their T-shirts.
Hiro answered: “Don't call that! I've said that loads of tis, don't call second brother.”
“But you and Sou-san are just like brothers. Here, let help you to take your stuff.”
While saying that, Yondai's bodyguard - Rocky placed the box onto the ground.
“Well, forget about it, I've dated quite a lot of girls before, so in so way, I'm a brother to Yondai.” How does that count as being his brother?
“Hiro, you really don't want to live anymore, do you?”
Yondai opened the door to the right and walked out. That day, he was wearing a purple vest, and you can see a tattoo of their emblem on his right shoulder.
“Aren't you here to hand an investigation report? What's with this large box? It isn't stuffed full of reports, is it?” Yondai sat down on the chair behind the table and said lazily. Hiro shook his head and tore away the tape on the box.
“Nono, this is Alice's request. Her doll's ear dropped off and she wanted soone to fix it.”
Hearing Hiro's words, Yondai almost jumped up a few feet, just like a spring. He jumped over the table and leaped in front of in a flash, pressed down the box that was about to be opened, and glared ferociously at Hiro.
“Don't you know that? You can't speak of that thing here!”
“Sou-san, what's in the box?”
“Nothing! Carry the box to my car, and don't look inside. If you look, I'll beat you up until you forget about it!”
Yondai's imposing manner was just like a hurricane, and he threw the car keys to another man. “Yes, sir! I'll go hone my manliness right away!” He picked up the keys and saluted. How could you even hone your manliness while moving a cardboard box anyway?
“This is ane-san's stuff, so we should move it carefully.”
Ane-san would be Alice, right? Did they watch too many strange movies or sothing? The box was taken out by two guys wearing black T-shirts. Did we just do so aningless labor? I raised my head and looked at Hiro. He was laughing sneakily. Oh~ So he deliberately moved it here to annoy Yondai…… He told not to tell anyone, but he himself wanted to tease Yondai.
“You'll have to fix it by tonight.”
“I know! I'll send it there after I fix it.”
Anyhow, he's still a yakuza boss, but he would actually spend the night fixing a doll for a pajamas-clad hikkikomori? It's such a mystery, what the heck is with this situation? I looked at the people in the room, thinking that they would probably be very surprised if they know that, huh?
“Do you know it too? Hiro told you about that, didn't he?”
Yondai grabbed my shirt by the collar.
“Know what?”
“Know that thing! That!” At this mont, I suddenly felt like teasing him.
“Eh? Which matter do you an by that?” “Don't you know it? It's my…… that!” “You keep ntioning that, but how would I know what's that when you don't say it clearly?” “Don't play the fool! Idiot, how could I possibly say it out myself!” “Eh? But I'm not sure, so why don't you just tell the possible answers?” “Narumi, I know that you're very amused right now, but Yondai would be very distressed if you don't stop talking!” “I'll be the one distressed if I stop talking!” “Here's the investigation report.”
Hiro handed Yondai the transparent file, as though nothing happened just now. Yondai tossed to the floor and snatched the folder. “Hey! Get the folder from the hospital.” Yondai commanded. A man wearing a black T-shirt walked into the room and handed us a sea blue folder.
Returning to the other side of the table, Yondai looked at the two folders with a serious expression on his face. Hiro went closer to have a look and asked:
“What's this?”
“It's the symptoms for the people who were hospitalized this month or so for taking drugs, we're investigating that as well.”
“That's quite patient of you…… Oh yeah, you could just compare it with Alice's information.”
“Right…… Hmm, this guy is……” Yondai's finger moved along the information of the drug effects, and then pointed at the papers in the sea blue folder. “…… We guessed correctly. The effects of the drug is too long to be MDMA, while stimulants can't be taken directly, and the patient is young too.”
“Is it Fix?”
Rocky the bodyguard asked while peeking at the side.
“We won't know if we don't ask. He's at N Hospital, so let's go!”
Yondai's words caused all of the black-shirts to stand up and put on jackets. It felt as though the atmosphere in the room changed completely like a light was suddenly turned on.
…… Fix?
The mory of that mont finally surfaced, the carving of the letters A.F at the bottom of an angel's wings. Toshi had said that, angels would not have preferential treatnt on humans.
“…… Angel Fix?”
Because of my mutterings, Yondai fiercely turned around, scaring until I couldn't even straighten my back.
“Why do you know of Angel Fix?”
“Eh…… That, that's because……”
Yondai took hold of my collar, and Hiro answered for with his face green:
“That day I was with Toshi…… That guy……”
“Hey, so the things that Toshi was holding on to were pills? Round ones, you sure?”
Yondai tightly held my collar, and pulled it until it almost couldn't rise up higher. Being caught, I nodded fervently. Hiro took hold of Yondai's hand, trying to pull him away from .
“Stop that! Do you want to kill him? What's with the pills?”
Yondai tossed to the sofa, and I could only cough violently while keeping a hand on the floor for support. Yondai's voice sounded from above .
“Didn't Alice tell you anything? The way of selling Angel Fix was very special, and didn't have any fixed way of selling them. The people who bought them crushed them into powder, and then sold them to other people that they know. It was like they didn't even want to earn money, so we couldn't find the source of the drug. The only thing that we are sure of is, the source of the drug is a person with the round pills.”
Yondai stopped talking for a mont and looked at .
“Is Toshi the person who directly bought the pills, or is he the person who's selling them?”
Putting on the white coat that his lackeys handed him, Yondai swiftly sent orders using a phone. So of them went to the hospital while so of them went to search for Toshi. Yondai and so of his lackeys stayed at the office while the others hastily walked out of it.
“Just go ho, Narumi!”
Hiro pulled at the collar of my sports jacket, and only then did I wake up from my stupor.
“You guys aren't looking for…… Toshi, are you?”
“I don't even know where he is.”
“But……”
If I had noticed earlier……
“What are you dawdling there for? Hurry up and go ho, don't get in our way.”
Yondai's tone was harsh, so Hiro could only drag out by the arms, but my legs didn't move. Shouldn't there be sothing that I can help with? Although I'm not really clear about Toshi's problem, but the person who spoke to him last before he disappeared was . There should be sothing that I can help with.
“There's nothing that needs your help. Hurry up and scram. There's already soone dead because of the drug.”
Yondai answered sternly.
“But……”
It's all my fault, if I caught hold of Toshi properly, all of this would be okay. If only I rembered the na of the drug earlier and discussed it with soone……
“Narumi……”
It looked as if Hiro, who was at my back, was going to say sothing, but was halted by Yondai's raised hand. I felt like I was going to be bitten to death by him, so I could only shut my mouth and lowered my head. The sound of the lackey's footsteps disappeared from the door. I secretly raised my head again.
Yondai was originally standing at the other side of the sofa, but his wolfish eyes suddenly appeared again before . I suffered a heavy punch in the stomach, and could not help but to bend my back, saliva dripping out of my open jaw. Yondai used the hand that he just punched with to support and harshly hurled back to the sofa.
“If that had been a knife, you'd be already dead. Don't be so cocky, kid. A normal person will only get in our way if they get hurt when taking part in an investigation, so you'd better get lost!”
After Yondai walked out of the room, I leant against Hiro's shoulders and stood up again.
*
The sun had already set by the ti we returned to the ran shop. It was as though we could touch the cold air that was accumulated between the buildings. Only the surroundings of the curtains of ‘Hanamaru Ran Shop', which had streetlights shining on it, had so warmth there. I was dumbfounded for a mont while looking at the lights.
Walking to the back door of the kitchen, the silhouette that was sitting on a pile of old tires was Tetsu-senpai, wearing a short-sleeved shirt. Holding a bowl, senpai turned around, and there were only the sounds of him eating ran in the darkness.
“Where's Hiro?”
“He's parking his car.”
I sat down on the worn out tires, and stopped talking. Senpai finished the salt flavored ran together with the soup, then took out a crumpled up pachinko magazine from his back.
Isn't he going to ask about Toshi? Or did he already know but doesn't care? Am I the only one who's like an idiot that thinks that I'm involved in this matter?
“What is it?”
I don't know if he just noticed my gaze, but Tetsu-senpai shifted his attention from the magazine to .
“Do you already know about Toshi?”
“Yondai called just now. Toshi is such an idiot.”
“You guys were…… friends, right?”
“We're friends now, too, as long as he is willing to co.” Tetsu-senpai laughed after saying that.
Then, aren't you worried of him?
The smile disappeared from senpai's face, as though he noticed what I wanted to say.
“That guy didn't co seeking for our help, did he? We don't even know where he is, so we can only stay out of this matter.”
But, I had this feeling - he might have sunk into a seriously helpless state, and that it'd be best if soone could hear his soundless voice. But at least I couldn't do it, I couldn't do anything.
“My eyes exist for the purpose of taking note of the number 7s that lie side by side, while looking for a kid that's addicted to drugs is Yondai's job.”
After saying all that, he sank into his pachinko magazine again.
Was this guy really a boxer……?
I suddenly stood up, and went closer to Tetsu-senpai. Almost at the sa mont that he raised his head from his magazine, I threw a punch at senpai's stomach, and uttered a late sound. My fist was blocked by Tetsu-senpai's large left hand.
“What are you doing?”
Tetsu-senpai didn't sound angry at all. I shaked my head and squatted down.
“…… Tetsu-senpai, please teach boxing.”
“Why do you want to learn how to box all for a sudden?”
“No particular reason.”
I know that I'm just a feeble kid, but I still feel depressed when I know this fact clearly. It can't be helped, I couldn't do anything in reality.
That's right, I should tell Ayaka about what happened to Toshi. But how should I tell her that? While thinking, I looked for Ayaka from the kitchen to outside the shop, but I couldn't see her anywhere.
“Min-san, where's Ayaka?”
I poked my head into the kitchen backdoor and asked. Min-san answered without getting her eyes off her pot on the flas:
“She went ho early just now. She looked like she's very ill, did sothing happen to her?”
Went ho early?
I looked at Tetsu-senpai's face.
“She wasn't here when I ca.”
It couldn't be because she already knew about Toshi taking drugs? It's impossible. Then what could be the matter? Or did she eat the leftover hemp ice cream alone, and then had a stomachache?
I leant my back against the gas tank and squatted down. My mood right now was as though I had been walking around the wrong place and ending up in a dead end, then repeating the sa situation again.
I lowered my head, and the phone in my pocket started to quiver.
“I've heard from Yondai. But let's not talk about how you forgot about such important information first. Where's Ayaka? I couldn't get to her phone.”
Am I imagining things? Alice's voice sounded extrely cold.
“…… It looks like she went ho early because she felt ill.”
“Went ho early, huh? This is bad, she's the only clue for contacting Toshi. The third sester starts tomorrow, right? If you see her in school tomorrow, tell her to call imdiately. Although I don't really think the siblings are in contact……”
At that mont, I recalled the night that Toshi called Ayaka. He said that he was calling from Hakamizaka's phone.
“Why didn't you say so earlier? I've really had enough of your dim-wittedness, I really don't know what to compare your brain to. Comparing to the speed that your brain processes, the speed that stalactites grow at could be considered quicker.”
Being cruelly chided, my whole body almost curled into a ball.
“When was that last call? Try to think of an exact ti.”
“It should be…… Before seven. Why are you asking about the ti?”
“I could find out who they are just by checking the phone log. Since we can't get to Toshi's phone, we would have a breakthrough if we could just find out Hakamizaka's way of contact.”
Checking the phone log? But how?
“But Ayaka said that there's no number displayed.”
“So what? It's just not displayed on Ayaka's phone, but there would still be a record at the telecommunication center!”
How can you check such a thing? Isn't that a cri?
“Aren't you sowhat looking down on NEET detectives?
Alice hung up.
I stared at my cold phone for awhile. Which reminds , I think she said that she's a hacker or sothing like that. She could investigate my file even with Dr. Pepper in one hand, and humming a song through her nose, right? But shouldn't it be impossible for her to investigate the records of the telecommunication center?
It's useless if I worry. The only thing that I could do is to tell Ayaka about Toshi's problem, at least telling her this is my duty. But how should I say it? Your brother is currently addicted to drugs so don't go near him, could I tell her sothing like this?
I don't know. I don't have the confidence to tell her about this.
*
On the day of the opening ceremony, Ayaka didn't go to school. I was worried that she had a bad flu, but she didn't answer the phone when I called. It couldn't be helped. I could only take care of the garden and the plants alone, while ignoring the greenhouse.
Ayaka didn't go to school the next day either. Nor was she there when I went looking for her at the ran shop.
“She doesn't seem like a person who would be absent for no reason.” Min-san knitted her brows. As she was extrely busy serving and washing the dishes, I gave her a hand in washing up the dishes.
The day when I finally saw Ayaka was the fifth day of the new sester, a Friday. I imdiately went to the rooftop after school, and saw a familiar silhouette. With a black armband on her left arm, Ayaka was watering the plants. I was taken aback when I saw Ayaka, who turned her head over. Obviously nothing changed for her, but she looked like soone else for a mont.
“I'm sorry for being absent without a reason.”
“Did you get the flu?”
“Yeah, that's right. It's probably just the flu.”
She gave a faint smile, one that even I knew was fake.
“It seed like you did the club activities properly when I wasn't here.”
“I'm a club mber, after all!”
“Thank you, Fujishima-kun.” Ayaka showed a transparent smile that made people feel helpless. “But if you would put on the armband, I would be even happier.”
“No, that's too embarrassing. Hey! Stop that!”
Ayaka took off her own armband and started to attack , trying to put it on my left hand.
“You must wear it the whole day, that's an order from the club president.”
Ayaka looked really happy that day. She taught a lot of things, like how to prune, pick seeds, types of fertilizers and floriography, until I almost couldn't rember them all. Seeing Ayaka like that, I couldn't help but have an urge to ask her for a few tis: “Did sothing happen to you?” I originally wanted to tell Ayaka about Toshi, but didn't do so as I didn't know how to tell that to her.
Finally, it was already sunset. The clock on the school building opposite to this building said that it was four forty-five. We sat side by side on the railings and looked at the evening sky.
“Do you have any siblings?”
Ayaka asked.
“A sister.”
“Really? How's your relationship with her?”
“Not really good. Recently I kept going ho late, so I kept getting scolded. But sister would always make dinner for , so it's still okay, I guess?”
“Your sister is the only one cooking? What about your parents?”
“My father is only ho for about five days in a year, while my mother's already dead.”
“Ah - sorry.”
“Why is it that whenever I answer that my mom is dead, everyone apologizes to ?” I said. “Why? I'm not even angry. Or is it only normal being angry now?”
“Hmmm…… Hmm?” Ayaka's eyes wandered. “I don't think you need to force yourself to get angry.”
“Really? I don't know what they an by normal.”
“You don't need to feel that you have so kind of handicap!”
“That's because your words made feel handicapped.”
Ayaka laughed dryly.
“That's just a lie. As I don't really know how talk to the others, actually I only wanted to talk to you.”
I felt Ayaka's gaze on my face, but I couldn't turn my face over.
“I didn't go to school when I was in middle school, but just studied at ho. After I went to high school, I just feel that…… feel that I should start over. Until about May or so, I passed my ti at the rooftop during recess and after school. After that, I tried to chat with the others and avoid coming to the rooftop. But I still felt very lonely in my heart, and could only feel happy when I'm gardening.
Ayaka raised her head to look at the setting sun.
“One day, I ca back to the rooftop because of despair, but I found that you were here.”
When did that happen, I wonder? Much earlier than when I noticed Ayaka, she already knew who I was.
“That ti I wanted to look for you and have a talk, but I didn't have a chance. So I moved a few plants to the rooftop and pretended to stay at the rooftop because of club activities.”
I almost couldn't breathe at this mont.
“I'm probably clumsier than you. Although you might not feel it, I'm really thankful to you. So, when spring cos ”
Ayaka stopped and gazed at the soil full of weeds.
When spring cos?
What on Earth was the matter? Ayaka's really strange today. Saying all these things that make people feel uncomfortable, sothing DID happen, right? I must ask her about this.
But as I was about to speak, there was a sound that indicated that soone was opening the door to the rooftop.
A person wearing a pale green coat and unforgettably long hear appeared at the door. It was the consultant teacher for the Gardening Club - Sayuri-sensei (since everyone calls her by her na, I don't know what the teacher's surna is).
“Ah, both of you are here.”
Wearing high-heeled shoes, Sayuri-sensei ran unsteadily while waving at us.
“Shinozaki, did you take leave because of flu?”
“I'm okay already.”
Ayaka showed a nervous smile while saying.
“Really? Then that's great. That's right, you should clear the plants at the rooftop.”
Ayaka frowned and said: “Are there going to be any activities there?”
“The group photo for the graduation yearbook. I've heard that we would assemble at the rooftop, and the photo would be taken from above on a helicopter.”
Sayuri-sensei looked around the rooftop.
“But there are so many weeds here, we can't just have you two clearing them.”
As sensei has said, the weeds occupied the whole rooftop just by growing in the cracks in the floor.
She took out a tape asure and started to asure the size of the rooftop. There are about two hundred people or so graduating from our school (it's actually rare for a school in this district to have so many people graduating). Would the rooftop be enough for that many people?
“That's right, it's already the season for graduation. Ti really flies.”
After Sayuri-sensei left, Ayaka said in a lonely tone:
“But there's no problem if Fujishima-kun is here. We're going to recruit a lot of new mbers next year!”
Ayaka looked at the black armband on my arm, and I nodded silently.
Until much later, I still rembered what Ayaka said that ti - what did that an?
Does she an that she's okay if she's with ?
Or - does she an that it's okay if it's just ?
“So, Fujishima-kun……”
Ayaka hesitated, staring at my face. That was the first ti, and the last ti, that Ayaka hesitated when speaking to . That was obviously an unusual situation, why didn't I notice it? Why?
But Ayaka gave , who was confused, a smile and shook her head.
“Sorry, it's nothing.”
*
The club activities ended for that day. After that, we went to the ran shop together. Ayaka was harshly scolded by Min-san for being absent without a reason, so she broke a pile of bowls due to being overactive.
When I was trying the abnormally bitter mocha ice cream, Tetsu-senpai, Major and Hiro appeared, which was quite early for them.
Hiro said: “We visited the hospital just now.”
“Visited the hospital?”
“One of the kids in Yondai's organization got stabbed. He found the source of the drug, but that guy had a knife and he started to crave for his drug.”
“Then……”
“Anyhow it's fine if he's okay. He was my kouhai, too.”
Tetsu-senpai sat on the ladder and sighed.
“Now Hirasaka-gumi is murderously searching in the streets, so if Toshi is also a drug dealer……”
Senpai sneaked a peek at Ayaka who was in the kitchen, lowered his volu and said:
“He'll probably get caught soon.”
Major told us: “It looks like Hakamizaka really is a researcher from our school.” “Alice is on that trail, so we could probably catch him soon.”
I sneaked a peek at Ayaka too, thinking that I don't need to force myself to tell her about Toshi seeing as we'll find him soon. I consoled myself that way, and didn't want Ayaka to worry on the other hand.
I just hope Toshi coincidentally got the drug from soone, and then was addicted.
“Good. Before Toshi cos back, let's just teach Narumi first.”
“Let's start from playing dices!”
Eh? How did things turn up like this?
But I could not refuse as I was surrounded by Tetsu-senpai, Hiro and Major. It was actually the first ti that I was forced to gamble money in a ga of dice. In the end, senpai owed about two hundred and seventy thousand yen. Senpai who lost all of his money said to halfway: “Although I don't have any money left, I'm still going to bet ten thousand!”, or “I can't pay all that anyway, so I'll add twenty thousand!” What a ridiculous person.
*
On the way ho, I walked to the busstop with Ayaka, but still couldn't say anything. When we walked past the bridge, the bus coincidentally passed by us. Ayaka hurriedly chased the bus, and waved at .
I could still rember clearly Ayaka's face at that mont.
That was the last ti that I saw Ayaka's healthy smile.
*
In the cold air of the Tuesday morning, soone found Ayaka collapsed at the garden in front of the school building. The teachers and students from the sports clubs ford a wall of humans, surrounding the blood that was splattered on the cent ground. Ayaka's upper body was collapsed on her garden that she tended to for ten months. She had a pale, green face and reddish black marks could be seen clearly below her open eyes, making her look like she's in the battle clothes of the natives.
The girls turned their head around and threw up. Although the teachers were desperately shooing away the students, the crowd was still there. I also stood in the wall of humans, faintly hearing the sound of an ambulance getting closer.
I kept staring at Ayaka's small body being moved to a stretcher, until the white car swallowed her up and left. The sound of the ambulance rang again. I rushed to the parking lot for bicycles, opened the lock like I was going to break it, got on my bike and rushed out.
I chased the ambulance that was rushing out to the road, the freezing wind scratched my ears, as if it's going to cut my ear off.
I don't really rember what happened after I reached the hospital. I rember the white walls of the corridors, the lit light on top of the door of the surgery room, stretchers going here and there, and the footsteps of the nurses.
Ayaka was sent directly to the ICU room straight after she went through surgery, while I was kicked out of the hospital. A crowd wearing familiar uniforms was gathered at the entrance, even though it was so late.
“Fujishima, how is Ayaka?”
“Has the surgery finished?”
“Hey, is Ayaka okay? Hey!”
Surrounded by my classmates, I could only shake my head while looking at the floor. The noise was painful to my ears. I pushed away the people and ran away.
At the pitch black bicycle parking lot, my bike was so cold that it was as if it had frozen.
When I went ho, I snuggled into my bed, imagining the mont when Ayaka crossed over the railings on the rooftop to jump of the building, but I couldn't. What's with this? What on Earth is with this? My tightly clenched hands started to tremble, and I started feeling nauseous. I fervently tried not to, and in the end I went into the realm when reality and dreams interlaced and slept.
*
The next morning, the television broadcasted the news of a female student suiciding by jumping off the rooftop of M High School. It seed like they found her shoes arranged tidily by the railings, but didn't find a will. When the screen showed the familiar school entrance and buildings, I rushed into the washroom and threw up, but only gastric acid ca out.
“I'll help you call the school for sick leave!”
My sister said to , who closed myself in my room. It was only at these monts that my emotionless, stern sister with her sharp eyes made feel a hint of gratitude. Finally, her voice saying “I'm going out” and there were footsteps walking out of the entrance. I'm the only one left in the house.
There's only left.
I recalled the day on the rooftop. Did I say anything wrong? Was Ayaka trying to say anything to ? Why didn't she say it? Did I miss sothing? If I asked her, would she answer? Why didn't I ask? Why? My phone rang for quite so ti, but I pretended not to hear it. My mind kept replaying the few hours on that day at the rooftop.
The only thing that Ayaka left was the armband of the Gardening Club, printed with an orange logo on it. It's the armband that she wore on her arm that day. After I was forced to put it on, I wanted to return it to her, and brought it back ho straightaway.
Had Ayaka already planned to suicide at that mont?
I don't get it.
When I suddenly felt like opening the curtains, it was already dark outside. As soon as I turned on the lights, the glass windows reflected the pitiful face of a young man.
That person was .
With my back on the blue skies of the evening, I squatted down on the mat. It was like my body belonged to another person, as I couldn't even feel a hint of coldness.
*
When I finally saw Ayaka, it was two days after that.
In the room that was colorless but exceptionally bright, Ayaka laid on the mattress. I thought that Ayaka would be surrounded by many types of tubes and unknown machine, making her seem like a scary pincushion; but there's really just an IV hanging on her hand. I only recognized Ayaka's face. Her hair was completely shaved off. Her tightly wrapped head laid on the pillow looked very small in comparison.
I sat on the round stool, looking at the pale eyelids that wouldn't open again. At the other side of the bed, the doctor was explaining to Ayaka's mother about the difference of a person in a vegetative state and brain death.
I thought to myself: What's the difference?
Neither could talk nor laugh, so what's the difference?
Why didn't anyone say anything to , who's present? I don't get it. It's probably because I ca here early morning although it was already school ti, so I was mistaken as her family? The doctor then started to explain the paynt for euthanasia and life support system, but that might not be a doctor, but a rciless person from the insurance company. You all should just shut up. Why could you say these things in front of Ayaka as if nothing had happened?
Why did this happen to Ayaka?
Anger suddenly surged inside of .
This is all soone's fault, so person forced Ayaka to an impasse. What did God write in Ayaka's page of His notebook? It was a dumb thought, but I couldn't stop it. At a place that I don't know of, even if soone is stabbed, shot, or ran over, I don't care, but not about Ayaka.
I hugged my knees on the hard, round stool of the hospital, restraining the dumb thoughts that exploded in my heart.
After that, my classmates ca to visit Ayaka for quite a few tis. Compared with seeing Ayaka, they were even more surprised when they saw . It seed that they said stuff like cheer up, you can't skip school or sothing like that, but I couldn't really rember it.
In the end, the only person in the ward was . Only and Ayaka's empty shell were left. The winter sunlight that passed through the curtains was slow and weak.
I couldn't take it, so I dragged my stiff body and ran out of the hospital, went ho, and closed myself in my room.
*
On the following two or three days, I didn't even go out of my room.
I didn't feel like going to the hospital anymore, as I didn't want to see my classmates, and I felt sad when I saw Ayaka.
My sister knocked on the door and said: “You've skipped school for about a week now, huh?” I silently shook my head. Even though she couldn't see my expression, she still placed a big bowl of porridge in front of the door and went to work.
I didn't even touch it, and left the porridge to cool. It was not until noon that I opened the window that I didn't open for three days, and breathed in the outside air. My lungs and throat were burning, giving out white fus so clear that you could even catch it with your hands. The sunny sky was so dazzling that even my eyes started to hurt.
The last monts that I went through with Ayaka on the roof, were also on a sunny day like this.
Seeing the fact that I would turn out like this, I felt perplexed too. It was just soone other than doing suicide, it was just soone other than who wouldn't smile or open their mouth again, that's all.
The three months before would probably laugh at right now, huh? Or -
The doorbell suddenly rang, scaring into hiding below the windows. At the mont when I froze, the doorbell rang twice, thrice, and then a whole lot more. The sharp sound of the electric doorbell pierced my eardrums. Who was that? Why did they do that? Was that a child playing a prank?
The sounds of the doorbell finally stopped, and the sounds of an exhaust engine started. I peeked at the road outside the windows, and saw a skinny silhouette donning clothes for camouflage driving away a motorbike, and disappeared at the corner.
It was Major.
Why did Major co to my house?
I ran down the stairs and opened the door to the entrance. There was a black box on the doorstep, and familiar words were written on it in white - Hanamaru. With trembling hands, I picked up the box, tore away the tape and opened it.
White fus rushed out. In the whitish solids - dry ice, there were two round, transparent plastic cup, and there was ice cream sprinkled with chocolate powder on top on it.
Tiramisu.
‘Give a pull.'
I moved the box to the kitchen and sat down on the floor. I took out a cup and ate a mouthful of the ice cream. Swallowing food was abnormally hard, I choked on my second mouthful of ice cream. The ice cream that was cold, sweet and painful.
After finishing the two ice creams, I stared at the dry ice in the box until they finished subliming and disappeared. The weight and coldness on my knees finally disappeared after a long, long ti.
When I took a bath, I felt that my whole body had been refreshed.
Finally, it was five in the evening. Afterwards, I dried myself and walked out of the door.
*
I just didn't go to the ran shop for a week, but everything seed to have changed. The shop was full of custors, there were even people holding bowls on the chairs outside and on beer crates. It's just the usual view of the ran shop, but Ayaka was not there.
Min-san looked at , who was standing at the entrance, for a mont. The office workers who were chewing dumplings while reading the sports news were also staring at .
Min-san said: “You've finished the two ice creams?” I nodded.
“Is that so? One of them was for Ayaka.”
Min-san's words pierced my heart.
I left the bright entrance of the shop and went to the backdoor of the kitchen, but only saw Tetsu-senpai's silhouette in the darkness. Senpai was sitting on the second step of the stairs, and was reading a magazine about pachinko machines. I didn't even know what to say, so I could only remain silent, listening to the sounds of people ordering food and the sounds of cutlery colliding.
Tetsu-senpai finally stood up. I was surprised, and hurriedly straightened my back.
“Narumi, you wanted to teach you boxing, right?”
“…… Eh? Oh, Yeah…… That's right.”
“I owe you two hundred thousand, so I'll teach you for free, a two years course.”
“Senpai……”
“Stand up, and take off your coat.”
Tetsu-senpai's words were hard to oppose. I stood up and took off my coat.
“Why did you want to learn boxing?”
I stared blankly at Tetsu-senpai, then lowered my head and looked at my coarse hands.
“…… It's because I wanted to, beco stronger……”
“Hmm, so what's the fastest way to beco stronger?”
“Eh? Isn't it practice?”
“No, the correct answer is……”
Tetsu-senpai took out two rolls of bandages out of the bag beside him.
“Put on the bandages.”
“Eh?”
“The difference between a boxer and ordinary people is not being strong or weak, but they couldn't hit other people aninglessly. When you hit other people, your fists would hurt, and the other party would hurt too. When you think that the other person would hurt too, you couldn't hit them anymore. Put on the bandages.”
Tetsu-senpai wrapped up both of my fists firmly with bandages. My clenched fists didn't even feel like my own. After that, senpai took out a punching bag and wore it on his hands.
“Co! Punch ! Anywhere is okay.”
I lowered my head and started to hesitate. I was unable to raise my fists.
“Just start! Sotis, it's better for people to look for sothing to hit. Don't think of anything, just start!”
I raised my head and saw senpai smiling.
“I will accept your weak, powerless punches.”
My shoulders trembled, and a viscous liquid rose from the upper part of my waist to my flanks. If I just stood there without moving, I would probably just scream without a reason, so I flung out my tightly clenched fists.
My outstretched right fist made a ‘dong' sound, and was absorbed by the boxing gloves. A numbing pain was transmitted to my elbows and shoulders. I didn't care, and lashed out with my left fist. Colliding with the punching gloves as soon as I straightened my hands, the pain could be felt even from my teeth. Right, left, right, I continuously hit Tetsu-senpai's large silhouette. Even though I gave punched a lot, the tightly held boxing gloves would receive my fists, reflecting the attack back to my body. It hurts. When you hit people, your own self would feel pain. It's a simple and persuasive fact. Did Ayaka feel pain at that mont too? Or did she have no ti to feel pain? Sweat trickled into my eyes, blurring my vision. I could only hear my rapid breathing and the sound of hitting the punching gloves. This is a real sound that belonged to , and real pain.
I don't know how long I practiced, but before I knew it, I stood with my back bent, panting while holding the worn tires. As I worked out suddenly, my ears rang and my chest hurt. Sweat flowed from my forehead to my chin.
It was then that I finally knew why I ca to the ran shop - for Ayaka, and for myself.
I raised my head, and saw Tetsu-senpai looking relaxed.
“Do you want practice so more?”
I shook my head.
“Thank…… you, that's…… all for today.”
I took off the bandages and handed it back to senpai, my body still burning. That's quite natural, it's because I'm still alive. Ayaka might not feel this heat any more, but at least I could still stand up with my own two feet.
“I'll go look for Alice.”
*
The room was dimly lit because of the tens of monitors in the room. Alice was sitting on the bedside. It might be because of her black, luscious hair, but it made her silhouette look just like a vase, and the vase was filled with stars in the galaxy.
“This is the way that I express my sadness, because I do not know of any other way.”
Alice said with her back against . In the darkness, the speed of Alice hamring on the keyboard was rapid, and the sound was like the rapid-fire sound of an automatic rifle used in a war that was at the other side of the Earth.
“I've checked Ayaka's dical records, but actually I know that I didn't have to do that. The one who understands the most that Ayaka could not recover ever again, would probably be you, who had seen it with your own eyes.”
Could not—recover.
Is that true? Although the doctors have said, Ayaka would probably need to lie on the bed all her life, passing her days in a vegetative state.
“But you still ca to to look for . I actually thought that you'd close yourself in your room, or attempt suicide.”
“Is that so?”
I sat down in front of the bed. Alice stopped typing on the keyboard and turned around. The colorful pajamas looked like it was the color of rcury due to the rays of light by the monitor, while the eyes looked as though they would crumble if you just touch it, and were emitting a weak ray of light.
“…… You wouldn't even get angry if I said that.”
“Eh?”
“No, nothing, it's my bad.”
I think I've heard sothing incredible, Alice actually apologized to .
“I have no reason to get angry. If nobody cares about , then I would probably turn out like you have said.”
“Really? Then you should be thankful to the shopkeeper who's so good at making ice creams.”
I nodded my head.
“Speak your request!”
“Alice, you're a detective, right?”
“I'm not an ordinary detective, but a NEET detective!”
“One who could search the whole world without taking a step out of the room, and find out the truth?”
“It is as you have said.” Alice showed her sad eyes, smiling self-mockingly.
Of course I don't believe her exaggerated promotions, but I don't have any other person to turn to.
“Then……” I swallowed, “I would like to request you to investigate sothing for .”
I spoke of it myself, but it sounded sowhat funny.
At that mont, I was stared at by Alice's large, deep eyes, and experienced the pain of a stopped breathing. The young girl said with a faint voice:
“What do you wish to know?”
“Why did Ayaka…… turn out like that?”
Alice drooped her long eyelashes, looking as if she's thinking, and also looked like she was listening to a sound that she couldn't hear.
“…… Do you still rember what I've said before? A detective is the representative of the deceased, looking for lost words from their graves, hurting the living for the sake of protecting the honour of the deceased, and condemning the dead for the sake of consoling the living.”
“I rember.”
Alice opened her eyes.
“Then I'll ask you once again, my investigation might expose what Ayaka wanted to hide, or even destroy your ignorant but peaceful life. Do you still want to know in spite of that?”
Even so—
Even so, I--
“I still want to know.”
Alice gave a huge sigh.
“I understand, then I accept your request. You don't need to pay , because I, too, wish to know the answer.”
I widened my eyes.
“…… Eh?”
“I've already figured out what you want to know, although all of this is too late……”
“The- then……”
Alice's sharp voice interrupted my words.
“Things are already clear, you don't need to ponder why Ayaka wanted to die, the thing that I wish to know of is not this.”
“What are you talking abo……”
“What I wish to know is, ‘Why did Ayaka choose to die at school’.”
I was montarily dumbstruck, and couldn't understand what Alice wanted to say.
“The day before she committed suicide was Monday, and Ayaka didn't go to school, you know of this too. But according to witnesses, Ayaka went to school after school finished for so reason, and didn't go back ho. On Monday night, Ayaka had already hidden herself on the rooftop, then waited until morning to commit suicide from the rooftop. Do you understand? Ayaka didn't just impulsively run to the school rooftop to commit suicide, but chose to commit suicide at the school rooftop from the start. Why did she do so?”
I felt a chill across my back.
The reason that she chose to die at school. Choosing…… the place that she'd die?
“I don't understand. I don't understand why Ayaka wanted to die at school, but I must know. So I need your help, as the person who's the closest with Ayaka these two months is you.”
“……? Why? Why do you want to know about this?”
Alice raised one side of her brows with her eyes widened, looking like she's angry or mystified.
“Why? Why do I want to know about this? You're asking this question? You who wanted to know why Ayaka committed suicide, actually asked this question?”
“Ah……”
“Just like you, I must know the reason why Ayaka committed suicide, because I should be able to prevent her from doing that. If I knew about this earlier, knowing much more, I could prevent Ayaka from committing suicide. It's my fault that Ayaka turned out like that. Even if things have already happened, I must know about that still, although it's already too late. If I don't do that, I will, I will……”
Alice made a sound as if she was forced into a corner and said repeatedly. I suppressed the emotions accumulated at my chest. What are the emotions that the young girl in front of showed ? Nostalgia, pain and helplessness.
"Are you willing to help ? Let's just make it as the paynt for your request."
Alice looked at like a drowning person clutching at a straw, the faint rays of light, the stars in the glass, now looked as if they were going to shatter.
The hands stretched towards my hand—
And I took hold of it.
“I understand, so I'll be your assistant, right?”
Alice heard my answer, and a surprised expression surfaced on her face.
The cold fingers.
The wet eyes filled with darkness.
All of them lted in a warm smile.
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