The mont the King and Northern walked out, Roma followed. Before anyone could call her na, she bolted from the room, leaving her brother and mother staring after her with identical expressions of concern.
Eisha moved to follow, but the Queen's hand caught her arm.
"Young lady, you need not… that girl…" The Queen's voice softened. "If she stepped out, it was because she needed to."
Eisha's gaze moved between the Queen and the slightly opened door, uncertainty pulling at her chest. She was worried about Roma. All of them—they wouldn't be taking this news calmly. How could they?
After all, their mother had been sick for almost all their lives. The fact that healing might actually be possible… Eisha couldn't fathom what must be going through their minds right now. The weight of hope after so many years of accepting the inevitable.
Even Rieran, who looked to be in his thirties, seed to be holding himself together through sheer force of will. She wanted to attribute his composure to his position, his age and experience, the decades of learning to mask his emotions in court.
Eisha spared him one more glance. The young man with blue windswept hair stood rigid, his expression carefully neutral. But there was light in his eyes—fragile, dangerous hope—and beside him, his fist was clenched so tightly the knuckles had almost gone white.
She sighed.
***
Roma moved without thinking. The mont she cleared the door, she simply kept walking, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, stride quickening no matter how many people she passed.
"Your highness—"
"Your highness—"
The greetings died incomplete behind her. She had already moved beyond their reach before they could finish, her vision blurred and burning.
Eventually, she found herself walking through a covered passage that connected to another section of the palace. The stone was cool here, shadowed, and she was grateful for it. Grateful that fewer eyes could see her like this.
She crossed the vast compound. Guards and workers still paused to greet her, their voices respectful and curious, but Roma did not slow. Did not acknowledge them.
Roma reached a building that rose with several pillars carved from mountain stone, gray and weathered instead of the palace's usual pristine white. She passed through the vast ground-floor chamber without seeing it, climbed the stairs without feeling them, walked the hallway without rembering any of it—and then she was standing before the double doors of the Grand Archive.
Her hand hovered over the handle.
'What am I even doing here…'
She sighed, the sound shaky and wet.
'I hate myself… I'm so stupid.'
Her hand dropped. Her head dropped with it. Tears stread freely now, falling to the stone floor in small, silent impacts.
Was she happy?
Yes. She was happy. She was genuinely, overwhelmingly happy—so happy that sothing felt deeply wrong about it. She felt like she shouldn't be allowed to feel this way. Like happiness this intense was sothing she hadn't earned, hadn't deserved, was sohow stealing from soone more worthy.
Even though nothing was confird yet. Even though she should be tempering her expectations, protecting herself from disappointnt. She still couldn't help herself.
The hope of there being a cure for her mother was the greatest thing that had ever happened to her.
She…
She…
A sob escaped her throat. She wiped at her eyes again, the motion sluggish and ineffective.
"If I'm so happy, then why am I so sad and angry at the sa ti?" Roma whispered to herself, voice cracking. "Why? Is this how happy people behave?"
She didn't know. That was the terrible truth of it—she had never experienced happiness like this before. Not really. Her mother's sickness had worsened after giving birth to her. For as long as Roma could rember, there had been illness, decline. The slow, inexorable fading of soone she loved.
At so point, she had co to see herself as the bad luck. The source of the family's suffering.
Her parents had never hesitated to show her that she was their greatest blessing—they told her constantly, held her close, refused to let her carry that guilt. But it was so hard to believe when the evidence surrounded her every day. When she could see her mother growing weaker. When she could count the years of her own life against the years of her mother's decline and find them perfectly aligned.
Everyone was so good to her.
She didn't deserve any of it.
And now Rian…
Roma paused, her breath catching. Her eyes widened slightly.
'That's it.'
She had found the source of the pain twisting in her heart. Not just the hope. Not just the guilt. It was… Him.
'Rian…'
He was just so random guy she had t. So random stranger she had decided to teach because it made her feel better about her pathetic, useless self. With him, she had felt like she could actually control sothing in her life for once. Like her knowledge mattered. Like she wasn't just a burden waiting to beco an orphan.
Especially when he truly began to value her thoughts. When he listened to her. When he treated her opinions as if they held weight.
He was not wrong about her.
She was a hypocrite. A liar. She didn't deserve to be helped by soone like him—soone who had the power to actually change things, who could walk into a room and offer hope where none had existed.
'This is what hurts.'
She didn't deserve it.
Roma's eyes slowly drifted upward to the archive doors.
'So what am I doing here?'
That question… she couldn't answer it. Her feet had carried her here without permission, following so instinct she refused to examine.
The door opened.
Roma startled so violently she nearly tried to hide behind it, but Rian caught sight of her before she could move.
She knew it was his clone—it had to be, the original was still with the King—but it was absolutely impossible to tell the difference. They were identical in every way that mattered.
'That's the point of clones, you fool!'
She straightened, clearing her throat with theatrical dignity she absolutely did not feel.
"Ahem. I hope all is going well… just checking. I'll be, uhm, leaving soon."
Rian looked at her flatly. Said nothing. The silence stretched for two full seconds while Roma's composure crumbled further.
She started backing away.
He tilted his head, sothing curious flickering in his expression. "Didn't you co here to talk to , though?"
Roma froze.
Slowly, she turned back to face him fully.
"Rian?"
"Yes?" He widened the door as he spoke, stepping aside to reveal the archive beyond. "Why are you not in the room?"
He gestured for her to co in.
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