Interlude 22. Selene Monts
I'm excited! There's a note from Alyssa! She says she has a surprise for in the afternoon! I wonder what it is. She's been away on her vacation, so things were kind of slow. Still, it's a sweet kind of slow. I can finally go on proper dates with Edward! Well, uh... Kinda-sorta. I always wanted to go on a date to the mall, but malls aren't a thing yet! Maybe Alyssa will invent one. Good gods, she's aweso. She's glorious. She's the coffee-bringer. Seriously enough, coffee, pizza, affordable sweets... I guess I'm lucky she's a kind person deep down. I was kind of a jerk to her at first. And at second, too, co to think of it. It took a while for to pull my head out of my ass. We're totes cool now, best friends even. Maybe even a little more than that. Edward's a sweetie, but if I rember the hints from the ga right, he's kinda maybe... Well. The thing was mostly glossed over in the official western version, but I rember reading on the internet that in the original, Ed was kinda pervy and cool with swinger stuff. Not hurrying there, NTR is a trash fetish, but if Ed is cool with it, I totally wanna jump Alyssa's bones. Or, heh, tentacles. Sheesh, I can't believe she just... casually goes "yeah, I haz tentacles and know how to put them on schoolgirls".
Aaanyway, I'm cool, I'm cool. This thing with her isn't a certain bet yet, and won't be on the table for a while anyways... And I still need to talk to her girls and ask them for permission too... I'll get there, I guess. One day at a ti, Selene, one day at a ti. I wonder what kind of surprise Alyssa has for ... What's that scraping sound?
"...eee..." - I squeal as it rounds the corner. Angly harsh black iron thing, pointy and rusty, a pyramid atop the muscular torso dressed in a bloodstained apron, a huge knife making that scraping noise...
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEIII OH GODS HOLY FUCKING WHY?" - and I'm running down the corridor as the fucking Pyramidhead walks after . Oh gods oh gods oh gods what the everloving fuck is going on, where is everyone, what is going on, where did THIS unholy bastard co from and WHYYYY! I slam the door shut, smack the deadbolt into place and continue running toward the window. This is beyond fucked up, oh gods, what the fuck. Aaand that's where I run face-first into tits.
"GBAH!... Oh gods what, Alyssa whatthefuckishappeningthereisfuckingpyramidheadafter!" - I babble as I bounce off from her. Ow. Her tits are hard... And her eyes are just empty bloody holes AAAAAAAAAAAH!... No, wait, this...
"Pffhahaha, got you!" - she chortles, slapping her knee with her palm, as her face suddenly reverts to her normal look. I look around in panic, squeak as Pyramidhead just casually steps out from the bathroom opposite to the door I just slamd shut... and morphs into another Alyssa, who cos up to high-five the first one. Two Alyssas turn to , and with absolutely insufferable identical smirks, say "Surprise?!"
I, uh... beat on both of them and called them every bad word I knew in every language. That was fucking rough prank. A really neat one, I admit, but holy shit why, I just about shat myself.
"Co on. I was sitting on that joke ever since I've transmigrated." - she objects - "I an, my na is Alyssa Gillespie, for crying out loud. How could I not do a Silent Hill gag? And you're just about the only person who'd get it, too. I an, maybe Jeannette-Thereze would too, but I barely know her yet. Oh, speaking of which, she's like us and I told her about you, so she just might co up soti to shoot air. Just keep in mind she's been here for a while, first thing she asked is who won, Obama or McCain, so, yeah. Fifteen years is my educated guess, give or take. Better start brushing up on the stuff you watched, she was really curious about anis for so reason. Also, heads up, she's actually two people in one body. One's Jeanette and the other's Thereze. They're sisters, and yes, they're just like in the ga, except not vampire."
"Why there are two of you." - I ask dumbly. I know, I know, but... like.. just... how? I an, I, uh, well... Alyssa sort of DOES that thing. That's her schtick, even. Doing impo.. no. Not impossible. Inconceivable. Still, just.. AAAAAGH! Why does she have all the best ideas? Soooo jelly.
"Oh, yeah, rember ntioning extre bioplasticity? Turns out I don't actually need to be physically connected. Multitasking is a bitch, though, the more instances I try to run, the easier it is to screw sothing up." - she quips back happily. SOOO JELLY. And a little bit uncomfortably aroused, seeing her just...ld together into a single figure. Goodness golly gracious, a LOT little bit uncomfortably aroused. NNgh. Ditto ain't got shit on her.
"Anyway, I'm still on vacation, I just realized I should warn you about Jeannette-Thereze since I told her about you and all that... Oh, and here, have a tablet." - aand she gives yet another thing I thought I've left behind in other life - "I've populated a contact list for you with so mutual acquaintances, but the rest is all on you. I've made sure there were enough tablets delivered to his majesty to be sure everyone in the royal family has their own, so, yeah. Might want to exchange contacts with Jeannette-Thereze if she cos around. Toodles, see you in the spring. Or sooner if you decide to videocall, I guess."
___
Aaaa! Eeee! OOoh!
...Why yes, I have taken a leave of my senses, to borrow so sarcasm from Alyssa. I an, I had good reason to! But... just... Agh. The tablet. Sohow. Has internet. Granted, it's not obvious. The browser is stuck out of the way in the "experintal" nu. I only turned it on out of curiosity. And promptly lost my marbles when I saw Google prompt asking if I'm feeling lucky. Good gods, I can't believe I can catch up on everything... And I do an everything. My old accounts are all closed down, it looks like. And, morbidly enough, I actually read my own obituary. Apparently, I just fell asleep one evening and just... never woke up again. Man, it was crazy waking up here. Took a couple days to really believe I transmigrated sowhere. A couple weeks to truly believe I am now ablebodied.
I thought about posting, but... yeah, well, no. I'm dead and gone, trying to pull off communication from beyond the grave is just gonna make things awkward for everyone. Besides, I'm pretty sure my folks are low-key relieved I've finally croaked. No need to rain on their parade. Yeah, I know, kinda morbid to think of myself like this, but let's be honest - I was always a burden in the last life. Being born with a degenerative neural disorder will do that. This, well, is why I am more or less permanently in a "drunk on life" mood, to be honest - because I kinda am. Being ablebodied will do that to a person. Last life, I only ever was truly mobile until I was like... nine. After that? Well, motor skills are one of the first things impacted by Batten disease. The last few years were nothing but bed rest. Still counting myself lucky I didn't lose vision almost until the end. Internet was my isekai before I got isekai'd for real, heh.
So yeah, I'mma lurk. Not sure if I even can post anything from here, or this thing is one way onl... wait, no, stupid idea. Internet is never one-way only. Still, gonna lurk. And read so stuff. Not sure what kind of bandwidth Alyssa can put on these, or how it even works, so I'mma be cautious about it. Don't want to find out I used up all the internet I'll ever have in this new life of mine in a one-night cat videos binge.
...Or not. That was an Academy footman right now. Apparently, I'm expected at the palace. Wonder why. Ed would just co over, I doubt the king would bother summoning like this, no real reason for him to do that right now, so... Wait, I have an invitation, I don't actually need to guess... Oh. Ooh. Good grief, Alyssa's timing is... Actually, co to think of it, she always has this insane timing. Because I'm invited by Jeannette-Thereze. The official reason being that being Ed's putative fiancee ans we might be in-laws in the future, hence so getting to know each other. And, for everyone else, she's also "doublechecking if she's suitable for his excellency Edward" behind the lines. So glad this is not the setting like one of those gritty dieval fantasies with a super-formal court. I'd never get through one of those safely.
___
Jeannette is so much easier to talk to than Thereze. I an, don't get wrong, Thereze is cool. But she's just so... PRIM. Not "passively-aggressively in your face" prim, too. I could deal with that. No, her deal is "prim because she was born a lady" kinda prim. Still, now that Alyssa clued in they're actually different people sharing one body, it started making a lot of sense. I used to think Jeannette-Thereze is bipolar or sothing before. Not really much of a reason for to hang out with crownprincess to begin with, to be honest, but... yeah, I had opinions. Impressions, even.
"...Jeebus. No wonder you're larking about. Your last life was balls to the wall awful." - Jeannette commiserates. Sohow, they word the whole story out of . Man, their social-fu is on a whole different level. I never even told Alyssa that, and she's my BFF in this life, I guess. Then again, Alyssa never asked, and I have this distinct feeling her own previous life wasn't sothing she likes to think back to much, sa as .
"Yeah well, I like this one way better." - I agree with a van smile, sipping my coffee. Jeannette copies , wrinkles her nose and stirs yet another spoonful of sugar in.
"Gah. Still not... quite it." - she grumbles - "Like, can you believe? No one knows what cocoa is. Like... not even in theory."
"I had no idea coffee is called cava around here until Alyssa clued in. Maybe there is cocoa, just called sothing different?" - I suggest.
"If only." - Thereze replies, making twitch. The way they shift back and forth is innerving. Not uncomfortably hot like what Alyssa does with her randomly being maybe liquid, but... Like, everything stays the sa, but also changes. The expression, the pose, the tilt of brow, lip, cheek... Little things, but the overall effect is quite jarring. Aanyway, she is saying sothing... "...No cocoa equivalent. Then again, the maps I have seen strongly suggest there might be undiscovered lands across the ocean, so... Entirely possible there is a local analogue of New World. Weirdly, so things like potato are already known, though. Not sure how. Might be the divergence or there were people who did find the way across the ocean in the past."
"Wait, idea!" - Jeanette suddenly cos to the surface forcefully - "Selene, your dad is like... a ship captain, right? Why can't we hire him to discover us our own Arica?"
"Maybe because discoveries like that are expensive and dangerous endeavours?" - Thereze cos up again - "Still, the idea DOES have a certain rit, and I do believe we could devote so funds towards financing geographic discovery, if opportunity exists. Selene, what do you think? Would your father be even interested in trying to sail across the ocean?"
I have to chuckle. "Technically, yeah, but Alyssa already called dibs on him." - I reply cheerfully - "She is giving dad a whole lot of moolah to build up a trade fleet and new ship designs too, so, yeah. He's probably gonna be working with her for a while."
"New designs, really?" - Thereze muses - "Do you happen to rember any details about those, perchance? That is, if saying sothing to us is not betraying anyone's confidences, of course."
"Alyssa gave us like a presentation a while ago. So yeah, probably fine." - I wave the concern off - "Dad used to have a pair of cogs. Basically big boats, rather then ships. Since he stuck to jobs around Haver or just sailed out to fish most of the ti, it was fine. He'd like to have sothing bigger, but karrack is just too expensive for him. Then Alyssa ca along, and now my dad sold the cogs and instead had a pair of sloops built. I THINK they're a bit bigger and have fancy triangular sails instead of dinky square ones."
"Schooner rigging? Ok, but still small boats only?" - Thereze apparently is interested.
"So far?" - I shrug - "They were the simplest to build. Right now, dad is using these two to do what he did with cogs, and waiting on brigantines. Alyssa gave him schematics and money to build two and hire them up. She also said once he gets the brigandines on the water and starts working them for good, she will give him cash to build a clipper. Dad's kinda obsessed with ships going fast, there's no way he would pass up on owning a clipper, you know? Oh and Alyssa said sothing about giving him two galleons for the trade fleet once he has the rest of ships built and tested. Sothing sothing rebuilding old karracks to better standards, I think."
"Ohhh. So a diverse trading fleet, I see. Sloops for local jobs, brigantines for short distance trading, galleons for heavy loads and clippers for luxury wares. Alyssa thinks big, have to give her that." - she muses - "Goodness, I need to get in on that. That promises to be lucrative."
"Windjamrs were also ntioned as future option, along with steamboats." - I poke. It's weird seeing Thereze so animated. Guess business talk really gets her going.
"Wait, wait, tiout. Windjamrs, as in like those humongous fuck-off big huge ships with like seven masts or sothing?" - Jeannette pipes up - "Wow, that sounds cool. Think she'll invite us for the inaugural cruise?"
"..Uh, probably? I an, if she does the cruise thing at all, yeah, I think. Maybe? Better ask her, I think. Oh, speaking of Alyssa, did you see the latest crazy thing she pulled off?" - I retort.
"Do tell." - Thereze answers for both of them, looking strangely intent.
"Check this out. Past life internet!" - I gleefully inform them, poking the relevant icon on the tablet.
"...Tusk and Horny?" - Jeannette muses - "Plundering dungeons for their tight sheaths and girthy swords? Oh, my. That sounds... raunchy."
I... probably should have closed the last page viewed. So mortified!
"Internet, and first thing you did was to look up so smut to read?" - Thereze muses incredulously - "Seriously, Selene? Seriously?"
"Aw co off it." - Jeannette pipes up - "So she likes so futanari words, what of it? We don't kinksha in this reality, sis."
"I an, was it truly the most important thing to look up?" - Thereze defends her stance - "I do not know about you, but first thing I'd look up would be what happened to our past family."
I sigh. "In my defence, I did find my own obituary." - I offer quietly - "Decided to just lurk and read raunchy stuff after seeing it. I'm pretty sure communicating from beyond the grave would give my folks nothing but grief."
She puts her hand on my shoulder. "...I am sorry." - they say in a rare mont of complete unity.
"Skipping that, lem see that story!" - Jeanette suddenly snatches up the tablet - "OOh, oh my, sounds like the hero is about to get FUCKED."
"Ee! Don't spoil , please! I still haven't read that chapter!" - I object, chuckling.
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