I Was Reincarnated as a Dungeon, So What? I Just Want to Take a Nap. Chapter 45: The Mochi Method™

The official recognition from the DLRB that my dream training was "effective" was the worst thing that could have possibly happened to my nap schedule. For , it was a quiet success. For FaeLina, it was a starter pistol for a race to global brand domination.

She spent the entire morning presenting with her new business plan.

’Okay, Mochi, listen up!’ her psychic voice buzzed with the energy of a thousand bees. ’We can’t just call it ’Dream Combat Training.’ That’s boring! We need sothing with flair! I’ve decided to call it... The Mochi thod™!’

She showed a ntal image of a logo she’d designed. It was a cartoon drawing of a sleeping brain happily lifting a tiny dumbbell.

’And the slogans!’ she continued, ignoring my stony silence. ’"The Mochi thod™: Slay Your Inner Demons While You Sleep!" Or how about this one: "Level Up Your Mind with Subconscious Sparring!" It’s brilliant!’

’It’s horrifying,’ I thought. My quiet, personal project was being turned into a corporate wellness retreat with cheesy marketing. My only goal had been to stop the Iron Gryphons from getting soft so they wouldn’t cancel their contract. I had accidentally created a whole new industry.

Before I could project my official, resounding ’No,’ the Guild Bulletin Board chid with a new [Direct ssage]. It wasn’t from Guildmaster Peppin. It was from a different guild, one with a much fancier insignia shaped like a bird made of silver.

FaeLina read the ssage, her wings fluttering with excitent. "It’s from the Silver Griffins! They’re one of the richest guilds in the capital! They’re all high-born nobles!"

The ssage read:

To the Core of the Sanctuary. We have heard rumors of your... unconventional training thods. Our own guild’s knights are highly disciplined, but so lack the ntal fortitude for missions requiring a certain... ruthlessness. We are intrigued by your ’Cozy Core thod.’ We wish to send one of our knights for a trial session.

FaeLina was practically vibrating. ’A new client! And a noble one! Mochi, we can charge them a fortune! Quote them a hundred gold for the first session!’

I was much more wary. My thod wasn’t designed for "ruthlessness." It was designed for the opposite.

’Ask for more information on the candidate,’ I projected to FaeLina, who relayed the question.

The reply from the Silver Griffin Guildmaster was almost instant.

Our candidate is a young knight nad Sir Reginald. He is, by all accounts, a perfect warrior—brave, strong, and impeccably loyal. He has only one minor, recurring flaw: he is completely unable to fight any opponent he perceives as ’cute’ or ’pathetic.’

I paused. ’What?’

The ssage continued. He was recently defeated in the capital’s grand tournant because his opponent was a gno who fought with a parasol. Sir Reginald felt it would be ’terribly impolite’ to strike him. He needs to overco this weakness.

This was, without a doubt, the most ridiculous problem I had ever heard of. They had a knight who was too nice to fight cute things.

FaeLina’s business-fueled excitent imdiately curdled into pure panic.

’A knight who can’t fight cute things?! Mochi, this is a trap!’ she fretted. ’If we fail to ’cure’ him, the snooty Silver Griffins will tell everyone our thod is a joke! But if we succeed, we’ll get a reputation as the dungeon that teaches noble knights how to punch kittens! We can’t win! This is a public relations nightmare!’

She was right. It was a no-win situation. It was complicated, stressful, and would require a lot of effort.

Naturally, I found it fascinating.

How do you teach a man to fight a Dust Bunny? It was a unique puzzle. And if I could solve it, maybe the Silver Griffins would pay enough that I could afford to take a month-long nap.

’Tell the Guildmaster we accept,’ I projected, ignoring FaeLina’s psychic screams of protest. ’Send your knight.’

A mont later, a new, very strange notification appeared.

[New ’Coaching’ Client Acquired: Sir Reginald of the Silver Griffins.]

[Training Objective: Cure ’Acute Cuteness Paralysis’.]

[Potential Rewards: High DP, Gold, Increased Reputation with Noble Factions.]

[Potential Risk: Becoming known as the place that trains heroes to be an to small, fluffy animals.]

This was getting complicated.