"EEEEEEEEE!" - owie. Stereo owie, even. Katherine and Lily-Anne, apparently, know each other decently well. And are friendly. Sohow, Katherine for all her savviness failed to realize that my having Lily-Anne in the harem does an Lily-Anne is going to be here and now on the airship. Or maybe she knew and just finds this exciting anyways. Aaaaand now they're talking. I'm sowhat envious of the baud rate. I an, I'd need to grow like... four mouths, at the minimum, to produce THAT volu of words in the sa ti.
Lily-Anne was the second to arrive. Bridgit made it over first, owing to her just blinking all around (and yes, people in the market square are already buzzing about "Everywhere Maid"), but obviously, she's feeling too shy to do more than greet Katherine and abscond to the kitchen. The slls drifting from under the door suggest that Bridgit is stress-baking pizza. Well, I am also helping her in that noble task, of course. So it's less stress-baking and more "started stress-baking and then got molested by frisky shoggoth".
"...You're unsatiable." - Bridgit pants from atop the table, her cheeks cherry red as she tries to smooth her skirt down.
"And you are my favorite al, dear. What's your point?" - I smirk at her.
"...gunununu..." - oh my. How excessively adorable. I still restrain myself to just hugging and kissing Bridgit's forehead while she pulls her underwear back up. Giving her a roll of tentacle-crafted elastic bands really paid off there. We all appreciate the convenience of elastic waistbands. Particularly, when I'm in a mood to eat a maid.
___
"Nnn... Aah... Alyssssaaaa...!" - Katherine is being... loud.
My entire harem is observing her with barely concealed smirks, as she licks her lips and moans.
"Seriously?" - I grumble - "It's just pizza."
"Give it up, dear." - Moon Unit chuckles - "First ti with pizza is always, ah... special." She sticks a slice into her own mouth imdiately after, taking her ti with it before continuing - "Not that second tis are any less, mind. Yum."
I... sigh. At tis I sort of wish I wasn't just rolling natural twenties on everything I make. It would complicate things, sure, but it would also let be a little less exasperated. Maybe. I think... Argh. Honestly, bitching about being too good is just... I need a distraction. Wonder what Falstaff is gonna co up with. He skedaddled a while ago to talk to his people and figure out the official response to what I did. I don't really have to worry about it much, not with Hiram and Katherine both vouching for , but I wouldn't put it past Hiram to politely but firmly ask I move the fuck on and preferably stay out of country for a while. Speaking of the devil...
"Yes?" - I quip, lifting the tablet. Hiram calling, go figure. Everyone quietens down and stares at the tablet, which I stick on one end of table, so that everyone is within the eyesight.
"...Pizza."
"Uh?" - I don't have anything more coherent to say to this. Hiram, what the fuck.
"...Pardon , ladies. Just... feeling peckish." - he proffers after a mont - "Anyway! Kathy, I see you've been enjoying yourself."
"...Out of curiosity, brother dearest, when were you going to ntion this wonderous pizza to ?" - Katherine proffers in a "calm" voice that suggests fury roiling just below the surface.
"As soon as there was so of it available for you to sample, why?" - he retorts blithely - "I would think bragging of sothing you may not have just yet would be a rotten move."
"Sooo how many tis did YOU have it?" - she continues, sowhat less "calm" and more calm than before.
"Once. When I was invited to the inaugural flight of the airship you're currently in." - he retorts wryly - "Mayhaps lady Gillespie will instruct you on how pizza is made, if you manage to avoid stirring more trouble for her on the way."
"You can hardly bla for graf Norn being so utterly abominable. Or for Hansliches being moronic enough to pick a fight with Alyssa." - she objects indignantly.
"Oh, I don't bla you for that, sister dearest." - he ripostes - "The earrings, however? That's on you."
Katherine's face hardens, then abruptly goes slack as Hiram continues smoothly - "I've inford father of your findings and shown him the proof. As a result, he no longer believes he can actually apologize. Not as a king, at the very least."
"What!? What do you an, no longer believes he can apologize?" - aaand Katherine is not happy with the situation. At all.
Hiram sighs. It's a long, protracted sigh.
"He does intend to do everything in his power to apologize as a father and as a man who was deeply wrong and hurt you because of it." - he then says gravely - "However, he is adamant that as a king, what he did is completely inexcusable. Therefore, Kathy, he intends to abdicate. I have until sumr to finish my education in Parsee and get my affairs in order, and then it's off to the coronation ceremony as soon as sumr starts. As soon as the crown is on my head, father intends to retire and leave Berlinger altogether. As far as I know, he plans to move to Munchen and spend the rest of his days trying his hand at beer brewing."
"Isn't that exactly the sort of irreparable thing I was supposed to talk him out of?" - she inquires thoughtfully.
Hiram sighs again.
"Technically, yes." - he admits - "However, he had a number of other argunts as to why this is actually the best for us and our country. As much as I want to object, his reasoning on the matter is sound. Father, to put it quite simply, is old, and feels his age. Lately, he feels that far too many decisions he makes turn out to be ineffective at best, if not actually harmful in so manner. Finding out he alienated his only daughter because he fell for the grifter sche was just the last drop in the pot full of troubles."
He sighs heavily, glares at , then smirks - "And although I am sorely tempted to na lady Gillespie as the root of those troubles, that would defeat the point. You did bring up a number of problems to the surface, but the causes... those predate you, Alyssa. By centuries, in so cases. Gods only know how will we resolve them all, yet try we must, nonetheless."
I'm pretty sure he is hinting at sothing. Curse my good nature and feeling inclined to promote Hiram as much as possible because he is firmly entrenched in my mind as the "goodest guy" from the ga. Then again, he did stick with that reputation pretty damn well, so far. Whatever, no point in dawdling.
"Let guess. You and Falstaff had hatched so plan that involves happening to more of the locals that don't seem to know where the political winds are blowing yet, isn't it so?" - I drawl sardonically.
"...Honestly, I'd pay quite a lot to be able to say NO." - Hiram offers after a pregnant pause - "But today, it seems like there is little other recourse but to pay quite a lot for saying yes."
He puts his hand over his eyes for a mont, and when he pulls it back, I'm surprised by the change in facial expression. This new Hiram looks twenty years older and definitely saw so choice shit over those decades. "This is not an official request." - he begins, his voice dull and forced - "This is not even an unofficial request. This is venting my bile after I forgot to turn off the communication artifact. Because, apparently, there exists a conspiracy of old maids that had been hindering and harming our land for years upon years. Because, apparently, Katherine is hardly the first Hohenzollern those spinsters had hurt grievously in their mad chase after our family heirlooms. Because, until a certain soone ever so helpfully extirpated a high lord in charge of an important city and in doing so exposed docunts that were never supposed to be seen by us, cris that were never supposed to be known to us and victims that were never supposed to be found by us, we had nary an idea this conspiracy existed, nor that their goals were so asinine that our very own spymaster had to be told what they were after three tis before he could comprehend the findings. Because Klaus had left Berlinger already and will be in Nornburg by the next evening to find and end everyone who still remains. Because it would be most politically convenient to if he were to arrive to naught but carnage and dead bodies. Because Falstaff has all the relevant details and has been granted my authority to disburse whatever compensation that can be made available from my personal funds, collections and holdings that it takes to make it so. And because I am going to demand wine now and keep drinking until this unbelievable nightmarish ss eats itself."
I shake my head and chuckle. "Ranting aside, check the side table, Hiram. I think you have a lot to do, so I'll leave you be." - I tell him and cut the connection. Nothing particularly important over there on the table, just a couple slices of pizza. I have a hunch Hiram needs a bit of a pick--up.
___
Falstaff is nowhere to be found, but have left a bunch of notes sohow nonetheless. Apparently, our primary objectives are, ahem... INTERESTING in their mode of thinking enough to be inviting to a face-to-face eting. To be entirely fair, they are likely unaware of more poignant tidbits, such as current Katherine's whereabouts, or being essentially taken into confidence by their up-and-coming sovereign who by all accounts seems to be of a mind they need not survive long enough to see him crowned. Which, frankly speaking, is saying sothing if even Hiram, mister common sense himself, believes you need to shuffle your mortal coil.
Anyways, I need to... nevermind, here's yet another footman. Huh, I guess my adventures yesterday had been spreading around, this one is visibly trembling as he kneels in front of and wordlessly extends a sealed letter in my direction.
"Rise." - I mutter as I break the seal and check the insides. Yadda-yadda, cordially invited to afternoon tea with freiin Kleineschatz, schwagerlin von Norn. Huh. As far as I know, the count Norn that I smushed was not yet married, so... sister of his mother, then? One would think that one does not casually invite the murderer of your nephew for a palaver over tea and crumpets. Curiouser and curiouser. According to what Falstaff collected so far, may be connected to Kathy's treacherous governess, though how exactly is kinda nebulous. There seems to be so kind of loose coalition of old maids they're both part of and until recently, it was by and large considered to be a benign association of old won with an excess of free ti and money on their hands. Guess I'll go see what she wants. I'd be more cautious if the invitation were not specifically for alone, obviously. One'd think this is a red flag, but honestly, it's not like they actually have any ans of harming personally. I'd worry more if they singled out my wives as "expected guests".
___
Huh. So they really ARE that foolhardy. Wonder why. I was pretty blatant at Nornpalatz, throwing magic left and right. Do they presu I was there with a fresh bouquet or sothing? The mansion is pretty nice, I have to admit. Decor, however... To my perception, it looks like a bachelor built the house to live in, but then it was redecorated by a horde of rabid grannies. And then populated it with... excessively unduly amounts of people. Granted, there are so that are normally not around, like that gaggle of obvious guards all being cloistered away in the rooms in small groups. An ambush? How amusing. Or just... Insurance in case I'm feeling rowdy? Again, amusing they think they would matter, but... Anyway, the amount of SERVANTS, good googly moogly. So many people with so little to do. Why, oh WHY would one old woman need over two dozen of personal maids? Because she has twenty seven won present just currently. No idea what she does with them all. I'd understand having, I dunno, six maybe. If she is in poor health and needs to be carried around. Maybe a dozen so there's good redundancy just in case, at most. More than twice that much, just... why. It's like they are here solely so they could be lined up to welco visitors through a neat row.
My first impression of schwagerlin von Norn is "prissy old spinster". She is yet to say anything, but her facial expression already makes it clear her opinion of is "impertinent youth in need of mannerly instruction". Not impressed, to be honest. Unless she has a very good bribe for to change my mind, I am going to kill her on my way out. Directly related to Norn, likely aiding and abetting his actions (Including what he did to her own sister... or is it sister-in-law? I wonder.), yeah, no. And that is not even counting Falstaff's pretty well-reasoned suspicions she is in on the conspiracy that sought to marginalize Katherine in her own fatherland.
It is rather amusing to see her lips narrow out further into a "polite" frown when I walk past the maids without a second glance. I wonder what's up. Did she expect to be intimidated by sheer numbers? Or maybe by the opulence of having over two dozen people idle enough to be lined up like this as decorations? Or was there so kind of social convention about this? It is pretty clear she is trying so kind of social posturing dominance play, considering that the end of the hallway features stairs with a balcony, and she elected to await for there, giving her a vantage point to quite literally look down on . Whatever. It is even more amusing to see her "hidden" disapproval transition to alarm when I proceed to go up the stairs without pausing. I think the expectation was that I would remain downstairs until she invites to co up - a convenient way to show your disfavor being simply "forgetting" to give an invitation so that you could keep talking down to them from a literal height. I might have given so consideration to those rules if not for the fact I do have signed and verified papers for blood feud from two royals and therefore... Yeah. I will do horrible things to the crone before leaving.
"Let us hope you have sothing worth my ti to say." - I muse halfway up the stairs - "I am on a schedule." Considering the crone giving up on decorum and outright gaping in affront... Nailed it!
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