Dinner was finished right in ti after Iris and I were done reconciling. Dad was already ho, and the dinner that night was so lively with the addition of my friends.
Since it was quite late already, my friends left after they had their dinner.
“You’re going to co back to school next week, right, Aneki?” Dmitria asked just to make sure.
“Of course I will!” I made a posture of ‘flexing my arms’ muscles’—although clearly I had none... (｡•́︿•̀｡)
“Then, see you at school!” Iris said, clearly in a better mood.
“Mm, see you,” I nodded as I waved at my friends in front of my house’s door.
“Should we send a guard to accompany them?” Dad asked again in a worry.
“Haha, no need. I am here. If push cos to shove, I can--,” Carbuncle smirked.
There was no need to finish her sentence. We all knew what that ant. Therefore, Dad didn’t call one of our guards to accompany my friends all the way back to the academy.
“Lyra, may I...?” Clavis asked once I went up the stairs.
“Ah, right. There’s sothing you’d like to talk with about?” I asked as I sat down on the sofa in my room.
Clavis entered the room and sat down next to .
“Lyra, has there been sothing bugging your mind aside from your quarrel with Iris?” Clavis asked. It was so on point.
“How do you know?” I imdiately asked as there was no way I could dodge this question any longer.
“Altaire told that there should be various matters to cause your dark magic to be unstable. He said I might be reluctant to tell a family mber, so I offered myself to ask you,” Clavis said before he added.
“I know how it feels like having so things we can’t co clean to our family mbers. It’s exactly because we’re close that we hesitate to tell them... right? I promise I won’t tell them if you don’t want to. I just want you to know that I’m right here by your side, so you can co to whenever you need . You extended a helping hand to when I was in a similar situation, so it’s my turn to help you this ti.”
I was touched by Clavis’ words. He related what happened to to what happened when his werebeast power awakened.
“But I won’t force you if you don’t want to talk about it,” Clavis added after a mont of silent.
Well, I just happen to need soone to tell this to.
“Clavis... I... to be honest, I’m still not sure of it all... To be honest, I’m scared,” I said as I hung my head down.
Instead of asking questions, Clavis only stayed silent as he waited for to continue. I took a deep breath before I continued.
“I have sothing I’ve been hiding from everyone all this ti, but I don’t want to talk about it. I’m afraid if I were to tell anyone this, I... our relationships will change to the worse. I know that it might be my paranoia, but I treasure everyone so much that I’m scared of losing it all...”
“Lyra... You know that your family and friends—or at least —won’t shun you no matter what, right?” Clavis calmly asked.
“I know, but at the sa ti, in the corner of my heart...”
“...I understand. But Lyra, that secret you’re hiding... It isn’t sothing that will hurt others, right?”
“No, of course not... Uhm, I think it isn’t. But my dark magic might have sothing to do with it...”
“If it’s burdening you that much and you want to tell soone or consult it with soone you trust, then that will be good. But in case telling soone puts more burden to you... Will you be able to try untangle the knot yourself?” Clavis looked into my eyes solemnly.
“...I will try,” I said as that was what I was thinking all along.
Ever since I woke up, my mind had been thinking about what to do next with my dark magic. My magic outbreak convinced that I had no choice but to master dark magic, at least to a certain degree that would enable to have control over it. So that there won’t be the next ti... So that I wouldn’t be manipulated.
But I am also aware that the source of the ‘darkness’ within my heart, one that I had to overco actually lied in my past lifeti.
Perhaps I could try untangling the knot myself, like Clavis said. But if push cos to shove, then I might need so helping hand. Will I be able to get an external help without spilling everything?
I’m still uneasy about telling my past identity to anyone, going by the relationships we had. I should be around the sa age or generation as my current parents and almost beca King Titus’ suitor. How awkward can the situation be?
Even if they can accept that part of and won’t see as sothing weird, there’s bound to be so awkwardness. The parent-child relationship might turn into an equal relationship of soone from the sa generation, and that would be bad.
...Really, why did that light-god reincarnate under such awkward position?
“Rember Lyra, you are not alone.”
Clavis’ words pulled back to reality and touched my heart at the sa ti.
That’s right. The outbreak happened because I was trying to handle everything alone. But I am no longer alone, like what the little Reinst told when I was in comatose.
If—even after trying hard—I encounter a dead end, perhaps at that ti I should really discuss this with soone else.
Mom is the Head of the Royal Magicians, I already have the greatest assistance one can ever hope for.
“Thank you, Clavis. Really,” I raised my face and smiled at him.
Clavis was stunned at first, but he quickly added, “But don’t overdo yourself, okay?”
“Mm, okay,” I nodded.
“And Lyra... I know you are strong, but...,” Clavis added.
“But at the sa ti, I see that you are fragile. If you are tired of trying to act strong, if you ever feel like you want to just be protected...,” Clavis suddenly stood up and went in front of .
Then, he kneeled like how a knight would.
He also took my hand and... kissed it!
“I will be the knight that will protect you. That’s why I’ve been trying to be stronger,” he said after his lips parted from my hand.
Oh my gosh, I feel like my cheeks are heating up.
After that, Clavis let go of my hand and added while still kneeling, “I’ve been wanting to tell you all this ti, but I held myself back because I really like seeing you the way you are, Lyra. I don’t want you to feel awkward around , so I held myself back all this ti. But after that incident and after seeing the fragile you, I couldn’t hold myself again.”
I had a hunch that Clavis was... to ... but I denied it and my mind was too focused on other things. Besides, aren’t we too young for this?
Clavis smiled as he went back to sit.
“I just want you to keep that in mind so you know that you will always have soone by your side whenever you need it. But let’s act like usual, okay?” Clavis asked.
I can’t promise you I can act like usual, but I’ve been used to masking myself as Reinst all along, so I should be able to...
“Haha, this is precisely why I thought of waiting for a little bit longer,” Clavis laughed after I didn’t give any precise answer to him.
“But I won’t regret this,” he said with a charming smile.
Oh my... God!!
Even in the thirteen years I spent as Reinst, never once did I encounter myself in this type of situation, so I was completely clueless on how I should act.
“If you’re feeling that awkward, you can see as soone like your big brother, then,” Clavis said with a troubled expression before he added, “I rember when we were children, you addressed as ‘Clavis-nii’ but since who-knows-when, you deleted that ‘-nii’.”
Ah, that. Yeah, I rember that, too.
I acted like a child confused in learning about the correct usage of the honorifics and distinguishing between family or not. Besides, he was kinda like a brother, too.
But as ti passed by, I no longer felt the need to show my confusion over honorifics usage and people would see it weird if I addressed him with ‘-nii’, so I addressed Clavis with just his na. It would be awkward for to continue addressing him with ‘-nii’ after I grew up.
“I was a bit sad at that ti, but now I’m glad for it instead. So I know you don’t just see as your big brother,” Clavis smiled aningfully.
Gah! He is just 14 years old this year, but he’s so smooth!
It is true that he has been holding back all this ti!
“...Thank you, Clavis... I—”
“I know you can’t answer now, and I don’t mind waiting. So, please just continue being yourself and answer when you feel like you’ve found the answer,” Clavis knew what I was going to say, so he cut my words off.
“Thank you, really,” I smiled at him.
That’s right. We are still young. It can also be that Clavis mistook his protective feelings towards as... affection. It could also be familial affection.
So, it would be better to take one step at the mont.
There is still an important knot that I have to untangle in my life.
Thus, my private talk with Clavis ended.
I felt like I was slightly more relieved upon knowing that I had soone who’d side with no matter what. I saw sincerity in his eyes, so I chose to believe that instead of doubting like how I usually did.
If my trust was proven to be wrong, then the problem wasn’t in for trusting, but it lied in that person’s attitude.
That’s what I’ve learned from my life so far.
That night, when Mom checked on again, she dropped a question to .
“How do you feel after eting your friends again, Lyra?”
“Mm, I feel good and happy, Mom. Having friends is really good,” I smiled happily before I rembered sothing.
“What’s wrong?” Mom picked up on my weird expression.
“That’s right, Mom. Luca is more or less my very first friend of the sa age, right? I thought he would care, but he didn’t even co to visit . He doesn’t even care about ...,” I whined a bit. I was still feeling sour upon this.
Mom then smiled.
I sulked upon seeing her smile. It wasn’t the appropriate response, hello?
“Really, Lyra. It’s not that Luca doesn’t care about you. He cares a great deal about you, that I know. He visited you when you were still unconscious after all,” Mom told .
“Eh, really? But why won’t he see , then?” That’s weird.
“Perhaps he doesn’t feel like he has any face to see you after failing to help you? He even skipped school today, if I rember correctly,” Mom raised her eyebrow in a teasing manner.
“What? How could that be? What could he have done at that ti?” I scolded Luca in my heart. If that was the case, then his pride was too big. He couldn’t even do anything under such situation, and yet...
“Oh, he could have done sothing and so he did,” Mom suddenly dropped a bomb on .
“Eh?” I imdiately turned to look at Mom with my questioning gaze.
Mom laughed looking at my reaction as she whispered to my ears...
“What? Really?” I widened my eyes in surprise.
“Why don’t you ask him yourself if you’re doubting it?” Mom suggested.
“...Then,” I closed my eyes as I steeled my resolve.
“Can I go to the Capicastle to see him tomorrow?”
Author's Note:
Thanks for reading and don't hesitate to comnt! To support this series, just click the button below :3
If you'd like to mingle with other readers and discuss the story, don't hesitate to join my Discord server!
I'm also here to tell everyone that sch has written chapter 2 of his fan fiction: Silent Observer that you can read here. To go to chapter 1 of his fan fiction of this series, you can click here instead. They're beautifully well-written. Thanks a lot to sch! ^^
Reviews
All reviews (0)