I Died and Became a Hollow, But I Get Stronger by Being an Idiot Chapter 50: "Cactus-Sama, The Guardian of Idiocy"

After yesterday's nonsense, I sat in front of a cactus again.

It did nothing.

I liked that.

An idea hit my empty skull.

I grabbed an old hollow skull I found nearby and jamd it on top of the cactus.

"GUOOOHH!!"

(Translation: You are now… house guard!)

Aizen, my loyal dumb dog, wagged his tail like he understood. He probably didn't.

[EP Gained: 10,000]

[Reason: Promoted a cactus to house security]

I gave the cactus a na in my head, because I still couldn't talk.

Spike-o-sensei.

Aizen sniffed the cactus and sneezed.

I needed to test Spike-o-sensei's skills. So I grabbed a small rock and placed it beside the cactus.

I pointed at the rock.

"GUOOOH."

(Translation: Guard this! Important!)

Then I ran off. Chased a butterfly-shaped hollow.

It turned out to be a leaf.

I ate it. Tasted like sand.

When I ca back, the rock was still there.

I was amazed.

"GUOOOOOOOHHHH!!"

(Translation: GOOD JOB SPIKE-O-SENSEI!! BEST GUARD EVER!!)

[EP Gained: 12,000]

[Reason: Praised a cactus for guarding a rock]

To make it official, I made a sign.

Not with writing — because I couldn't.

So I took bones and shaped them like a warning face.

Then I planted them beside Spike-o-sensei.

A tiny hollow passed by, looked at the cactus and bone face, and scread before running away.

I rolled on the sand laughing like an idiot.

[EP Gained: 13,000]

[Reason: Scared soone off with a cactus and bone sign]

Aizen barked and chased his own tail.

"GUOOOHH!"

(Translation: Aizen, we got a squad now! You, , and Spike-o-sensei!)

[Current EP: 1,636,500 / 100,000,000]

And just like that, my pathetic base now had a fearless, unmoving, possibly brain-dead cactus as a guard.